After Jerry dropped me off I went up to my room. Jerry stayed long enough to talk with Evelyn, Angel and Bobby. I didn't want to talk about it. I was tired of thinking about because it hurt more. So I sat up in my room for the next two hours cleaning. All that was interrupted by a loud knock at my door. I knew who it was. I sighed and flung the door open.
"Jack." I said solemnly. He dropped his head and sighed.
"Can we talk?" he asked. I looked at him for a minute and nodded.
"Talk." I told him. He just stared at me.
"You're not gonna invite me in?" he asked incredulously.
"Why should I?" I asked crossing my arms.
"Emilie, just let me come in." he begged. I sighed and pushed the door open. I walked over to my bed and he followed.
"Talk." I said again as he sat next to me. He rubbed his head and looked over at me.
"I'm sorry." he apologized.
"For what?" I asked casually looking at my nails.
"You know for what, Em. For letting you leave and fucking around with Lydia." he told me. I nodded.
"Ok." Was all I said. He stared at me again.
"That's it. Ok?" he said surprised.
"What do you want me to do?" I asked standing up.
"Yell, scream, cry or even hit me! I know you're hurting, Emilie. Show it." he told me. I laughed and walked over to my desk and picked up my brush.
"Why so you can mock me more?" I asked cynically.
"Why would I mock you?" he asked walking over to me.
"Why wouldn't you? You had no problem doing it earlier." I yelled.
"I wasn't mocking you, Em. I was an idiot and an ass. I'm sorry." he said softly. I tried to walk away but he grabbed my arms. "Talk to me, please." he begged. I looked up at him with tears in my eyes.
"You did mock me. And worse, you did it in front and because of her." I cried. He held my in place and leaned down a little. "You'd rather be with the girl that cheats on you than the girl that actually gives a damn about you."
"I'm sorry, Em. I really am." he said softly and pulled me to his chest. I wrapped my arms around him and cried.
"It hurt, Jack. As if I didn't feel like a nuisance before, now I feel worse." I told him. He pushed me back and looked at me.
"You never need to feel like a nuisance with me. I just had a lapse of judgement today. I hope you can forgive me?" he asked looking at me. I sniffed and caught his gaze.
"Of course, but you can't keep doing this to me or yourself." I told him. He smiled and pulled me in for another hug. I laid my head on his chest and sighed.
"I know. I really don't know what came over me." he whispered. I smirked and looked up at him.
"Her hand is what came over you." I told him. He rolled his eyes and pulled my head to his chest.
"Okay, so Lydia wasn't the best move I've made." he admitted. I laughed and agreed.
"Ya think?" I asked sarcastically.
"I broke up with her." he told me. "I'm a free man now." he smiled.
"You're not a man, you're a boy." I teased.
"Oh so you're gonna talk smack? I'd like you to know that I am all man." he declared. I pulled away from him and walked to the door.
"And that's why Bobby calls you a fairy?" I laughed and tried to leave. He grabbed mm by my waist from behind and pulled my back to his chest.
"You'll pay for that." he whispered. I wiggled in his grasp but he held me to him. I squealed as he threw me over his shoulder.
It finally started to feel like Emilie was trusting me again. I hadn't talked to Lydia since that fateful day and I was proud of it. And to make sure I avoided her I made my band change practicing areas. Not that they minded.
"So Jack, when you gonna bed that girl?" Troy asked. I looked over at my drummer confused.
"What girl?" I asked. Troy and our bassist, James, laughed at me.
"You know what girl. Emilie." James told me. I glared at them and turned back to my guitar.
"It's not like that. And even if it was she's too young." I reminded them.
"Only four years." Troy told me. I shook my head.
"Still she's not even 18 yet. I'd prefer not to go to jail." I told them setting my guitar down and picking up my sheet music.
"She'll be 18 in, what, three weeks?" James asked. "Dude, if you don't mark her for yourself, someone else will." he told me.
"Yeah, man. In three weeks, ya girl is free game." Troy laughed. I dropped my music and stood up.
