Me: Hello, folks! SOOOOOOO SORRYYYYYYY for the late update (don't kill me!) , but I have the rest of the week off, so expect more updates! Yay!
Shadow: Yeah, don't kill 'er. That's my job.
Me: ………
Kabuto: (clears throat) Well, to start off, we have a special guest that's going to make a special appearance in this chapter. Audience, let's give a warm, happy welcome-
Shadow: (huffs) Happy?
Kabuto: YES. HAPPY. Now stifle yourself. (A/N: My principal ALWAYS says that! In other words, it means to shut up.)
Shadow: HEY! DON'T TALK BACK TO ME!! (flings herself on Kabuto)
Kabuto: AHHH!! NOOOO!! (falls to ground with Shadow clawing at his back)
Me: Um…let's give a warm, happy welcome to Shadow's good friend Marie all the way from Ireland!! Woot!!
(booming applause is heard as Marie appears…out of nowhere?….)
Me: (hugs Marie) Welcome to the fic, Marie! It's great that you're here.
Marie: It's good to be here. Hey, uh, where's Shadow?
Shadow: RIGHT HERE, BAKA!! (glomps Marie from behind)
Marie: (coming from under Shadow in a muffled voice) Oww…..my spine……I think it cracked in two……
Kabuto: (comes rushing to the scene with a medical bag) Is someone injured??
Marie: Err….YOU look it. (eyes Kabuto's scratched back and ripped shirt)
Kabuto: (sighs) Yes…I DO….(walks away sad and emo)
Me: Let's just get on with the story, shall we? Enjoy!!
DRABBLE SIX: Marie Comes For A Visit
If one were to walk past the bathroom that was currently occupied by the evil Orochimaru, that one would think the snake lord was off his rocker. Judging by the oddly obstreperous splashes of bath water, low growls of fury, and the JAWS theme music playing in the background, that is.
But, if one of the regular occupants of this particular household were to walk past the bathroom that was currently occupied by the evil Orochimaru, they would shake their heads and think, " I hope he catches that rubber duck this time."
The yellow rubber duck was innocently floating in the bath water, bobbing up and down with every pygmy sized wave that came by. It looked like it was the only thing in the bathtub.
But, slowly, bubbles formed on the water's surface. The number of bubbles rapidly increased in size and number, surrounding the bath toy for a moment, but then popping as quick as they came.
Two snakelike eyes that were filled with determination then rigorously appeared from under the bathwater, but only the eyes though, for the rest of the occupant's head was still in the water. The owner of the eyes then revealed the rest of his head, an evil grin planted on his face. A think, purple tongue slithered out between his pointy teeth, licking the tip of the rubber duck's beak with passion. Abruptly, he returned his whole self back under the water.
All was quiet.
But then Orochimaru's whole body rocketed out of the water and towered over the poor rubber duck! The man opened his mouth wide, preparing to rip off the rubber duck's head (or whole body, for that matter) into shreds!
He closed in on his prey menacingly. Inch by inch. He was almost there….slowly…..slowly….the rubber duck will be his……
Almost there….just a few more movements…..
CENTIMETERS away now……
He was about to tear the rubber duck limb from limb!-
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!
" AHHH!!" Orochimaru screamed in surprise at hearing the sudden shrill ring of the telephone, falling on his bare skinny ass back into the hard surfaced tub. As if on cue, the JAWS music came to a close on the tape recorder on top of the toilet seat. Oh was he pissed off now….
" KABUTO, DO SOMETHING USEFUL WITH YOURSELF AND GET THE PHONE!!"
No response.
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!
Orochimaru called out again in annoyance. " ANNA, IT'S PROBABLY ONE OF YOUR STUPID FRIENDS! PICK UP THE PHONE!!"
No answer was heard. The phone kept on ringing it's loud, obnoxious ring of its.
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!
Not only was the phone blaring, Orochimaru's ears perked up at another sound, though quiet as it was. He scowled.
" SHADOW, DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO SNEAK INTO MY ROOM FOR THE KUSANAGI!! BACK AWAY FROM THE GOD DAMMED DOOR!!"
A powerful kick was forced upon the bathroom door. " ASSHOLE!" Shadow's muffled voice screeched from the other side. Her purposely raucous stomps were growing fainter as she marched furiously down the hallway.
" Get the phone as well, while you're at it," Orochimaru ordered at the last minute before Shadow was gone completely.
The snake lord sighed. He gave a death glare at the rubber duck that stared back at him with beady black eyes. The eyes were mocking him, as if like saying, " Haha! I won!" The man threw the rubber duck at the light blue painted bathroom wall as soon as that thought of defeat passed through him. The bath toy emitted a small squeak at the collision with the wall and sank to the tiled floor.
