Thanks for all the reviews! I appreciate it!! :)
Big FYI- Emilie is NOT preggers...lol. Last chapter was mainly a filler and filled with good info. The first part of the story was mainly Jack taking care of Em and helping her with her demons, now she gets to help him with his. Thsi next bit, after the address, is a LOT about Jack and his past and his troubles. Just and FYI, but unfortunatly no little Jack's or Diddle's will be wadlding around anytime soon...lol.
SexySadie88
BEG75
MissIndependent101
Berries-R-Blue
Strauigt Edge Queen
Thank you bunches! I love reading yall's reviews! Now enjoy...lol :)
I have a love hate relationship with Detroit. I loved seeing snow glittering the ground but I hated when it snowed me in my house. I loved when the sun shown through the clouds on a summer day but I hated when we could only use the sprinklers every other day because of a drought. But this is what I got from Detroit. I never got the in between, only the very little or a lot.
"He needs his hat."
I wasn't sure how long I was starting at the snow man but apparently it was a while. Some kids from Paisley's floor came out to make it earlier and didn't kick it down before they left. I turned to look at Jack as he limped over to me.
"What?" I asked confused. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around me.
"He needs his hat." he repeated, pointing at the snow man. "Like Frosty? You've been staring at him like you're waiting for him to speak. But he needs his hat." he smirked. I look up at him and frowned.
"Don't pick on me." I told him. He kept smirking as he leaned down to kiss me. "Ready?" I asked.
"Yeah, let's get this shit over with." he groaned.
He wasn't in a really good mood this morning. He didn't like the mall yesterday and he knew today would be worse. I think he was stumped on what to get his brothers.
"We won't be here long. I promise." I assured him as we walked into the mall. He rolled his eyes and grabbed my hand.
"On a normal day we wouldn't be here long. It's the day before Christmas Eve and we have to shop for Bobby and Angel." he whined and whipped his head in my direction. "And what in the hell am I supposed to get them? Bobby's like the Scrooge and Angel's borderline Grinch."
"He is not." I defended. "Angel loves Christmas. Bobby, well Bobby doesn't like the time and money that comes with buying gifts." I smiled.
"Do we really have to buy something for Sofi?" he asked.
"Yes, nothing but big. Just something that let's her know we see her as family too." I laughed.
"Why? If we make her feel like family, she'll stay and Bobby would kill you." he told me, trying not to laugh. I stopped and turned to look at him.
"Listen, Sofi, as annoying and loud as she might be, is apart of this family whether you, Bobby, Jerry, Camille and everyone else likes it or not. Alright?" I smirked, poking his chest as I spoke. He grinned down at me.
"Ya know, I remember you promising one hell of a night when I got my cast taken off." he whispered, softly nipping the side of my neck. I blushed a little, seeing as we were in the mall, and pushed him back.
"I have no recollection of that promise, Mr. Mercer." I teased and started to walk off. I felt his hands grab my wrists and pull me back into him. His breath on the back of my neck sent shivers down my spine and I let out a soft moan when he rubbed himself against me.
"Jackie, later, I promise. But right now, we're showing an awful lot of PDA and we need to be shopping." I smiled up at him.
"I'm holding you to that promise." he told me firmly and started walking again.
We visited just about every store there was in the mall and looked over inch of each one until we were sure we had everything we needed. It took us nearly four hours but we finished getting presents for everyone.
We both let out simultaneous sighs as we sat down on the couch. Bags were spread all over my living room floor and my feet were killing me.
"And I'm still not done." I whined and buried my face in Jack's neck. He kissed my forehead and laid his feet on the coffee table, grabbing the remote.
"We're already late for everything, why decorate when it's going to be taken down in two days?" he asked. I looked up at him and glared.
"Because I want a real Christmas this year." I pouted.
"You had one last year." he said looking at the television. I grabbed his chin and made him look at me.
