Sorry it took a few days to get this chapter up - school just started up and things are pretty crazy on campus!

Anyhow, thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed! As always, it is greatly appreciated!

Next up is another session with Kyou! Enjoy!

Patient – Sohma Kyou; Session #125

My feelings of regret and disillusionment grew worse as Yuki left, his session finished, and Kyou strolled in, ready to begin his own. I knew he would be coming (as his session always followed Yuki's or vica versa, since both of them were typically scheduled for the late afternoon following their school day), and I was certain the session would get messy. Fortunately, though, Kyou had not been informed of my miserable session with Akito early that morning (it was perhaps the only time I was grateful that Kyou was ostracized by my family for being the cat), and he came in with something very different on his mind.

Taking a seat on the couch and crossing his arms, he spoke quite defensively before I could even get a word out; "Listen, I'm not going, all right?"

"What?"

"I'm not going away. I'm not traveling or anything. And that's that."

"How come?"

"It's just not for me, okay? I'm not smart like you are, and I could never get into one of those super-elite universities you went to, Oxford and whatever else it was. I'm too stupid, so just forget it."

"But Kyou, firstly, you are a smart person, and secondly, there are plenty of schools abroad that you could attend – Oxford and Harvard aren't the only ones, you know. What does Kazuma think about all this?"

"Nothing – it doesn't matter, because I can't go, so just drop it."

"What do you mean 'can't?'"

"I just can't!" Kyou exclaimed sharply and turned his head from me, his face growing pink with embarrassment. For a moment, I smiled. It didn't take a doctorate in psychology for me to analyze what was going on for it was written plainly across his face; Kyou was in love. Admittedly, my heart did feel warm at the sweet thought of two young innocents falling in love for the first time, but of course my practicality soon reminded me that Kyou's well-being also should take precedence over teenage romance.

Yet, while I'd typically argue the point further, as well as eagerly discuss his new (and hopefully positive) infatuation, I could not bring myself to do so that afternoon. Although Kyou's entrance and blunt declaration had pushed it to the back of my mind, it did not take long for me to remember that Kyou was still not aware of Akito's transgression. Moreover, while I had wrongfully lied to Yuki, my ethics would not permit me to be deceitful again. Guilt had already seemed to have overcome me during Yuki's session, and now I was desperate to free myself of its strangling hands. I needed to confess, make myself honest again and restore my integrity. At the same time, I was very worried to do so, since I was positive his reaction would be anything but good.

I suppose my own thoughts and fears had consumed me to the point where I didn't even realize that a long period of silence had begun. Kyou anxiously glanced over to me with suspicion and finally said, "You're being awfully quiet. Aren't you going to argue with me or something?"

"Oh, I – " Snapping out of my daze, I started, "Uh, actually, Kyou, there's something I need to talk to you about…"

Kyou's eyes narrowed. "Yeah?"

At first, I tried to make light of it by letting out a laugh, but my nervousness was sickeningly obvious. Immediately, I choked on my laughter and broke out into a bit of coughing fit. Clearing my throat, I decided on a more serious but remorseful approach and said, "It has to do with Akito."

"Akito?"

"Yes, and um, you."

Kyou's expression became much more frightened with this as his face turned white. He swallowed hard and asked apprehensively, "Did Akito say something about me? Am I in some kind of trouble?"

"Uh, no…well, sort of…it's kind of confusing…" I trailed off awkwardly. I wanted to say that I was the one who was really in trouble, but I wisely decided not to.

"What's going on?" Kyou demanded in a loud voice, rising to his feet and clenching his fists.

"Now, remember Kyou, we discussed that it was negative of you to resort to yelling in times when you felt insecure and – " I swallowed hard, feeling foolish, and quickly muttered, "Never mind. It's just, well…" I glanced away, not knowing how to put it. After all, the last thing I needed was another loud argument, the news of which would quickly spread to the rest of my family no doubt.

Trying to calm himself down, Kyou relaxed his fists and said in a less harsh tone, "Listen, Kazuki, will you just let me know what's going on?"

"Okay," I complied. Then I took a deep breath and said, "Akito read your file."

Kyou at first widened his eyes in shock, but that was soon replaced with fury, as he leaned forward with clenched fists and gritted teeth. "Akito did what?"

"Well, actually, it's kind of a funny story," I said stupidly with a weak chuckle.

"Funny? You think this is funny?" Kyou raged.

Immediately, I grew serious once more and said lamely, "No, Kyou. No, this is not funny at all."

"How could you let Akito read my file?"

For a moment, my own temper flared and I stood up, placing my hands on my desk, and stated, "I did not let Akito read your file. It was done without me knowing, and I only found out about it this morning."

"Well, don't you keep these things locked up?"

"Yes."

"Then how come Akito was able to read them?"

"I don't know. I assure you, however, that I've relocated all my patient files, so they'll be even more secure."

"Some help that is!"

