Well, it seems that I get more and more evil with each chapter. And if that's the case, you guys are going to hate me when I'm done with this one.

Seven: Blackmail

Hikaru lay on the couch, not bothering with the dishes that stand on the table from the night before. His mind was too jumbled to do anything at that moment. All that was on his thoughts was the unspeakable act he must perform.

How could he have let this happen? He should have known better then to display affection in public! Now he had allowed the end of both of their worlds. Despair flowed through him like poison. He thought about killing himself, but he was too much of a coward to do it. Besides, if he had to hurt Kaoru, he certainly was not going to do it by having him grieve over his dead body. Maybe if he did it after he betrayed Kaoru, it wouldn't hurt him as much.

"Hikaru?"

Hikaru's eyes shut instantly, and he pretended to be asleep.

No yet, he begged, please don't make me do it yet.

He could here Kaoru's footsteps on the floor around him. He could tell that his twin was standing right next to him. He tried his best not to move. After a moment or two, he heard footsteps leaving him and towards the kitchen. Hikaru kept his eyes closed.

A minute or so later, he could begin to smell something cooking. Once more, he heard footsteps, and the smell grew stronger. Kaoru started to gently shake him.

"Hikaru? Hikaru, are you awake?"

No use trying to fake it now, he thought.

He opened his eyes to see Kaoru's smiling face.

"Morning! How are you feeling?"

Hikaru grunted and sat up to see a bowl of soup sitting on the coffee table.

"What's this?" he asked, pointing at the chicken noodle.

"Well, I figured you weren't feeling well since you slept out here, so I made you some soup." Hikaru looked away as he sat next to him. "So are you alright? Do you have a fever or something?" He made his way up to Hikaru's forehead. Hikaru, however, took it away.

"I'm fine," he muttered. "I don't want any soup."

Kaoru was taken aback slightly at Hikaru's bluntness, but he seemed determined.

"Are – are you sure? You don't seem fine."

"Well I am."

Kaoru frowned. "Hikaru, you're worrying me. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine."

"No you're not. Something's not right, and you're hiding it. What's going on?"

"Nothing!" he spat, still not turning around.

"Don't lie to me! Tell me what is going on!"

"Nothing is going on!" Hikaru thrust up from the couch in anger. Kaoru jumped back into his seat and grabbed the cushion beneath him. "I'm not sick, alright? Nothing's wrong! Nothing's the matter! Got that! NOW GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" In his rage, Hikaru threw the soup onto the floor. The bowl shattered against the hard wood, and the hot liquid splattered every ware. He looked over at Kaoru, who's face showed pure fear and confusion. It was then that he realized what he had just done.

"Kaoru… I'm… I'm sorry… I didn't mean – " He brought his hand to him, but Kaoru moved out of his reach, tears forming in his eyes. He then turned and ran to their room, crying.

------

As he left, Hikaru dropped to his knees limply and softly sobbed on the floor.

Hikaru sat on the porch, thinking about the previous morning. He had raged out at Kaoru, the one innocent in this whole conundrum, simply because he was upset with himself. It seemed that he could hurt Kaoru even without Éclair's help.

Earlier on, his mother asked Hikaru what was wrong, and if he was going to stay there all day. He answered to neither questions. He was hanging onto one shred of hope that if he stayed in one place and said nothing, he wouldn't have to interact with Kaoru. Of course, the isolation hurt, but he could with stand it if it meant not having to break his twin's heart.

But his only hope was shred to pieces later that night as he felt a blanket being draped over his shoulders. He looked up to see Kaoru, a weak smile on his face and a rice ball in his hand.

"Here," he said, offering him the food. "You haven't eaten all day."

Hikaru turned away as Kaoru sat down.

"How… how can you stand to look at me?" he whispered, almost as if to himself.

Kaoru tried to make eye contact, but in vain. So instead, he answered. "Well, you're my brother and I love you." Hikaru grabbed the ends of his blanket as if they would give him some comfort. "Look," Kaoru continued, "if you don't want to talk about whatever is bothering you, that's fine. But I just want you to know that I'm hear for you, ok? Whenever you need me."

Hikaru's back went rigid. He tried to steady his breath, but no luck. His breathing came out choppy, like short little sobs. He then felt Kaoru's hand on his back, rubbing up and down. It was enough to make Hikaru want to die. In front of them, it had begun to rain.

If I don't do it now, he thought, I never will. And who knows how long the bitch will give me before she has us arrested?

So, without another thought, he braced himself and said "There's someone else."

Kaoru froze. He took his hand away and looked at him with widening eyes. "Wha… what? Hikaru… you're lying… tell me you're lying."

"I'm not. It's… it's Haruhi. I… I have feelings…"

Kaoru started to hyperventilate. "But… but yesterday… yesterday you said…!"

"That was yesterday…"

Kaoru couldn't believe what he was hearing. This… this just couldn't be possible. He wouldn't let it be possible! Kaoru grabbed him by the shoulders and turned Hikaru to face him.

"You're lying! You are! I know you are!"

"I'm not."

"Then look at me. Look at me and tell me you don't love me anymore!"

Hikaru stared into his watering, identical eyes. He felt his heart rip into shreds. He could only imagine what Kaoru was going through.

Yes, he thought, yes, I'm a liar! I love you Kaoru! I love you with all my heart! Which is why… I have to do this…

"I don't love you anymore."

Kaoru… forgive me…

Kaoru looked at him in pure shock.

"No… no, Hikaru… please… tell me it's not true…"

He looked down. "I wish I could…"

Kaoru's grip tightened on Hikaru's shoulders. He let his head fall and his tears flow.

"Hikaru… no…"

He wanted to hold him, wanted to tell him it wasn't true, wanted to love him.

But he couldn't.

In a fit of frustration, Hikaru jerked out of his brother's grasp, and began to run through the rain. As he ran, he could hear Kaoru call out his name.

"Hikaru! Hikaru, stop! HIKARU!"

I know, you hate me, right? Tell me what you think!

T.