Oh gosh, I can't believe it's over - the last chapter! To be honest, I wasn't that sad when I actually finished it, but now the act of posting it is making me rather depressed! I suppose because I've loved exploring all these characters, it's a bit hard letting go. However, all (hopefully) good things have to come to an end, and so I give to you the conclusion.
This final chapter contains the second part to Interlude 5, the highlight of which is (of course) a conversation between Akito and Kazuki. Following this is the epilogue. I won't say more until after you all get to read it, except for the fact that I'm really happy with how it ends. In addition, following this chapter I will be posting an additional "chapter" with some of my personal insights and thoughts on this story, which I hope will address some of the great comments that people have left...
And that leads me to the most important part: THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!!! I apologize for going cap crazy for a moment there, but I just really wanted to express how grateful I've been to all those who have taken the time to read my story and an especial thanks for those who also reviewed. All your comments have been greatly appreciated and have made writing this fanfic even more enjoyable. I'm glad that I've been able to give you all a pleasant reading experience, too. I hope, therefore, that this ending does not disappoint and I am eager to hear and discuss your thoughts (both positive and negative, as long as its constructive) on the story as a whole!
It is then, with a somewhat heavy heart, that I give you the final chapter of Family Therapy (a title which has admittedly grown on me). Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!
Within only a couple hours, I was completely inebriated. Truthfully, I had never been drunk before, so I found it to be the oddest sensation at first, a strange mix of exhilaration and nausea. In fact, it took me a while to realize that I was drunk. In the beginning, I recall saying, without restraint, whatever happened to randomly pop into my mind and going on ridiculous tangents about nonsense, much to the amusement of some of my younger cousins, who had never seen me in such a pathetic, unraveled state. I later learned from Haru that Hatori, too, got a small kick out of seeing me make, to put it plainly, an ass of myself.
It was not until the sake really hit me that I realized how drunk I actually was. Stumbling out into the corridor with a terrible migraine and much queasiness, I hoped to make it to the bathroom before I threw up. However, given that in my stupor I found it even more difficult to walk in my kimono, I never made it and instead, vomited in the hallway. After several minutes of this and unable to stand, I slumped against the wall, sweaty and very sick.
I think I might have dozed off a bit, for I remember being woken by the ringing of a gong down the hall to my left, the sound of which was so painful to my sensitive ears and throbbing head that it induced another fit of vomiting. I knew the gong signaled that it was now time for the cursed members of the zodiac to attend their special banquet in the adjourning room to the main dining area. However, it was then that I heard other voices, those of Akito and Hatori, conversing quietly in the room just a few feet away.
To be honest, I could not make out at all what they were saying, but something in me must have snapped, for I had this uncontrollable desire to see them and to speak to them before they made their way to the jyuunishi's exclusive feast. I struggled to my feet and staggered to the room, sliding open the door and stumbling in. As soon as I did, both glanced over, Hatori looking at me with almost incomprehension and Akito's face growing distorted at my disturbance.
"What are you doing here?" Akito questioned crossly.
"I don't know..." I trailed off, gaining a bit of balance as I walked further in.
"I'll take care of him," Hatori, regaining himself, told Akito as he stood up from where he knelt across from his "god" and approached me. "He's just had too much to drink."
"No, I'm fine, Hatori," I assured my cousin with an unusual laugh that almost sounded like a giggle. "Just fine, fine, fine, fine..." I must have said "fine" at least a half dozen times, and each time I said it, Akito appeared to grow more and more irritable.
"Get him out of here!" she screeched suddenly; maybe she sensed something awful was about to happen.
"Yes," Hatori immediately complied, taking me by the arm with concern.
It was then, looking at Hatori, that I asked perhaps the most stupid question I could possibly have thought of: "Hatori, please tell me, because I must know, is this the room where Akito cut out your eye?"
I don't think I ever saw Hatori as white as I saw him after I posed to him my inquiry. "What?" He released me from his grip and simply stared at me in shock.
"She threw a vase at you, didn't she? And just like that, your eye was gone for good! Blood must have been everywhere, yes?" I chuckled at this – for some reason, it struck me as funny. "You must really, really hate her."
