So Small Chapter 14, a twilight fanfic

Disclaimer: Sadly, only this storyline belongs to little ol' me.

A/N: Okay yes I know I posted an author's note like what 3 days ago? Saying that I wouldn't be able to update because of my computer and it's viruses and my selfish older brother but…. HE'S IN MONTREAL FOR THE NIGHT! So, I get his computer to myself so I can sneak a chapter in and then delete it before he gets back and he'll never know! :]

So yeah, that's my story, oh and Happy New Year's Eve everyone!

Chapter 14

BPOV

It had been 2 weeks since Edward walked in on me and Mike. Ew.

After that first night, I didn't cry, I didn't feel anything. I was numb.

I would wake up, put on whatever clothes Alice laid out for me and go to class. After class I'd come back and do that class's homework and then head off to my next class. The only places I ever was anymore was my dorm room, the cafeteria, and whatever classroom my class was in. I didn't even stay to eat my lunch when I would be in the cafeteria; I'd take my food to my room and eat it for every meal of everyday.

I didn't want to see him.

Much to my disappointment I did have to see him a couple times a week thanks to the classes I shared with him. I used the same tactics I used in the beginning of the year when I thought he was mad at me. Making sure I came to class just before the bell, and leaving as soon as it rang. I became a clock watcher in those classes.

Every single time I saw him; the edges of the hole in my chest would burn and ache. I found myself wrapping my arms around myself often in a poor attempt to hold myself together.

The part that hurt the most was knowing he didn't love me. He couldn't. If he did he wouldn't have thought that I would actually cheat on him with Mike. Why would anyone cheat on Edward in the first place is beyond me.

But I knew this day was coming. I knew he'd realize he could do so much better than me. I knew I'd have to give him up someday. I couldn't have been that lucky to get to have him for longer than I did. Part of me wanted to be completely and utterly pissed at myself for opening myself up to that, all the while knowing it was going to end. But I just couldn't. Even though it hurt. Because when life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.

Alice and Rosalie wanted to jump on my not-ever-going-to-see-Edward (wince)-again-on-purpose wagon, but I wouldn't let them. I didn't want to ruin their relationships with Jasper and Emmett, and I knew that Edward would be hanging around them. I told them to just leave me be and continue on with their lives. At first they didn't listen and kept trying to include me. But when it didn't work they finally just realized that I would come around when I wanted to and I knew that that day wasn't coming anytime soon.

I still saw Emmett and Jasper from time to time. But that was mostly in the classes I had with them or when they would come to our room to pick up Alice and Rose or just to hang out. I didn't go to the coffee shop anymore because I knew Edward liked to go there, I had shown it to him after all.

Every once in a while Jacob would stop by to see how I was doing, I always felt better around him. It was like the hole in my chest would throb a little softer when he was near. He just had this aura around him, like the sun. But I didn't see him too much because he did have a girlfriend whom he was madly in love with.

It was about a week before the dance when Alice and Rosalie had finally had enough.

"Hey, Bella, want to go get some coffee with us?" Alice asked as she put on her coat. I sighed and looked at her. I shook my head. "And why not? You used to love going to the coffee shop."

I took a deep breath; it felt like I wasn't getting the oxygen I needed.

"I don't know, I'm just not in the mood for coffee." I said in a monotone voice. That's when Rose cracked.

"YOU ARE NEVER IN THE MOOD FOR ANYTHING ANYMORE!" She practically screamed. "Bella, seriously. Get off your fat ass and come get coffee with us. NOW!" Oh no. She was pissed.

"Rose, I—"

"NO! No, 'Rose' or 'Alice'. We are sick and tired of you moping around. I know you're hurting and I know that you miss him but listen to me. It wasn't your fault!" She said angrily. I was so sick and tired of everyone telling me it wasn't my fault.

