The Little Things Give You Away
Ch. 19
Hey folks! Sorry…. It's been an indecently long time since my last update, hasn't it? Well, I come as the bearer of even more bad news. It relates, you see, to Lent. You know, that time when Catholics give something up that is harmful to them, like coffee or meat. Well, I'm not the least bit catholic, so that doesn't apply to me at all. But since a lot of my friends were giving things up, even the non-catholic ones, I decided to give something up too, as an exercise of my flabby and severely underused self-control. At first I thought about sugar, but that was OUT OF THE QUESTION, seeing as I need it to survive. So the next option was my only other, wholly consuming and utterly hurtful addiction… you got it, fanfiction. So now I have to do something else in class and during break, besides reading/writing/thinking about fics. There are only two exceptions to this rule: I can type up something I've already written, and I can write a special fic I'm planning for Nikkiacat, since her birthday was the 26th (wish her a happy b-day, anyone!)
So anyways, to make a long story short. I won't be able to update for 40 days, so I'm treating you to a quick update, maybe even a double update, since I already had these two chaps written. Here you go guys! And hopefully, I'll be able to type up the next chap and give you a quick double update. Thanks for the patience!
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The backseat of the car was cozy and warm. Light had arranged for a driver to take himself and Ryuzaki to and from the restaurant seeing as it was a somewhat formal event. Besides that, he just didn't feel like driving. Now he sat in the back of the luxury SUV, leaning back against the leather seats. His napkin-crane was neatly folded flat and tucked into his pocket.
Ryuzaki sat next to him, somehow managing to pull his feet onto the seat while buckled in. Light wanted to scold him for ruining the upholstery, but he couldn't be bothered. At least he wasn't barefoot. (Much to Ryuzaki's dismay, his feet were stuffed into a pair of Light's old shoes. Hey, at least they matched the button-up and slacks Light had forced him into.)
Light couldn't help but notice how small the backseat felt, how close Ryuzaki seemed. He thought these SUV's were supposed to be spacious. Next time he'd get a limo. Not that sitting next to Ryuzaki was all that unpleasant of anything.
"So… err, did you enjoy dinner?"
Those big, dark eyes swiveled his way. Ryuzaki's gaze was so intense sometimes.
"Ah, well… I did not eat much of it, Light."
As if confirming his story, Ryuzaki's stomach gurgled in protest.
Light nearly face palmed. "What? You didn't? I paid good money for that food, Ryuzaki!" He was too busy flirting with the girls to eat, hissed some monstrous beast in the back of Light's head. Crushing it down, Light rubbed his temples and looked at his friend. "Did you at least get a to-go box?"
Ryuzaki pointed to a white Styrofoam container stashed in the floorboards. "Light can have it. I… don't like it."
"Then why didn't you order something else?"
"I did say I wished they had desserts on the menu."
So all that about the sweets hadn't just been a lame setup for a pickup line? Come to think of it, that pizza Ryuzaki had ordered had been a dessert pizza…. And it was only sweet things he'd blown up in the microwave. Was he some sort of sugar junkie?
"Do you only eat sweets or something, Ryuzaki?"
A strange smile crept across Ryuzaki's face. He raised one finger and placed it on his lower lip. "I would prefer to. They taste better."
How… childish. Light should have known. As well as living at the hospital and having Watari clean for him, Ryuzaki probably ate nothing but vending-machine candy and hospital cafeteria cake. It seemed as though 'L' was allowed to do whatever he wanted to so long as he kept solving cases.
Light sighed. "Well, I promised to feed you tonight, and I can't in good conscience let you go hungry." He leaned forward to speak to the driver. "John, can you take us to the little café off 3rd?"
"Yes, sir."
"Thanks." Light leaned back and looked over at Ryuzaki. "You'd better be happy, you royal pain in the ass."
"Thank you…. Light."
Light's favorite café was a tiny place off of 3rd street with a distinctly coffeehouse feel. The dim lights, soft jazz music and plush couches or armchairs made the place seem homey and welcoming. This was a place for softly spoken, long, philosophical debates over coffee and an éclair. Had Light been here with anyone else, he'd have almost called it romantic. But that was ridiculous; there was nothing remotely romantic about Ryuzaki.
"Well, go to the counter and order something already."
Ryuzaki grabbed Light's sleeve and held it with two fingers. "Will Light come with me?"
"Can't you do it on your own? I'm comfortable."
"I'm shy, Light-kun."
