Kon: Annnd… ACTION! Welcome to the first episode of Kon-sama's very own section – the Kon-sama Ask The Seireitei Fiesta! Applause, please! –strikes pose-
Ichigo: Kon! What are you doing here?!
Kon: Kira-san very kindly relinquished control of the show to me temporarily, as a new crisis seems to have surfaced in Seireitei. However, as they say, the show must go on! So! We appear to be in Hueco Mundo…
-everyone looks around-
Rukia: What?!
Yachiru: Kira-chan did say the show would be moved temporarily to accommodate more guests! Which means, the entire Seireitei, and more, is now on this show – temporarily!
Kon: Anyway, it's time for the reviews! Good luck, people!
From Satoshistar7:
To Ryuken: I challenge you...even though I know you wanna hurt me for my dares I will fight you to stay on this fanfic! YOU NEED TO THAW THAT ICICLE WHICH IS PERMANANTLY STUCK UP YOUR...do I really need to clarify the end of this statement? If I win, you have to eat Orihime's cooking with your son ( another chance to bond) and dress as a shimigami for the next three chapters. I challenge you to a chocolate pudding eating contest. I won this contest once and I got sick, but I will go throught it again if that's what it takes tobeat you and to remain on this fic! (Holds out two spoons and sets out two big tubs of chocolate pudding.)
Ryuuken: -sigh- I really don't know why I'm here, but… fine.
Kon: And… START!
-Satoshistar7 shovels pudding into mouth-
Ryuuken: -tastes pudding- Yuck. Who made this?
Orihime: I did! I added pepper, thyme, salt and other spices to make it tastier! Don't you like it?
Ryuuken: … No.
-Satoshistar7 finishes pudding and looks pleased-
Kon: Annnd… the winner is obvious! Now, Ryuuken-san, you have to go and change into those!
-Yachiru waves shinigami robes-
Ryuuken: -sigh- I'm leaving for the rest of the chapter. -walks offstage-
To Orihime: Tell me how the Date went. ;)
Orihime: Um… it actually went well! I wanted to invite Ishida-kun over for dinner, but he suggested we go to a restaurant instead. Then we just… chatted, about school and life and Seireitei… I had to go home after that, so we couldn't do anything else.
Kon: So! The big question… -leans in close- Did you kiss—argh! -dodges arrow-
Uryuu: -glaring- No.
Kon: Okay, next, next…
To Uryu alone: Catch me if you can. ( smirk) You think you can hunt me down? I think not my dear quincy. But don't worry, I won't mind if you do. I 'm hoping that someday you and Ryuken both get mad at me so much so that you are both willing to work together to get me. (grin) Tag! Your it! (runs swiftly away with shunpo) That is my challege to you.
P.S. You are my fav. character, but seriously you need to get a love life!
Uryuu: I'll chase you after the chapter. And I'm leaving Ryuuken out of this.
Orihime: I told you before, Ishida-kun, it's rude to call your father that way…
From ReadR:
I really wanna see byakuya dancing.. haha. Here's single question : Urahara-san, are you straight? ^_^
Rukia: Urahara's not here, I think he was called to Seireitei… -looks around-
Kon: Oh yeah, he is. You should have seen what he and Yoruichi were doing at Urahara Shouten—
Hiyori: -chucks slipper at Kon- This fic is supposed to be T-rated, idiot!
Kon: Uh, yeah... -whispers- She's scary!
Hiyori: WHAT???
Kon: No-nothing!
From Plumalchemyst:
Okay I want to fight Kenpachi and I want the captain that coughs alot to
fight Zoro from one piece XD
Kon: Sure! First match of the chapter – Plumalchemyst versus Zaraki! Fight!
Round 1 – Plumalchemyst VS Zaraki Kenpachi
Zaraki draws his zanpakutou and jumps away from Plumalchemyst's initial attack. With a single shunpo, he is behind the reviewer already. His downwards slash is blocked easily, but he merely grins. Another shunpo, and Plumalchemyst tumbles, rolling and getting up again. Zaraki, however, places his blade to our poor reviewer's neck, with a feral grin.
