A/N: What a sad episode Sunday was. I really enjoyed seeing the types of things that occurred on a day off in Atlantis and would have loved to see more of what they do in their down time, but killing off Carson even though it brought about Keller was such a shocking disappointment. Even so, I find myself watching that episode often. I always wondered if Teyla and Dr Hewston were talking about John or not? Anyway, totally off subject. Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing my story… Don't forget to review.

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Stargate Atlantis or it's wonderful characters.

Spoilers: Through Reunion in Season 4

On the timeline: Sunday – Season 3

8 – Light in the Darkness

Dr. Keller closed the patient chart for Teyla and sat down on the edge of her bed in the infirmary. Today had been a heartbreaking day in Atlantis. Four expedition members had lost their lives, one of those being Dr. Carson Beckett. Life would move on and the sadness would ease, but at the moment Jennifer just didn't see how.

"How are you doing, Teyla?"

"I am a little sore, but more than that, it is my heart that aches." Tayla looked down at her hands in her lap

"I'm sorry, Teyla, I know you and Dr. Hewston were friends."

They didn't mention Dr. Beckett - it wasn't necessary. Both knew the other was grieving for the man who was the heart of the City.

Grasping for another topic, Jennifer began, "At least the power hasn't flickered or gone off in the last hour. Hopefully the engineers have that under control."

Jennifer saw Teyla turn toward the entrance; she followed her gaze to see Ronon stroll into the infirmary. He made his way over to Teyla's side, smiling at the girls in greeting.

"How is the city doing?" Teyla asked.

"Sheppard said the tower is structurally sound and McKay said they should have the power under control if they'll quit touching stuff before consulting him." Ronon shrugged.

"Well," Jennifer stood, "I'll let the two of you visit. I'm going off duty for now. I promised Dr. Cole I'd relieve her in the morning."

Before leaving Jennifer leaned down lightly hugging Teyla, being careful of her injury on the left. "I'm glad you're ok. Rest for me please."

"You also, it has been an exhausting day for you as well."

Jennifer gave the two a nod, "Goodnight."

Jennifer walked into her room and sat on her bed. She looked about dejectedly, not knowing what to do with herself. Sleep would be long in coming, and Jennifer didn't even attempt to fool herself into thinking she could do that.

She changed into her jogging clothes and set out. She was hoping an hour or more of her feet hitting the ground would help her mind turn off for a while.

After a half hour of running Jennifer realized the beat of her feet against the ground wasn't giving her the relief she needed. Instead the pounding was setting the tempo of her thoughts. The faster she ran the quicker the thoughts and images entered her mind. In a vicious cycle, the memories had her feet picking up the pace trying to flee and outdistance herself from her mind.

Then she was suddenly plunged into darkness and heard the sound of herself letting out a quick scream.

Teyla watched John approach her infirmary bed. He had a haunted look upon his face that he quickly covered as he neared the bed.

"Hey Ronon, Teyla."

"Hello, John," Teyla greeted, while Ronon nodded at John.

"How are you feeling, Teyla," he asked. "Anything I can get you?"

"I believe that I am fine, John."

"McKay and the engineers seem to have…"

Sheppard was cut off by the power going off, followed a moment later by the emergency generators in the infirmary kicking in.

"McKay," Sheppard growled in frustration.

"Jennifer," Ronon exclaimed as he grabbed the flashlight he'd set on the bedside table. Sheppard had handed them out after the first explosion when many of the systems had failed. He nodded at Teyla, before promptly leaving.

"Jennifer?" Sheppard asked while walking around to sit in the seat vacated by Ronon.

"Yes, Dr. Keller."

"Oh, yeah…" Sheppard stopped and looked at Teyla, "Since when is it not Dr. Keller?"

"They are friends," she said quietly.

"When did that happen?"

Teyla smiled wryly, "I guess while you were not looking."

Sheppard shook his head and looked around the infirmary. The place would never be the same without the Scottish accented orders given by the ever present Dr. Beckett. He looked at Teyla and a flash of her on the stretcher with a metal scrap of wall sticking out of her side swept through his mind. He shuddered and looked away.

