(Parler) With Closed Eyes
I. Speak
It was 3a.m on a stifling Sunday morning when the screaming began.
It took her a few moments, jerked abruptly out of her slumber, to remember what was happening, until the air was rent by an agonised cry.
"Lesdeuxno…viergesonegaiavecnoleursMAINS…onegainoonegaiPLEASENONO"
It was disjointed and interrupted by choked breaths but the words went straight through her.
She sat and grabbed the thrashing girl by the shoulders and gave her a single, fierce shake.
"Kirika. Wake up."
And just like that, the girl's eyes flashed open, staring right through her at some dire vision. In the silvery light from the window, beads of sweat stood out in sharp relief on her skin as she gasped.
"You had a bad dream. It's ok."
After a moment her eyelashes drooped and she slumped back into the damp sheets.
"Miri…elle…"
"You had a bad dream." The woman repeated. Kirika nodded, but her small hands still trembled as she struggled to free herself from the bedclothes twisted around her. Mirielle helped unwind them and the girl sat, drawing her knees up to her chest. Neither of them spoke for a while, the Kirika just looking into the distance under lowered eyelids, Mirielle watching her sideways. Then she glanced over at the clock and groaned, rubbing her forehead.
"I'm sorry."
Mirielle just shook her head with a low 'mmph'. She stretched, and plucked at the nightdress stuck to her skin. Then she got to her feet.
Kirika's head jerked up at the movement but the woman merely laid her hand on her thin shoulder before walking down to rest of their apartment and across to the only window still closed, pushing it open. Then she turned and looked back up at the girl, as if she could feel her eyes following her, and came back across. She sat down on the bed with a sigh, smoothing out the sheet next to her.
"…sorry." Kirika whispered.
"It's fine. Same one?"
"Mm."
"You're having it a lot recently. Is it the heat?"
She shrugged, pressing her face into her knees.
"Could be the painkillers." Mirielle mused to herself. "We'll see about reducing them."
She didn't get a response. Kirika was very, very still, her breathing inaudible. Another person might have thought she'd fallen asleep again. Mirielle knew better.
She just lay back down, stretching out her long legs and then curling back up again, closing her eyes. After a moment, the girl brought her head back up from her legs and looked at her from under a curtain of hair.
"Mirielle…."
"Lie down."
After a long pause, she did, facing the other woman, but didn't move after that. Mirielle sighed again, opened her eyes and saw that she was peering into her face as if waiting, uncertain of something.
It was part of what they did, letting things like this go unspoken. The question was obvious to both of them, almost painfully so, but neither could acknowledge it with anything but a look, or the slightest of nods, almost a twitch, that Mirielle gave her.
The bed creaked as Kirika crept closer and the woman's legs uncurled to accommodate her. Her cheek brushed against Mirielle's collar bone. It was wet.
"It was bad this time, wasn't it." The woman murmured. It wasn't really a question.
She felt Kirika nod, and the slightest tickle of breath as she spoke. It made her shiver.
"I did…things."
It was a strange thing to say, but the meaning was easy to understand. Mirielle knew better than to ask what. If she did receive an answer, it was unlikely to be anything she wished to hear. Besides, making the girl repeat it was probably unnecessarily cruel.
So instead, she asked, "In your dream?"
Kirika nestled into her, and her eyelash brushed against her skin. She was very close, but even then Mirielle barely caught the faint tremble in her voice as she replied.
"Don't know."
She didn't ask anything else. What could she?
So instead she just stayed where she was and let Kirika rest against her. She didn't hold her (that would be a little to close to breaking that unspoken agreement, their rule), but she did tuck a stray strand of black hair behind a delicate ear, running her thumb along its edge. Everything about the girl was small, almost fragile, which made her in a way all the more unnerving. A disturbing enigma, Mirielle had called her once: but the more she understood of Kirika, the less and less disturbing she found her.
Especially after that first nightmare.
A soft sound from the Kirika drew her back out of her thoughts. Her fingertips had found the sweep of her slender neck, trailing down to her shoulders; she drew her hand away as quickly as she dared and let it hang loosely round the girl (not holding her, not quite).
And feeling the heat rise in her cheeks, keeping her eyes determinedly shut as she knew the other girl was, a small voice in her mind questioned exactly how much less of an enigma Kirika was becoming to her.
She crushed it.
Presently, she felt sleep begin to creep back up on her. For a moment, she wondered if she should move; but then it occurred to her that if she did, she might wake the girl. Satisfied with that thought, she let herself relax, and soon slipped into a deep and dreamless slumber.
It the hot, moonlit apartment Kirika lay with her eyes closed, quite, quite awake.
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