A/N: Scene in Kirk's quarters written to Enya's "Drifting." If you have it, or can get it, I think it will enhance the experience for you ;)
Chamber_music: Me too! I actually just saw it again today so I was definitely in prime shape to write this chapter. haha
Kitsune-Hamato: Thank you! :)
SpirkTrekker42: Spock is my favorite character… I just love the idea of all that emotion ready to bust out of that cage of logic. I'm glad you like my interpretation of what his mind might be like.
Falconheart: Thank you so much!
Ptrst: That makes me feel good. :)
Paula545: Thank you! It's always nice to get a compliment.
jowx97: I loved his cheeky side in the movie, too. My favorite— Kirk: "It's logic, Spock. I thought you'd like that." Spock: "No, not really. Not this time." I'm glad I was able to bring that out here as well :)
Ophelia: There's lots more to come, but hopefully this chapter is satisfying :)
Thanks to all of you who have added this to your favorites or alerts! There has been an overwhelming response to this story, so I just want to thank ALL of you for reading!
xx
"Space travel is torturously slow without warp speed." Scotty leaned back in his chair and turned to the Captain. "Why don't we get in the escape pods and warp to Earth?"
"Well—I—"
"Lieutenant Uhura has been monitoring Romulan transmissions," Spock interjected. "They know that a Romulan mining vessel has been destroyed, and they may yet attempt to attack us. To launch small, barely protected crafts would be illogical."
"There you have it." Kirk sat back in his chair.
Uhura glanced at the two men. They seemed to be consciously avoiding each other, yet they were much more civil toward each other than they'd been just a day ago.
"But—how would they even know the Narada existed?" Sulu protested. "It's not—"
"It doesn't matter," Kirk interrupted. "If they get reports of a Federation ship attacking a Romulan ship, they are liable to attack. We're better equipped for a battle on the Enterprise."
McCoy privately thought that it would be better to separate and launch escape pods with warp drive, but he decided he daren't open his mouth.
Chekov turned to Scotty then, questioning him about his transwarp beaming equation. As Scotty began to explain about the principle of space being the object in motion, Kirk's eyes gravitated to a spot near the captain's chair. He couldn't suppress the acceleration of his heartbeat, the tightening of his pants, the desire to do it all over again.
Spock watched the same area with an ache in the pit of his stomach. Again, the human and Vulcan sides of himself tore at each other. Longingly, he thought of the V'tosh ka'tur. They had rejected Surak's philosophy and left Vulcan, deciding instead to live as nomads, balancing logic with emotion. If he'd been raised with them—if he'd followed his half-brother, Sybok—but that was all in the past. He had to fight his innate logic, which told him that following his lust would be extremely unwise.
But sometimes, he reasoned, unwise actions have brought surprisingly good results.
xx
"Captain, I was wondering if I might have a word." Spock stood uncomfortably outside Kirk's quarters, straightening his Starfleet uniform. The bright lights which usually lined the hallway had been dimmed, owing to the late hour.
"Yeah. Yeah, of course." He stepped aside to let Spock in.
"Captain. About last night." He promptly flushed, his cheeks filled with a touch of pale green. "I think that, given our positions on the ship, it would be wise to not involve ourselves in any sort of—of attraction which could suggest a lack of decorum."
Kirk approached him. "Spock," he reminded him gently, "until yesterday, you were in a relationship with Lieutenant Uhura. You were the Captain and she was a lieutenant. Why is that any different?"
For once, Spock had nothing to say.
"You're afraid of this," Kirk told him. "You're afraid and so you're just going to deny it all."
More silence.
Tentatively, Kirk reached out and tilted his chin up so that Spock would look at him. "You're right, you know. It's completely illogical. But I don't give a damn." A pause. "You know, last night—" he sighed. "Well, last night was a lot of things. Unexpected, for one."
Spock allowed himself a tiny smile.
"But other than that. I laid awake all night thinking about it. It was… beyond reason. Beyond self-control."
