I own none of the characters. All characters from the Dune Universe are property of the Frank Herbert Estate. All characters from the Buffyverse are Property of Joss Whedon. Copyright 2009.
My family has hated the Atreides for centuries. They have been the sand in our eyes, the stink at our meals, these arrogant Atreides, always standing in our way. I want Leto to appreciate the beauty of what I've done to him. I want him to know that I, Baron Vladimir Harkonnen, am the instrument of his family's demise, the extinction of House Atreides and the glorious ascension of House Harkonnen.
Baron Harkonnen
"The Serpent in Paradise"
An autobiography
Surayya lay on a flat leather covered table drenched in sweat. She was deep in the spice agony. Every nerve in her body burned with a chemical reaction that could only be quenched by a consciousness keyed to every cell in her body. For most of the day she lay in her quarters focusing her mind inward becoming aware of herself down to the cellular level. Her mentat training cataloged and indexed her findings but that was not enough. The pain was buried deeper than just the cells and blood of her biology. The suffering was a weight she held back by the prana-bindu way of balancing tension. But that was not enough. The agony spiked. It went in her and touched every tender part of her flesh. Surayya focused again but she could not block the pain. It spiked again. With it, she could hear herself scream until her vocal cords became raw. The Slayers that stood over her did not move a muscle. This scene was being repeated hundreds of times over throughout the fleet. The Slayers knew there was no way around this. They knew what had to be done.
Surayya felt the pain began to build again and she knew she had no defense against it. It spiked again and Surayya was overwhelmed. She focused inward on her body as deep as she could in order to flee the pain and that's where she found what she needed. Surayya understood that her brain is wired to convert information into sensation. What information becomes pleasure, what information becomes pain, what information becomes red is totally arbitrary. The connection between information and sensation was only the result of billions of years of natural selection. It was not written in stone. In a moment of realization Surayya rewired her brain. The pain disappeared. She was where she needed to be. The memories of all of her female ancestors were laid out before her like glittering jewel s on a beach that receded to infinity.
Surayya flew down the corridors of tens of thousands of years of memories.
"There!" Surayya thought. "I have the memories of Sunnydale." She thought to herself. " I have the memories of the things and battles fought there. "I know the real reason why Sunnydale was destroyed!"
Surayya eyes flew open. She sat upright on the table. "I failed." She said to the slayers who sat around the table. "I have no memories of Willow Rosenberg."
"That's ok, sweetie. " Her friend Motorria said. "We got that covered." Motorria said with an open mouth smile.
Surayya leaned forward to take a closer look at her friend. Motorria had changed. Filtered through her new Reverend Mother memories Surayya could tell that Motorria's body language was that of an older girl who was repressed and at the same time highly sexual.
"Did you find her?" Surayya asked anxiously.
"She's not what we thought she was but the power is there. I can feel it. I have memories of magics not available even to Leo." Motorria said. "The stories I could tell you…" Motorria stopped suddenly and looked at Surayya and the other Slayers. "The worm!" she yelped.
The eyes of all of the slayers went round and wide as they all recalled the same memory. "We blew up the Mayor at graduation!" they all said with glee. The slayers all fell together and giggled like school girls.
"XO, Status report." Surayya said, suddenly all business.
"We lost fifty seven slayers during the spice agony." Lisa said sadly. "The roster is available online." She said. Surayya knew what Lisa was saying. She probably knew a few of the dead slayers personally.
Wilma watched the girls from a distance. Even though she was only a few feet from Lisa she felt as if she were as million miles away. Wilma felt as if she was watching them through eyes that were not her own. She didn't know how or why, maybe it was the magics around Tailos, but unlike the other girls she had access to her male ancestors, to one male ancestor in particular, one ancestor that was stronger than the others. She had access to a red headed ancestor that was a direct descendant of Willow Rosenberg. Wilma could hear the voice of that male ancestor droning painfully in her head.
"I am Baron Vladimir Harkonnen of the House Harkonnen. I am alive!" He said. Wilma squeezed one of her breasts and smiled. "Well now," the baron thought, "this is interesting.
"Hey Wilma, you ok?" Surayya asked, "You look distracted."
Wilma paused for a moment and said with a fake smile "Five by Five."