Another "combo" chapter - enjoy and thanks to you all!

Patient – Sohma Ayame; Session # 78

Without a doubt, my favorite sessions are with Ayame. At first, I thought I wouldn't be able to stand him, but as it turned out, he ended up giving me hope and driving me on. In a way, I guess I should begrudge him for instilling in me such false faith in our family. Yet, as his sessions tend to be my only truly pleasant ones, I can't resent him all that much. Besides, as I saw it, although under the zodiac curse, Ayame did not live a cursed life; in any case, he certainly didn't seem affected by it. If he could do it through approaching his problems in a positive way, I reasoned, the others could maybe do it as well. Then, they would finally be freed from all their misery and suffering and, instead, embrace life and begin living it to the fullest. So, for me, my sessions with Ayame became learning experiences, as I tried to figure out what made him so special, what he was doing so differently, that he could be freed of such terrible torment.

"Oh, I just wish Yuki was just more receptive toward me!" Ayame exclaimed dramatically.

"Yeah, me too…" I mumbled, unhappily recalling my last session with his younger sibling.

"But I don't know what else I can do, Kazuki. I mean, honestly, the more I try to get closer to him, the further it seems I push him away. It's just so terribly tragic…"

"I know it must be frustrating for you, Ayame, but I think, for the most part, you're handling the situation in a positive way. Perhaps, though, you might want to consider giving him a little bit of space, because, at his age, he might feel as if you're being a bit too clingy."

"Oh, to be seventeen again! Yes, I know how it can be. I certainly would have wanted to be left alone."

"That's good that you're beginning to see things from his perspective. It shows you're beginning to be considerate of other people's feelings, like we've been discussing."

"Still, I can't take it anymore! My poor, sweet, little brother wants nothing to do with me! It's my fault, I know, for abandoning him like I did, but I want to help him now! How can I make him see that?"

"I think he'll slowly begin to see that with time, as long as you continue to make yourself available to him when he needs you. As for strengthening your brotherly bond, well, I think that maybe you should try to look at things from his point of view."

"Hmm?" Ayame looked over at me with curiosity and hopeful eyes.

"What I mean is, for example, typically it seems you invite him to come over to your shop. However, from what I gather, your shop makes him feel uncomfortable. So, perhaps, you can find out what he likes or what his interests are, and you two can have an outing there instead."

"Oh, yes! That's a brilliant idea!" He beamed, but soon his expression dropped slightly, "But, when I go to visit him at Shigure's home, he seems just as miserable to see me! Surely that's a place that he should feel comfortable at!"

"In that case, I would say that the problem is not that you're visiting him at his home, but that you go over without asking if it's all right for you to come by for a visit. He might be busy with something else but then feels obligated to spend time with you because you invite yourself over without asking."

"Why, that's what Ha'ri says!" Ayame declared with much excitement. "And that's surely something I can fix!"

"I'm sure you'll be able to fix it, as well."

Ayame continued to grin, "Oh, Kazuki, I am so very grateful to you! With your help, I can feel Yuki and I growing closer every day! And I believe I'm really starting to get the hang of all this being considerate of other people's feelings thing! Really, I am!"

"Yes, well, I'm afraid I'm going to cut things short, as I wasn't expecting you to barge in, since you weren't scheduled…" I awkwardly trailed off.

"I'm so sorry about that, dear Kazuki, really I am! But I just needed to talk to you and it couldn't wait till tomorrow! I mean, if I didn't, I wouldn't have realized how important it is for me to start being more considerate of people's feelings!"

I let out a laugh at the irony of it all, and said, "It's all right, Ayame. We'll continue talking about this at your session tomorrow, that's all." (An appointment, I suppose I should note, he failed to show up for.)

"Certainly! Certainly!" Ayame said theatrically, rising to his feet and gliding his hand through his silver hair. As he approached the door, he reminded me, "Oh, and don't forget to tell your wonderful mother I say hello!"

