A/N: I know what you're thinking…IT"S ABOUT TIME! Hah, sorry about the huge gap in the updates, I've been really busy lately w/school and the fact that I just got over my friends death. Luckily, I had great people to support me (SPELL I LURV YOU!) and now here is the chappie you've all been waiting for. It's a bit long, and the next final chapter will be too. Get ready for some tragedy within the next chapter….

Disclaimer: No…I still don't own the Newsies…wish I did though. SpellBell owns Whisper, and Margie Driscoll owns Catherine. Go read their stories, they're wonderful! Title is stolen from a song.

Chapter 12:

"Lost In A Portrait"

Rachel's POV:

It was my fault. I hadn't done anything, only sat there and let everything happen to the people around me. I couldn't deal with it. I wasn't supposed to be dealing with things of this enormity at seventeen. It just doesn't happen. I had no one to turn to, because the two people who were family to me. I shook that one word out of my thoughts: were. No, it couldn't be. Oscar would be stupid…wouldn't he? Get rid of the two people I love the most…he'd want them as a bargain…right? I couldn't deal with it anymore. I had shut myself in the bedroom, not wanting to look at Spell's face to see her anguish. And I didn't want to look anyone else in the face, afraid that I might break down right there. I leaned against the door, refusing to have it opened with my force holding it back.

"Dear God," I said, tears trailing down my face as I leaned my head against the cool wooden door. "Help me…please…someone help me."

A knock on the door startled me, bringing me back to my senses. I was soaked from being outside, my hair was a tangly, wet mess of curls, but I didn't care. "Who's there?" I asked, still sitting on the ground and not wanting to move for anyone, not even Satan himself could make me move.

"Rach?" I heard Ricky's voice through the door, somewhat muffled. "Hey, come downstairs, please.." he asked, half begging.

"No, Ricky…" I sighed. "Just leave me alone, please." I begged, just hoping and praying that he'd leave me alone. "Please…" I half-whispered.

I heard Ricky's footsteps fade as he walked away. I sighed again, and got up slowly. This wasn't happening to me…was it? Suddenly, I turned and unlocked the door, pushing it open and walking out into the hallway. I looked down the long corridor and I could hear hushed whispers floating up from the main room downstairs. I had been weak before now, and now I needed to be strong, for Race and for Jack. No matter what, even with my current feelings for Race, I needed to make sure that they were safe. They were family to me. And I couldn't just let them go like that. I started slowly down the hallway, building up my confidence as I walked. As I stepped slowly down the stairs, I lifted my head high and straightened my shoulders. But as soon as I walked into the room, my valor seemed to crumble. Everyone looked towards me, as if sizing me up. I shifted uncomfortably where I stood, unsure of what to do. Spell's eyes were red as she sat next to Spot, whose gaze was unreadable. Catherine's eyes found mine, and held them for a moment, but the only emotion I could find was sadness. I knew I had caused it, I just knew I had. If I hadn't had anything to do with Oscar, then Race and Jack would be safe. My eyes began to water with tears as I tore my gaze away from Catherine's. I couldn't stand to be here, to see anyone that I cared for be hurt…and yet I made it all happen. Jack and Race were gone because of me, and I didn't even want to think of what Oscar might be doing to them. I looked down at the floor and closed my eyes for a few seconds. I could hear the scraping of a chair against the wooden floor, the only sound in the silence. I opened my eyes and looked up to see Spot standing in front of me, with an expression that I could not read. Or maybe I didn't want to know what he was thinking. He probably thought I was a horrible person, someone who didn't care whatsoever about Jack or Race. I shook my head at him, as if saying that I didn't want to talk and walked past him quickly, and then out the door. The rain had turned to a light mist by now, and it only slightly clung to my skin as I walked down the docks and sat on a large crate. I looked up to the sky, the clouds covering the moon and the stars that were there. I convinced myself that they were hiding from me, and that they didn't want to shine down upon someone so useless and horrible to her friends and family. Although I had no family left, that I knew. My mother and father were dead, and Jack was the only person who was at all related to me. His father, or my uncle that is, was in jail, and my aunt was dead. No motherly tenderness for me, no proud eyes of my father nor mother. No one to tuck me into bed at night. I was alone in this world. I may have had Jack and Spot and everyone else, but other than that…I was alone. They weren't really there, I had convinced myself long ago that they weren't. I had somehow told myself that they were simply acts in a larger play that would somehow end up with my happiness…although at this time, I knew that it would never happen. I could never be truly happy, it'd be too hard for me to bear. The remote happiness that I had experienced in my past life was not going to suit me. I wanted to be happy. Happiness is defined to me as being extremely content with my life, and the possibility of having someone that TRULY cares for me. I didn't want fake love, I've had enough of that in my life, and I didn't want depression. I had been depressed for years, so many that I cannot count. My life was in shambles, and I had just started to sort them out when Jack and Race were kidnapped. I stopped walking when I realized I had no clue as to where I was. For some reason, I wasn't scared. I figured it'd be better to be lost then to have Spot and the rest find me and have to see me like this. My hair was a mess, and I had started crying long ago. The tears had stained my cheeks, making me look like a homeless person. Which, in literal meaning, I was. I didn't have a home. I never really did. The lodging houses were simply places to stay while I was trying to find my place in the world. I half considered turning and walking back to the docks and then making my way to Manhattan, but then I figured that the Newsies would be outside, since the rain had let up. I leaned against the brick wall and pressed my forehead against it's cool surface. I couldn't believe anything was happening. That life was still going on around me. I sighed deeply and turned, pressing my back into the wall and wrapping my arms around me to keep me warm. I heard light footsteps from the right, but I was too lazy to look up and see who it was.