"She's not 'free game' and she's not like that. And if I catch anyone of you bozo's looking or touching her, I'll kill you." I warned them.
"Dude, we won't poach." Troy told me seriously. I sighed and turned around to them.
"There's nothing to poach. She's just..." I paused thinking of something to say.
"To good for us?" James offered. I snapped my fingers at him.
"No offense but yes. She's classier than that." I told them. They laughed and stared at me.
"You've got it bad." Troy declared. I rolled my eyes and picked my guitar up.
"I have nothing." I told them.
"Dude, it's just us. We know you have something for her and not just friendship." James prodded. I turned to them and thought for a minute.
"She's different." I said softly. They smiled and pulled me into a chair. James handed me a beer and I laughed. "So I guess you want to act like Oprah?" I joked.
"Spill your heart honey." Troy laughed. I opened my beer and took a swig.
"Emilie's, not like other girls. She was in foster care but didn't get the bad brunt of it. She just lost her family. Her parents left her and she was adopted by a great family. Then they were killed and her brother was taken away. Now she lost Abigail. She's been through so much in so little time." I told them. They nodded and listened intently.
"But she was never abused like you?" Troy asked. I shook my head.
"She said there were a few slaps but nothing like me." I told them. "She's afraid of getting too close. Everyone she's let in has been taken away. It never fails." I said softly.
"She told you all this?" James asked. I nodded and took another sip of my beer.
"Yep. How did I manage to get hooked on a 17 year old chick?" I laughed.
"You think there is something there?" Troy asked. I thought for a moment and looked at him.
"Sometimes, yeah. But we never and probably won't speak of it." I told them.
"Why?" they asked in unison. I laughed and leaned forward on my knees.
"We just can't. It like we know there is something deeper but we can't say it. We can't go for it." I explained.
"Why? It's right there. She'll be legal soon." James asked confused.
"You can't get into a relationship until you can have one with yourself. I know she's scared. I'm scared. I can't hold someone's heart until I know I can hold anything. She has to come to terms with herself and the fate she thinks she has." I told them. They nodded and looked at me.
"You got it bad." They told me again. I laughed and nodded my head.
"I guess I do." I agreed.
Maybe I did have some sort of feelings for Emilie. Even if I did, I could never act on them. Could I? She had been through too much already. I was never the most trust worthy guy. I know the minute I'd tell her I had feelings for her, I would somehow fuck it up. It never failed. I was a fuck up and the pool hall incident with Lydia was a perfect example. I could never make her happy. Hell, I could barely make me happy.
I had three weeks until I turned 18. I could not believe I was almost there. Every time I though about it I got happy, sad, excited, scared and happy all over again. It was flood of emotions. Happy because I would be legal. Sad because Abigail missed it. Excited because I knew they were going to throw me a kick ass party. And scared because I didn't know where or what I would do. I didn't want to leach off of Evelyn forever but I didn't have anywhere to go. Abigail never let me get a job because it made her feel like I didn't need her. Plus I knew I had a place with her. I was just unsure of everything now.
"Emilie!" Evelyn called from the kitchen. I stood up and walked into the kitchen. She was leaning over the stove cooking dinner.
"Yeah?" I asked walking over to the counter. She looked over and huffed.
"Thank god. I thought you were gone too." she sighed. I smiled and shook my head.
"What do ya need?" I asked. She walked over to the fridge and pulled out a tiny box.
"I need one more of these. It's manicotti cheese. Think you can run down the street and get me another box?" she asked sweetly. I grabbed the cheese and looked at it.
"Yeah. The one on the corner of 5th and Jefferson, right?" I asked. She nodded and went back tot he oven when it beeped. I was slowly getting to know my way around the city.
"Yes, that's the one. And pick up a thing of mushrooms too." she told me. I grabbed my purse and started to walk out. "Oh get a twenty out my purse." I stopped and turned back around. I grabbed her wallet and pulled out the bill.
