[Sorry for the slow update! Anyway, here it is! Chapter 8 of Ask The Seireitei, ze!]
Kira: And… it's back! An all new chapter of Ask The Seireitei is finally up! Ehehe… -looks sheepish- Anyway… moving on! Today is when we all celebrate the victory over Aizen! And –
Ichigo: I don't think Aizen is defeated yet.
Kira: I know. That's why this story is now officially AU. Ne, Yachiru?
Yachiru: -pops in and lands on Byakuya's shoulder- Yay! Bya-kun, I'm hungry!
Byakuya: …
Kira: To celebrate, we're having a party, WITHOUT sake –
Matsumoto: WHAT???
Kira: -glares- … A party, but only after the reviews are answered! And we have new guests! Hiyori! Shinji!
-Hiyori and Shinji enter room/stage/whatever-
Kira: To welcome you, Shinji, you'll be reading the first review, ne?
Shinji: We don't even get a proper welcome? Th- OWWW!
Hiyori: -kicks Shinji with slippered foot- HURRY UP, IDIOT!
Shinji: I am! You don't have to- OWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
Hiyori: -now hitting Shinji with slipper- I SAID HURRY UP, SO HURRY UP!!!!
Everyone else: -sigh- …
Ichigo: ENOUGH ALREADY! I'll read the review!
From: Bunnylia:
LAWL. Okay, moving on. Momo-chan, I dare you to tell Hitsugaya-taichou that you think Aizen-sama-sama is ten times hotter than him. Him referring to Hitsugaya-taichou. HEHEHEHEHEHEHE... -evil laughter for another ten minutes-
Momo: Eh… eh… -blushes red- Tou-Toushirou… eh…
Hitsugaya: It's Hitsugaya-taichou!
Momo: Eh… eh… Ai-Aizen-taichou is… is…
Kira: -whispering evily- Come on!
Momo: Ten… ten times… ho… ho… ho…
Hitsugaya: Just say it.
Momo: Ho… hotter… than you… -shakes head frantically- Aizen-taichou… -starts crying-
Kira: -jumps up and hustles Momo offstage- Gomen, Shirou-chan! Have to avoid emo scenes here, ne?
Hitsugaya: -glares-
Kira: -grins evilly- Next!
From: awapadfoot (who was supposed to appear this round, but… well…)
LOL!
So evil! But why did Ryuuken sama choose Dare? Poor him :) Hope he doesn't kill me...
Ryuuken: -vein twitching- I might…
AND RYUUKEN SAMA IS NOT A NERD
and did uryuu see ryuuken sama er... jump around clucking for one minute? Man, being bakudoed sure hurts.
Hitsugaya: I could do a lot worse, you know.
Uryuu: Unfortunately, I did. –pushes up glasses-
Just one dare this time :)
Uryuu, kiss orihime.
Uryuu and Orihime: WHAT?!?!?!?!?
Orihime: But… Kurosaki-kun… -glances at Ichigo-
Uryuu: I-Inoue-san! –blushes while pushing up glasses-
Ichigo: Go on, Orihime.
Orihime: Hai… -approaches Uryuu- … Ishida-kun…
Uryuu: Eh… -backs away-
Kira: -pops up behind Uryuu- No, you don't!
Everyone else: That's fast…
Orihime: -approaching Uryuu- Gomen, Ishida-kun…
Uryuu: I-Inoue-san! Ah… Mmph! –makes strangled-sounding noise-
[click]
-everyone looks up-
Yachiru: -swinging from hanging rope- Yeah! I got it! –holds up camera. On screen is a picture of the kiss-
Uryuu: -blinks and moves away from Orihime- Wha… WHAT?
Kira: Hehe! Yachiru! –throws bag of candy-
Yachiru: YAY!
Hiyori: Hurry up! Next!
From: Satoshistar7
I have a dare for Ryuken, but I think he is still a cold-hearted coward so I don't think he will do it. Still I will give it a shot. Ryuken I dare you to go up to Uryu dress as a quincy and say that you love him and that being a quincy is nothing to be ashamed of. When he reacts in surpise give him a hug
like you were suppose to in the last chapter. And no you cannot find me non assasinate me with your quincy arrows. (heh heh) Still if you wuss out you have to do a strip tease (that means not all the way!) as your forfit with music playing. Okay now I am moving to another location because I know I'd want to kill me if I had a forefit penalty like that. Endure the humiliation of being human toward your son or a stripper. The choice is yours.
