Weee! I got a virtual cookie in one of my last reviews! Thanks, AyamiLee. Now back to the story!

Eight – Gone Forever

Hikaru ran and ran and ran. He had no idea how long he ran, or where he was going, but he didn't care. He just wanted to get away as fast as he could, as far as he could. He wanted to go somewhere where he couldn't be found. Somewhere where Kaoru wouldn't have to look at him any more. He sloshed through the rain, until his muscles burned and his body screamed for him to stop. Finally, though, he did.

He ended up in an alleyway, and leaned against a brick building to catch his breath. The rain had soaked him so much, he couldn't decipher what was water, what was sweat, and what was tears.

"Give me all your money, kid!" said a voice behind him. Hikaru turned to see a man with a gun, pointed straight at him. Exhausted, Hikaru rested his head against the wall.

"I don't have any money," he said, honestly.

"Bullshit! Give me your money!"

"I really don't have any. But if you're going to kill me, just do it, ok?"

"I just might if you don't cough up your cash! Now!"

He sighed and tilted his head towards the rain. "Well, then it looks like you have to. Just hurry up, will you?"

The man lowered his gun slightly.

"You mean… you wanna die?"

He looked at him. "Honestly?" He thought for a second. Thought of all the pain he would induce and endure. Thought of how badly he had hurt the only one he loved. He thought about Kaoru. He turned to say "yes", but before he could –

"HIKARU!"

Hikaru's eyes widened as Kaoru came out of nowhere and jumped on the thug with the gun. He began to buck like a bull with Kaoru jerking on his back. In a quick thrust, the man flung Kaoru off him, making the red head hit the wall. Hikaru ran to him.

"Kaoru! Wha – ! What are you – !"

Kaoru looked at him. "What? You didn't think I'd let you go just like that, did you?" he said, rubbing his head.

In front of them, the man cocked his gun and now pointed it at Kaoru.

"You're gonna pay for that little stunt!" he swore. But before he could do anything else, Hikaru ran for the man and grabbed his arms. Thus began a dancing battle of dominance over the weapon.

"Kaoru!" he yelled during the struggle. "Get out of here! Now!"

"I'm not leaving you!" he said.

The fray between Hikaru and the gunman forced he weapon up in the air, the man still hanging onto it.

"I'm serious!" Hikaru continued. "Go!"

"I won't!"

The gun that was once in the air now was being pushed down to the side, pointing towards Kaoru's direction.

"Kaoru, just go!"

"No! I won't leave you!"

"Go!"

"No!"

"GO!"

"I WILL NOT!"

BANG

Hikaru could feel his heart stop completely. The volume around him seemed to shut down, except for the loud "thump" Kaoru made while falling to the ground. He did not hear the gunman running the opposite way, nor did he hear the thunder above him. He didn't even hear himself scream his brother's name. Hikaru ran to him and held his head.

He looked down at Kaoru's stomach to see a deep red spot forming at his abdomen, rain dispersing it around his shirt. He looked back into his twins eyes, which were half open.

"Kaoru!" he raved. "You idiot! You should have left when I told you to!" In the back of his throat, he could feel a knot forming. Kaoru smiled weakly.

"Sorry…" he mumbled. "I guess I am an idiot…"

Hikaru's eyes began to burn. But he refused to cry. He did not want to show weakness; not when his brother was so injured.

"Don't talk," said Hikaru, "just – just save your energy, ok? I'm going to get you to a hospital."

He put his arm under Kaoru's legs and attempted to lift him up. However, as he elevated him, Kaoru groaned in pain. So, Hikaru put him back down.

"Ok – I'll just get help, alright?"

He made to leave when Kaoru grabbed his arm.

"Hikaru… please… just stay with me…"

There was a pause. Hikaru looked into Kaoru's pleading eyes.

"Alright," he said, kneeling beside him. Kaoru's hand moved from his arm down to his own hand and grasped it tightly. He could feel himself tremble.

"Hikaru… you were lying… weren't you?"

Hikaru's mouth opened. He had seen right through him. Right through his lie and deceit. He had seen right through to his heart. It was in that moment when all of his resolve not to show weakness dissipated in his tears that leaked onto his cheeks. He completely and totally let go.

Grabbing tighter onto Kaoru's hand, Hikaru began to sob.

"Yes! Yes I lied! I do love you, Kaoru! I love you more then you know! I always have! I'm nothing without you! And I've been nothing for five years!" He stopped his confession enough to let out several hysterical cries. "What I said… Kaoru… I didn't mean it… any of it… I love you… God, I love you so much…"

Hikaru looked up as Kaoru's other hand rested on top of his. Kaoru smiled as tears leaked down his cheeks.

"Hikaru… it's alright… if no one else… understands…"

Hikaru could not take his eyes away from Kaoru's if the fate of the world depended on it. Slowly, he leaned forward to Kaoru, grip still tightening on his hand, and placed one last, firm kiss on his quivering lips. He sat there for a minute or two, trying to hang on to this one moment.

But when he lifted his head back up and opened his eyes, Kaoru remained motionless, his hand limp in Hikaru's grip.

The sound had turned back on as a clash of thunder and lightning lit up the sky, drowning out Hikaru's hysterical cries.

------

Everyone came to the funeral, save Éclair, who heard what happened and then disappeared soon after. All who came gave their condolences to Hikaru, but he did not hear a word of it. Nor did he hear the eulogy given by the priest, or the weeps of his mother. All he could hear was his own buzzing thoughts of guilt.

It was his fault Kaoru was dead. He didn't care if everyone tried to convince him otherwise. He knew it was his fault. If he had not allowed himself to play into Éclair's hands, Kaoru wouldn't be dead, and Hikaru would not be alone.

At the funeral, he supposed he should be crying. He supposed he should be miserable, but he was not. Though he knew Kaoru's death was his fault, this information did not make him fall to pieces. In fact, it did just the opposite. As he sat on the grassy hill where Kaoru's grave lay, holding his mother's hand, he felt nothing. He did not shed one tear during that service, or speak one word.

"Are you staying?"

Hikaru looked over at Tamaki, recognizing the first words he heard all day. He stood at the foot of the hill with Haruhi as the rest of the group went back to their cars. Hikaru took his time before answering.

"I'll catch up with you guys later," was all he said.

When all were gone, Hikaru knelt at Kaoru's freshly filled grave and set a single white rose next to all the other flowers. In his mind, he began to remember all the times he and Kaoru had together. He remembered their earlier birthdays, where people would give them the wrong presents because they couldn't tell who was who. He remembered those times they would hide under the covers and tell scary stories by flashlight. He remembered their first fight which happened to be over a favorite toy. He remembered playing hide and go seek, and always knowing where he would hide. He remembered it all.

It was then that he knew Kaoru would not want him to blame himself for this. He knew that Kaoru would tell him it's not his fault and he would love him no matter what.

As he thought about this, he began to smile. As he did, he whipped a tear away from his cheek, and turned to leave.

Ok, for those of you who I nearly made cry last time, I hope you have your tissues out! So! Give me an over view! What did you like/hate? Be honest!

T.