"Actually, Rosalie, it is my fault. I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM!" I was crying now. Showing emotion. Something I hadn't done in two weeks. "THAT'S WHY HE DOESN'T LOVE ME! BECAUSE HE CAN'T BECAUSE THERE'S SOMEONE BETTER THAN ME OUT THERE FOR HIM!"

"You think he doesn't love you? Are you serious?" Alice asked scrunching her eyebrows together. I nodded.

"Bella, you don't know anything if you don't think he loves you."

What is she talking about? There was no way he actually loved me.

"Alice, if he loved me, he-he would have listened. He wo-wouldn't have t-thought I-I would have cheated o-on h-him!" I said through sobs.

"Oh my gosh! You two are SO RIDICULOUS! Bella, he loves you there's no doubt about that. Everyone can see it. He is exactly the way you are right now. He just sits there doing nothing, rocking himself back and forth. He loves you." Rosalie said, fed up now. I didn't know if she was telling the truth or not.

"Okay, say you're right, what am I supposed to do about it? He won't listen to me." I sighed. I wanted Edward to know that I loved him, even if he didn't love me back. I wanted him to know. I was already hurting so much, what more could the little pain of him not loving me back do?

"I've got the perfect plan…" Alice's face lit up. After she told us her plan and some convincing that I could do it, we started to put it into action.

We called over Emmett and Jasper, we would need their help.

"Wow, Bella is finally taking a stand against this! Finally someone is." Jasper said with a smile on his face.

"What are you talking about Jasper?" I asked him, what did he mean by finally?

"Edward's moping just like you are and we're sick of it. If Alice and Rosalie didn't try and talk some sense into one of the two of you guys, we were" They agreed to help us and we started to map everything out.

EPOV

I promised myself that I would stay away from Bella. She obviously needed that. I could tell she didn't want to be around me because she would only show up to class right before the bell would ring and leave the second it rang at the end of class. She was rarely in the cafeteria, and if she was she didn't stay to eat. She was never with Alice or Rosalie unless they were walking to a class together. She never went to the coffee shop anymore. She was avoiding me.

And she had every reason to avoid me. I had told her that I could never ever hurt her, and there I went and broke up with her because I was too stupid to listen to what she had to say. Why did I even believe Newton in the first place?

I had broken her trust and I knew better than anyone that trust means everything to Bella. If she thought I couldn't trust her enough to know she wouldn't cheat on me, why should she trust me not to do the same? Or trust me for anything at all?

I knew I'd never find anyone else like Bella and it got me really angry at myself. I knew I could only have a limited time with her, I mean there is no way I got lucky enough to spend the rest of my life with this girl, I had my time with her and now it's someone else's turn.

Emmett and Jasper still hung around me even though I was completely emotionless. They were at the girls' dorm a lot too but I didn't want to take them from that. I was alone a lot but that suited me fine. I told the guys exactly what happened and what I overheard. They told me to tell Bella that I overheard her say those things, but I knew it wouldn't help. She'd be angry that I had to actually hear her say it to believe her. They dropped it.

"EDWARD!" Emmett yelled in my ear.

"What?" I sighed.

"Will you please, please, please play Halo with me?" He was bouncing like a 4 year old on Christmas morning.

"No, ask Jasper"

"But I always play with him. Besides… he always beats me, I want you to play so I can kick your ass" he said with a smile.

"No."

"Okay Edward, I know you're still wallowing in self pity over the whole Bella-sitch, but come on!"

"No, Emmett. She deserves better than me. She deserves someone who will trust her no matter what, who will make her happy, who will love her unconditionally, who will understand her, who will fight for her. Unlike me." I said as I turned away from him.

"Why can't you be that guy? You did trust her; you just thought that she wanted something more. You did make her happy, unlike that sleaze ball Newton. You do love her unconditionally and don't try telling me you don't cause it's written all over your face. You do understand her, more than even Rosalie and Alice do. And as for fighting for her? Well I'm still waiting for you to do that myself." Said Jasper, jumping into the conversation. Yeah, Jasper is the insightful one. "Listen, dude. You're one of my best friends, and Bella's like my little sister and I hate seeing the two of you like this. It kills me. Especially when everyone can see you two are so clearly meant for each other."

