Disclaimer: Naruto and Sasuke say they want to be mine but Kishimoto is threatening them with a chainsaw T__T.
Naruto walked out of the bathroom when the doorbell rang for the second time. He knew who it was but he still looked through the peephole, hoping that they would just vanish. The Gods didn't hear him because after another minute, they still stood there waiting. Sighing, he opened the door for the two people who were like family to him.
The first thing he saw was Jiraiya, and judging by the grin he showed the younger boy, he was amused. And Tsunade... her eye twitched as she gave him one of her scrutinizing looks.
"Why aren't you dressed yet?" she asked him in a low voice.
"I am dressed!"
"No you are not."
"Yes, I am."
"Which young, wealthy lady wears baggy pants and a hoodie?!" she exclaimed. "Change NOW!"
"Damn old hag, always yelling," he muttered under his breath while digging in his bag with one hand. The other one was occupied with rubbing the back of his head furiously.
Ten minutes later he was properly dressed and locked the door behind him. The car stood right in front of his old apartment building. It was built more than 30 years ago and it certainly didn't look one bit younger. 'Unlike Tsunade. She always tries to hide that she's an old hag,' Naruto thought angrily.
He turned around to the car. Sasuke sat in the backseat, a frown on his now girly face. Naruto was pissed about the situation but he saw no reason why he shouldn't annoy his partner.
Feeling more motivated by the thought of what he could say to his partner, he threw his bags in the trunk, walked towards the door and hopped into the car, joining Sasuke. Oh, how much fun he would have right now.
Grinning, he poked the raven.
"Hey gorgeous. Wanna go out with me?" Naruto asked playfully, a grin spread across his face.
"Shut up. I don't date girls with dicks, drag queen," was the growled response.
"Says the crossdresser."
"Hn." Sasuke turned his head to the right.
"Hmpf." Naruto automatically turned to the left.
They stayed silent for some time. Deciding that it was too silent for his liking, Naruto turned to Tsunade to start a conversation. "Why do we have to drive with you anyway? I could have taken my car."
The blonde woman didn't answer him. Instead, Jiraiya took the opportunity. "How could I miss out all the fun?" He thought for a while. "And I thought that if I drive with you boys, I would have more chances to look at the cute girls."
As Naruto sent him an accusing look, he tried to defend himself.
"Come on, I'm an author! I need inspiration. Besides, I don't want to be the reason for my publisher's death, you know?" Naruto continued to look at him. "Don't look at me like that!"
"You are an old perverted man. But I guess you already know that." The old man never took anything serious, but he never failed to light the mood. 'Pretty much like Santa Claus. A very perverted Santa Claus, to be exact.' Naruto grinned at the new deep insight. It probably wouldn't be all that bad when he took it humorously.
Leaning back in his seat, he stayed silent for the rest of the ride, thinking about how he could make his stay at the all-girls University fun.
"201... 203... 205!" Naruto counted while racing down the hallway. "Found it!" The other three people met up with him in front of the big wooden door.
"Well, then. Let's get it over with so that Jiraiya and I can leave." Tsunade pushed the door open and looked around. Jiraiya grinned. Naruto gaped.
Sasuke blinked. "Abso-fucking-lutely not. I refuse." He said fiercely and turned on his heels. Tsunade grabbed him by the collar and dragged him into the room, closing the door when everyone was inside.
The poor boys had never seen a room that was furnished girlier than theirs. Light rose wallpaper with golden swirls adorned the wall, matching the curtains in front of the large window. One white canopy bed stood on each wall near the window, little bedside tables in the same color beside it. Just like the beds, the wardrobes, desks and makeup stands were also white. The white parquet didn't make it one bit better.
Naruto gulped. "At least we have our own bathroom?" he asked no one in particular. It was more to make himself see the bright side of the situation.
No one made an attempt to look into the bathroom. Everyone had seen enough for one day.
If Sasuke wouldn't have been an Uchiha, people could have thought that he actually pouted. Uchihas didn't pout, though.