"Listen," I said more calmly, inhaling deeply and attempting to be less defensive, "I understand you must be upset – "

"I can't believe this," Kyou interrupted, "I can't believe this! As if our lives aren't interfered with enough! Now Akito knows everything – everything." With that last statement, it suddenly seemed that the full meaning of what had happened struck Kyou harshly like an unforgiving wave. Slowly, he sat back down on the couch, becoming as white as newly fallen snow. "I'm in so much trouble…" he said quietly.

I sat down as well, feeling worse than I did before and even more guilty. I started to think that perhaps it would've been better if Kyou never knew and that I had just been selfish in confessing, since I was only thinking of making myself feel better. Of course, I knew that honesty was always the best way to handle a situation (or so I had been taught), but I seriously began to doubt that mantra, especially as I studied the frightened boy sitting across from me. Couldn't ignorance be bliss in some cases? Immediately, I knew that such an idea was wrong, but in the back of mind I couldn't help but prefer that easy way out. Yet, by this point, it was too late to reconsider that route, unless I foolishly lied and said I had been joking all along, something which I was certain would just contribute to more paranoia on his part. Carefully, therefore, I began, "Please, Kyou, how about we - "

"How could you let this happen?" Kyou asked softly, but his tone was severe. His voice quivered as he continued, "You said I could trust you. You're always going on and on about how everything we discuss is kept private, how I have nothing to worry about. You lied."

"Kyou, Kyou, I'm so sorry," I apologized. With every word he had spoken, I had felt more terrible to the point where my guilt was making me feel physically sick. I had no more desire to try to rationalize what happened, shift the blame, defend myself. In the end, I knew I was the one accountable, because it was my responsibility in the first place. I had failed to fulfill my professional obligation to keep my patients' files confidential, one of the most crucial responsibilities trusted to a psychiatrist. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized I hadn't just failed in that aspect; I had, ultimately, been a complete failure during my entire time counseling my family. Not only had I accomplished nothing, I had succeeded brilliantly in making things worse.

At once, I felt even more miserable and guilty for feeling sorry for myself. After all, with Kyou in such a frightened, dejected state due to my ineptness, it was selfish on my part to start sulking. Quickly, I tried to refocus my thoughts and offered, "I know right now you probably don't want to talk to me, but I'm willing to discuss this with you and together I'm sure we can work it out."

Kyou seemed less angry as he listened to me, his rage being replaced by sheer distress, and he looked at me with desperate eyes; "What am I going to do, Kazuki? Akito must be – I'm in so much trouble…" he trailed off. He fell into deep thought, and I respectfully remained silent. Then suddenly it appeared as if something had dawned on him, and he looked over at me and simply said with an odd sort of relief, "But you. "

"Uh, yes?" I inquired, a bit uncertain.

"Well, you must be in a whole lot more trouble than I am."

I can't say what it was, but his statement felt as if someone had kicked me hard in the stomach. My whole body seemed to grow numb for an instance, and a strange cold crawled beneath my skin. "What do you mean?"

"It's just that when I think about it, you said a lot more stupid things than I did, since I was smart enough to keep my mouth shut. Akito must be pretty mad at you."

To be honest, I hadn't thought much about how mad Akito was at me or how much trouble I would be in. Sure, Akito was angry with me in the morning, something which she made very clear, but I had gotten so upset myself that I forgot to worry about whether or not she was still angry. What's more, as I was so busy concerning myself about protecting my patients' confidentiality, I didn't take the time to actually contemplate the specifics of what she had read in Kyou's file and how they could have enraged her so much. However, with Kyou bringing it up, the memories of her shrieking, claiming I was the "devil," and that eerie look in her eyes quickly came back to me. Suddenly, I recognized that perhaps Akito's fit that morning was only the beginning of something much larger (although I lamely tried to convince myself that such thoughts were preposterous and would only lead to paranoia). Yet, despite my new worries, I replied, "Yes, well, uh, Akito and I settled all that this morning…"

Wide-eyed with surprise, Kyou said, "You did?" I nodded in confirmation. "And you're sure Akito read everything?"

"Yes…"

"And Akito's not angry with you at all?"

"Uh…well, I suppose not…I don't think we should talk about this anymore."

"Wow," Kyou relaxed a bit. "That's impressive. Maybe you're better at all this than I thought."

Swallowing hard, I managed a weak smile. "Thank you, I guess."

"That doesn't mean I'm not still angry," Kyou hastily reminded me, "And that doesn't mean I trust you anymore, either. I'm just happy to know that Akito took it okay." I tried my best not to grimace. He stood up then and said, "Well, I'm leaving now, because there's nothing really left to talk about, and I really don't feel like lying more than usual."

"Lying?"

"Yeah, lying. It's a good thing too, because then I would have said some really stupid things that I'm sure you would have gone and told Akito about."

"But Kyou, you have to be honest during our sessions," I explained in vain, "We can't have any progress if you lie to me."

Kyou shrugged and walked toward the door, "It's no big deal to me. I only go to these stupid things because Akito makes us go, for whatever reason. I can handle my problems on my own, especially without other people reading about them."

"Kyou, I said I was sorry."

"A lot of good that does, though," he muttered coldly and left me alone in my office, with nothing but my own guilt, fear, and misery to keep me company.