Hi all! Well, it's been awhile, and I'm so sorry for not posting sooner. I've definately been meaning to, but I suppose I've been busy. Anyhow, I really enjoyed writing these parts. The first is a session with Yuki; it's short, but I really like how it wraps up.
The second part begins an interlude that'll conclude with the next chapter. Unfortunately, it's a little bit longer than I'd like (personally, I kind of prefer staying closer to the session format), but I think it's necessary to move the story along. Moreover, on a major plus side, it has one of my favorite characters to write, Ayame, so all in all, this was a lot of fun to write!
In any event, I feel rather sad, because this story is coming to an end soon. I just wanted to thank everyone for having read thus far and or having written reviews. Also, I hope you all continue to enjoy the story as you begin to read its final chapters. Now, without further adieu, another chapter for your reading pleasure...
Patient – Sohma Yuki; Session #126
My session with Yuki lasted for about ten minutes. He came into my office with a faint grin as he greeted me: "Good afternoon, Kazuki."
"Hello Yuki…" I muttered. Kyou had only left a little while before, and I was still lost in thought and heavy with depression.
"I know we have a session scheduled today, but I unfortunately can't stay."
"Oh?"
"I would have called earlier, but it just came up, really. I'm very sorry for the inconvenience."
"No, it's okay," I said.
"Also, I wanted to say goodbye. I heard that you'll be leaving, and since this would've been our last session, I wanted to thank you for your time. You've been a big help to me." His smile widened and I could see the relieved satisfaction in his expression; he was very happy that he would no longer have to endure any more sessions with me.
"You're welcome, Yuki," I managed to say pleasantly and he turned to go. Yet, as he did, for some unknown reason something snapped in me. Suddenly, I asked, "Yuki, how was I 'a big help' to you?"
"What?" Yuki spun around innocently, but his expression indicated that he was not expecting such an interrogation.
"You just thanked me and said I was 'a big help' to you. How was I?"
"Well, you listened to me…" Yuki began awkwardly.
"And? How did that help you?"
"Because, well…you gave me some useful advice, too."
"Did I? Tell me then, how did you apply my advice to your life?"
"Kazuki, I really have to go now. I'm sorry," Yuki apologized, desperate to leave. I, however, would not let him.
"Don't worry, Yuki. This will only take a few more minutes. Then I'll let you go," I told him before I went on, "Now, how was my advice useful if you didn't apply it to your own life?"
"I didn't say I didn't apply it," Yuki said slightly defensively.
"So you did? How so? Give me an example."
"I – I can't think of anything at the moment, Kazuki."
"I see. So then my advice wasn't really useful, was it?"
"I didn't say that…"
"Exactly," I stated, "you didn't say that. Instead, you said I gave you some useful advice. Why did you say that if it wasn't true?"
"I didn't – I – I don't understand what you're trying to do, Kazuki. I was just giving you a compliment," Yuki admitted, defeated.
"But you're lying. You're making things up just so that I'll see you as pleasant and like you. But I can tell its only idle flattery. You don't mean any of it."
"That's not true, Kazuki – "
I cut him off with a laugh. "Yuki, I'm a psychiatrist. I can see right through it. I've seen through it since our first session together. You can't stand coming to see me and frankly, I don't think you really like me at all."
"Of course I like you – "
"Will you just be honest?" I demanded, "I don't care. Tell me the truth – pretend I'm Ayame if you have to. Tell me that you hate coming here and that you find me annoying and pretentious and a troublemaker. Tell me that you don't take anything I tell you seriously and that you don't even trust me, because you know Akito snooped through my patient files once. Tell me that you're actually exceedingly happy that I'll be leaving, because then I'll finally be off your case and you can go back to redirecting all your own self-hatred toward Kyou without a guilty conscience. Just be honest."
Yuki had turned bright pink in embarrassment. He stared at me for awhile, not sure of what to say. Slowly, he started, "It's not – I don't really think – I mean – well, all right, I don't really like coming to see you for our sessions."
"Okay then," I replied with satisfaction.
But it was like I had opened the flood gates, because Yuki wasn't done; "And I suppose I don't really like you either. No, I – no, I'm sure I don't like you. I find you to be out of touch and disrespectful and yes, annoying. I don't agree with any of your advice, primarily because I find it to be idiotic and impractical, even if you did go to some elite institutions. I also believe that you're patronizing and that you think you somehow know more than the rest of us simply because you spent some time abroad. And, yes, I don't trust you, because you lied to me, which makes you a hypocrite too, who'd just as quickly lie to save face, but then ridicules me for doing the same. So, to be honest, because that's what you wanted, I really can't wait until you leave and I won't have to deal with you anymore. And, as for Kyou – well, he is the cat, whether you like it or not, and that's the reason why I hate him." Yuki exhaled when he finished and, glancing back at me, he looked even more embarrassed than before. "Kazuki, I'm sorry, I…well, goodbye." He stammered off before quickly retreating to the door and leaving my office.
All it took was ten minutes – ten minutes following one hundred and twenty five meetings together, and I finally had a breakthrough. Maybe it was brief and wouldn't last, but for a short time, I got my cousin Yuki to finally be honest and to stop worrying about what I would think because of it. As I watched him go, I smiled.
The next day at around seven o'clock in the morning, I was abruptly awoken. "Good morning, Kazuki! Rise and shine!" came the gleeful voice of Ayame, who was standing in my bedroom doorway.
