Thanks again, everyone! I really appreciate that you take the time to read my work!
Well, next is Shigure...admittedly, this part was a little odd to write. For the most part, I'm more familiar with anime Shigure than I am with manga Shigure (as strange as it is, I think of them as almost two separate characters, but can you blame me, lol?). However, obviously, for the purposes of this story, I had to adhere to the manga interpretation of his character. Therefore, I hope that when I wrote this session I did a decent job in my portrayal of Shigure. Of course, I'll let you all decide! Let me know how I did!
Enjoy (well, as much as you can at any rate...)!
Patient – Sohma Shigure; Session #36
Only minutes after Akito left me, my office an absolute mess and me standing there dumbfounded, did Shigure come strolling in for his appointment (reflecting back, it was as if he planned the whole thing).
"Why good afternoon, Kazuki," he greeted me as he came, adding with a sly smirk. "Well, it sure looks like Akito made quite a mess, doesn't it?"
I couldn't take my eyes off him. Yes, I know it's wrong to judge a patient, but my human shortcomings made me do so despite this. Why? Why would he do such a thing? What could he possibly see in Akito – a girl so confused, so violent, so controlling – that would attract him in such a way? Certainly, I didn't see anything at all romantically appealing about her (not to mention that they are close blood relatives, making it all the more odd, although I have theorized that my family's tradition of incest might have been what caused so many psychological disorders). And, from what I gathered, it seemed that she had always been, even as a child, a (I hesitate to use the word, as it is rather unprofessional) cruel and abusive person. Moreover, for him to then sleep with her mother (who wasn't all that pleasant, either), made the whole relationship even more twisted in my mind. Of course, I completely understood that Shigure must have been angered to find Akito sleeping with another man, and many individuals would, as a way to express their pain and hurt, decide to avenge such deeds with similar actions (which, needless to say, is not a very constructive or positive way of dealing with such a situation). However, I must admit, sleeping with your partner's mother, well, that was taking it just a tad too far; in fact, it took it to an all together more disturbing and psychologically imbalanced level.
Then again, although I hadn't met with him frequently compared to the others, I had always found my sessions with Shigure strangely unsettling. At first, it had seemed that Shigure's sessions would turn out to be my favorites, as he himself was so relaxed and friendly. Yet, it didn't take long for me to get the feeling that something was lurking, lurking behind that bubbly façade. I wasn't sure exactly what it was though and that was the problem; I couldn't figure him out. I always got the feeling that he was calculating something, trying to manipulate things, scheming for his own purposes, but I really had no proof except for a gut instinct and the rare times when his silly grin seemed to become a creepy smirk. Typically, it appeared (although, to be honest, he was quite subtle about it) that he came to our sessions to see what kind of information he could pry out of me about the others (something which, I can proudly say, he has been largely unsuccessful at). What was worse was that I often felt as if he was trying to analyze me, when it was supposed to be the other way around.
As Shigure took his seat on the couch, I still remained standing in shock, trying to absorb what I had just learned. I became desperate to ask him about what Akito had just told me. The curiosity was stinging; I wanted to make sense of it all, bring reason to what seemed to be so absurdly illogical. There was obviously something more to it – there had to be. Yet, despite my deep desire to know more, I knew I couldn't ask him and so I didn't. After all, ethically and professionally speaking, I was required to uphold patient confidentiality at all times and so anything that Akito discussed with me during a session had to remain between the two of us.
"So, what will we be discussing today?" Shigure asked harmlessly with his usual affable smile.
My thoughts were a jumble. Stammering, I answered, "Oh, well, uh let me just look at my notes here…" I made my way around my desk and took my seat, quickly shuffling through papers until I pulled out his folder. As I opened it, I could see out of the corner of my eye Shigure raise an eyebrow with interest; I immediately knew that he could tell that something was up. Yet, I ignored this as I attempted to say with composure, "According to my notes, it seems we left off on helping you deal with your sometimes selfish whims and trying to understand this need you have to perhaps manipulate other people."
"I heard Yuki and Kyou came by earlier this week?" Shigure suddenly changed the subject.