"No, I – " Hatori seemed as if he was becoming undone, quite the rarity.
"Enough!" Akito interjected maliciously and bitterly declared, "It was her fault!"
I stared at Akito vacantly. My body was numb. Plainly I said, as if stumbling unwittingly upon a new revelation, "No, it wasn't Kana's fault. It was your fault, Akito. You're the one who did it all...she was just a victim, too, just like Hatori was..." Akito's mouth twitched slightly as she clenched her fist with fury. As for myself, I felt my hands begin to tremble, and then my whole body began to shake, sparked by a burst of anger that had been hidden deep within me. Although knowing I had already said too much, I could not bring myself to stop; the words needed to come out. Losing control (thanks, I'm sure, to all the alcohol I had consumed), I shouted, "You ruined his life! You ruin everyone's life!"
"Kazuki," Hatori, worriedly began, stepping forward a bit with the hope of calming me, "Please…"
Venomously, I abruptly turned my gaze toward him, and I glared at him with icy eyes. "No!" I exclaimed passionately. "And you, Hatori – you know more than I do about what she has done and you do nothing. All this time, you have watched as others have suffered at her hands; oh, you know it's wrong, but you stay silent nonetheless. You are just as bad as she, if not worse – you are a coward! A pathetic coward! Oh, but the blood is on your hands, too!"
"I said enough!" screamed an enraged Akito suddenly. "How dare you defy me, Kazuki? I am your god! How dare you?"
"Because nobody else will!" I shouted back. I then became quiet. My body still shaking, I whispered, "And I – I can't be quiet anymore. It's not in me…"
Akito stared at me with bulging, wide eyes, her veins visible against the whiteness of her forehead. For a fleeting second, she looked as if a beast ready to tear apart the creature which threatened her. Yet, as she studied me standing before her practically convulsing, a cruel smirk formed upon her face, and she slowly walked toward me. "But Kazuki, you're afraid of me too, aren't you?"
I clenched my teeth together and became resolute at once, staring Akito straight in the eyes, "No – I am not afraid of you! Not of you! Not anymore."
Akito scowled for a moment, but then she grinned once more, regaining her confidence. "Yes, you are Kazuki. Why else would you be shaking so? It is because you fear your god after all. Do not be ashamed."
I lowered my eyes to the ground. Despite my efforts, I could not keep from trembling uncontrollably. And with her staring at me with such cruel insanity, I was certain that I was terrified. So, I admitted, "Maybe I am frightened of you, Akito. But I don't care, anymore. I will not be a coward – not like Hatori and the others! There will be no blood on my hands!"
"Fool!" Akito yelled, striking me hard, causing me to lose my balance and fall to the ground. I was surprised of how strong she was, given her frailty all the time, but I suppose neither my drunkenness nor my kimono helped matters. "You must listen to me! I am the head of this family – the core of our curse! I know what is best! And you are but a bastard, a stain upon the Sohma name, who thinks so ignorantly that he can be better than his god!"
"I don't care what you say. I don't care. And I don't feel sorry for you, either. I am sick of feeling sorry for you. We are all born into this world knowing we will die; you aren't special!"
"Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Akito now ranted furiously, and she gave me a few hard kicks in my midsection that caused me to throw up once more.
"Kazuki!" Hatori called out in great concern.
"Stay where you are!" Akito demanded, panting and sweating.
Hatori listened, but a glint of worry flickered in his eyes. He implored softly, "Please, Kazuki, please apologize."
"Never," I declared rather dramatically, struggling to my feet, and slurring a bit, "I will never apologize! If anything, she should apologize to me! She should apologize to us all!"
"You damn, insolent fool!" Akito yelled, she too beginning to tremble in rage. "You will suffer for this, suffer because you are trying to steal them all away from me! And why? Why would you do such a terrible thing, when I am the one who bears most of the weight of this family's curse?"
"No, Akito, no; this family bears no such curse. We could be happy, but you won't let us. You are this family's curse."
At this, Akito shrieked violently, "Lucifer!" With nothing else around her, she took off her sandals and threw them at me, one of them hitting the wall and the other knocking over a vase, causing it to crash into pieces on the floor.
