Zal- Sorry it's short. Couldn't find any good ones this time around.

Rei- Here's the 7th installment of jokes.

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Yusuke and The Donkey

A city boy, Yusuke, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer named Kurama for $100.00. The Kurama agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day Kurama drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died."

Yusuke replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."

Kurama said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

Yusuke said, "OK then, just unload the donkey."

Kurama asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"

Yusuke, "I'm going to raffle him off."

Kurama, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

Yusuke, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."

A month later Kurama met up with Yusuke and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"

Yusuke, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00."

Kurama, "Didn't anyone complain?"

Yusuke, " Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."

Botan's list of things Men take for Granted.

1) Your last name stays put.

2) The garage is all yours.

3) Wedding plans take care of themselves.

4) Chocolate is just another snack.

5) You can never be pregnant.

6) You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

7) You can wear no T-shirt to a water park.

8) Car mechanics tell you the truth.

9) The world is your urinal.

10) You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just 'too icky'.

11) You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

12) Same work, more pay.

13) Wrinkles add character.

14) Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental - $100.

15) People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

Kuwabara and Shingles

Kuwabara walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.

He said, "Shingles."

So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

A few minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles."

So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room.

Ten minutes later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. Kuwabara said, "Shingles."

So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

Fifteen minutes later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles."

The doctor said, "Where?"

Kuwabara said, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"

Hiei's Little Story

I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, "Hi! I'm Botan!" This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, "All I need you to do is step into this room right hereee, strip to the waist, thennn slip on this gown.

Everything clearrrr?

I'm thinking, "Botan, try decaf. This ain't rocket science."

Botan skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right side finished, Botan flipped me (literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?'

Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity, when we heard, then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off!

"Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag." Botan headed for the door.

"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I shouted.

Botan kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be rightttt backkk."

Before I could shout "NOOOO!" she disappeared. And that's exactly how Yusuke and Kuwabara, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging polite "Hi, how's it going" type greetings, Yusuke (or possibly Kuwabara) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible "Uh, yes, yes I did thanks."

"You bet, take care" Yusuke replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Botan breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry!" The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps...

Jin and the Light Bulb

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off.

So I hung upside down from the ceiling and made funny noises.

My co-worker, Chu, asked me what I was doing? I told him that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb. He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days."

I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker followed me, the Boss said to him, "And where do you think you're going?"

He said, "I'm obviously going home too, I can't work in the dark!"

Kurama's list of School Excuse Notes from Parents (actual spellings)

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School: Please excuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins .

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. words in ( )'s were crossed out.

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault. .

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.

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Zal- Sorry it took so long, I almost forgot about this collection I had.

Kosa- Later until next time!