I groaned and had trouble opening my eyes. "How did you get in here?"
"Dear Aunt Tomiko was kind enough to lend me her key to your lovely home," Ayame explained. "Now, get up, won't you? It's such a beautiful day – why waste it in bed? Besides, with your departure looming in the very near future, I thought it was about time that I finally save you from this deathly estate so that your memories of Japan aren't completely dismal. After all, you can't even remember the last time you saw the outside, can you? So, we're going to make a grand day of it, and I'll take you everywhere that's anywhere! Oh, and you'll finally get to see my little shop – I'm sure you'll love it!"
Groggily, I sat up in bed and glanced at the clock on my end table. "Ayame, it's seven o'clock in the morning…" I grumbled between yawning, "And I have an appointment at ten thirty with Momiji."
"Why, I cancelled all of your appointments for today! After all, I couldn't leave all that hard work to you - how inconsiderate do you think I am, Kazuki?"
"Ayame…" I sighed, resting my head against the backboard of my bed. Another session with Momiji had yet again been interfered with, although I suppose I was somewhat grateful that it was Ayame and not Akito impinging on it.
"Hurry, hurry! Every moment that passes is a moment that's gone to us forever!" Ayame sort of sang as he drifted out of my room, apparently expecting me to be following soon after. And I, despite my deep desire to crawl back under the covers for a couple more hours of sleep, easily succumbed to my cousin's whimsical wishes.
A few hours later, Ayame and I found ourselves in a small restaurant having lunch. Admittedly, I had brightened much since Ayame first awoke me and was glad to be out for once and enjoying what was a beautiful, albeit rather brisk, late autumn Saturday. We sat at a table by the windows, overlooking the busy streets, and it was oddly refreshing staring at the different passersby, all of whom looked lively and pleasant.
"Now, I know I've asked you this a dozen times already, but tell me again, Kazuki dear, what did you think of my fabulous little shop?" Ayame asked after having finished a couple bites of his meal, "And no changing the subject this time!"
I cringed a bit unintentionally; had I been that obvious avoiding the topic since we visited the shop earlier that day? Uneasily, I said, "Well, uh, Ayame, I think it's, uh, commendable that you and Mine are comfortable enough to explore your sexualities in such a – "
"Oh, no, no!" Ayame was now the one cringing as he waved his hands in protest. "Please, none of that psychiatrist stuff – it's so boring, no offense of course. What I want to know is what you think – personally!"
"Er…" I frowned. "To be honest, Ayame, it's really not for me…"
"Ah, I can't say I'm surprised," Ayame smiled, "You're all alike, aren't you? You intellectuals, that is. Yuki, Hatori, you – all the same! So incredibly stuffy!" At this, I grimaced; I guess I didn't like the idea of being compared to Yuki and Hatori more than I thought. Maybe Ayame noticed, for he added, "Although, I must say, Kazuki, at least you have potential. I'm starting to think my dear little brother and my closest, closest friend are both lost causes. It's so terribly unfortunate that you'll be leaving soon – I could have made something out of you!"
I couldn't help but laugh at this and assured him, "Well, I'll come back and visit some time, Ayame. And you can visit me, too, if you'd like."
"Sure, sure," Ayame murmured unconvinced, fiddling with the straw in his glass. "I hate to admit this, but part of me does wish Akito had stayed mad at you."
"Yes, well, I suppose even Akito can't stay angry forever," I remarked abrasively, glancing out the window; the last thing I wanted to talk about was Akito.
"Oh, how terrible of me! To think, I would wish such a thing on you, just so you'd stay. Still, it was quite surprising, seeing her come around like that! I almost couldn't believe it myself, and I'll believe anything. After all, just this Wednesday she was talking about locking you up somewhere at the estate just so that you'd never leave! Feeding you through a slot in a door! Sounds terrible, doesn't it?"
"Yes…" I trailed off uncomfortably, suddenly losing my appetite and pushing my plate away.
"But, you must be quite wonderful at this therapy thing, Kazuki, because the next day – from what Tori-san tells me – she did a complete turn around, saying she overreacted and you can do whatever you want. I swear, no one's seen anything like it! It all seems rather amusing, I have to say." Picking at the last few things on his plate, he asked, "Shall we order desert?"
"I'm not hungry anymore."
"Oh…" Ayame slumped in his chair and studied me through his narrowed snake eyes. He looked suddenly anxious to lighten the mood, disappointed in himself for having brought such a serious note to our otherwise carefree conversation. Perking up, he declared, "Well, let's forget all that! What shall we do now? Something fun, of course…" Placing his finger to the side of his chin, he pondered for a moment, before his face lit up. "Oh, I know! Let's go visit Yuki at his school!"
"They still hold classes on Saturdays?"
"No, not anymore, but Gure-san tells me that all the students are working hard to put on their adorable school festival! Doesn't that sound like fun?"
"Yes, but I don't know if we should really interfere. We might embarrass him."
"Don't be silly, Kazuki, darling!" Ayame stood up proudly. "How could anyone be embarrassed when they have a big brother as fabulous as I am?" Before I could protest, my cousin called to the waiter, "Check, please!" Then, he stated, "Anyhow, it doesn't matter what you say, Kazuki, I've made up my mind. Besides, it's about time that you see all you missed out on in your teenage years!" With that, Ayame flashed me a wide grin, and I immediately knew I had been defeated once more.