Orochimaru pulled the drain from the bathtub and climbed out. He would kill the rubber duck he loathed another day. And he would be successful.
He went through the process of wiping his body dry with a towel and doing all sorts of 'bathroom' things, and while doing all this gazing into the mirror at his reflection. Orochimaru's face showed that he was pissed and now stressed out.
" Damn phone…..I would've defeated the duck if it weren't for the DAMN phone….that's it. I'm disconnecting it Thursday."
And speaking of the phone, Orochimaru noticed that the ringing had stopped. Shadow's voice was barely heard, but it was noticeable. Orochimaru leaned into the door to hear the conversation. He was somewhat curious….
" What the hell are you calling for?" Shadow answered rudely. Orochimaru face palmed; what are people going to think of them if she continued to talk that way?
There was silence for a few moments, indicating that the other person on the phone was speaking. Orochimaru's eyebrows furrowed and body tensed. For some reason, he got the feeling this conversation was going to be interesting.
" OH MY GOD!! MARIE?! IS THAT YOU?!"
Orochimaru cringed at hearing the sudden excited shriek of Shadow's voice. Even though the demon resided in the kitchen that was a few hundred feet away, her voice sounded as if she was right next to Orochimaru.
" HOLY CRAP?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?! O.M.G!!"
This was an eccentric sounding scene. Orochimaru never heard his hard-headed, tough apprentice speak this way before. He never heard her so…happy…..
" WHAT?! YOU'RE STANDING OUTSIDE THE HOUSE NOW?! AS WE SPEAK?? I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!! AND YOU HAVE….Naruto with you? WHAAAAAT?!"
A crack of the phone being carelessly tossed to the floor was heard as Orochimaru heard Shadow rush to the front door in an excited frenzy. As soon as he heard the word Naruto, a new set of footsteps were heard. Out of the blue, the bathroom door forcefully swung open, sending Orochimaru once again on his bare ass (he….wasn't wearing a towel….)
" Did you HEAR that, my Lord?! NARUTO'S-" Kabuto ceased talking as he noticed the sight of his master on the floor….uncovered….exposed…..
Embarrassed to no end, Orochimaru just remained on the ground. For once in his life, Orochimaru's pale skin blushed a deep crimson. His usual slit eyes were now wide and focused on the floor, ignoring Kabuto's surprised gawk that pierced through him. It then got to him.
" JUST GET THE HELL OUT ALREADY!!" Orochimaru shrieked more in anger than humiliation, his voice reaching a new high pitched octave. Kabuto rushed out of the room as fast as he could.
The snake lord swore he heard giggles coming from his servant. He didn't want to think about it….
Anna was in a pretty happy mood. She bounced down the halls hyperly while drinking a liter of Mountain Dew and listening to her iPod nano. One of her favorite songs was currently playing full blast.
" I chime in, haven't you people ever heard of closing the god dammed door? No. It's much better to face these things with a sense of poise and rationality….." Anna sang very loudly. Loud enough for Orochimaru to slam the bathroom door shut in her face. She giggled at this as she took one of the headphones out of her ears. " Oi, Oreo-"
" Orochimaru- sama!!" the man hissed menacingly.
" Sorry, sir. Orochimaru. Ya wanna know something weird- I was singing this song that goes 'haven't you people ever heard of closing the god dammed door', and the moment that part came on….you closed the door in my face!…Well, slammed, but what's the difference?"
" Anna, I don't have the time and the patience to listen to one of your rants. Now leave me be."
" Aww, come on! You've been in there all morning." Anna whined. She decided to be tricky and mischievous. "What are you doing in there, anyway?" the curious girl turned the bathroom door handle to try and peek inside, but Orochimaru acted on instinct and slammed the door back shut.
" Nothing! Go find something to occupy your time with. I think one of Shadow's….long lost friends or what not is here."
Now this caught Anna's attention. Shadow never mentioned anything about a long lost friend before. " Really? A long lost friend? That I'VE never met before? I've gotta check it out!" She raced down the hallway and out of Orochimaru's sight.
Letting out a sigh of relief that Anna was gone, Orochimaru was now at full attention towards the rubber duck that was now floating on the toilet water. The man's mouth twisted into a wicked smile.
That duck was his, now….
Anna ran into the living room to search for her cousin and her 'long lost friend'. It didn't take long to find them, for they were all situated on the floor, junk food scattered all over the coffee table, playing Vice City on PS2.
The emoish girl took slow, careful steps toward the pair, trying not to stir up attention. She took in the stranger's appearance. The girl, about her age by the looks of things, was athletic looking, with long brown hair the flowed down her arched back. Her style was casual, for she sported a beige Sonic the Hedgehog T-shirt and black sweats. Brown eyes were intent and focused on the game that was being played. The girl looked determined while controlling the tank on the screen….which she was trying to park in a parking lot….