"I didn't have you." I told him softly. He laid the remote down and pulled me onto his lap, snaking his hands up my shirt.
"Then decorate." he smiled. "We'll make up for last year. Even if it is late." he promised and kissed my hand.
"Can we keep them up until New Years?" I asked, smiling a little. He pulled me down for a quick kiss and smiled again.
"We can keep them up all year if you like." he laughed. I leaned down to kiss him again and smiled against his lips when his fingers crawled higher and higher up my back. "Is this later enough?" he whispered, brushing his lips across my ear. I giggled and scooted off his lap to pull him up but stopped when his cell rang.
"You've got to be kidding me." he growled and opened it. "Yeah?" I walked into the kitchen as he talked to whoever it was and fixed myself a sandwich. I sat at the table and waited for him to come in and I smirked when he did. He slowly limped in, scratching his head. I knew he wanted to ask me something, I could see it written all over his face.
"Who was that?" I asked casually. He sat down and shrugged.
"Eh, just Troy and James." he replied. I nodded and pulled a piece of bread off my sandwich.
"Everything okay? They're not ditching us for dinner are they? " I asked, popping it into my mouth. We decided that we would all gather tonight for a Christmas dinner being that we were all going to be with family on the actual Eve and holiday. He looked over at me and shook his head.
"No. Everything's good. They are still coming." I stared at him for a few seconds and he sighed and laid his hands on the table. "They just wanted me to come over for a little jam session before they came over."
"Okay." I nodded.
"But I told them no. I know you want to decorate and I don't want you doing it by yourself. Plus, we still gotta get dinner ready." he told me. I smirked and looked over at him.
"You can go, Jack. I know you've been itching to get with them again. I'll get Pais to help me with decorations and dinner. Just make sure you three are here on time." I told him. A huge grin spread across his face and he leaned over the table to kiss me.
"We'll be back before dinner, I swear." he vowed as he limped to the front door. "I love you, babe!" he called out.
"Love you too!" I yelled as he shut the door. I laughed and shook my head as I picked up the phone to call Paisley down to help. A few minutes later, I heard my door open and shut and Paisley was smiling at me.
"I haven't decorated in years!" she exclaimed and pulled me out my chair. "My mom always has it done whenever we get over there and I live alone, so why decorate my place? But we are going to make this place all pretty and cheery." she smiled. I bit back my laughter as I watched her skip into the living room. I had never seen her this happy before.
"So where do you wanna start?" I asked and looked around at all the decorations. She tapped her chin and pointed to the tiny Christmas tree. I nodded and started opening it.
We cleared the furniture out of the way and set it up in the corner. It was a tad bit too tall and we had to cut about 5 inches off the top so we could fit and a topping when it was time. We wrapped it in lights first. Jack only picked up white and blue, said it looked cooler. I got the lucky spot of standing between the tree and the wall as we passed the lights around. When we managed to wrap it from top to bottom, we grabbed all the ornaments.
"What are these?" Paisley asked, opening a box of ornaments. I smiled and walked over to her.
"Some are from Evelyn's and some are mine and Abigail's. I thought it's be nice to have new and old decorations so I snatched a few from Jerry." I told her and picked up an orange snow flake made form paper. I turned it so she could see a tiny picture of a young Jack in the middle.
"Oh my gosh." she exclaimed and grabbed it. "He's too cute!" I laughed and took it back.
"Evelyn made sure they had a normal childhood, as normal as it could be. She wanted to give them traditions so they could pas sit on." I told her as I hung it on the front of the tree. "Jerry and Camille sit down with the girls each year and make decorations.'
"Will you do that with your kids?" she asked, walking up next to me and hanging up a few more. I remembered mine and Jack's conversation last night and sighed.