"Okay. I'll be back later." I called and walked out the door. I made my way down the hot Detroit streets. I didn't see how people down south dealt with all this heat. I mean it was scorching up here so it must be unbearable down there. Luckily, Evelyn had taken me shopping for some new summer clothes. They actually had a few nice stores in the good part of Detroit. Today I was wearing a pair of tan shorts with a white tank top that had a US Marine's logo on it. I got it for Angel and his soon to be departure from the US.
"Hey!" someone yelled behind me. I kept walking thinking they were talking to someone else. Excuse me!" they yelled again. I turned to see a girl running after me.
"Can I help you?" I asked. She came to a stop in front of me and smiled.
"No. But I can help you." she breathed. She reached in her pocket and pulled out a twenty. I felt in my pockets and got nothing.
"Oh my god. Thank you!" I thanked her and took the bill from her. She smiled and brushed her hair back.
"I saw you drop it. You seemed to be in your own little world there." she said. I nodded.
"When I think, I think deep." I laughed. She smiled and stuck her hand out.
"I'm Paisley." she greeted. I grabbed her hand and shook it.
"I'm Emilie. You live around here?" I asked. She nodded and pointed down the street I came from.
"I live off of Newberry." she told me.
"Oh I live on Massey." I smiled. "I'm going to the store, you wanna come?" I offered. She nodded and we started walking.
"My brother is in a band with a guy that lives on Massey." she laughed.
"Yeah. I just moved here a couple months ago. I'm staying with a family friend and her boys." I said as we walked. She looked over at me and smiled.
"You live with the Mercer's don't you?" she asked. I looked at her confused and nodded.
"Yeah. How did you know?" I asked. She smiled again.
"My brother is in Jack's band. He talks about you all the time." she informed me. I blushed a little and looked at her.
"Really?" I asked.
"My god, yes. He's non stop about you. I guess it's you I should thank for making him leave Lydia." she laughed. I laughed with her and nodded.
"I didn't do it on purpose but yeah." I said. We walked into the store and walked to the cooled section. "I need manicotti cheese and mushrooms." I said out loud.
"The cheese is over there. I'll get the mushrooms for you." she said and walked off.
'So he does think about you.' a voice popped in my head.
'So it doesn't mean he likes her.' another voice chimed in.
'But isn't it obvious. He so likes you.' the first said.
'So what if he does? He's too old for her.' the second reminded us.
'She'll be legal soon. Then she will be free to jump his bones.' the first laughed.
"I will not jump his bones." I said out loud. I heard laughing and turned to see Paisley smiling.
"Who's bones are you not jumping?" she asked amused. "No better yet, who were you talking to?"
"You'd call me looney if I told you." I smiled. She shook her head and we walked to the check-out.
"So have you heard Jack's band play yet?" she asked as we walked out. I thought for a moment and frowned.
"No, I haven't." I told her.
"Well, if you want we can drop this off at your place and we can go check them out at practice?" she offered. I bit my lip.
"Well, maybe he doesn't want me to see them play? I've heard him play alone but I wonder why he hasn't asked before." I wondered.
"James has been gone for a few weeks. So they had a short hiatus. I'm sure he won't mind." she smiled. I sighed and let a grin form on my face. "You know you want too." she pressed.
"Alright, but let's drop this off." I told her. She smiled and we made our way to my house.
"Evelyn?"I called as I opened the door.
"Kitchen." she called back. I walked with Paisley into the kitchen and set the bags on the counter. She turned around and went to turn back but she saw my new friend.
"Well, hello. It's nice to see a new face." she greeted. Paisley stepped forward and stuck out her hand.
"I'm Paisley, Mrs. Mercer." she introduced. Evelyn wiped her hands off and shook her hand.
"Please, call me Evelyn. It's nice to meet you." she smiled and looked over at me.
"I dropped my money and she gave it back. Her brother is in Jack's band." I told her. Evelyn lit up and looked back at Paisley.
"Ahh you must be Troy's little sister." she said.
"Yes, unfortunately." Paisley laughed. I stepped up and smiled.