"We'll leave now so that you can adapt to the room and the school. If you have any questions, feel free to ask the principal. She's an old acquaintance of mine and she knows about your situation. If you forgot anything at home, call me and I'll stop by. Also, try to make friends and ask about the murders without attracting too much attention, in case that the murderer can hear about it. That's also why you won't tell anyone your true identity, got it? Oh, and don't forget that your names are Naruko and Sasuko from today on," she finished.
Leaving the boys alone in their new room, she shut the door and managed to drag Jiraiya to her car without letting him drool over all the girls.
An hour, one quarrel and some disgusted noises later, they sat down on their beds, looking at each other.
"This room is disgusting. Do girls really like to live like this?"
"This school is disgusting. Girls are predators in cute disguise."
"Sasuke... You are afraid of girls?" Naruto asked, his eyes wide.
"Baka! Why would I be afraid of them? They are just annoying." He leaned back in an attempt to lean his back against the wall. The wall was too far away, though, and his head was introduced rather violently to the wall as he toppled over backward. He hissed.
Naruto grinned gleefully at the raven. "Let's just go get something to eat. I'm starving." He frowned as he thought hard. "Do you think they have ramen here?"
"No, dobe. Ramen isn't good enough for the rich ladies."
The piercing shriek that followed those fatal words could be heard throughout the campus, making the girls shiver.
Naruto complained when they walked out of the room, when they trotted down the long hallways and only stopped his rambling about why the world needs ramen when they finally sat down to eat.
"I guess it isn't that bad... but still not as good as ramen. Remember me to buy instant ramen when we go to the city next time," he muttered under his breath.
"Instant Ramen?"
They turned their heads to look at the girl who spoke to them. She had pink shoulder-length hair and unbelievably green eyes. Naruto's jaw went slack when he looked at her. "What is instant ramen?" she asked them curiously.
"You seriously don't know what instant ramen is?!" Naruto hollered a bit too manly. Sasuke glared at him and he cleared his voice to speak on, higher now. "Instant noodles. You add hot, boiled water to the cup of noodles and wait for a few minutes. You can eat them afterwards. It's the best thing in the whooole world." He exclaimed, his arms swinging around.
She smiled at the blonde 'girl'. "I've never seen anything like that. Can I try it when you make it?"
Naruto beamed at her. "Sure! Just come over then, I and her..." He pointed at Sasuke. "...live in room 205."
"Oh, that's really nice." She turned her head and yelled. "INO! Come over here."
A blonde girl walked over and stopped in front of them. "What is it, forehead-girl?" She asked with a cocky smirk on her full lips.
"What did you call me, Ino-pig?!" she shrieked outraged, rolling up her sleeves.
"Nothing," she hastily said, obviously worried about the other girl rolling her sleeves up.
The pinkette seemed to calm down a little bit. "Those girls here said there is a thing called 'instant noodles!" She said.
"Instant noodles?" The blonde cocked an eyebrow.
"Yeah! You just need to add boiled water and then you can eat it. Freaky, isn't it?"
Sasuke and Naruto looked dumbfounded at the two girls in front of them, not knowing what the hell was wrong with them to go all crazy about the idea of instant noodles.
The pink-haired girl turned around again. "Can we sit here?" She asked sweetly. Naruto nodded.
"Oh, how impolite of me. I haven't introduced myself! I'm Haruno Sakura. And this is..." She pointed at the blonde girl who sat down beside her. "…Yamanaka Ino-pig."
'Ino-pig' twitched, but kept quite.
Naruto still smiled at Sakura. 'It wouldn't be too surprising if he begins drooling in a few seconds,' Sasuke thought angrily. 'Wait...angry?' He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.
"My name is Naruko. And this is Sasuko," Naruto said, nudging Sasuke.
"Nice to meet you," the pinkette replied.
And with that, the first week of University began for the two boys, who were unsuspecting of what was to come.
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