"I'd like to." I whispered and walked back to grab a few more. We hung the snow flakes, shiny balls, crystal figures and other ornaments all over the tree. Making sure people could see both new and old ones. Pais grabbed the tinsel and sprinkled pieces all over the tree, giving it the sparkle that we both wanted and needed to see. We had another couple strings of lights and hung them around the fireplace and set out a few Christmas trinkets. When we were all done we stood by the door and smiled at our work. In a matter of hours my living room went from a normal day to a tiny winter wonderland.
"We forgot the tree topping." Paisley announced and started walking back over but I grabbed her hand.
"I wanna let Jack do that." I smiled. She laughed and nodded.
"Well, we gotta start on dinner." she sighed and we walked into the kitchen. "What do ya need?" she asked as I started grabbing all the food I needed for tonight. I named off the pots and pans I needed for dinner and she graciously set them out for me while I started everything.
"So how has Jack been?" she asked, leaning next to me as I started the corn on the cob.
"He's been good." I told her, placing the corn in the water. She looked at me and tilted her head.
"And you?" she asked. I walked past her to the oven and looked in at the ham.
"Good." I lied. I wasn't good. I had two more nightmares since that night and they were worse.
"Liar." she declared and stopped me when I tried to walk past her back to the stove. "I can see it in those pretty blue eyes of yours. What's going on?" she pried. I sighed and tried to move past her.
"Pais, I need to get dinner done." I whined as she pushed me back into a chair.
"Dinner is fine. You're not. Talk." she demanded and sat in front of me. I slouched in the chair and looked at her.
"I've been having nightmares." I caved.
"About?" she asked.
"The shooting. They all are the same but each time it get's worse. The first started with me watching him get shot, not being able to help him. He blamed it one me, told me I was cursed. Then my aunt came in." I huffed.
"Mean aunt? The one that gave you up and took Richie?" she asked.
"Yeah, that witch. She yelled at me saying that when I loved someone it was there death sentence."
"Oh Em, have you told Jack?" she asked. I laughed out loud and shook my head.
"No. Could you imagine that conversation? Me telling him I'm having nightmares about him almost dying and him blaming it on me. That's a nice Christmas topic." I said sarcastically. Paisley grabbed my hands and looked at me in the eyes.
"Tell him." she told me sternly. I sighed and nodded my head.
I took the bus down to the studio where James and Troy were at. I couldn't drive and I wasn't going to ask Emilie with all the work she had to do. And I wasn't too good for the bus, it's just a bus.
"Jack-O!" Troy greeted as I pushed through the doors. I smiled and gave him a half hug. James walked up and patted my back.
"Did ya have a hard time gettin' out?" James asked.
"Actually, no. She told me to come." I laughed.
"I knew I liked her for a reason." Troy laughed along, going to sit behind his drum set. "So how ya been Jackie boy?"
"Eh, I've been better." I told them, sitting on an amp and grabbing my guitar.
"What's going on?" James asked. I smirked at him and adjusted my strings.
"You like channeling Oprah, huh?" I teased, earning a chuckle from both men as they looked at me expectantly. "I've been having nightmares. Not about like me dying or whatever. Nothing like post traumatic stress but just nightmares."
"You gotta give us more than that Jack." Troy told me softly.
"When Fowler took Em he kind of tried something." I told them slowly. They didn't know about the whole drama that went down about Bobby and Angel thinking Emilie was…touched.
"Did he try to fucking rape her?" James yelled. I shook my head and motioned for him to sit down.
"No, he didn't really touch her. But he wanted to and almost tried, if that makes any sense." I sighed. "Anyways, I keep having dreams that I'm in the hospital room and he's got Emilie there in his arms." I let out a shaky breath. "He touches her right in front of me. Puts his hand down her pants and all. Then they both tell me I failed at protecting her."
"Damn, Jack." Troy whispered and rubbed his face. "Does Em know?" he asked.
"Hell no. do you know who guilty she would feel if I told her that?" I asked. "I can't tell her." They both looked at me and sighed.
"You gotta tell her, man." James told me softly. I sighed and finished fiddling with my strings.
