Okay everyone. I am meant to replace wand with wang.
Wang is a boy's thing.
You get it now?
Sorry for the misunderstandment.
Disclaimer: I dont' own Harry Potter. This fanfic was only made in jest
He snatched his wang from the bedside table and stood facing his bedroom door, listening with all his might.
'Lower your wang, boy, before you take someone's eye out!' said a low, growling voice.
He knew that voice, but he did not lower his wang.
Harry lowered his wang slightly but did not relax his grip on it, nor did he move.
A wang-tip flared, illuminating the hall with magical light.
'Oooh, he looks just like i thought he would,' said the witch who was holding her lit wang aloft.
Very conscious of everybody still staring at him, Harry descended the stairs, stowing his wang in the back pocket of his jeans as he came.
'Don't put your wang there, boy!' roared Moody. 'What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!'
...
'Never you mind, you just keep your wang out of your back pocket!' growled Mad-Eye. 'Elementary wang-safety, nobody bothers about it anymore.'
'Most wizards need to use a wang, or potions, to change their appearance.'
'Don't be stupid, it'll be much quicker if I – pack!' cried Tonks, waving her wang in a long, sweeping movement at the floor.
She flicked her wang hopefully.
She pointed her wang at Hedwig's cage.
'...wang still in your jeans?'
Holding her wang like a conductor's baton, Tonks made the trunk hover across the room and out of the door ahead of them, Hedwig's cage in her left hand.
'Come here, boy,' said Moody gruffly, beckoning Harry towards him with his wang.
... 'Disillusionment charm,' said Moody, raising his wang.
He rapped him hard on the top of the head and Harry felt a curious sensation as though Moody had just smashed an egg there; cold trickles seem to be running down his body from the point the wang had struck.
'Come on,' said Moody, unlocking the back door with his wang.
...now Emmeline Vance was on his right, her wang out, her head turning left and right...
He took Harry by the arm and led him from the patch of grass, across the road and on to the pavement; Lupin and Tonks followed, carrying Harry's trunk between them, the rest of the guard, all with their wangs out, flanking them.
'Here,' Moody muttered, thrusting a piece of parchment towards Harry's Disillusioned hand and holding his lit wang close to it, so as to illuminate the writing.