Just then, Shadow put the game on pause. She turned her head around to where Anna was recently hiding behind the fat, leather couch. " Anna, you can come out ya know." she said in a matter-of-fact tone.
Blushing a shade of bright red, Anna bounced back up on her feet. She laughed sheepishly while playing with her ponytail holder on her wrist out of nervous habit. " Heh, sorry. I was gonna jump out at you guys."
" Riiiight. Suuuuure you were." Shadow and her companion rose off the floor. " Anna, this is my friend Marie. Marie, this is my cousin/friend Anna."
Marie smiled politely and walked gracefully toward the emoish girl and extended her hand to shake. " Nice to finally meet you, Anna. Shadow's told me so much about you." the girl had an Irish accent.
Anna grinned goofily and shook her new friend's hand." Ahaha, nice to meet you, too. Though I gotta say, Shadow's never mentioned you before." Anna mentally slapped herself. She shouldn't have said that. She could feel Shadow's daggers digging into her.
There was that awkward silence.
But then………
" AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
Startled, Anna's head shot up in the air for a split second before she was crushed to the ground by an unknown force.
Which she soon figured out was a body.
" Owwww……" Anna's muffled voice coming from underneath the body groaned. " My back….." She tried to stand up, but the huge body wouldn't budge.
" Naruto, let the poor girl up and stop acting so annoying!" Marie commanded harshly. She grabbed hold of the male's arm and roughly pulled him up to his feet.
Noticing the decrease in pressure upon her body, Anna got up as quickly as her bruised body would allow her to, using the couch as a support. Her ice blue eyes stared at the boy before her.
He was quite a sight, what with his big blue eyes, spiky blonde hair, cat whiskers along the cheeks, orange and blue jumpsuit like attire. And a unique headband that had a weird, swirly circle symbol with a point. Anna had no clue what that meant.
The boy, Naruto, released a booming laugh, his smile covering up at least two-thirds of his face. He jumped up onto the startled Anna and gave her a hug that was more like a death grip.
" Hahaha! Sorry about that rude entry, but I just HAD to do it, ya know? I mean, you were just THERE, and I couldn't resist, ahaha! My name's Naruto Uzumaki, by the way, ninja in training. My future dream is to become Hokage. Believe it!"
This kid talked more than….well….anybody!
Eventually Anna was released from the perky boy's grasp. She turned toward Marie, eyebrow's raised. Marie just shrugged back. " He wouldn't leave me alone. I found him in the village one day and decided to take him home."
" Yep. That's the story!" Naruto began (note the word BEGAN). " I think you both are really cool. I like your white hair, Anna, it looks like Kakashi's, he's my trainer don't you know? Me, him, Sasuke, and Sakura form Squad 7, we're the best, hey what's Marie doing holding a mini microwave oven over her head for? I dunno, did I mention I like ramen, it's-"
Naruto's eyes rolled into the back of his head as the mini microwave smashed against his head. He fell to the floor unconscious. Anna let out a gasp and looked at the grinning Marie.
" My work here is done."
" WHAT DID YOU HIT HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH A MINI MICROWAVE OVEN FOR?!"
" He was ANNOYING!"
Shadow reappeared into the living room, having gone into the kitchen for a toaster. Noticing Naruto sprawled eagled on the floor and Marie holding a microwave oven, she snapped her fingers. "Dammit, Marie. I was gonna do that."
" I beat you to it, girl." Marie smugly smiled. " Now come on. Let's get back on playing Vice City."
The three girls became really good friends and played Vice City for six hours straight. They were quite curious as to why they heard so much flushing and squeaks coming from the bathroom.
Me: Aaaaaand done. Boy, that was a long one!
Kabuto: (upset) I was barely in it!…And the only part I WAS in made me feel gay.
Me: (patting Kabuto on the back) Don't worry. You're gonna be in the Easter special!
Kabuto: Cool. Just….no more Orochimaru naked…..NO MORE.
Shadow: What? Orochimaru was NAKED? WHAT!?
Marie: Just forget it…you'll have your chance someday.
Shadow: Dammit, I MISS EVERYTHING!! ( throws lamp at wall)
Kabuto: HEY! You're paying for a new lamp, young lady!!
Me: (sighing as World War III breaks out between Kabuto and Shadow) We all sincerely hope you enjoyed this chapter of Under the Same Roof. Keep in mind that I have the whole week off, so I'll be able to update more often. Thank you Marie, for making a special guest appearance in- (turns to Marie, but she isn't there) Hey…where's Marie?
Marie: RIIIIGHT HERE!! ( is riding a tank)
Me: Just….yeah, review please…..