"Yes, they did."
"And how did it go?"
"Fine," I replied curtly but pleasantly. As difficult as it was, I always tried to remain calm and cheerful when I met with Shigure, for I knew what he was looking for was to get a rise out of me, as was characteristic of those who tended to act out as instigators (if only I had the opportunity to let his editor know that). I immediately went back to the subject at hand, "Now, returning to –"
"Ha'ri came by yesterday, didn't he?" Shigure interrupted. "I saw him afterward; I must admit, he did seem rather grumpy…"
"Oh, really?" I responded as nonchalantly as I could, "I can't say I noticed." Then, I once again returned to our original discussion, hoping that maybe I could possibly get him to also begin talking about his relationship with Akito. "But, as I was saying, why do you feel this need to act out on your selfish impulses?" Despite my efforts, I was still stammering; in fact, I was sure I appeared nervous and preoccupied throughout the entire session.
Shigure noticed it, too. He inquired; "Are you all right, Kazuki? Something bothering you?"
"No, I – " I became a bit flustered, but made an effort to assure him, "I just want to help you through overcoming your selfish urges and – "
"Akito told you, didn't she?" A smirk slowly crept on his face.
"What?" I quickly glanced down at my notes and began to write something (nothing all that substantial, might I add), in order to avoid eye contact, and plainly said, "Oh, I'm sorry, but you know I can't discuss my other patients with you. Now, it seems that, according to my notes - "
"I can tell. No wonder she knocked down the bookcase."
"I just told you that I can't – "
"Yes, I am in love with Akito. And, yes, I slept with Ren."
I broke my pencil point accidentally as he made this declaration and then looked up at him. Simply, I asked, "Why?"
Shigure just laughed and stood up. "Oh, I'm sure you'll figure it out one of these days. You're the psychiatrist – the doctor (he had a tendency to tease me for not being a "real" doctor), after all!" His tone was uncharacteristically cold and harsher than he usually allowed it to be. However, with that, he made his way to the door, and I didn't bother to stop him. At last, the part of me that had wished I never even heard anything about the disturbing affair finally kicked in, so I just sat there and watched him leave. "Bye bye, Kazuki! See you soon!" he wished me farewell, returning to his friendlier voice, and was gone.
It took me about two hours to clean my office. Truth be told, I did take my time, as I found myself falling into deep reflection. Naturally, I thought plenty about what I had just learned regarding Akito and Shigure. However, I also found myself contemplating my family and the curse in general. Was this all they could hope for? Misery and suffering? And how could they not see that it was no curse inflicting them with such torment; they were causing their own pain – they were the ones who hurt each other. When was all their hatred and cruelty going to end? From Akito's destruction of Hatori's life to Shigure's condemnable behavior to Yuki's insecurities - as far as I could see, none of it stemmed from any curse but from selfish maliciousness. And, worse of all, all this pain they held within themselves was cumulating in illogical hatred for Kyou, a teenage boy who was forced to suffer the most for all of this preventable nonsense.
Unfortunately, I had to reschedule my appointment with Ritsu due to the unexpected mess, which resulted in quite a hysterical scene in the hall right outside my office. Ritsu was, as always, very apologetic, and I tried my best to reason with him that he had nothing to be sorry for. This only caused him to apologize more for not heeding my advice from previous sessions in regards to controlling his impulse to always apologize when faced with apparent confrontation. It took me about twenty minutes to finally calm him down, reschedule our appointment for the next day, assure him that he need not make it up to me by cleaning my office for me, and finally escort him out.
Once I finished arranging my bookcase to its proper order, I left my office for the day. Due to the fact that my practice was located at my family's main estate, it didn't take me long to trot over to my mother's residence for an early dinner. Upon entering her modest home (particularly in comparison to some of my other relatives' houses), I threw off my shoes and my tan suit jacket and called out, "Mother, I'm here!"
"Kazuki? Kazuki, is that you?" she shouted from the second floor and soon came staggering down the stairs, raven hair disheveled and beaming as she greeted me, "Oh, Kazuki I just had the most fantastic vision! A little bird just came to me and told me – " she stopped short and eyed me suspiciously, "What's wrong? You look exhausted."