"She was wanting to take me to see them practice. Is that okay?" I asked. She smiled and patted my cheek.
"Of course. Jack will be there and his band mates are nice guys. Just be careful and don't be late." she told me. I smiled and walked to the front door.
"So where do they practice at?" I asked as we walked down my street.
"A little in town so we're taking the bus." she told me. We stopped at the bus stop and waited for a few minutes. I had never taken a bus before but it wasn't that bad. There were a few freaky people sitting in the very back but they stayed to themselves.
"So are you seeing anyone?" Paisley asked.
"No. Haven't had the time to meet anyone since I've been here." I told her.
"Jack said you were from Massachusetts, right?" she asked. I nodded and looked out the window.
"I lived in Salem, them Cambridge and in Boston for a little while." I said.
"Do you like Detroit so far?" she asked. I looked at her and smiled.
"Yeah. It seems pretty nice. Everyone talks about all the crime but it's been good to me so far." I laughed. We were on the bus for a bout 10 minutes until Paisley pulled the string to get off. We stepped off and walked a few blocks until she stopped at a big brick building.
"This is it. Jack moved them here after the Lydia incident." she laughed. I smiled and followed her in. "They have the last room at the end of the hallway." she told me.
We walked down and I heard the faint sound of his guitar. I smiled as we got closer. Paisley looked back at me and slowly pushed the door open. We snuck in and leaned against the wall as they played. I watched Jack as he strummed his guitar and sang into the microphone. He was in his own little world. None of them had noticed that we were there. I could already tell who was Paisley's brother. They had that same bright blonde hair and eyes. The drummer had dark hair and eyes. They were good. Paisley's brother, the bassist, sang back up to Jack. But Jack was so much better. His usual deep and raspy voice has turned into a silky one. It was better than the little song he sang to me that one night.
The sudden stop of the music snapped me from my thoughts. I looked up and saw Jack ginning at me. I wasn't sure when it popped up or how long it was there, but I found myself smiling back.
We were about to end the song when I saw someone out the corner of my eye. I looked over to the door and saw Emilie and Paisley standing there. She caught my stare and smiled. It was contagious.
"Hey." I greeted and set my guitar down. She pushed herself off the wall and walked over.
"Hey. You guys sounded good." she told me. I smiled and looked back at the guys who were grinning like crazy.
"Guys this is Emilie. Em, this is Troy and James. I see you've already met Troy's sister Paisley." I said. She smiled and the guys and nodded.
"We ran into each other on my way to the store. It came out that we had a connection through the band and we asked if I wanted to see you practice." she told me.
"Being that she's never seen you guys play." Paisley piped up. I glared at her and looked back at Emilie.
"So we sounded good?" I asked. She smiled and looked up at me.
"Yes. You sounded amazing." she laughed.
"See? We are amazing. I like this chick." Troy said wrapping an arm around her. I gave him a glare that only he would understand. He grinned and dropped his limb. James laughed in the background and walked up.
"Well, it is very nice to finally meet the girl that has Jack jabbering about." he told her. She raised her brow and smiled at me.
"Well, it's nice to meet the band that he never talks about." she laughed.
"So I hate to do this but we gotta get going. Troy here still lives at home and we have dinner." Paisley said walking up behind Emilie.
"Well, it was nice to meet you." Emilie smiled and hugged her.
"Same here. Call me and we'll hang out." Paisley said as she and Troy walked out. James patted my shoulder and stood next to me.
"Jack, I'll see you tomorrow. Emilie, hopefully I'll see you more so Jack will shut up." he laughed. I rolled my eyes.
"I don't talk about her that much." I sighed. James laughed and walked away.
"Yes, you do!" he yelled. I shook my head and turned around to Emilie. She had a knowing grin of her face and had the slightest blush. This made those freaking voices come back.
'She likes it.' the first one said.
'Would you shut up!' the civilized one said.
'She knows you were talking about her and she likes it. She's praying for you the make the next move. Look at her! She wants it.' the first yelled. I shook both from my head and sat on the amp.
