Alia- Sorry we've been taking so long.

Kosa- At least we put more out.

Kai- Yeah.

Rei- Here's the 4th installment of jokes.

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Botan's Funny Sayings and Questions

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "...that was fun!"-

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."

The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

Koenma says I never listen to him (at least I think that's what he said).

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called LABOR!

Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Chu's List of What not to Say to a Cop

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

5. Are You Andy or Barney?

6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

8. I pay your salary!

9. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around.. That's how far ahead of me they are.

12. When the Officer says "Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

Koenma's Newspaper Headlines of 2035

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions inthe seventh largest country in the world, California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the California's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops & livestock.

Baby conceived naturally... Scientists stumped.

Authentic year 2000 "chad" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screw-drivers and baseball bats must be registered by January 2036.

Going to a Hockey Game

Jin, Rinku and Touya and Yusuke, Kurama and Kuwabara were traveling to a hockey game.

Yusuke, Kurama and Kuwabara each buy tickets and watch as Jin, Rinku and Touya buy only a single ticket.

"How are you three going to travel on only one ticket?", asks Yusuke.

"Watch and you'll see," says Jin. They all board the train. Yusuke, Kurama and Kuwabara take their respective seats but Jin, Rinku and Touya cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says, "Ticket please!" The door opens a crack, a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. Yusuke, Kurama and Kuwabara see this and agree it was quite a clever idea.

So after the game they decide to copy Jin, Rinku and Touya on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment Jin, Rinku and Touya don't buy a ticket at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks a perplexed Kurama.

"Watch and you'll see," replies Touya.

When they board the train Yusuke, Kurama and Kuwabara cram into a bathroom and Jin, Rinku and Touya cram into another bathroom nearby.

Once the train leaves the station, Rinku leaves and walks over to the other bathroom where Yusuke, Kurama and Kuwabara are hiding, knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please!"

Yusuke at College Oreintation

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $25 the first time."

He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $50. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $100. Are there any questions?"

At this point, Yusuke inquired:

"How much for a season pass?"

Chu's Windows 2005 Southern Edition Understanding

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Windows 2005 Southern Edition may have accidentally been shipped outside of the south.

If you have one of these, you may need help understanding the commands. The Southern Edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 2005, with a background picture of Waylon and Willie superimposed on a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Please also note:

The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"

My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"

Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"

Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"

Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"

Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"

Instead of an error message, "Duct Tape" pops up.

Changes in Terminology In Southern Edition:

Cancel...stopdat

Reset...try'er agin

Yes...yep

No...nope

Find...hunt fer it

Go to...over yonder

Back...back yonder

Help...hep me out here

Stop...kwitit (WHOA!)

Start...crank'er up

Settings...settins

Programs... stuff at duz stuff

Documents... .stuff ah done did

Keiko's List of ' You know It's Going to Be a Bad Day When...'

-Your twin forgets your birthday.

-You wake up face down on the pavement.

-You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.

-You see a "60 Minutes news team" waiting in your outer office.

-Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

-You turn on the TV news and they're displaying emergency routes out of your city.

-The woman you've been seeing on the side begins to look like your wife.

-Your horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.

-You have an appointment in 10 minutes and you just woke up!

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Alia- Sorry it's taken forever but I like to build up a collection of jokes before putting more out.

Kosa- Later until next time!