"John?" Teyla's voice quietly pulled him back.

He rested his hand over hers in a reassuring gesture. The day went from a celebration of a well-earned day off, to mourning their fallen. He refused to contemplate life without her.

Sheppard laid his head down on the bed next to their hands and allowed himself to breathe. He felt her hand leave his and make its way into the hair at the nape of his neck, slowly stroking his neck. Her fingers had a lulling as well as tingling effect on him; he didn't dare move in case she stopped.

"We will be alright, John," he heard her quietly say with conviction. He wasn't sure if she was talking about the inhabitants of Atlantis or the two of them. Knowing Teyla, she probably meant both.

Jennifer stood stock still, waiting… waiting to see if this was a momentary issue. After a few minutes she realized this was going to be a prolonged problem.

Now her issue was whether to continue or go back. She wasn't sure if she was over halfway or not. Jennifer groped her way over to the wall and leaned against it. Damn but it was dark, as she lifted her hand towards her face she realized she couldn't even see her fingers wiggling.

She began to walk slowly with her hand lightly skimming along the wall for guidance. When she came to her first doorway she slid past the opening reaching for the wall beyond. She strove to keep her mind from thinking about all the things that go bump in the night. This was going to take forever and the blackness was already starting to unnerve her.

She began to see shadows of things lurking in the dark, even though her head said it was too dark even for shadows. Her ears were picking up noises she knew were either her imagination or herself.

Jennifer felt the wall disappear and realized that she was at a corner. She tried to envision herself running this way earlier. Had she made a right or left? She couldn't believe the memory was escaping her. She ran this way all the time, you'd think despite the dark or doing this backward, she'd have some instinct on this.

She moved to her left, but after another step or two and not finding a wall, she began to get a little panicked. She ventured forward another time and still no wall. She swung her arms wide in a circle and found nothing.

Where was that damn wall, any wall would do at this moment. She slid forward and swung her arms, but nothing came into contact. "Damn those engineers and McKay," she grumbled quietly. She found her voice in the dark was a little more comforting than the silence. "Get us all comfortable with thinking the lights would stay on and then this."

She took another hesitant step and found a wall, of course now she was unsure which direction she was facing. "Stupid Ancients and their need to build, then abandon, weapons to use against the Wraith." Jennifer's voice gained in force as she began to warm to her topic.

"Didn't they think it prudent to destroy the weapon when they screwed up that badly? Of course not, the Ancients don't get rid of anything. Stupid pack rats!" Jennifer's voice raised even more as her ranting continued.

"Could they have clearly labeled the item or locked it up? Nope… I bet they even made horrible parents, no safety guards on anything. No gate around the pool, no five point harness car seats in the Puddle Jumpers. I bet they didn't even have any baby gates…"

As Ronon left the infirmary he headed straight for Jennifer's running route. It was odd, and he wouldn't have ever guessed it, but he and Jennifer were similar. They both had really good friends, exceptional even, but when things were stressful they needed time alone.

Ronon jogged swiftly down the stairs where he usually met up with Jennifer on nights they ran together. He enjoyed running with her. She added a companionable layer without the need for a lot of idle talking.

Ronon knew when she left the infirmary she'd end up jogging to work out the stress, tension and loss she'd experienced today. He needed to get to her though. He knew the kind of darkness she was experiencing was disorienting. He experienced such darkness as a runner, while hiding in caves; it could cripple a man mentally.

Ten minutes later Ronon rounded a corner leading into another and the beam of his flashlight revealed Jennifer standing against the wall. He felt his heart stop at the lost look he saw in the posture of her body.

Jennifer watched the light coming her way mesmerized by the swaying motion. When Ronon came into view her body sagged with relief. It was as if she'd been holding herself together by sheer will. Waiting for the time when it'd be ok to fall apart.

"Ronon," she whispered raggedly.

"Jennifer?" he asked watching her bottom lip begin to tremble.

She placed her fingers on her own lips trying to control the quiver. "You called me Jennifer," she marveled.

He ducked his head, "Sorry 'bout that."

"No, please," she begged, "I want you to."