"So you like Paisley?" I asked. She smiled and sat in a chair across from me.
"She's nice. It's kinda funny that we met like that and we already knew the same people." she smiled. She looked over at the recoding equipment and back at me. "Do you guys ever play shows?" she asked.
"Yeah. We haven't lately but now that we're back we will." I told her. She nodded and smiled at me.
"I'd like to see you play." she said. I grinned and looked away.
"You will." I promised. "Can you sing?" I asked. She looked away and I sighed. "You said you'd tell me later. Talk to me." I asked softly.
"I loved to sing and dance when I was little. Charlotte would always enroll me in plays and classes. The night they died me and Richie had a play. It was 'Hey Diddle, Diddle.' I had my big solo part where I sang the poem. When the time came, I stepped into the spotlight. I looked for my parents but I didn't see them." she stopped to wiped tears off her face. " I saw the police walking down the aisle and talking to my teacher. She grabbed me off stage and ended the play. I haven't sang or danced since." she cried. I grabbed her hands and pulled her over to me. I pulled her into my lap and held her to my chest.
"I'm sorry, Em." I whispered. She pulled back after a few minutes. I held her on my lap as she looked at me. I let my eyes roam her face. From her bright blue eyes, to her tiny nose, down to her full pink lips. I let them fall on her lips and then slowly looked up at her.
"Jack..." she whispered. I leaned in and pulled her to me. Our lips barely touched when the door burst open. She jumped off and took a few steps back as we looked to the door. I sighed when I saw the old janitor. He hadn't even seen us. He was busy mopping the floor with his headphones on.
"Harold!" I yelled. His head popped up and smiled.
"Sorry, Jack. I'll come back later." he said and walked out. I rubbed my face and looked over at Emilie.
"Sorry. He's old. He tries to start cleaning early. Management hates it." I laughed lightly. She nodded and smiled.
"We should probably get back. Evelyn was cooking when I left." she said softly. I nodded and stood up. She started to walk away when I grabbed her arm.
"Em, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that." I mumbled. She put a hand on my chest and smiled up at me.
"It's ok, Jack." she whispered. I nodded and followed her out.
"What was Ma cooking?" I asked as we sat on the bus.
"I think some kinda of cheese pasta. I'm not too sure." she told me. I nodded and looked out the window.
I could not believe I had tired to kiss her. Well, kinda did kiss her. After all the crap I gave to James and Troy I go and do this. But she said it was ok. What did that mean? Did she not mind that I tried? Or did she forgive me? I hate women. I'm pretty sure that hate us but damn. Why did everything have to be so confusing? We rode the rest of the way home in silence. It wasn't a uncomfortable silence but a silence because there was nothing to say. We got home and Ma had cooked a cheese chicken pasta. Emilie adored it.
About ten that night I decided to go lay down. It wasn't long before I fell asleep but I was awoken by a soft knock on my door. I sat up and looked at my door. I saw it open slightly and saw Emilie standing there in her night dress. I shivered and forced my eyes not to move down past her face.
"Jack." she whispered.
"What's wrong, Em?" I asked sleepily. She shut the door and walked over to my bed.
"I can't sleep." she whispered. I moved over closer to the wall and patted the empty side of the bed. She laid down and faced me. "I saw it." she whispered.
"Saw what?" I asked.
"The night my parents died. I saw on stage and the lights were shining. I just froze. I knew something had happened." she cried. I pulled her to my bare chest and kissed her head.
"It's okay. You're fine now." I whispered.
She sighed and relaxed after a few minutes. I looked down and saw her eyes closed. I closed my eyes and moved on my back. I froze when she shifted but she only moved closer to me. I smirked and watched her lay her head on my chest and sigh again. I kissed her head and kept on arm around her. I'm not sure where my self-control came from but it was on overdrive that night. Any other time a girl was on my bed I would have tried anything even if it got me slapped. But not tonight. I respected her and I knew better. She was still underage and she still had too many demons. Maybe one day...