"Rachel?" An unfamiliar voice said from the shadows. I looked up to see a buff, dark haired boy, about the age of sixteen looking at me.

"What?" I asked, irritably, not wanting to deal with anyone as of yet.

"If you want to see Jack or Race again, meet the Delancys back at the docks within an hour. Be late, and they get it," he said, and I saw the menacing look in his eyes. He turned to walk away when I spoke up.

"You can tell Oscar that if he does anything to Race or Jack, he'll get it." I called out, and crossed my arms and gave him my own glare. He shook his head and chuckled a bit before going once again into the shadows and leaving me. I sighed again, and turned back to start walking to where I assumed was Brooklyn. As I walked, I began to take notice of the streets that I passed. They all had something in common, they were too quiet. I had never seen such deserted streets before in my life, not even when there might have been an escaped convict was on the loose. I rubbed my arms, but the goose bumps didn't seem to want to leave at all. I started walking at a faster pace now, looking straight ahead, and not to the sides or else I knew that I'd be too scared to do anything. Then I heard it, footsteps. They were coming from behind me, and I knew that they weren't a figure of my imagination. Even my imagination wasn't that wild. I bit my lip hard, drawing blood. My eyes began to well up from the pain, but I didn't care. I walked faster now, and the footsteps behind me also quickened. I started turning down streets, not caring if I got lost because I just wanted to get away from whoever was following me. Soon, I was at a run, and just as I turned a corner, my foot slipped in a puddle and I was falling. When I hit the ground, a searing pain went through my right shoulder as I cried out. I tried to get up again but two strong arms helped me with that, pulling me up against an even harder body. I tried to wretch free, but to no avail.

"Let me go!" I screamed, throwing my body back into whoever was holding me. I heard a distinctive 'oompf' but the person didn't let me go.

"Stop it will ya?" I heard an all too familiar voice say. The person released my arms and I spun out of them and turned to face my 'attacker.'

"Spot!" I yelled in frustration. "You…little…" I could not get the words out of my mouth as Spot stood in front of me, rubbing his stomach.