Ronon watched Jennifer lean more heavily against the wall and let gravity take over. When she settled on the floor the tears began. Not knowing what to say to her, he took a seat on the floor next to her. As her crying intensified he put an arm around her and pulled her close and simply allowed her to cry.

Ronon tried not to think about all the reasons Jennifer was falling apart. It had been a rough day for everyone, but he knew she was close to Dr. Beckett.

She'd paced, clearly agitated, in the corridor as close to the infirmary as she could get considering the lock out Dr. Beckett had invoked. Her pacing hadn't stopped until after the explosion. At that time she had raced to the infirmary and hadn't slowed down to grieve. Instead she had been in one surgery after another caring for those injured in the first explosion.

As Ronon tried to push all thoughts of the terrible day from his mind he noticed that his hand was absently brushing along Jennifer's arm as he held her close. This was the first non-professional touching between them since Jennifer kissed him months ago. Actually, if you didn't count his first few seconds of shock, you could say since they kissed.

He was still unclear why she had come to his quarters and initiated that kiss. Other then a few moments of blushing in his presence here and there when she first got back from Earth, she acted as if it'd never happened.

She had captured his interest in that moment. Not in a romantic or sexual way, but he'd honestly not really noticed her before the kiss occurred. She'd treated him in the infirmary on occasion, but his thought of her hadn't extend beyond that context.

Then when she first got back from Earth, he found that he noticed her. All the time. In the mess hall, in the infirmary, in the gate room, meetings, missions, hallways. He found himself wondering what made a woman like her tick, what were her likes and dislikes? Did she laugh often? Who were her friends? Why did she come back to Atlantis, when so many chose to stay on Earth when given the option of returning?

Now they were friends. He wasn't sure when that snuck up on him, but it was true. Somehow this woman had become his friend without an ounce of effort.

He had told John earlier today that he wasn't seeing anyone… that he wasn't ready. He realized one thing as his hand slid up and down Jennifer's arm. If he weren't careful, this young healer would change that… again, without an ounce of effort.

He felt her begin to stir and was startled to realize that her crying had subsided.

Jennifer leaned a little away from Ronon, but not completely out of his embrace, "Sorry 'bout that, Ronon."

"Nothing to be sorry 'bout."

"Kind of fell apart on ya there," she said attempting to smile up at him.

"You had reason," he said with a small smile back.

She fidgeted with her hands, "I just don't know how we're going to get past this… and Laura…Lt. Cadman," she clarified. "This is going to kill her."

"She'll get through it. She has friends… they won't let her fall," he said with conviction.

Jennifer nodded at his attempt to comfort her, knowing he was talking about Laura specifically, but also… all of them. "Thank you."

Ronon looked around the shadowy corridor, then back at Jennifer. "Do you want to head back?" He felt himself holding his breath.

She looked up at him guiltily, "You probably have things you'd like to get back to."

"No," there was truly nowhere he'd rather be, and he wasn't going to dwell on the why at the moment.

Jennifer looked away and then back at him, obviously uncomfortable with what she was going to say next.

"Could you tell me something that is good… you know, something that had a good ending? Like the story of how Sheppard and Teyla found you?" She looked at him sheepishly, "Carson told me you passed out when he finished removing your wraith tracking device from you back," Jennifer said grinning at him.

Ronon slid his hand up her arm until he could clamp down on her shoulder. He pulled her back while he leaned away from her. "You thinks that's funny, do ya," he growled at her just before breaking into a grin of his own.

Jennifer's eyes went from wide with worry to narrowed with a mock glare before she pocked him in the ribs tickling him.

Ronon's grin broadened and he leaned further away to get away from her wiggling fingers.

"Hey, hey," he laughed, "I thought I was going to tell a story?"

She settled her head back against his chest, "This ought to be interesting. I don't think I've ever heard you string together more than three sentences at a time," she giggled.

She could hear the rumble in his chest as he growled at her in warning. "Ok, ok, on with the story."

Ronon smiled as he looked down at the woman in his arms. He felt her body jerk when he switched off the flash light, "Don't want the light to burn out before we start back."

He gave her a quick squeeze as he began telling her a story, postponing reality just a little longer.