Shy my ass. You weren't the east bit shy around the girls, snarled that same beast voice. Light once again suppressed it and stood up with an exaggerated sigh.
One piece of cheesecake, two éclairs and a hot tea later, Ryuzaki crouched on the sofa looking pleased. "Thank you again, Light."
"Yeah, yeah. You're a nightmare, you know."
"But Light loves me despite that, yes?"
Damn… why did that little statement make Light feel so flustered? "Yeah," he muttered, quickly so that Ryuzaki wouldn't hear the embarrassment in his voice. Shit, he needed a change of subject… fast.
"So… do you like Kiyomi?"
L's eyes clearly showed confusion. "Of course I like her. Why would I dislike her?"
Another almost-face palm moment. "No, I mean, do you LIKE her? As in, would you date her?"
"I'm… not sure. How do you know?"
Light had thought before that Ryuzaki might not have been inept as he acted. This, however, blew that idea COMPLETELY from his mind. He was INCOMPETENT.
Light rubbed his temples. "Well… when you're interested in dating someone, you're physically and mentally attracted to him or her. You want to be around them all the time, and touch them. Your heart speeds up when you think about them."
Ryuzaki pondered for a second. "I like spending time around Light, since we are friends now. And his mind is rather interesting to me."
Light's heart skipped a beat. "No… not like that, Ryuzaki. Don't be stupid. I'm talking about someone you have ROMANTIC feelings for. Like… you want to be with them forever."
"I wouldn't mind staying in Light's library forever. If he'd allow it."
Light growled in exasperation, but part of him felt slightly giddy. Having Ryuzaki in his library forever wouldn't be so bad. It was only everywhere ELSE that the dark-haired faux-doctor caused trouble.
But that was beside the point. "What I mean, Ryuzaki, is that you would want to KISS someone you wanted to date. You know…. Uh. You know, MAKE love to them."
His new roommate and friend stared at him blankly. "Ah. Well, I do not wish to kiss or make love to Kiyomi-san. So I must not want to date her."
For some reason, a weight seemed to lift off of Light's chest, but he kept going with his line of questioning. "What about Misa, then? Do you… like HER like that?"
After a thoughtful pause, Ryuzaki murmured, "No. And not only because, as Light's girlfriend, she is off-limits."
"Really?" He didn't expect Ryuzaki to be the type to tell a lie just to please someone, but even the most ignorant person surely knew you didn't tell a girl's boyfriend that you liked her to his face. So he could have been just bullshitting.
"Really, Light-kun. To be honest, I wonder how you put up with her. While she has a lovely face, and is extraordinarily nice to look at, her personality is rather grating. I do not think I would enjoy time in her company."
Wow. So even Ryuzaki couldn't handle large doses of Misa.
"Now you know how I feel," Light mumbled.
"But Light is dating her… So is it that he wishes to kiss, touch and make love to her? And if so, why hasn't he already?"
Light's face flushed cherry red. "Let's not go there again, Ryuzaki."
"Alright, then."
Light felt an awkward question dangling on the tip of his tongue, and he was unsure if he should vocalize it. Summing up his courage, he let it fly.
"So if you don't like them, why were you so blatantly hitting on Misa and Takada, then?"
It sounded a little confrontational, sure. And maybe, just maybe, Light sounded a little snippy and irritated. But really, he was over it.
Really.
Ryuzaki picked up the fork he had been eating cake with. In the dim light of the café, in Light's borrowed clothes, he looked very frail and lost.
"I wanted to impress Light by showing him that I could charm girls."
It hit light like a slap to the face.
…Impress him?
That whole stupid shebang had been aimed Light's direction? So he had been getting jealous when, the whole time, Ryuzaki was…
Hesitantly, Light put out a hand and touched L's shoulder. "Hey… you don't have to…. If you just … I…."
Ryuzaki set the fork down, delicately, on the coffee table with his empty plates. "I have a question for Light."
"…Yes?"
"Does Light believe it is better to live a life making others happy, while feeling regrets for all the actions one cannot take? Or is it better to live a life without regret or fear of hurting others, fulfilling only one's own dreams?"
Where had that come from? The teen star had no idea what to say in response to that. "It depends on what's important to you… but shouldn't you try to leave something behind for the people who care about you? Regardless of what you want… shouldn't you live for others?"
"I thought Light would say that. I suppose it is… the 'right' answer…."
"What does that mean?"
"That Light would say it if he was trying to sound like a person who was inherently good… but I, Light-kun…." L leaned forward. "I think I would like to live without regrets."
And then he kissed Light.