"Oh yeah? Mike didn't."

"Only after he realized that Bella definitely didn't want him. He hasn't even looked at her since. And did you notice that both Lauren and Jessica have been laying off you. Especially after the whole thing with Bella?" Jasper was right. Lauren hadn't come on to me in a long time and Newton didn't even look happy anymore. I never saw him look at Bella; I looked at her all the time. Maybe they were right. Maybe I needed to fight for her. But I just didn't know how.

Then Jasper's phone started to ring. It was Alice.

"Hey…really?… me and Emmett?…okay… yeah… we'll be right over… I love you" He closed his phone. "Well, Alice and Rose want me and Emmett over to watch movies. Bella's going to be there, so… I'm guessing you don't want to come?" I shook my head. They said goodbye and were out the door.

How could I fight for Bella? What would make her think… no let her know that I still love her and that I'm sorry?

BPOV

It was now 2 days until the dance. A full 3 weeks since the incident. Rosalie and Alice were still making me go to it, even though I refused. They got me with the fact that I've been a zombie for almost a month and totally owe them. Whatever.

I was a little less zombish this past week because of our master plan that we put together. But it still hurt to see Edward. Now that I wasn't as numb, I was crying a lot more often, like when I would get back from a class with him in it. I started eating my meals in the cafeteria again but to my surprise, Edward was never in the cafeteria. He was obviously avoiding me. But I would get my say in this.

Over the next 2 days I practiced my part of the plan until I could execute it without a flaw. This was difficult because the easiest place for me to practice was a place where Edward is almost constantly present. I didn't want him to know what I was up to so if I ever wanted to practice there I always had to have a look out. To make sure that he didn't walk in on me and to make sure that I could get out in time without having to talk to him.

The day of the winter formal dance had finally come and I was as nervous as ever. Tonight we were going to execute our plan and hopefully, maybe I'd have my boyfriend back. But I didn't let myself get too hopeful.

Rosalie did my hair that night. It looked absolutely stunning. She put the front pieces of my hair back into a ponytail and curled them, leaving a couple of my most front pieces down and switching their sides and curling them. The rest of the hair under the ponytail was curled in about 1 ½ inch curls and very loose. The whole thing looked loose but was very secure. Alice did my make up very lightly with pink and red tones.

Alice looked amazing in her silver dress. She had long silver drop earrings and had silver sparkly make up that made her look like a star. Rose had smoky eyes and a shimmery lip along with diamond studs and necklace to match. Usually I felt like I didn't belong when I stood next to them, but surprisingly tonight, I felt like I belonged with them. I looked like it too. Emmett and Jasper came to pick us up, Jasper having a silver vest to match Alice's dress and Emmett with a complete black tux to match Rose. It was the sweetest thing when they showed up with a rose each for Alice and Rosalie. I smiled at that.

"Don't think we forgot you, Bella" Emmett said as he also handed me a red rose.

"What? You guys didn't have to do this you know" I said to them with a chuckle.

"Yes we did. Since a certain dumbass is being all… well… dumbass…ish… we decided that were going to share you." Emmett said with his goofy smile. I was confused.

"On the way to the dance you'll be escorted by Emmett on one arm while Rose is on the other. But on the way back, you will be sharing me with Alice." Jasper said as Emmett scooped my elbow in his. I was so touched by this, I even started tearing up. They were such great friends to me even when I was a zombie. And they still loved me now.

"Aww you guys!" I said as I grabbed them all in a group hug. "You are the best friends anyone could ever ask for."

We stayed like that for a few minutes just enjoying our company, and I don't think it was just me, but it felt like someone was missing from the group, and we all knew who it was.