"I'll think about it. But if I do, it won't be now. She wants this Christmas to be perfect, to make up for last year. That's the least I can give her." I told them.
"What did you get her?" Troy asked. I cursed out loud and smacked my forehead. "You didn't get her anything did you?"
"No, I did." I told them and looked at my watch, 5:26pm. "I just forgot to pick it up. Think we can make it to Lowry's before 6 o'clock?" I asked them. They smirked and nodded. We piled into James's car and made our way over to the jewelry store I got her Diddle necklace from. I made a trip to the store a few days after I was released and they said they'd hold it but they were going on break from three weeks starting Christmas Eve. I needed to get there before they closed or I'd be in the dog house.
"Wait, wait!" I yelled as James helped me out the car. We just pulled up as the owner was walking out. He looked over at us and smirked.
"Mr. Mercer, I was wondering when you were coming back." he said, opening the door back. "I have it right here." He handed me the box and patted me on the back.
"Merry Christmas, Jack." he smiled and I walked back over to the car. The guys looked at me and I handed the box to them. Their eyes popped when they saw it.
"Wow, Jack-O. You pulled out all the big guns, huh?" Troy smirked looking in the velvet box. I smirked and took it from them.
"Just drive. I don't wanna get murdered for missing dinner." I told them as I shoved the box in my pocket. I made sure they knew not to say anything about a present of any kind while they were here. I wanted her to be surprised.
I could not believe it. In the five hours we were gone she decorated and cooked. I walked in and couldn't help but smile. She had the tree set up, lights around it setting the mood and dinner was smelling the whole house up. She had to have wanted to see my reaction because as soon as the door was closed she came scurrying out of the kitchen, smiling at me. Her eyes sparkled as she flipped the switch to turn the lights on and I laughed.
"It looks good, babe." I whispered and nuzzled her neck. She kissed my lips real quick before pulling me over to the tree. I finally got a good look and smiled. She took some of Ma's old ornaments and put them with the new ones we bought. I smiled down and pulled her to my side.
"I left the top for you." she smiled and handed me the angel that topped the tree. I chuckled and reached up to finish off the tree.
"Thanks, Diddle." I whispered and kissed her head. She buried her face in my jacket and scarf as I held her and looked at the tree. I almost forgot it was my first without Ma. Sure I had missed last year but she was alive then. This year she was gone completely. I wanted to be sad about that but I also wanted to be happy that it was my first with Emilie. I was torn. But I knew Ma would want me to be happy and I was,
"Okay, save all that smoochy smooch for later, I'm starving." Troy called from the kitchen. I glared at him and he smirked as he walked back in. Emilie grabbed my hand and pulled me to the kitchen.
"We slaved in this hot kitchen for hours, so you better enjoy it." she demanded, playfully wagging a finger at me. I grabbed it and gently bit it, making her blush a little.
"Let's eat." she whispered.
After a fulfilling dinner and a few carols later, it was just Jack and Emilie. The boys agreed to clean up seeing as the girls cooked and of course, they had no objections. It was nothing fancy but it was a nice dinner. A Christmas with friends. And now it was just them, sitting on the outside balcony, huddled in Jack's jacket and a blanket.
"Warm?" Jack asked, pulling Emilie closer to his body. She smiled up at him and kissed the underside of his chin.
"Yes, thank you." she whispered. She laid her head back and sighed. It was heaven being in his arms again. Even though it was below freezing outside, there was no other place she'd rather be than right there with Jack. That feeling was mutual as Jack looked down at her. He could see the lights from other's peoples houses shining in her eyes. She was beautiful.
"I love you." he whispered. She looked up at him and smiled softly before reaching her hand up and touching his face.
"I love you too." she told him. She knew it was true. She saw it in his eyes, heard it in his voice and felt it in his touch. He loved her and she loved him. Feeling this right now made her guilty for not telling him about her dreams. They should be able to tell each other anything.
