Chapter Eight
Out of habit, Chad reached inside his jacket pocket and fished out his ring, slipping it onto his finger. He walked unsteadily up the driveway to his front door, legs unwilling to take him any closer. Turning his key in the lock, the door was suddenly flung open by Taylor, flushed with excitement and talking so fast her words were incomprehensible. She waved a thin, white object in his face as she stepped back slightly to let him close the door.
Still shaken from her earlier phone call, Chad had trouble focusing, but with great effort he brought his attention back to the present. She was babbling about doctor's appointments and plans when he decided to interrupt her.
"Taylor, what's the matter? Why did you call me so urgently?"
Rolling her eyes, she shoved the object into his hand.
"I'm pregnant, Chad. Look at the test."
He felt as if he'd been physically winded in a Wildcat game and studied the pregnancy test in his hand mutely.
There was no mistaking it: She was pregnant. With his child.
For one fleeting moment, he caught himself seriously considering the possibility that she too had been having an affair, but that was an impossibility. Workaholic she may be, but dishonest? Despite her flaws, Taylor had never to his knowledge lied for personal gain. Come too think of it, he'd never thought himself to be adept at deceit. That was, of course, before Ryan had reappeared and turned everything he knew about himself upside down.
He stood silently, eyes unfocused as he cast his mind back to their fateful meeting at the airport terminal. Taylor clicked her fingers in front of his face impatiently and he questioned without thinking,
"So, is it mine?"
Surprisingly, she didn't shout at him for daring to even question her fidelity. Instead, she shook her head in disbelief and lifted the phone of the hook.
"Honestly, Chad, I don't know how you could even think that. I'm calling Gabi, she was dying to know what your reaction would be."
Shutting the lounge door behind her, Taylor left Chad still standing motionless in the hallway. He leaned back against the wall, allowing his shaking legs to give way as he slid down to the floor. Through the wall he could hear Taylor's chatter interspersed with laughter and he drew his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them.
How could this be happening? Everything that was certain, everything he was sure of; how could it all have changed in the space of an hour?
His afternoon with Ryan now felt like a different lifetime, one where he had chosen differently and ended up sharing an apartment in New York with the Drama King of East High instead of living only a street away from his childhood home with a woman who felt like a stranger.
Thoughts of fine, blond hair and a smile that never failed to make him giddy occupied his mind briefly, until the image of that narrow, pale face, eyes wide in disbelief crashed into his consciousness. His chest tightened as the leaden feeling in his stomach grew. It had never really left, not when he clasped the warm, lithe body to his own, nor when he lay in bed with Taylor, his dreams filled with images of his activities earlier that night. Until now, he'd never taken the time to put into words what it was he had been doing. Eyes closed, he whispered under his breath,
"I cheated."
After that admission he wasn't able to prevent the torrent that followed.
"Stupid, disgusting, lying, idiot, cheat."
The tears leaked from the corners of his eyes, his body shaking with the effort of trying to keep quiet. Burying his face in his hands, he choked out,
"R-r-ryan.....how could I.......do this to you?"
Taylor's giggling cut through the heavy silence of the hallway and he dragged himself up, grabbing the car keys and letting the front door swing shut with a click.
****
He drove erratically, vision blurred slightly and his head throbbing. His hands twitched constantly at the wheel until he finally decided that killing himself by driving dangerously was not the best option. The familiar looming building of East High appeared to his left and without a second thought, he pulled up at the front steps.
Shifting in his seat he struggled to extract his phone from the pockets of his closely fitting jeans. With a stabbing pain, he remembered the shopping trip with Ryan only week ago. After a heated debate, teasing on his part as he watched Ryan become more and more frustrated, he had agreed to buy the almost indecently tight jeans. He'd changed into them every evening after work since then, finding something comforting in the way the material clung to him when he couldn't spend his nights clinging to Ryan himself.
Chad flicked quickly onto a number so familiar he could probably recite it from memory. He heard the phone ring out until it reached the voicemail message:
"Hey, it's Ryan here, well, I'm not here exactly or I would have picked up your call. Anyway, please leave me a message and I'll call you back as soon as I get it. Have a good day, whoever and wherever you are – "
Before the recording beep could sound, Chad canceled the call and redialed. Again, he heard the phone ring out only this time, and every subsequent time he tried, his call was cut off. Stabbing the number in mechanically, he dialed again and again until the calm, computerised voice informed him that 'this user's phone is switched off.'
He thumped his head repeatedly against the steering wheel, unable to ignore the hollow feeling that had been growing, enveloping him, since Taylor's fateful phone call.
****
Chad barely noticed the days passing, they all blurred together and he often pinched himself to make sure that this was actually happening and wasn't the surreal product of a daydream at work.
Taylor, who barely ever sat still, was constantly rushing in and out of the house. She would return home from work, only rarely bothering to sit down and eat, leave almost instantly and collapse into bed exhausted later. She attended countless doctor's appointments, only sometimes insisting Chad accompany her, but whenever he inquired about the baby's (he found it difficult to think, let alone say the word) progress she would shrug, adding as she pressed a distracted kiss on his cheek,
"Oh, well it's all female stuff, really. You probably don't want to get mixed up in all that, but everything is going fine."
****
A week later, Chad stumbled into the house after a draining day at the office, desperate for some peace and solitude despite the aching memories of Ryan which filled his thoughts if he didn't distract himself quick enough.
He began climbing the stairs, but paused with his foot raised above the bottom step as the sound of voices and a sudden explosion of laughter drifted out into the hallway. Furrowing his brow, he tried to remember if Taylor had mentioned the arrival of any visitors that morning. He pushed open the lounge door and heard Taylor's clear, ringing tone as she announced,
"And here's the man himself! Come in, Chad. Look who's arrived from California."