Emotionally exhausted, still very drunk, and quite out of breath, I crumbled to the floor and felt myself begin to cry. Truthfully, I could not remember the last time I had done so – I must have been four or five – but that did not stop the tears from coming. Akito cackled at seeing me in such a vulnerable condition and said with satisfaction, "You are so very weak, Kazuki. What a pitiful fallen angel you've turned out to be." Amused all of a sudden, for she now sensed she had the upper-hand, Akito drew even closer to me as a smirk appeared on her face. "But I can be a forgiving god, Kazuki. I can take you back. Beg me for my mercy, Kazuki – beg for it..."
She hunched over me, drawing her right hand close to the left side of my face. However, at the moment her boney, white fingers graced by cheek, something all together bizarre came over me, and I broke out into a hysterical fit of laughter. At once, Akito pulled her hand back, truly taken off guard, while Hatori stood by equally as puzzled. Yet, I could not stop laughing. I began to clutch my stomach, for it had begun to ache I was laughing so hard. I tried to say something – anything – but I simply could not. So, I just went on with my hysterics.
But then, to my surprise, Akito began to laugh, too, the same kind of laughter I was. Soon, it became too much for her feeble body and she collapsed to the floor, leaning herself against me for support. Her fit of laughter, however, did not cease for even a second. I was sure Hatori, quite confused and alarmed, thought we had both completely cracked, and so he slipped out of the room as we remained hysterical on the floor.
When at last we calmed down somewhat, we propped our backs against the wall and sprawled our legs out on the floor in front of us, still rather giggly. "You know," I began almost breathlessly, "In the Vietnamese zodiac, the cat replaces the rabbit as the fourth animal, leaving the rabbit as the odd man out. Maybe you should throw Momiji in a cell instead!"
Akito mused over this for a while and began menacingly laughing again. Then, all of sudden, she grew very serious, her glassy eyes gazing up at the ceiling. Gravely, she said. "All I ever wanted was to be loved forever…."
There was a time when I would have leaped at such a breakthrough, but I was too drunk then to think much of her statement. So, I scoffed, "Love, of course. It's always about love."
Seeing me give into my laughter, she too broke out of her melancholy trance and started laughing again. Eventually, she relaxed somewhat, turned to me with a sly smile, and said, "'Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.'"
I blinked and let out a chuckle. "What?"
"It was in that book you gave me to read, but in the good part before Jesus came and ruined it all," she explained.
"You mean, the Old Testament?"
"Yes," she grinned widely, "That's it. He was a much a better God than Jesus was. Even Lum can not match Him. I was especially impressed by the bit about Sodom and Gomorrah and all those plagues in Egypt."
"But...well..." I trailed off, not knowing how to respond; I was utterly defeated.
Eyes smirking, she continued, "I suppose you have been a faithful subject, Kazuki, for you have showed me a God worthy of mimicking..."
Epilogue
It's now the beginning of February; in a short time, if everything remains unaltered, Kyou will be locked away in a small cell for the rest of his life. And despite my continuing efforts to encourage logic and reason, it appears as if my family will never learn to rid themselves of all their misery and hatred and live positive, uplifting existences. As for myself, I find that I'm becoming more and more consumed by depression. Yet, I'm trapped by my hope, which admittedly has begun to diminish significantly but still refuses to be snuffed out completely. My mother continues to insist that I was born to save my family, but I no longer pay her divination any heed at all.
In the end, nothing's changed; it's still the exact same sessions with the exact same results over and over again accumulating into absolutely nothing. However, I have changed. No longer do I carry with me such idealistic optimism but, instead, have become very jaded and bitter. Furthermore, with every passing day, it seems as if my despair increases and I find myself dwelling on how unfair it is that Kyou will soon be banished from our family forever, as well as on how woefully inadequate and powerless I turned out to be, despite all my learning. Perhaps I am just paying the punishment for having defied my "god," Akito imprisoning me in my own little cell, one that she knows I'll never be able to break free from no matter how much I secretly yearn to. Or maybe I, too, am simply just another victim of the Sohma family curse – the most cursed one of all.
End
That's all, folks! Thanks so much again! Also, stay tuned for some thoughts on this story posted in the next chapter.