"Che. I win."
Kon: And so, the winner is Zaraki!
-Zaraki sheathes his zanpakuto and scowls-
Yachiru: But no one here watches One Piece…
and I dare all girls to fight over Uryuu
Uryuu: No.
Kon: But it's the—
Yachiru: Kon-chan, be nice!
Kon: Okay…
From NorthernShinigami:
hitsugaya: ADMITT IT! your small. how did you beat huge dragon like
hyorinmaru?, i mean, with kido or kong-fu or karate? did it break your
lags?:D
Hitsugaya: I AM NOT… -clenches fist- I hate that forfeit… If you really must know, I dodged, dodged some more and poked it in the eye, alright?
gin and hitsugaya: do you plan to end this battle of your? if yes, i wonna
make a bet. who do you think will win?
and someone, please tie matsumoto, i dont want interaption this time!
Yachiru: Why don't we find out now! Let's have another fight!
Round 2 – Hitsugaya Toushirou VS Ichimaru Gin
Gin smiles his trademark smile as Hitsugaya glares, hand on Hyourinmaru's hilt. Hitsugaya performs a shunpo, placing him directly behind Gin, Hyourinmaru going straight for Gin's neck. Gin steps aside neatly, evading Hitsugaya's backhand slash with ease.
"Ikorose… Shinsou."
Shinsou extends, Hitsugaya barely dodging. It grazes his fingers, though, staining Hyourinmaru's hilt with blood.
"Soten ni saze, Hyourinmaru!"
The dragon rears its head, sending a stream of ice directly at Gin. The ice settles, but Gin is nowhere to be found. Hitsugaya begins to turn, and is instantly attacked, barely managing to materialize an icy shield in time. Hyourinmaru chooses that moment to envelop Gin in a crystalline ice prison. Hitsugaya steps back, confident of winning.
Cracks form in the ice, then lengthen, shattering the prison into thousands of tiny shards. Gin steps out, the flicker of a Cero still on his finger. Shinsou extends again, catching the stunned Hitsugaya off guard. Blood flows from the gash in Hitsugaya's stomach, as he raises Hyourinmaru.
"Ban… kai… Daiguren Hyourinmaru!"
The ice dragon forms around Hitsugaya, sealing and numbing his wound.
Gin opens his mouth, the call of his bankai lost in the flurry of reiatsu that causes our poor reviewer to nearly faint. The other shinigami have a hard time standing, even as the dragon rears it's head, ready to swoop—
"Nake, Benihime."
Kisuke: -grins and steps out of portal- Whew! That was close!
Gin and Hitsugaya: -glare-
Kira: -jumps out of portal- Yup! We're back! Hang on… -looks around- … KON!
Kon: Eep! –tries to run-
Kira: -picks up Kon and glares- And would you care to explain why this show has now been messed up?
Kon: -runs off-
Kira: -looks around and sighs- Well, I guess I'll just continue…
From NorthernShinigami: (2nd set)
gin- white skin,silver(bright) .eyes closed-can see.
tosen-black skin,brown(dark) hair. open(could be seeing through his glasis)-BLIND.
aizen:..did you pick theme yourself? seriously-total opposite!
Kira: Um, Aizen isn't here… -glances at Momo-
yumichka and ikkaku: did you already made love?
Ikkaku: What?!
Yumichika: Never! He's not pretty enough!
Kira: -grins- Are you saying that if Ikkaku was prettier…?
Ikkaku and Yumichika: NO WAY!
From Eula Marie:
um, hello. I think this fic rocks -screams in library- seriously, its pure
genius. well i was wondering if Shunsui is on the list of askable characters.
He's in my top 3 fav people in bleach. So i'd like to ask him: Are you
activeley pursuing Nanao for real, and if so, did she reject you, or do you
guys keep your relationship secret? Oh, and where'd you get your haori? its
completely awesome.
