Are we there yet?

Summary: We all know that Bella hates shopping and the Cullens ways of driving fast . So what happens when Alice makes Bella go shopping with herself,Emmett,Jasper and Edward. Will she get out of it? Or will she finally get the Cullens to drive at a Bella pace.

A/n Gay bar won but I still like the idea of speed dating so I'm going to add that in a later chapter. :) This chapter is not intended to offend anyone and is not a mick take at people it may affect. I'm hoping I'm not going to get any flames for this chapter if I do I shall be blaming people who voted for this one xD. On a last serious note in simple terms. I am not slagging off or trying to offend Gays okay.

Also a big thank you to BellaCullen33, SoCalGurl101 and XTopazXEyedXVampireX for reviewing lots and lots of my chapters whenever I update. Also people who have fave'd me as an author or this story. I love you guys :) I mean it.

Disclaimer silly business now:

Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and any characters from it

If I did own it I would be being forced into frequent shopping trips with Alice

Are we there yet?

"Perfect then were ready"

Alice's face turned into a very similar one of a psychopathic serial killer.

EMPOV

What have I ever done to any of my family to deserve this. Before I could even contemplate a way out of this mess two pairs of hands pushed me into the entrance of the building that was stood in front of us. Damn it why do I never pay attention to small things like what the building was. I stood up and was about to open the doors to the strange place when a bright pink flyer caught my eye.

Oh no. This is not happening to me. No.No.No.

Vinnie's G.a.y Bar

Open 6:00 – 6:00 every day

Jobs Available

Apply within

I AM NOT GAY

"Come on Emmett, if you want to get back to Forks by next decade"

I turned around to face stupid Edwards smirking face accompanied by Bella and a video recorder. I shuddered at the possibility's back home.

"Urghh fine"

I pushed open the double doors in front of me and walked into a darkly lit area with tables everywhere and a bar. There was music sounding from large speakers and lots of men everywhere.

As soon as I entered everyone in the club turned round.

Shit

Bella and Edward giggled behind me.

"Don't even say anything Edward, and you Bella"

So all I had to do was stay here for 30 minutes and then I could go out. I can handle this. I'm a vampire for god's sake. Cool it Emmett, cool.

Beep

"Well hello gorgeous, new here?"

Oh no.

I turned around to become face to face with a small bearded man tapping me on the shoulder. He was wearing a pink top that was obviously too tight for him and white crop trousers.

"Urm yeah"

"Oh your so butch, and look at them muscles, they're too die for. Although I think you need to get that make-up off it doesn't suit your face shape. I'd go for more darker colours."

"Thanks, and who are you"

"Oh I forgot your new darling I'm Vinnie owner of this bar here"

"Oh that's urm..interesting"

"Oh relax darling, your so uptight and tense, come on I'll show you around and make you feel at home"

Before I could even protest a syllable the little 'gay' man dragged me off over to a sofa in the corner of the bar. Waving and blowing kisses to the occasional man.

I feel physically sick.

I sat down on the cream leather sofa. Uncomfortably. 'Vinnie' put his hand into mine and pulled me closer to him.

"Now darling you never told me your name"

"Its Emmett"

"Oh your so manly, I need a good man like you in my life"

He started to stroke his hand against my leg.

Ewwwww

Do I really look gay?

"Oh ... right"

"Oh come on relax, were all gay here there's nothing to be ashamed of"

I didn't respond

"Ohhh, you've never come out of yourself before have you?Don't worry we've all been there before its nothing to be embarrassed about"

If only he knew.

It must have been 30 minutes now. I don't care I can't stand this any more.

"I'm .. urm .. going to go now"

"Already? Come on I'll buy you a drink on the house?"

"I'd rather not"

"Your not trying to get rid of me are you? If you I can have you thrown out of this club in a matter of seconds you know"

Vinnie was stood up now with his hands on his hips waiting for me to answer him. Oh how stereotypical this man was.

"Of course I'm not ... urm I just ... need to do something"

"Your not gay are you?

"What, of course I am ... darling"

"Your not I can see it"

I was going to have to go where no straight man has gone before. Touch a gay man intimately. After this charade I was gonna need a whole lot of body wash.

"Ohhh Vinnie, don't be like that"

I stroked my hand down his arm, following down his waist.

"It's just I need to buy a parking ticket for my car"

"Oh. Well why didn't you say so in the first place. Of course your gay."

The next move surprised me a lot. Did he actually buy that crap?

He stood up on his tiptoes and whispered in my ear

"Don't stay away too long"

Now how was I going to get out of this now?

...

"EMMETT MCCARTY CULLEN"

Shit

--

My first sort of Cliffie haha xD

Who is the mysterious person that is calling Emmett? Can you guess??

I know who it is, not to brag :D Well my head does anyway

Anyway s as usual reviews please and I hope that this chapter hasn't offended anyone.

Ideas for future chapters welcome :)

Also

I am thinking of starting a new fic expect from this one would you rather me write another humour/silly one or a serious one.