Chapter Two

Lelouch wandered around the orchard, looking for a suitable tree in which he could think. He found a particularly old and gnarled one, and started the climb. He wondered how many other people had been forced into this situation by the Shepherd. He was still hesitant to call him "God."

He was obviously not on earth, or he would have seen other people by now. The world was too small and too populated for solitude. Except in high places, like this orange tree. He contemplated this conundrum with confusion. Why can't I think? Come on, Lelouch, you changed the world with your mind. Why can't you figure out this one guy's aim? What does he want from you? Should you trust him?

Lelouch had always been able to think best in tricky situations, when there was no time to regret decisions, only time to think of his next move. Now he was in a peaceful place, with plenty of time to think and no opponent except his own mind. This was his worst fear. He admitted to himself that it was part of the reason he had asked Suzaku to kill him. If there was no opponent, what was the point of living? He would just end up chasing his mind in circles, going crazy.

And ironically, Lelouch hadn't managed to escape this terrible fate. If he truly wanted to grant me peace from the pain of living, he wouldn't have placed me in this situation. He even looked a little iffy. Like a Britannian vacationing in one of the numbered areas. But he seemed too sincere, especially when he was talking about happiness. He looked like he truly cared about my pain. Like it was his own. Yet, if I am truly dead, what reason could he possibly have for manipulating me like this? I have nothing left to offer to the world of the living.

Perhaps this has something to do with C.C. Maybe this man is like her. But there was no symbol on his forehead. No matter. My father had one on his palm, so it is very feasible that it would be located elsewhere. If he is like C.C though, perhaps his proposal is legitimate. I never truly understood the depth of my witch's power. She could, conceivably bring people back to life. So I return to the Shepherd's original proposition.

By now Lelouch had reached the top of the tree, climbing nimbly from branch to branch. It was not difficult, merely time consuming. He chose a particularly thick branch and settled against the trunk, one leg steadying him and the other hanging loosely below. He rested one arm on his uplifted knee and his long fingers tapped a pattern on his leg. With the other hand he played with his hair, which had grown out a bit too long over the past months. Nunnally would disapprove. She always expected me to appear well groomed. But with Zero being such a huge part of my life, I couldn't bear to continue to look so outwardly similar when inside I had changed so much. Rolo would understand.

He gasped at the unexpected pain he felt when such a thought of his fake brother wandered through his head. Did he really care for that killer so much? He assassinated the only love Lelouch ever had. It was unforgivable. And yet, Rolo was only a child. He never understood the full consequences of his actions. And he had been raised to believe that murder was natural. He wouldn't have even known the consequence of his actions until it was too late. I know what Zero would say about it. He would be logical; he would say that it had to be done. He would have agreed with Rolo. And yet, what about me? How can I feel sympathy, even love for such an aberration?

Zero had been known to be heartless, but what about Lelouch? It was always the people involved with Lelouch that seemed to get hurt, not the ones Zero associated himself with. Lelouch had ruined the lives of Shirley, Nina, Rolo, Kollen, Suzaku, Euphemia, countless others, while Zero remained a hero, blameless in his righteous crimes. So Lelouch was forced to ask himself, which side of him was right? Had his cool exterior become so intertwined with his former self that he no longer recognized the difference between right and wrong?

Perhaps another chance is what I need. A chance to be Lelouch, without the duties of Zero. I need to find a way to regain my humanity. But the only thing I had looked forward to for so many months was the end to this endless pain and betrayal. Isn't this what I hoped for, to have endless peace? And now that the idea of Heaven is feasible, I may even be able to spend time with Shirley.

But wait, didn't Shirley say that every time she awakened anew she would keep falling in love with me? Does this mean she is out there somewhere, in the human world? Could she have known about this place before she died? Did C.C tell her something before she disappeared? Was it a memory triggered by Jeremiah? I would like to see Nunnally and Kollen again. I would love to thank Suzaku for helping me complete my plan, and apologize for prolonging his life.

But the Shepherd said that I should choose wisely. What possibly disadvantages could there be to living another life? Perhaps I shall suffer even more than I have before. But I have become tough, hardened by the vulgarities of my cruel world. I will be able to handle anything this new life may throw at me.

Lelouch's face hardened with that last promise to himself. Lelouch vi Britannia had made a decision. And once a royal prince made a promise, he kept it. With this firm resolve, Lelouch looked up at the sun. it had begun to set already. The sky quickly turned blood red in an awe inspiring sunset. How appropriate, he thought as he began his long descent down the tree.