Chapter Five
A/N: I'm aware how ridiculously long this chapter is, but I couldn't see a way to cut it down and keep the pace moving along.
When Chad returned home every light, save the one hanging from the porch, was turned off and the house appeared silent and empty. He pushed his key into the lock as quietly as possible and winced as the door clicked shut behind him. Hearing no sound from above, he left his shoes in the hallway and tiptoed up the stairs.
In the gloom of their bedroom he could just make out a motionless shape under the duvet with its back to the door.
Swirling mouthwash around his teeth, he stripped down to his boxers and, lifting the corner of the duvet, slid into bed.
For a moment he thought he'd managed not to disturb her, but Taylor rolled over and spoke in a voice croaky with sleep,
"Chad...."
"Sorry, did I wake you?"
"No, I was only dozing, waiting for you....."
Chad struggled to find the words to apologise and explain where he'd driven off to. Shuffling across the mattress towards him, he felt Taylor's breath on his cheek as she whispered,
"I'm sorry about earlier; getting all mad at you when you were relaxing."
He tried to assure her that everything was fine now and not to worry because she was obviously stressed after her hard day at work, but she quelled his attempt with a tentative kiss.
Chad didn't reciprocate immediately and as she moved away he feared that he had only made things worse. When he reached out to pull her back, she murmured,
"No, let me do this for you."
He felt a warm hand slip inside his boxers, stroking him in that slow, methodical way of hers. Their relationship had never been fueled by nights of intense passion; after their long, tiring days at their respective workplaces, sex was not a top priority. When they did have the time it was usually Chad who suggested it, sliding a cautious hand up her leg, but more often than not Taylor would push him away and continue reading.
Now, however, the tables had turned and, not wanting to cause another dispute, Chad forced himself to go through the motions with his mind elsewhere.
Taylor had already taken off her nightdress and was having difficulty pulling the boxers over his hips. Aware that she was having trouble, Chad removed them himself and, smiling embarrassedly, Taylor straddled his body and awkwardly lowered herself onto him.
With a small smile of his own, Chad reflected that this part, at least, hadn't changed at all.
Whenever she'd agreed to have sex, Taylor preferred to ride on top, as she was now, so as to remain completely in control.
Chad lay still, his hands loosely gripping her hips as she pushed herself up and down rhythmically. Staring up at the ceiling, he allowed Taylor to guide his hands to her breasts, making quiet noises of approval when he feared it was obvious that his mind wasn't solely focused on her.
He wondered if the other guys from high school were like this. Troy, Zeke, Jason: were their sex lives as lacklustre as his own? What about Ryan and that girl? Ryan –
Chad came so suddenly he caught both himself and Taylor unawares.
Climbing off him, Taylor rested her head on his chest and stretched her arm across him. Chad continued staring up at the ceiling long after her breathing had become steady and deep. He felt, if it was possible, more tense than before as her ring pressed coldly against his skin.
****
The following weekend Taylor placed a kiss on his cheek, a grocery list in his hand, and sent him off to the shops. Full of screaming children and harried looking mothers, the place was as full as ever so Chad tried to buy everything as quickly as possible. However, he soon found himself standing completely perplexed in the hair product aisle.
He was just reading the back of one bottle and comparing it with another when a large family pushed passed him, knocking the shampoo out of his hands and scattering toothbrushes from another shelf all over the floor.
Sighing, Chad crouched down and gathered the products together when a pair of pale, long fingered hands swiped the nearest brush out of his reach. He tilted his neck back in an attempt to see who was either trying to help or hinder him when his feet slipped from under him and he fell backwards.
He heard the other person's laughter and was about to flip them off and tell them where to go when one of those hands reached down, offering to pull him up. Taking it roughly, he managed to stand upright and after the momentary dizziness had disappeared, his eyes widened in disbelief.
Ryan smiled broadly and withdrew his hand from Chad's.
"We have got to stop meeting like this."
When Chad didn't answer straight away, Ryan elaborated whilst rocking awkwardly on his heels,
"You know, with one of us falling over and the other picking them up."
Blinking, Chad answered apologetically,
"Sorry, I really didn't expect to run into you here, but yeah, it is getting a little ridiculous."
He gestured between the two of them as Ryan handed him the toothbrush who added,
"Well, at least I didn't find you staring in bemusement at the feminine hygiene products. When I used to shop for Sharpay, people always seemed to catch me comparing tampon brands. At least you don't have that problem."
Chad found himself shaking his head and changing the subject.
"So, how've you been? How did the moving go?"
Ryan shrugged and walked alongside Chad as he continued down the aisle.
"It was a little weird; leaving all that behind, but I think it's for the best."
Something in Ryan's tone made Chad stop selecting cereal and turn to face him.
"Oh yeah?"
"Well......I'm hoping it's for the best. I mean, Shar really seems to hate me now and I'm stuck living at home until I find someplace else." He abruptly stopped speaking in that vein and looked down at Chad's list. "Do you want me to go fetch your washing powder? I use a different brand which smells great, but if you like that one I – "
Chad placed a hand on his shoulder, making him fall silent.
"Don't babble, man. If you want, we can, you know....." Chad lost his thread and substituted with vague hand gestures.
"Talk?" Ryan suggested.
"Yes! Well, let me go to the checkout first and then we can....oh...." Remembering that he was supposed to measure up the lounge for a new bookcase, he paused for a moment before continuing. "I'm kinda busy this afternoon, so maybe some other time."