Shunsui: Well, since such a lovely person like you requested, I am here to answer!
Nanao: -hits with book- No, he is not… pursuing… me.
Shunsui: How can you say that, Nanao-chan? I'm hurt!
Nanao: -sigh-
Shunsui: The haori, though… my dear Lisa-chan gave it to me!
Nanao: -hits again-
From StardustQueen:
This might be put on later but...
Hitusgaya-taicho *resists urge to call by nickname* I am a VERY BIG FAN OF
YOURS! LOVE YOU SO MUCH! What's it like having a huge fanclub and have you
gotten your first kiss yet? *looks hopeful*
Hitsugaya: No. I don't plan to either.
Rangiku: But taichou! Don't you like Momo?
Hitsugaya: -vein twitches- Matsumoto…
BTW, luv this fanfic. Absolutely hilarious. (Did I mention I love Shiro-chan,
I mean, Hitsugaya-taicho?)
Hitsugaya: Must… not attack… Must… resist…
From l1nk1n-p4rk-4-3v3r:
XDXDXD rotflol aw shorty-kun, why did you forfeit my dare?
Hitsugaya: That's it… -vein continues twitching- I'm leaving.
-Hitsugaya stalks away-
o well...
fight requests:
1 me vs. Zaraki(my zanpaku-to is yukishiro-snow white-and is frost type)[yes
I am crazy lol]
Zaraki: Another challenger? Sure!
Round 3 – Zaraki Kenpachi VS l1nk1n-p4rk-4-3v3r
Zaraki raises his zanpakuto as he prepares to face off with yet another poor soul… human, actually. He moves instantly, the edge of his blade pushing back the other with sheer force.
Of course, this reviewer isn't going down as easily as the first one (sorry Plumalchemyst) and instantly calls out her shikai, snowflakes whirling around her as Zaraki is forced back. A spear of ice flies at Zaraki, only to get cut apart, then another, a cloud of lethal missiles following. Most are cut apart, the others dodged. The ice that rises from the ground to curl around his legs are shattered instantly as he moves, throwing himself through yet another cloud of lethal missiles with barely a scratch, and slashes his zanpakutou diagonally downwards.
It is blocked, though, and as the mist and vapour clear everyone can see the sheet of ice his zanpakutou is embedded in. It takes little effort to break it and pull his sword free, and Zaraki shunpoes, slashing from all directions till the reviewer is careless. The ice fails to halt Zaraki's zanpakutou, which comes to a rest just touching the reviewer's neck.
"I win again."
Yachiru: Yay! Ken-chan won!
Zaraki: Che. The only one I want to fight is you, Ichigo!
Ichigo: Eh… -backs away slowly-
2 Kuchiki-Taicho vs. Ichigo [you can go all out-pretend Rukia is the
prize!xD]
Byakuya: If I win, Kurosaki, you are forbidden to go anywhere near my sister.
Ichigo: Only if you win.
Yachiru: Bya-kun, you're still in a kimono, remember?
Round 4 – Kuchiki Byakuya VS Kurosaki Ichigo
Byakuya glares at an equally defiant Ichigo across the large expanse, the shinigami on either side giving both a wide berth. Senbonzakura is drawn, as is Zangetsu.
Kira: Wait! One more rule – use of Bankai is prohibited. –steps back-
Both hold their zanpakuto ready before them, then in a flash, they are gone, meeting again in the centre, blades crossed. The exchange of blows does little to either side, till Ichigo scores a hit on Byakuya's arm. Byakuya retreats, fixing Ichigo with a piercing stare as he hold Senbonzakura vertically in front of him.
"Chire, Senbonzakura."
The glints of pink fly towards Ichigo, as he merely smirks and steps back.
"Getsuga Tenshou!"
The black wave and pink petals annihilate each other, as both shinigami meet again, Zangetsu pressing against a reformed Senbonzakura. They continue trading blows, neither gaining the edge.
Two hours later…
Kira: -yawns- Let's just move on while we wait for that fight to conclude.