Kira: -blinks rapidly- Wow… That sounds… scary…
Ryuuken: -sigh- Why did I ever agree to come here…?
Yachiru: -still swinging from rope- Awwww! Come on, Ryuu-chan!
Shinji: -whispers- This is boring…
Hiyori: What did you say? –pulls slipper off foot-
Shinji: N-nothing.
Uryuu: Huh? –peers at review-
Kira: Not yet! –pushes Uryuu offstage- It's a surprise, Megane-kun!
Rukia: Fufufu…
Ryuuken: No. Way.
Kira: Heh. Are you sure…? –Kenpachi and Yachiru move next to her-
Ryuuken: -glares- Not again… I don't have a Quincy outfit with me.
Kira: I do! –rummages through closet- Here! –pushes Ryuuken backstage to change-
A few minutes later…
-Ryuuken comes back onstage-
Kira: Yes! –drags Uryuu onstage- Just stand here, Megane-kun!
Uryuu: -pushes up glasses- I wish you'd stop calling me that.
-Will of the Heart plays-
Ryuuken: Uryuu…
Uryuu: What? –turns to face Ryuuken-
Ryuuken: Uryuu, well… there's nothing shameful in being a Quincy, and…
Uryuu: Is there supposed to be?
Ryuuken: -glares backstage, then spots Zaraki- And… I love you as a son… so…
Uryuu: -stares increculously- Are you sure you don't have brain fever?
-Ryuuken hugs Uryuu, then quickly lets go-
Uryuu: Wha… wha…
Yachiru: Wohoo! I got it! I got it! –jumps up and down- Kira-chan, I got the entire thing! –waves camera-
Kira: Arigatou Yachiru! Oh wait, I think there's leftover cake from last chapter…
Everyone else: -thinking- That's over a month old…
Kira: -yanks out box- Here! I got Kisuke to preserve it!
Everyone else: -thinking- That's even more unsafe…
Rukia: Whatever. Next!
From Chocolate and caramel:
Crying in laughter. Kyah, fangirl moments.
Ok, I don't know which format chap 8 is but (shrugs) 2 question please. 1. Orihime: currently I'm reading searching glimpses where you were pic as Ulquiorra's lover and Grimy-chan's sis after reincarnate as Ichigo Rukia's daughter. What do you think about it?
Orihime: That- that's just stupid! Kurosaki-kun might have a daughter with Kuchiki-san, but Grimmjow isn't even a human! And Grimmjow and Ulquiorra are already dead—
Kira: -reaches offstage and drags a very annoyed Ulquiorra into room- Actually, he isn't.
Ichigo: -grabs Zangetsu- You—how…?
Kira: I managed to get him out before you collapsed Las Noches in your battle with Aizen.
Ichigo: I… I did that to kill him! –points at Ulquiorra-
Kira: You did? Oh well…
Momo: -reappears onstage- Aizen-taichou… Is he dead?
Ichigo: Uh, well…
Kira: -waves arm around- Well, he's probably somewhere in the real world—
Momo: Ai… zen… tai… chou… -starts crying again-
Kira: Eh… Ukitake! Take care of this, onegai! –pushes Momo and Ukitake offstage-
2. Byakuya: kyah! I'm wondering when you were pic as the coolest taichou, we nver get to see your fanclub. Wat cha done to 'em?
Byakuya: I have a fanclub?
Rukia: Yeah! The Shinigami Women Association wants Nii-sama to release a photo book! And Nii-sama was voted as the hottest captain for ten years straight! That's so cool!
Ichigo: Whaddya mean cool? That's probably because no one else was eligible.
Rukia: It was not!
Ichigo: And anyway, he's too high-and-mighty and way too—
Byakuya: Chire… Senbonzakura.
Ichigo: -jumps away- Oi!
Kira: How do you always manage to stray from the question…?
Dare to both Ichi Rukia: make out in front of everyone for 5 mins. Quick someone cast a spell on Byakuya before he kills em. Rolf
Kira: I'll take care of this! Bakudou no ichi, Sai!