We walked into the dance and it looked like winter threw up on the gym. Everything was white and silver. There were fake trees on the sides, with fake snow all around except for on the dance floor. The music was playing and everyone was dancing around. We found a table and set our things down. The boys looked like they wanted to dance with their girlfriends so I told them to go ahead. I'd be fine. They left and I was alone.

A couple people came over to say hi to me and tell me I looked great. For some of the people I had to fake the smile but for some people it was genuine. Angela came over with her boyfriend Ben Cheney, she looked absolutely beautiful. They offered to stay with me but I declined and told them to go have fun. Normally I would have loved the company, but I just wanted to be alone. Jake and Leah came over and sat down for a little bit, but then their song came on and they had to leave. I was so happy that Jake found someone who he loved completely and she loved him back.

Towards the end of the dance I knew I had to start with our plan. I started looking for him, just to make sure that he was in the gym because if he wasn't, then this wouldn't work. I really hoped that Jasper and Emmett talked him into coming. When I saw him my heart stopped. Did he really have to look so good tonight? This would be hard enough as it is. But at least he was here.

Right on cue Alice and Rosalie showed up and I saw Emmett and Jasper talking to the person that was going to help us work this out.

"Are you okay Bella?" Alice asked when she got to the table.

"A little nervous, but don't worry, I'm not going to bail out. I need this." They nodded and asked me if I was ready. I took a deep breath and walked to my spot. Well it was now or never.

EPOV

I am asleep. Correction, I was asleep until Emmett decided to yell in my ear and wake me up.

"Edward!" Emmett yelled. I groaned and rolled over to see him in a tux and Jasper fixing his tie in the mirror. Right, tonight was the night of the dance. I had a tux, but it was for when I was going to take Bella to the dance. I had no use for it now. The dance was pointless to go to if I couldn't be with her. "Dude, get dressed, you're going to the dance."

"No, I'm not. I was going to go with Bella, but apparently that's not happening. And anyway Bella's probably not going either." I said as I rolled over, wanting sleep to take me over again. Sleeping was so much easier, in my dreams I could be with Bella. I also couldn't feel the pain that I was constantly in while I slept.

"Actually she is. Rosalie and Alice are forcing her to go. So, now you have a reason to go." Jasper said from across the room.

"Actually no. That just gives me a reason not to go. She doesn't want to see me."

"You're going Eddie. Even if I have to dress you and drag you myself. Which really wouldn't be ideal since I'm escorting both Bella and Rose to the dance since someone won't just go over and apologize."

"If needed I can switch escorting with you so that you have a free arm for Edward, you can walk Bella home."

I didn't want to hear them fighting over who would get to walk my—wait she's not mine anymore. Ugh! I didn't need to hear them fighting over who gets to walk with Bella. I wanted to be the one but knew that wouldn't help anything.

I finally just got out of my bed and went to go get in the shower. I really didn't want Emmett to dress me and then bring me to the dance. Especially the dressing part… ew. But the sad thing is I know that he'll do it too.

The guys left sometime while I was in the shower. It was 7:15 when I got out, 15 minutes before the dance started. I reluctantly took my tux out of my closet and laid it on the bed. Tonight was going to be a hard night. Bella would no doubt look amazing and that would only make the pain worse. Then I'd have to watch every guy in that gym fawn over her and hit on her and stare at her like she was a piece of meat for the whole night. This was going to be the best night of my life.

By the time I fully got into my tux it was 7:30. Yeah I know, it took me a little while but I kept getting distracted. Every time I looked at the tux it made me think of Bella because it matched her dress. I had never seen it but she told me it was a deep rose color. So I went with a similar color in my tux's vest and tie. I put some deodorant on and slipped another jacket on over my tux so I didn't freeze.