"Ecstasy," Spock filled in, his voice betraying the emotion filling his consciousness.
They stared at each other for a moment.
"I understand," said Kirk, "that you're going to have to take small steps."
"I go through pon farr just as pure Vulcans do," Spock said slowly, taking a step toward his Captain. "But I'm not like them. I get humanlike urges as well. Strong ones."
Kirk was now so close that he could hear Spock's decidedly Vulcan heart, the flutter of hundreds of beats per minute, like a cat's. What a cruel joke, he thought, as his fingers found the edge of the blue wool. Years of chasing after hot girls, and the person who gives me what I need is a quiet male Vulcan.
Without speaking, Spock took Kirk's hands in his. He lifted them into the air, gently opening his fingers, exposing his palms to the air. Deliberately, Spock closed his eyes and pressed the pads of his fingers to those of Kirk's.
Kirk, with eyes wide open, watched the flutter of Spock's closed eyelids as some sort of transcendental, luscious electricity flowed through their fingertips. Suddenly, he became painfully aware of his own heartbeat, pulsating so quickly he wildly imagined he was Vulcan himself.
Spock inclined his head, and Kirk understood that he was meant to meet him; their foreheads touched, and the contact felt more intimate than any touch he'd experienced in his life.
They stood this way for some time, Spock's breathing like a metronome, keeping time in the still room, until Kirk could stand it no longer.
"I can't be patient," he whispered, and Spock's eyes opened.
"Neither can I," he admitted, and pulled Kirk's sweater over his head.
"God," Kirk said breathlessly, freeing Spock of his clothes, "if anyone had told me I'd be doing this—with you…"
"Yes." Spock smiled. "I would have thought precisely the same thing."
Kirk ran his fingers over the smooth terrain of his counterpart's skin. They hadn't taken the time for exploration last night; they had been on the bridge, a place that was usually manned at all times—but, thanks to Spock's uncharacteristic emotional turmoil, it had been emptied at his sharp order. Both men still feared a chance encounter with a crew member, however, and were rather hasty and anxious in their coupling.
Tonight, though, thought Kirk, as they fell onto the bed together, tonight is going to be different.
With stiff fingers, Spock attempted to remove the last item of clothing still clinging to his Captain. As he stumbled, Kirk gently steadied his hands and helped him shed that thin barrier of fabric.
As they pressed together, Kirk noticed for the first time that the Vulcan was much, much warmer than he was; his skin felt like fire.
"You are cold," Spock noted.
Kirk's trademark smirk etched its way onto his face. "Not for long."
He eased slowly inside, watching Spock's face—it was at this moment he realized that the pair of chocolate-colored eyes staring up at him in ardent wonder were the most human pair of eyes he'd ever seen.
Reminding himself to breathe, he began to move slowly, weaving a soothing legato rhythm into the motion of their bodies. Spock, overwhelmed by the new sensations coursing through his body, relaxed back into the comfort of the bed and allowed Kirk to take over completely.
With the composed determination of a starship captain, Kirk controlled his movements, barely paying attention to his own body, making Spock's pleasure his primary concern. His face kept twisting in the most glorious ways; when Kirk tilted just right, Spock would involuntarily bite down on his lower lip and groan softly, and Kirk thought it was a wonder he didn't explode from the noise alone.
"Oh, God." The syllables escaped from Spock's lips with a rush of air. "Jim…"
Caught off-guard by the effect of his name whispered in rapture, Kirk gave a start. "Spock, I'm—"
"I know," said Spock, his hand resting on Kirk's thigh. "Don't hold back."
"Spock—"
Dazed, Spock watched the intense pleasure painted on Kirk's face, the silenced screams given voice in his wide, sky-blue eyes.
Unable to stop himself, Spock put two warm hands on Kirk's reddened cheeks as he lay there, panting. Kirk knew he was watching his thoughts, but he didn't care. He wanted him to know.
After a moment, Spock smiled at his visions. "Next time," he promised, and Kirk grinned.