I was up there on stage, wearing nothing but a pair of swim trunks. Because we were supposedly having our first encounter at the beach. God. I think some of the guys in the front row will need to be forcibly restrained from attacking Matsumoto when she comes out of the dressing room. If not, Matsumoto, heck, might be pregnant tomorrow morning for all we know!

So yeah. Our first encounter is at the beach, and here I am, standing up here on stage in nothing but a pair of godawful, uncomfortable swim trunks, freezing my ass off because it's the dead of the winter and the heater is broken inside the auditorium. I'm fucking cold, needless to say. And don't give me all that crap about how Hyourinmaru is an ice type zanpakutoh and that I should not be cold. I am cold because of the US Government causing all this goddamn global warming! Yes! That is the reason why I'm cold! Because of global warming!

Yeah. But I'm really, really cold. And everybody is laughing and pointing because my upper body is not as well developed as every other guy's out there in the auditorium. Yeah, Mizuiro better not be laughing, because I KNOW for a fact that I have better abs than he does.

Then Matsumoto just saunters in, with nothing on but a very, very skimpy bikini, and while the male members in the first row did not attempt to attack her, they did have to be forcibly restrained and quite a few passed out from severe blood loss. I, of course, tried to turn my head so that I wouldn't have to see her, but Renji, who's supposed to be supporting me in my time of need, punched me so that my head twisted around to focus on her. I would have killed Renji right then and there if I had had something other than a pair of too large swim shorts to attack him with.

Since it's cold, and as I'm sure many females have had this experience before, Matsumoto's...things were poking up through her bikini top. God. It was humiliating, and to have a lieutenant who does NOT CARE whatsoever about her lack of modesty, well, that's like saying, "Please kill me now. That would be a merciful fate."

Ikkaku was practically gawping at her, as was Renji, as the two of them are prone to do. Ichigo was busy scanning the sea of faces aka the audience for his beloved American girlfriend who was not actually his girlfriend in the first place. Yumichika was being...Yumichika-ish and checking his mirror and asking whether or not the limelights would give him an ugly orange tan or not. Rukia was being...Rukia and attempting to contact her friends from beyond the stars using a spatula, and Keigo was, well, as most other males in the audience were doing, gawping at Matsumoto. Orihime, Ryo, and Chizuru did absolutely nothing at all, but they were gawked at. Well, Orihime at least. Ishida was busy sewing away a new bikini for Matsumoto, just in case the one she was wearing burst halfway through the scene. Mayuri, gratefully, was not there. I think he was doing something related to installing cameras under toilet seats to see just exactly how a certain head of the noble Kuchiki family could have survived for centuries without the aid of proper literacy. And Chad was being Chadish. And not doing anything.

So we were supposed to be frolicking around the stage like playful little snow hares. Except, of course, I couldn't frolic properly because Matsumoto and/or Orihime kept knocking me off the stage with those rather large things protruding out of their chests. So, after about two attempts, I gave up and sat down in front of the stage, not doing anything.

And the whole auditorium started laughing, even the teachers. Now I know why my swim trunks were so uncomfortable. I was wearing them INSIDE OUT.

Please excuse me. I need to go ask directions to my next huge embarrassing failure.

December 23
Tuesday
Asking directions to my next huge embarrassing failure
Hitsugaya

LOL xD. I can so see this happening.

Later!
Skyskater