"I will," I assured him. It seemed as if Ayame and my mother had become rather good friends over the years while I was away; in any case, their personalities were rather compatible.

"And that I'll be sure to come by sometime," he added. In the doorway, he gave a wave of his hand and said, "Ta ta for now!" He didn't bother closing the door behind him.

I sat back and wondered if I had really managed to make much progress with Ayame. Sure, his life seemed to be going well, and he was working on trying to be considerate and less selfish, but he still tended to be rather self-absorbed. At the same time, he did try to genuinely reach out to his brother and cared for his friends. It seemed, in the end, that by truly loving himself he was able to positively show affection for others. In any event, he certainly wasn't controlled by Akito, as far as I could tell, anyway. He was independent and free-thinking, albeit a bit too emotional and not very logical. Despite this, he was happy. At least, I know that I (nor do I think him) would never think of describing him as cursed

Patient – Sohma Hatori; Session #96

"Why is it that you feel the need to obey Akito like you do?" I suddenly questioned. I was surprised I even said it, and I could tell immediately that Hatori was surprised I had brought it up, as well. I suppose, though, that as it has been on my mind so much, it was bound to slip out eventually.

"Excuse me?" Hatori asked.

I could tell he was hoping I'd withdraw my question, but upon thinking about it, it was a good question and definitely worth asking. After all, the jyuunishi's bizarre Akito worshiping seemed to be the key to many of their problems. Furthermore, it didn't take a degree from either Oxford or from Harvard to make me quite aware that it was unhealthy for any person to idolize another person to the extent wherehe surrendered allhis decision making powers to her. In fact, it seemed to me that our family had all the makings of a bona fide cult, complete with brainwashing and all. So, I repeated, "Why is it that you feel the need to obey Akito like you do?"

"I don't understand the meaning of your question," Hatori simply answered.

"How come you don't get angry at Akito, for instance? Or how come you always turn to Akito for permission when you're a grown man?" I knew my questions were too severe; I was becoming argumentative, something which I should have been avoiding.

Hatori (who always sat on the couch and never lied down) shifted uneasily just for a brief moment, before coolly saying, "Because she is the head of the Sohma family and deserves our respect."

"But often times Akito makes bad decisions, don't you think?"

"No."

"Not at all?"

"No."

I gritted my teeth; the man was as hard as a rock when he wanted to be, and I could tell he was getting perturbed. Yet, despite my professional instincts not to, I pursued it further, "What about with Kana then? You don't think Akito made any bad decisions in regards to that situation?"

Hatori swallowed hard, trying his best to remain composed. "No, Akito did nothing wrong."

"So she was right to blame Kana then?"

"We've already discussed this before; it was my fault."

Sighing, I remarked grumpily, "Yes, we have discussed this before, but I remember I came to a different conclusion…"

"I don't find this sort of interrogation very appropriate," Hatori commented coldly.

Inhaling deeply, I had no choice but to agree; "I'm sorry, you're right." With a struggle, I forced myself to return to my pleasant, professional demeanor, "However, speaking of Kana, while we've been working to help you move past the experience, at the same time, I think there's a lesson to be learned from it."

"Oh?" Hatori stared at me with his cold eyes. I could tell he didn't want to hear what I had to say; he never wanted to hear what I had to say.

"Well, I think," I hesitated before I went on, "I think maybe it shows that sometimes, even though it might be difficult, we have to stand up for ourselves and for what we believe is right. You see, I understand that you feel this need to obey Akito despite your own feelings and desires, but I think that in order to grow as a person and to find true happiness, you need to – huh?"

Hatori had stood up and was walking across the office toward the door. "I think this session is over."

"But I'm not finished – " I protested.

"I am," he stated sharply but retained that low, calm voice of his. He then closed the door harshly behind him.

With a sigh, I took the notes I had been writing and helplessly threw them in the air, the papers scattering on my desk and the surrounding area as I reclined in my chair. Despite all my attempts, I still failed to make any progress.