-Byakuya falls to ground-
Byakuya: …
-Senbonzakura heads towards Ichigo-
Ichigo: Wha—Oh crap…
Kira: Oh no…
Yachiru: That's mean, Bya-kun! –shunpoes Ichigo away-
Kira: -quickly creates Kekkai around chocolate and caramel- Whew… I think… this dare is discontinued. Eh… next.
From cherryblossem391:
LOL love it :D
Question for Yachiru: Have you asked every captain/vice captian in the Soul Society for candy? And which have you asked the most?
Yachiru: Mm… I only ask Ken-chan and Bya-kun! Although Ukitake-kun gives me candy too! And Shirou-chan, I wonder where he gets his candy from… -assumes thoughtful pose-
Hitsugaya: Maybe if Ukitake would stop giving me candy…
From Plumalchemyst:
Kisuke: Do you know your my favorite character out of all bleach character hell I who always make the main character my fave and you beat Ichigo for number one fave XD
Kisuke: -bows and waves fan- Of course I'm popular!
Kenpachi: What would you think if i said i wanted to marry you
Zaraki: You'd have to fight me and win first.
Kira: -whispers- Don't try that…
if you allow Aizen here: Aizen do you think you can touch me (yells zampakto (sp?) name) ONI SHOUJO
Kira: Unfortunately, Aizen was killed by Ichigo. So wass Tousen… I wonder how Gin-kun escaped? Oh well… -glances at zanpakutou name- Oni Shoujo? Female Demon/Devil?
Yachiru: I'll play tag with you! –shunpoes up and taps Plumalchemyst on shoulder- You're It! –shunpoes off-
Gin: Do you know you look like a fox to me
Kira: Due to paperwork complications, Gin-kun is still stuck in Seireitei while Soi Fon tries to determine his innocence… -whispers- Maybe I shouldn't keep so many captains here…
Matsumoto: Unohana told me he should be released soon!
Kira the author: I got you this (hands over gift basket)
Kira: Arigatou! -vanishes offstage for a moment-
Uryuu: Do you know my mother was a quincy thus I'm a shinigami quincy hybrid
Kira: -reappears onstage- YAY! -hugs-
Uryuu: -pushes up glasses- So there're still other Quincy families around?
Ukitake: -reappears onstage with a no-longer-crying Momo- Interesting. There haven't been any recorded Shinigami/Quincy hybrids for… close to three hundred years, I think.
Kira: -grins- That just shows how little Seireitei knows…
Uryuu: Thank goodness that shinigami isn't here.
Ichigo: Hows it feel to lose being my number one fave to Kisuke Urahara XD
Ichigo: Hmph… it doesn't really matter. -sulks in corner-
Rukia: how old are you
Rukia: Um… somewhere over a hundred? Most shinigami stop counting after some time…
Rukia's bro: what would happen if my cousin a leagal priestsaid she married Ichigo and Rukia (holds up pic of Ichigo and Rukia dressed as a bride and groom)
Byakuya: -vein twitches- Chire Senbonzakura Kageyoshi.
Rukia: Eep! -dives under nearby table-
Ichigo: Bankai! Tensa Zangetsu!
-Byakuya and Ichigo start fighting-
Kira: Um… -glances at chaos- Bakudou no ichi, Sai!
-Ichigo falls to floor. Senbonzakura heads after Ichigo-
Kisuke: Fear not, help is at hand! -waves cane and creates Senkaimon-
-Yoruichi steps out, shunpoes and reappears with Byakuya's kenseikan-
Byakuya: Yoruichi! -Senbonzakura heads toward her instead-
Ichigo: Whew… -ducks falling debris created by Senbonzakura-
Yoruichi: Ne ne, Byakuya-bou! -shunpoes and drags Byakuya into Senkaimon, which closes-
Kira: -glances around now damaged stage- Still usable, I think.
Rukia: -crawls out from under table- Those pictures are fake, by the way.
Renji: Would you ever protect Ichigo from your captains wrath XD
Renji: Only if it didn't involve Rukia or Seireitei.
Ichigo: Do you realise that will likely be why he's attacking me in the first place?!
Uryuu's dad: Do you know shinigami like apples (Sorry I couldn't help but put that XD and my sister threaten to beat me with a dead beaver if i didn't)
Rukia: They do not!
Kira: Shinigami… like… apples… -starts laughing helplessly-
Ryuuken: ???
