Strange Attraction

Law & Order: SVU

by RoadrunnerGER

Disclaimer: Don't own them, not one of them. Lucky Dick Wolf. :D

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. :D

3

Explanations

"And when he wanted to take what was left out into the kitchen he dumped them all over me and stained my jacket and pants."

"Sounds as if you had a nice evening, except for that," Olivia said.

"Yeah, I guess we did," Elliot mumbled. His cheeks took on a shade of red. "You know that I really love Kathy, right?"

"Yes, El, I know that," she followed his leap of mind. "Have you told her that lately?"

"Of course I have."

For a moment he remained silent.

"I really hope that we can make it work out again," he finally admitted. "I'm just not so sure anymore if I can…" His voice trailed off.

"You can what, El?"

"It's so damned difficult," he whined. "We both were hurt and I don't know where and how to start again."

"With love, Elliot," she said, smiling. "With love and honesty. You have to talk with each other, and when Kathy thinks that a counselor might be good for the both of you, you should give it a try."

"I'm not talking about that counselor. I put up with seeing a counselor. It's… I don't know… sins."

"Sins?" Now Olivia was confused.

"I was unfaithful," he admitted, speaking so lowly again, that she almost missed these three words.

"You were separated for so long. Elliot, you are divorced. Even if it has been only a few days now. Even if you were trying to work out your difficulties, maybe even to get back together, it's perfectly okay to see someone else."

He was chewing his lower lip, grimacing. Finally he replied, "Actually, she never turned in the papers."

Olivia was stunned. After what little he had let on in their talks she had assumed that Kathy carried the divorce papers to court as soon as he signed them after such a long time.

"Did you know that?" she asked, still sounding a bit surprised.

Elliot sniffed.

"Well, not at the time," he said. "I hadn't gotten the official decree, but it was too soon after I gave her the documents anyway." Intently he stared at Olivia. "But not knowing doesn't make a difference."

"It does." She chuckled. "You thought you'd be single. To be single means that you're free to do whatever you like."

"Olivia. I can't forgive myself. How can I expect Kathy to forgive me?"

"Is there something to forgive?" she asked, searching for his gaze and holding it. Then he stared at the underside of the top bunk again. Olivia could not suppress a smirk. He reminded her of a school boy, insecure about his first encounters with the opposite sex.

It's kind of cute… considering that we have to deal with all kinds of sex related crimes day in and day out. Even if we don't like that nickname, Special Victims Unit is called sex crimes for a reason.

"C'mon, Elliot," she pushed. "Spit it out."

He shook his head fervently.

"Why are you so upset, hm?" she queried. "You're certainly not the first man who ever had a one-night stand. So Mike dropped the pizza remains on you, you washed it out, left… you should go on now with the part where you met the woman." She smiled encouragingly.

"I didn't…" Elliot was puzzled. She completely misunderstood! She didn't get that I was talking about Mike all the time! "Um… actually, I never left…"

This time incredulity reigned in her features.

Elliot returned her stare and got the feeling that she still did not realize that he was talking about their Major Case colleague. He started to defend himself but trailed off again. "I mean, I…"

Whatever it was, it was clearly tormenting him. Olivia could not believe it. She watched her partner for a few silent moments, and then it struck her.

"Was it your first time?" she asked.

His dumbfounded look when he now craned his neck to stare at her was priceless.

"Was it your first time with someone other than Kathy?"

Does she still think that I was with another woman? Elliot became scared. Is she rejecting the truth subconsciously? If she is, how can I just go on and tell her? But he felt that he had to get rid of it somehow.

Who could I tell if not my best friend? Olivia is my best friend…

Olivia never would have expected him to turn as crimson as he did now and she could not suppress a low chuckle.

Oh, Lord! She's laughing at me! And he reddened even more. What will you think of me?

"You're cute when you're embarrassed," she teased.

This comment eased his fears a bit. This is Olivia! I can trust her.

Still Elliot's features crumpled. He remembered how someone else had said exactly that to him, leading to something he would never forget, even if he would become as old as the mountains.

tbc…