Author's Note: I do NOT own Twilight. EEK! 20 REVIEWS! Did I mention how much I love your reviews? THANK YOU SO MUCH! You guys rock!! Also, if you noticed, I used edwardsbaby123's suggestion in the last chapter, so feel free to leave me a review if you want me to add you (or an idea of yours) into a story of mine! I probably won't be able to do it anymore for this story, since there are only 2 chapters left, but if you want to make you a guest in one of my other stories, go check out my "Twilight Fortunately-Unfortunately Game" and "Road Trip with the Cullens" on my profile and leave a review! :] And….back to Jasper!!

Floor 8 seemed like a good chance to escape. The chili man had gotten out at that floor, as well as the two teenage girls, and some lawyer who had stepped in at floor 5. I began to sprint through the metallic doors when I heard an angry voice shrieking at vampire speed,

"JASPERWHITLOCKHALETHEREYOUARE,YOUAREINSUCHBIGTROUBLEYOUNGMANDON'TYOUDAREDOTHATEVERAGAIN!!DOYOUHEARME??WHAT ARE YOUDOING?NO!COMEBACK!WEHAVETOGOTONORDSTROMSTHEYHAVEASHOESALEFIFTYPERCENTOFFCOMEBACKHERERIGHTNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[Translation: Jasper Whitlock Hale, there you are, you are in such big trouble young man, don't you dare do that ever again! Do you hear me?? What are you doing? No! Come back! We have to go to Nordstrom's, they have a shoe sale; fifty percent off, come back here right now!]

I panicked. No way would Alice risk exposing her vampire status by flitting to my side across the mall in the two seconds before the elevator doors closed again.

I hurriedly took a deep breath and reentered the elevator. I heard faint cries of, "Jasper..!" but the elevator moved up and Alice was gone.

I was once again, trapped, and still very, very thirsty. I knew very well that Alice would know where I was heading, so I had do make quick, snap-second decisions to avoid her and her terrifying shoe sale. Nothing worse than an angry Alice Cullen with an armful of high-heels and a discount card.

It was only after that last sigh of relief of escaping the wrath of Alice, Furious Shopping Zealot, when I was hit by all those overpowering smells of delicious red blood that I realized that I was, again, trapped in an elevator with a bunch of delicious, blood-filled humans.

I recalled my days of training in the Civil War and with Maria. Slowly, I breathed and tried to use the anti-human blood mantra Carlisle had taught me. I pressed myself against the wall, hugged my chest, and began murmuring to myself:

"I am a good, decent person, blood belongs IN bodies, not out. I am a good, decent person, blood belongs IN bodies, not out. I am a good, decent person, blood belongs IN human, not out-"

There was a big laugh behind me, and I opened one of my eyes to look at the teenage daughter of the family, wearing a black T-shirt that read "TEAM TWILIGHT."

Humans are so strange. Why support a time of day? The girl was snickering at me. I felt my face grow hot with embarrassment, though it really did no such thing.

Major Jasper Whitlock, vampire, Confederate soldier, Southern army official, hugging his tummy with his eyes closed mumbling to himself over and over again.

I must have looked ludicrous. I prayed that no darn Yankees-or worse, Emmett-would ever see me in this position again.

But apparently that was not what she had found so funny.

"You have to allow blood to stay in people's bodies or you're not a good person?" She snorted.

Sympathy from 5-year-olds and attitude from teenagers. What next?

I held my breath as I asked the strange girl, "Who are you?"

Still chuckling, she replied, "Sydney. And I repeat, you need to keep blood in people's bodies or else you're a bad person? Ha! What about Robert Pattinson?" [No, I do not know Robert Pattinson personally, and mean no offense whatsoever. :]

I frowned. Robert Pattinson? What the Volturi did he have to do with blood in people's bodies?

It wasn't as if he were a vampire or anything, as I know, he doesn't look like any vampire I've ever met, though I suppose he has quite a bit of Edward in the sculpt of his face and that odd bronze hair.

I ignored Sydney's strange comment, closed my eyes, and continued mumbling. "Blood stays IN human bodies, not out, blood belongs IN human bodies, not out..."

Suddenly, right out of the blue, the elevator door opened, and before I could make a mad dash for it I was smothered by two burly quarterbacks dragging a boy whose face was covered with blood.

"Don't mind us, our friend just needs to visit a doctor," said one of them. The other one snickered. I looked at the kid whose nose had been rearranged. His blood was smeared all over his face, thick and red and beautiful.

I wanted to cry.

Aw, poor Jasper. What is that football player doing in a mall anyway? No idea, really. Epilogue coming next! Please review!! :]