3 shorty-kun[I'm starting to think I have a death wish...] vs. Juu-chan
4 me vs. shorty-kun [yep...definately a death wish lol]
Momo: But Shirou-kun left… Shall I go fetch him?
Kira: Uh, sure! –pushes Momo offstage-
FUNNIEST STORY EVER!
From Lydiacatfish:
Okay, this is one of the fawesomest fanfics I have ever read. So, for the
character vs. character fight, I think it'd be interesting to see Byakuya
fight against Urahara while still in those clothes. XD Then the winner against
Yachiru.
Kira: -glances back- Oh, they're done!
Byakuya: -collapses-
Ichigo: -collapses as well- It's a draw…
Yachiru: Uh-uh! Looks like I'll have to fight Kisuke-kun then!
Kisuke: Nah, Yamamoto wants me to return to Seireitei… -whispers- This time, it's worse than Aizen…
Hiyori: Yeah, seems like the King of Soul Society or whatever is displeased…
Rukia: H-hey! That was supposed to be classified information!
Hiyori: Won't hurt to give people a fair warning, huh?
Then, Nel against cute lil' Captain Hitsugaya Shiro-kun. It'd be interesting.
Kira: Hm… Shirou-chan's not back yet… to make up, Yachiru, would you like to take over!
Yachiru: Sure! Yay! Remember to cheer for me, Ken-chan!
Round 5 – Kusajishi Yachiru VS Nel
Thanks again, your story is fexcellent! God I love that word...
From Artemst:
ne, this is a hilarious fanfic,
chap 11 is a battle? okay, throw hitsugaya at me! Let's see who's zapankuto
is 'cooler', up KooKakera[frozen shard(but actually it's a snow
wolf)] kicks it to the wall five meters away,don't forget that i'm (beep)-ing
strong too!
Arigatou, Kira-kun[if you want me to address you with more formality, just
e-it]
Kira: I'm fine with whatever you want to call me, actually. And we seem to have plenty of ice-based zanpakutous around here, don't we?
Yachiru: Yay! Another fight! But… -looks around- Shorty-chan's still gone…
Matsumoto: Probably making out with Momo somewhere, no need to interrupt! –flips hand-
Kira: Never mind, we'll postpone his fights to next chapter. And of course…
Yachiru: Henjin-taichou invented a cloning machine, so to test it, we'll be cloning three non-Bleach characters and then Kira-chan herself will fight the clones!
Mayuri: -tinkers with strange machine- With luck, I can then perfect the cloning process and obtain an army of character clones before anything happens with the Soul Society King…
Kira: Mm-hm. So! Voting is now open for character clones! The first three to reach seven votes get to be cloned and appear in this fic!
Yachiru: Ja ne, minna-chan! –waves-
-curtains come down-
Kon: -pops up- Finally! And now, it's time for Kon-sama's heroic retu—urrrk…
-hand pulls Kon through curtain-
Mysterious Voice: Hmmm, an interesting specimen. Instead of a gigai body, they used a soft toy… I wonder if it can be dissected…?
Mysterious Voice No. 2: Eeek! No! Lemme goooo!!!
-evil laughter can be heard, fade to black-
A/N: Ahhh, another chapter done, no da! This one was postponed over many, many long hours, day after day… -grins sheepishly- Either way, it's another chapter out na no da! Whee! Even though everyone can probably tell I got lazy writing the last few fights.
So how did the attempt at prose go? I have no idea why I even wrote those bits, apart from it's rather hard to portray a fight through script na no da. And I apologize if I got any reviewers' genders wrong. For some reason, I seem to think everyone is female, no da. Hehehe.
Voting for character clones is open till I announce it closed, or until three characters reach seven votes each na no da. Only anime, manga or video game characters allowed. And, um, no One Piece. Sorry.
Oh, and this story might actually evolve a plotline later on. Now I've warned you na no da…
(Been watching too much Gravitation again na no da…)
P.S. Damn. Forgot to re-line the reviews. Never mind.