It was 7:45 by the time I walked over to the gym. When I walked in I didn't even notice the decorations because sitting at a table to my left was the most beautiful creature ever. She had parts of her hair up with some loose and it was all curled. The hair was a mahogany color. She was wearing a deep and shimmery rose dress that hugged her perfectly. Her skin looked like ivory against the dress she wore. She had perfectly plump glossed lips and long dark eyelashes. She was glancing around the room, sitting at the table by herself. Some people had come to talk to her but they left soon. She glanced over in my direction, not at me but in the same vicinity. It was then that I saw her luscious chocolate brown eyes that were masked with sadness and fake enthusiasm. It was Bella. The pain in my heart seared when I saw how beautiful she looked and when I realized that I had absolutely no claim on her anymore.

I sat down at an empty table and waited through the dance. I knew that there was some reason that Emmett and Jasper made me come but I couldn't think of any. It was nearing the end of the dance when the music stopped and the dj started talking.

"Hey now we've got a pretty girl up here who wants to say something to a special someone in this room. So if everyone could be quiet for a couple moments I'd really appreciate it. Now here's BELLA!" My heart stopped. Bella was up there. What was she going to say? Who was she going to say it to?

"U-umm. Hi everyone. You all have probably noticed that I haven't exactly been acting like myself lately. I've been emotionless, quiet, and… fairly anti-social. And that's all because of an incident that took place a couple weeks ago. My boyfriend at the time walked in on me and another guy, but the thing was. It wasn't my fault. He forced himself on me. I was trying to push him off of me when Edward came in" my head snapped up when I heard my name. She was talking to me. Me. I forced my way through the crowd so that I could see her properly. I didn't know if she could see me.

"And what I came up here to do was to tell you Edward. I –" she looked down and took a deep breath. "I love you" My heart went into hyperspeed. Did I just hear right? She… She loves me?

"I realized it when I was yelling at the guy who forced himself on me. I blurted it out, but I realized that… I've always loved you. And I wanted you to know that I do. And that I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have someone like you in my life. And I wish I still did." She stopped talking. I was about to go up there and confess my love to her but she started again. "This is for you, Edward" I cocked my head to the side and scrunched my eyebrows together. What was she doing? "Remember that night at karaoke? I refused to sing? Well, I was scared to sing in front of you. Scared that you were too perfect for me and that if I sang, you'd realize it. This is how I felt when we were together" Music started playing in the background. She was going to sing.

I've never been the kind that you'd call lucky
Always stumbling' around in circles
But I must have stumbled into something
Look at me Am I really alone with you
I wake up feeling like my life's worth living
Can't recall when I last felt that way
Guess it must be all this love you're giving
Never knew never knew it could be like this
But I guess

Some hearts They just get all the right breaks
Some hearts have the stars on their side
Some hearts, They just have it so easy
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes
Some hearts just get lucky, lucky sometimes

Now who'd have thought someone like you could love me
You're the last thing my heart expected
Who'd have thought I'd ever find somebody
Someone who someone who makes me feel like this
Well I guess

Some hearts They just get all the right breaks
Some hearts have the stars on their side, yes
Some hearts, They just have it so easy
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes
Ohhhhhh

Even hearts like mine
Get lucky, lucky sometimes

Even hearts like mine
Ohhhhhhhh

Some hearts, They just get all the right breaks
Some hearts have the stars on their side
Some hearts, They just have it so easy
Some hearts just get lucky sometimes

She had the most amazing voice I had ever heard. She must have practiced this. By the end she was in tears. The crowd erupted in applause. There was a faint smile on her lips. She stepped off of the stage and the music started blaring again. I rushed through the crowd anxiously, trying to find her. I had to tell her I loved her. She loved me, still cared for me, still wanted me.

I found Alice and Rosalie over by their table. They smiled as they saw me.

"Where's Bella?" I asked frantically.

"She just went outside… go get her, Edward" Alice said with a smile on her face.

A/N: okay I know it's kind of a cliffy. But, if I kept going this chapter would be wayyyy too long and it's already 10 pages on word. So I'll keep writing and I may get another chance to put another chapter up before my brother goes to school but who knows. So please review! They make me happy :]