Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Note: This part have some Church critiques. Also there´s a lot of SasoDei kinda fluf things, but don't worry, the rest of the Akatsuki will sear up things. I just need to have more ideas to write more chapters. If you have an idea for the story, than please tell me.

And remember, every time you review, an Akatsuki member dies

-"Oh, Kakuzo, you never believe what happened there! Sasori and Deidara started to argue and now Dei is mad at Saso. AHHHHHHHH!"- If there was something that Hidan loved more than Jashin, it was soap operas. Kakuzo noodle, not paying too much attention.

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~Meanwhile, in the real world~

-"DBBBBBBBB! You´re never believe what happened there! Sasori-kun and Deidara-kun started to argue and now Dei is mad at Saso. AHHHHHHHH!"- If there is something I love, its SasoDei. My friend DB agreed without taking hers eyes of the book

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~Back to the Naruto world ~

Pein cursed the day he created that organization while taking the explosive white clay from the wall, when someone knocked the door.

-"I´m sitting"- said Konan. Pein mentally show her the finger and opened the door. Behind the door, a priest and to nuns hold a Jesus figure above their heads

-"Sorry, but we´re happy with our phone bill"- said Pein

-"We´re here to take the Devil out of this house."- said the priest

-"How can a person sacrifice himself with all this no-OH SHIT! KAKUZO, IT'S THE INFIDELS!"- Hidan broke the kitchen window and ran for the hood

-"The infi-OH SHIT!"- Kakuzo ran to his room, got his bag of money and ran away to Hidan.

-"Oh no y´a don't, you fucking bastards"- the priest and the nuns ran to Hidan and Kakuzo. Pein made a funny face and shut the door

-"Do you know what-"

-"Last week, Hidan raped a nun while Kakuzo steal the village church Now God wants revenge"- sad Konan

-"What about all that forgiveness and peace bull shit?"

-"Oh that is overrated. Now what gives is abortion"

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-"Here. Because of my Sharigan, I was able to detect all the cameras. I mark them on this map"- said Itachi, showing a map of the Akatsuki (not so) secret hide out. They were inside the Akatsuki mobile.

-"Since when you have a map of the house?"

-"Since when you´re a tuna fish?"

-"Oh your gonna pay for that, weasel!"

Suddenly Kisame and Itachi started to fight like teenage girls inside the car, scraping and biting included.

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-"Dinner, everyone!"- Pein yelled behind the pink Barbie kitchen set. Itachi, Kisame, Tobi, Zetsu and Konan joined him in the table.

-"Where´s Freak and double Freak?"- asked Itachi

-"They ran away from Church"

-"And Sasori and Deidara?"

-"They are mad with each other. I think Deidara always want to change, but Sasori wont let him, or some shit like that"- said Konan, not paying to so much attention to the talk, and more to the NBC News.

-"What does "shit" means?"- asked Tobi. No one paid attention to him and Madara buried his head on his hands

-"Back in the good ol´ Mist, the Seven Swordsmen had a thing like this. You see, Ranmaru got mad at Raiga (A/N- They are on a filler from the anime, if you don't know who they are) because he didn't let her (A/N- I don't know if Ranmaru is a boy or girl, but he looks a girl, but then Haku…) go out with the other freaks. They didn't talk over a month, until me, Zabuza and Haku got then a blind date and they got back together"- said happily Kisame

-"Yes but you Swordsmen are a bunch of gay paedophiles, and-*BOON*""- Itachi speech was interrupted by a big explosion noise, followed by screams.

When the remain Akatsuki got to the font of the noise, Deidara´s room, they saw the door on the floor, who had been broken in half because of the explosion. Pein slammed his napkin in the floor and began crying. Inside the half exploded room, Deidara moved his fingers thru what used to be one of his greatest and dearest creations: a jade eagle, that he and his dad made had made during an year, right before his death

-"YOU FUCKING LOSER! WHAT HIS YOUR PROBLEM!"- Deidara throw a break lamp at Sasori

-"I-I´m so sorry, I-"
-"No, just…don't"- Tears ran freely down Deidara´s face

-"Look I-"

-"DON'T!"- Deidara looked himself in the bathroom. Sasori punched the wall, leaving a mark on it

-"What happened?"- asked Konan

-"I did the silliest mistake of my life, that's what"- Sasori looked himself in his room. Besides Pein cursing the day he joined those freaks while fixing Deidara´s door, no one else talked that night

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Inside Tobi´s mind, Madara decided to go watch the ratings of the "Daily cloud": 20 000 views!? Madara evily smirked, while writing:

Dear fans,

Now you know the story, its time for you to pay. For every hour, 20 bucks. MWAHAHAHHA!

Kisses and hugs XXX

Madara