"How about this evening? I'm going for a meal at that little Italian, the one near – "
"Yeah, I know which one you mean. The food's great there! Who are you going with?"
Chad hoped his sneaky question wouldn't appear too prying, but looking down at the floor in embarrassment, Ryan answered,
"Oh, no one. I just fancied a meal out."
He was on the point of inviting himself, when he remembered that he'd promised Taylor a quiet night in. Chad sighed, wishing he could rearrange things with his wife.
"Sorry, man, I'm busy tonight as well. We could meet up sometime later in the week......if you want....."
His tone was hopeful and Ryan, not hiding his disappointment completely, nodded. They promised to arrange a proper meeting and were on the point of turning away from each other when Chad decided to embrace Ryan. Caught unawares, the smaller man froze for a moment and then squeezed back gently. Before he pulled away, he inhaled Chad's scent surreptitiously, something rising in his chest when he heard,
"I've missed you, Ry. We should have kept in touch."
They parted at the checkout, exchanging numbers and promising to call. As Ryan paid for his few items and walked out of the store, he had to prevent himself from whistling.
****
Taylor was simultaneously talking on the phone and taping her laptop keyboard when he returned. Putting the shopping away as quietly as he could, she gave him a quick thumbs up as he shut the last cupboard door and left the room.
Chad flopped down on the couch and, out of habit, switched on the sports channel. He watched the game blankly until he realised his team had scored twice in the last five minutes and he hadn't even moved an inch. Again and again he cast his mind back to the second coincidental encounter with Ryan, wondering if he should have invited him for a coffee or stayed and talked for longer. Hearing Taylor finish her phone call, he heaved himself up and went to fetch the tape measure for that bookcase of hers.
****
"Do you want chicken or beef?"
"Huh?"
Taylor repeated herself,
"Chicken or beef? I'm going to start the food soon."
Chad folded his paper and looked up at her, standing in the doorway with a packet of meat in each hand.
"Er, well, whatever you fancy."
She rolled her eyes and returned to the kitchen, leaving him alone in the lounge again.
The decision took all of one minute and even less for him to rush into the kitchen, phone in hand and ready for her accusations.
"I'm really sorry, Tay, but one of the guys from work says they think there's been a break in. I'm going to have to go and check on the office."
To his surprise, Taylor didn't fly off the handle and merely put the meat back in the fridge calmly.
"When will you be back? Do you want me to leave something out for you to heat up?"
He hadn't really planned what to say in answer to the inevitable questions, but at least she wasn't shouting. Chad shrugged, apologising again,
"I've got no idea, sorry. You remember the last time this happened? I was out for hours talking to the police."
She nodded, apparently unconcerned that their quiet evening in being postponed. He continued, as she opened up her laptop again,
"I'm going to walk to the store for some light bulbs. It may just be the police getting paranoid because the security lights have blown."
He was on the point of leaving when he turned at the last minute, walking towards her to plant a light kiss on her cheek. If he had hoped that would ease his guilt, he was disappointed but Taylor didn't appear to be at all fazed by the turn of events and continued typing.
****
Once the front door had shut behind him, Chad breathed in the clear summer air with relief. They hadn't argued at all since his storming out a couple of nights ago, but it was like treading on eggshells constantly and he desperately needed to escape, even if it was for only a few hours.
He walked down their driveway confidently until he reached the gate. Standing there pensively for a moment, he stared uncertainly back at the house, unaware that he was twisting the ring around his finger. Determined to see this through, Chad turned his back on the house and started off in the opposite direction to his office. As he walked, the pavement under his feet still warm from the day's sun, he found himself thinking back to the beginning of it all.
****
Troy had heard it from Gabriella who, in turn, had heard from Taylor herself, so Chad, being the last one in the chain, felt a stab of jealousy before he even began to consider the best course of action.
He sat in his empty flat, the phone resting silently beside him and tried to think things through as calmly as possible. Deciding, finally, he began dialing a familiar number.
She arrived at the small Italian restaurant he'd picked out for it's relative privacy after him and, dressed in her smart office suit, found his table and pecked him on the cheek.
For a while they made small talk, exchanging various pieces of inconsequential news about their respective days until the food arrived. Chad began to feel a chill of apprehension so great that he could hardly bear to look at his own plate of pasta. Once the wine had been poured, he sucked in a deep breath, took a large gulp of wine to steady his nerves and spoke,
"Taylor, we've been together since senior year, through university and now here we are; a couple working independently to earn a living."
He stood up and awkwardly bent down on one knee. She sat staring at him, a forkful of spaghetti halfway to her mouth. He cleared his throat and continued,
"Taylor McKessie, will you marry me?"
He presented her with a ring and she accepted it, beaming.
"Oh Chad, thank you! Wait 'til I tell Gabi; she'll be thrilled."
She began listing possible wedding venues and arrangements to be made when he interrupted.
"We need to talk about the baby, Tay. Troy told me all about it and I have some money –"
Looking up long enough from the sparkling ring, she cut in,
"I don't have it any more. I thought it was best to wait until we're both ready. It wouldn't be fair on the child."
Chad felt the bottom of his stomach drop out but Taylor didn't notice as she talked animatedly with Gabriella on the phone.
****
Chad approached that same small Italian slowly and, without realising the full extent of his actions, slid the ring off and left it in his pocket. He couldn't say then, or even after, why he had felt the need to do so when he had never intended anything to happen.
He pushed open the door of the restaurant, an odour of freshly cooked pasta welcoming him, and prayed that when he scanned the table, he would find the person he was looking for.
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