Kira: -still laughing, holds up stack of paper-
Uryuu: -reading aloud- We decided that maybe Yamamoto wasn't so mad after all, but he suddenly picked up a red apple, and swallowing it whole, he grinned and said, Shinigami Love Apples.
Everyone stared… What the hell is this?!
Kira: Whoops, wrong one. -hands over Death Note volume instead-
Five minutes later…
Kisuke: I officially disassociate myself with any form of shinigami found in any manga or anime, Bleach disincluded.
Ichigo: For once, I agree.
Orihime: Why on earth do you like Ichigo I didn't see his butt fighting Mayuri to protect you from being dissected face it you and Uryuu are meant to be (is wearing proud Ishime shipper hat)
Orihime: But Kurosaki-kun's… he… -glances at Ichigo-
Uryuu: -blushes- That's not true! I was fighting Kurotsuchi because of the Quincies, not for Inoue-san!
Ichigo: You like her, just admit it.
Uryuu: -still blushing- You like Kuchiki-san too!
Ichigo: I do not!
Rukia: -punches Ichigo- There's no way I'd like this idiot!
Ichigo: No one asked your opinion!
Kira: Forget it… next.
for Uryuu ichigo and Renji: What do you think of these pics fangirls drew XD (hands the three Yaoi pics from)
Everyone: O.o
Uryuu: -pushes up glasses- Why am I always pictured with him? -points at Ichigo-
Ichigo: Well, I'm pictured with both of you, so stop complaining!
Renji: Ew. Ew ew ew ew. Fangirls are scary.
Kira: Oh, that reminds me! -drags Yoruichi and Byakuya back onstage- Byakuya, for your constantly attacking Ichigo this chapter, you shall be subject to the Ultimate Punishment of DOOM!
Byakuya: …
Kira: -evil grin- Now just stand there… right, just there… I suggest that everyone else move back.
-everyone forms a large circle around Byakuya-
Kira: Right! Kisuke!
Kisuke: -also grinning evilly- Bakudou… roku… ko… te… -mumbling-
-metal bars form around Byakuya-
Kira: And… -pulls open a portal- The Ultimate Punishment of DOOM! Being locked in a cage with hundreds of rabid fangirls/fanboys for ten minutes! -hits button on stopwatch-
-shrieking fangirls pour out of portal and surround Byakuya-
Everyone else: O.o
Ten minutes later…
Kira: 5… 4… 3… 2… 1… 0.
-fangirls vanish back into portal, cage around Byakuya dissolves-
Byakuya: -is lying smoking on floor-
Kira: Um… Yoruichi, could you bring him to Unohana-taichou…?
-Yoruichi picks up Byakuya and vanishes-
Kira: And that's all for this chapter… I think…
Ichigo: And why the hell did you make this fic AU?
Kira: Because Kubo-sensei was taking way too long with the manga! –grins- Which means…
Everyone else: O.o
Kira: Well then… Hiyori, Shinji, Yoruichi and Ulquiorra will be staying! And if I manage to get clearance from Yamamoto-soutaichou, Gin-kun can return!
Yachiru: You forgot Henjin-taichou!
(henjin = freak)
Kira: Oh yes! Kurotsuchi will be here too – Uh oh…
Uryuu: -glares-
Kira: -dodges arrows- I don't mean in person! Kisuke set up a live video feed to and from Kurotsuchi's room—! -dodges arrows-
Matsumoto: It's party time! Sake, anyone?
Hitsugaya: -snatches sake- There are underage people here, Matsumoto!
Rukia: -glances at chaos- This chapter end here, so… -ducks as arrow flies over head- Ishida!
Kira: Atsumeru, Tsumetai Kage!
[boom]
Disembodied Voice: It looks like the sake exploded.
Other Disembodied Voice: Ishida, did you shoot the sake?
Yet Another Disembodied Voice: No! Maybe it's that zanpakutou—Argh!
Other Disembodied Voice: Ishida!
Yet Another Disembodied Voice: I'm not shooting, I'm being shot at!
Other Disembodied Voice: Then why are arrows still flying everywhere?!
Yachiru: -steps out of smoke- Sayonara, minna-chan!
-curtains come down, muffling the yells-
A/N: I apologise for the long delay in uploading this. You see, it was done a long time ago, but what with one thing and the other, it was eventually chucked into a virtual corner and forgotten about… anyway, I'll be going back to updating this regularly… hopefully, ze!