Glowing with an unsettling orange tinge, Troy waved at Chad from his seat on the sofa and Gabriella floated across the room to embrace him. Chad's spirits had risen inexplicably when he'd first heard the voices; for a moment he had allowed himself to imagine Ryan charming Taylor as he convinced her that their marriage was a mistake. When the stark reality hit, he felt the weight pull him down once again and chastised himself for daring to even hope for a reconciliation between his wife and his.......lover? That word seemed to cheap for Ryan; as if Chad had only used him for sex and nothing more. He began searching for an appropriate label when he realised that three pairs of eyes were fixed on him, waiting for his reaction.
"Er, hi guys, nice of you to pay a surprise visit."
From the corner in which she had settled, Gabriella's tinkling giggle rang out.
"Taylor invited us, Chad. We're staying for a week just to see how she's getting on, and we'll come again when the baby is due."
Chad fought not to show his disappointment and went to sit next to Troy on the sofa, their earlier conversation continuing from where he'd interrupted.
"I've seen some gorgeous baby clothes at a store in our local mall, Tay. Maybe you could visit us sometime soon and we could go shopping together."
"That's a good idea, I might be able to – "
With only half his attention on Taylor and Gabriella's discussion about the qualities of different types of babywear, Troy's voice in his ear still managed to make him jump.
"Well done, man. Congratulations!"
Chad allowed an arm to be wrapped around his shoulders as he stuttered,
"Huh? What – "
"The baby! Well done for......doing that."
Chad almost laughed out loud at the awkwardness with which Troy reconciled Taylor's pregnancy and the physical activities which must have proceeded it, but the bitter taste left in his mouth at the thought of it quelled his sudden burst of humour and he mumbled,
"Yeah, thanks......very exciting, all this...."
He gestured vaguely in Taylor's direction and Troy nodded sagely, tightening his arm uncomfortably around Chad.
****
The week had trickled by at an unreasonably slow pace, despite the fact that every day was filled with an exhausting combination of shopping, restaurants and non stop talk about 'the future of my child,' as Taylor liked to put it. She seemed to be more preoccupied with the idea of being the world's best 'professional mom,' than actually considering the extent to which having a baby would impact her precious career.
Uncorking a bottle of wine in the kitchen, Chad plastered on a smile and carried four glasses into the lounge. Troy called a toast to the 'new parents-to-be' and clapped Chad on the back once again.
"I can't believe it's the end of the week already! I wish we could stay longer, but we'll be back as soon as we can."
Gabriella sighed and added,
"I would be nice to see some of the others next time as well; Sharpay, Ryan.......what happened to them?"
Struggling to find a way to change the subject, Chad looked down at the carpet intently and took a large gulp of wine just as Taylor replied,
"Well, I'm not sure about Sharpay, but Chad saw Ryan recently and – "
She broke off as Chad coughed, choking as he swallowed his wine too quickly. He forced himself not to meet their concerned glances, shrugging out of Troy's reach as he was slapped on the back, and muttered an excuse about getting some fresh air.
Standing on the driveway in the gathering darkness, he felt in his pocket for his phone and, knowing he wouldn't have long, exhaled deeply and dialed the one number he hadn't dared to call 'til now.
****
The phone's ring echoed in the empty hallway for a full minute, until Mrs Evans glided across the tiled floor and picked up the receiver.
"Hello, Darby Evans speaking."
A little taken aback at the sound of Ryan's mother's soft, well spoken voice, Chad paused briefly before throwing all caution to the wind and asking,
"Could I speak to Mr Ryan Evans, please? I'm calling from a casting agency."
"Of course, one moment."
He heard the phone being placed on hall table and footsteps as Mrs Evans went in search of her son. Chad searched desperately for the right way in which to express his feelings, but was still unprepared when the phone was picked up again.
"Hi, this is Ryan Evans. I'm not really looking for any work at the moment, but thanks I – "
"Ryan! It's me, Chad."
The pleasant, business-like tone vanished instantly and was replaced with one much colder.
"What do you want, Danforth? You had no right to call here."
"I know, but Ry, I need to talk to you. I have to explain."
"I don't see anything that needs explaining. From where I'm standing, you cheated on your wife because you felt like trying out something new and completely disregarded the feelings of the person experimented with."
"No, it's not like that.....well, it is....but not in the way you think......"
Mouth dry, Chad struggled to find the right words. Realising that Ryan could hang up at any moment, he blurted out,
"Yes, I did cheat on her, but you weren't an experiment, honestly. What I felt.......what I feel for you is......"
Ryan took advantage of Chad's unfinished sentence to add,
"How could you do that to Taylor?"
"I don't......love her, Ryan, I don't think I ever did properly, even at high school. It's you I – "
" – don't say it. Just......don't."
Ryan cut in, harsh and bitter sounding, but he couldn't hide the tremor as his voice as it shook. Taking a deep breath, audible to Chad on the other end of the line, he steeled himself and spoke again,
"Is she alright, though? She sounded quite frantic on the phone."
"Er.....she's fine, her normal self."
Knowing that he couldn't hide reality behind any more lies, he continued with great effort,
"She's, well.........she's pregnant."
Chad's words reverberated in the heavy silence between them, and he almost missed Ryan's pained whisper.
"You look after that child, Chad..........I have to get away, this is too much..........."
With a clatter the line went dead, but Chad continued standing on the dimly light driveway, the phone still glued to his ear.
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