Spot's POV:

She had hit me hard. And it hurt like hell. I looked up to see Rachel standing in front of me, fuming. At any other time, it would have been funny, but the fact was that she looked scared as hell, and she also LOOKED like hell. I stood up and winced at the pain shooting through my abdomen. Her eyes were watered over with tears and her shoulders were shaking because it was cold and she didn't have much on, which somehow angered me. I just wanted her to be safe, damnit and she was so damn scared. I didn't want her to feel pain, yet I couldn't stop it. It just…happened. If I could have prevented it, I would have. She looked so delicate, even more delicate with the wind whipping at her face. She was bleeding at the lip, most likely from her biting it, and she had a small scratch on her arm from when she fell. She wrapped her arms around herself, as if it would give her more comfort and security than without them. Her hair was a tousled messed, and her skin gave off a slight sparkle from the rain in the street light's illumination. Slowly I walked towards her, and she looked like she wanted to back up but forced herself to stay put.

"Rachel," I said quietly and stopped a foot in front of her. She lifted her tear stained face to mine, and my defenses crumbled. I had hoped to just take her and bring her back to Brooklyn, and bring her to safety, but I knew it wasn't possible anymore. I was capable of being an ass, I knew it. It was my reputation for being mean and brute, but in front of her…I just couldn't do it. I had to be someone else, someone that I wanted to be for such a long time, but I could never bring that someone out in fear of my enemies finding out. But I didn't care now, Rachel needed me and I wasn't about to be the horrible fighter that I was supposed to be in front of everyone else.

"Spot," she managed to get out before she crumbled into tears. I took her in my arms, and held her close, right there in the middle of the street. I didn't care who saw, it didn't matter to me anymore. I needed her, and she needed me, and that was all that mattered. I kissed her forehead.

"Rachel…sshh.." I said softly to her, tightening my grip around her, and pulling her even closer. She buried her face in my shoulder and grabbed tightly onto my shoulders, crying even harder. I looked up to the sky to see how overcast it had gotten. Tonight was it, this was the final night…I might not be able to see Rachel ever again, and part of me wanted her to leave. I just wanted her to get out of this place and live the perfect life that I knew she was meant to live. And yet a bigger part of me wanted her to stay forever, to not leave me like this. I loved her…at least I thought I did. I felt something every time I was near her, and I had plenty of girls in the past to know that this wasn't a normal feeling. It scared me a bit, and yet at the same time, I embraced the feeling just as Rachel embraced me now. Reluctantly, I pulled away and wiped her tears with my finger. I lifted her face to mine, and looked deep in her eyes. "Rachel…" I said again, softly.

"Spot…I can't do this…" she said, barely able to get the words out of her mouth. "I just…can't."

I brushed a stray piece of hair from away from her eyes. "Rachel…you will not go through dis alone. I promise you."

Rachel shook her head. "They're gonna be waitin' for us back at the docks. I know it. Dey said an hour and I gotta be back there or else…" she said, then starting choking on her words as more tears came. "I wouldn't be able to live wit myself if somethin' happened."

"C'mon," I said, and took her hand in mine. She grasped it tightly and we started walking silently back to Brooklyn. However, after about two minutes of walking I couldn't take it anymore. I swung her around to face me, and kissed her greedily on the mouth. She was shocked at first, but then melted into it, putting her arms around my neck as I pulled her closer. As her mouth opened to let my tongue slide in, I gave a moan of pleasure as my own tongue searched the roof of her mouth. The kiss lasted on for about a minute, until I unwillingly pulled away. Rachel's eyes were closed for a moment then she opened them and looked up at me with an unreadable expression. I kissed her forehead, and then we started walking again. By the time we had maneuvered through the streets and gotten back to Brooklyn, it was once again raining, but harder this time. Lightening flashed overhead as we heard yelling from the docks. We both started running and stopped short at the scene before us.

Both the Delancy brothers were already there, with about thirty thugs. And on the ground laid Mush...bleeding from the stomach.

A/N: I'm so EVIL! I know it, but don't worry. The next chapter is coming up as soon as I can do it, it's gonna be long, so I hope you guys like it!