"I have something to confess." she stated and moved a little, so she was facing him better. Jack's heart almost stopped and she noticed it. "Nothing like that." she added quickly.
"What is it babe?" he asked, feeling better that she wasn't going to say she cheated on him.
"I've been having nightmares." she told him softly. Jack looked at her and rubbed her cheek.
"What about, Em?" he asked but he knew the answer. He saw it in her eyes. "The shooting?"
"Yes and no." she sighed. "I've just been seeing it happen again but in slow motion kind of. I go and try to pull you away but you won't move. I see him shoot you and you start to blame it on me." she explained and he moved to hush her.
"Emilie-"
"No, let me finish." she pleaded and he nodded. "Bobby and Angel come out telling me it's my fault and you tell me I'm cursed. My aunt shows up and tells me I kill everyone I love. It's horrible, Jack." By this time Emilie was crying so hard she could barley breath. She didn't realize how much the dreams were hurting her. Jack wiped her tears away with his thumb and kissed her head. Now he felt selfish for not wanting to tell her about his dreams. But then again, he didn't know she was having them too. He closed his eyes before talking.
"The last few nights I've had this re-occurring dream." he started. Emilie calmed her crying and looked up at him. "I've been strapped to the hospital bed and Fowler is there. With you. He tells me that I wasn't strong enough to protect you and that I didn't deserve you." Jack sighed and looked away from Emilie. "He touched you, Em. In the dream he touches you right in front of me and he pushes you over the-" he stopped, holding back tears and trying to push the image out of his head.
"It's okay." Emilie tried to soothe him and not get upset again.
"The only thing you said was that I promised you. I promised you even after death and I failed." Jack choked out. "And I don't even want to start on how my Ma acted." he finished and finally looked up at her.
"I was afraid you'd hate me for dreaming that." Emilie confessed.
"I'd never hate you." Jack told her. "I'd never blame you for what happened."
"And I'd never blame you." she promised. Jack kissed her hands and pulled her back to his chest. She snuggled into his warmth again and sighed.
"You're not cursed." Jack whispered after a few minutes. "You're love isn't a death sentence either."
"It seems like it sometimes." Emilie whispered back.
"It's not." Jack assured her. "It's a blessing. It's a life fulfilled having you love someone. There's so many things people want to do before they die. I like to think having someone love you unconditionally is one of them." Jack told her. "Thanks to you, your parents, Abigail and Evelyn all got that chance. They died knowing there was someone that loved them. They died knowing that you loved them."
"Honestly, it's the only way I'd like to die. Knowing that you loved me." he whispered. Emilie couldn't help the tears fall as she heard him. Jack rubbed her arms and looked at her as she cried in his chest. He held her as the reality hit. The reality of how much they really cared for one another and how far they had come. He held her as she slowly started to realize that she was able to love someone and not loose them. She was slowly but surely coming to terms with that.
She almost fell asleep until something hit her nose. She opened her eyes and saw Jack smiling at her. She was about to ask him what he did but something else hit her cheek. She looked around and noticed it was snowing again.
"You were about to blame me weren't you?" he asked. She nodded and smiled. "You're so mean." he teased. Emilie laughed and scooted off his lap. She held her hands out for him and he let her pull him up. She went to walked inside but he pulled her into a hug.
"I love you, Em." he sighed, holding her close and looking out at the silent and snow covered streets of Detroit. "I love you more than I ever thought imaginable."
"I love you too, Jackie." she smiled and leaned up to kiss him. "But let's go inside before we turn into popsicles." she laughed and pulled him to the door. Jack's mind went to over load when she said that.
"But if I were a popsicle, it'd give you more incentive to suc-" Jack stopped when Emilie's hand covered his mouth. He looked down at her and smirked when he saw her mouth hanging open and blushing like mad.
"Jack Mercer!" she exclaimed and removed her hand. "Don't you dare finish that sentence."