"I am," I muttered, as my nose caught the smell of something burning in the kitchen. "Mother, did you leave dinner cooking in the kitchen again?" I questioned with annoyance, brushing past her and quickly making my way to the kitchen.
"Oh, I must have forgot about that…" she trailed off lightly and not very fazed, and she slowly followed me.
I entered her kitchen to find it filled with black smoke. Coughing, I barked, "Damn it, mother!" With urgency, I pushed through the dark cloud and to the oven, turned it off, grabbed a glove, and pulled out what was left of dinner, placing the hot tray on top of the stove. "So much for dinner," I stated harshly as I opened up a window. The smoke slowly began to clear out of the room to the outside.
"I'm sorry," she muttered, lowering her head.
Sighing, I said, "It's fine - don't worry about it. I've just had a rough day is all." I retreated to the dining area and plopped tiredly on the floor by the table.
"Well, what happened?" my mother inquired, scurrying after me and kneeling across the table.
"I'd tell you if I could, but you know I can't," I explained miserably as I rested my elbow on the table and my head in my hand. Then, I asked, "What do you think of our family?"
"Whatever do you mean?"
"Just that."
"Well, we are very, very cursed, you know…it's such a sad thing, a curse such as this one. But I know you'll save us, dear; the little birdy was just telling me all about it this morning! And what a vision!"
I groaned. "I'm sorry, but I'm really just not in the mood…"
"The bird told me you would be in a sour mood today, you know," she said in her sing song voice, "But you mustn't lose your spirit! Ume told me so – "
"Ume?"
"That's the bird's name, Kazuki."
"Of course…" I muttered. After that, I stopped paying attention, but she went on anyway about the bird and her vision, which she attempted to use to rationalize the disaster in the kitchen. Eventually, I interrupted her and asked, "What do you think about Kyou, mother?"
"Huh?" I had broken her out of her trance.
"Kyou - do you think he deserves to be locked up?"
My mother looked at me confused. "Why, he is the cat, Kazuki dear."
At this, I snapped. "What is wrong with everyone?" I exclaimed, "Are you all insane? He's not 'the cat;' he's a person. A person! I can't believe you all are living your lives based on some stupid folktale! It's just a story!"
"Oh my…" my mother uttered, hands beginning to shake frantically.
I frowned. "Please, don't be upset mother; I didn't mean to shout." My mother nodded, and I continued, "It's just that it's so wrong and completely irrational; why can't anyone else see it?"
"Kazuki," my mother said with a sympathetic smile but very worried eyes, "You mustn't speak such blasphemy. What trouble you will bring yourself! You have gotten yourself so very lost and confused, don't you see?"
I moaned but before I could respond the door to my mother's house flung open and a voice called out. "Why, Aunt Tomiko, darling, are you home? I just thought I come by for a quick, little visit!" I immediately recognized the voice to be Ayame's, who let himself in and found his way to where we were. As soon as he saw me, he said, "Oh, Kazuki, I didn't expect to find you here! Now, I know you told me that I should call before just showing up, but I have you know that I wanted to surprise your darling mother, so I really was, in actuality, being very considerate of her feelings, see?"
"Sure…" I humored him.
"Oh, and I suppose I should apologize for missing our last appointment. Don't worry, though - I'll be certain to reschedule!" he added before he sprung over to my mother, who had jumped to her feet to embrace him. "Aunt Tomiko! Did your lovely son let you know that he saw me the other day?"
"Why, no," my mother replied.
"I forgot," I admitted.
"Tsk, tsk," Ayame said with a grin, "How awful of you! I confess, though, I almost forgot to come by, but then I saw a thick black cloud coming from your home, as if a sign from the heavens above!"
"Really?" my mother beamed, "Why, it was a sign! You see, I had a vision – I was just telling Kazuki about it – and Ume instructed me to remain upstairs for the afternoon no matter what. See, Kazuki, I told you; dinner was no fault of my own! There is little one can do when destiny has already made plans of its own!"
For once in my life, I actually agreed with my mother.