Of Two Hearts
Chapter 8: Subjectivity of Pain
A promise said doesn't mean it's a promise done, but two hearts want it to be done. The promise between the monkey and the princess was a simple promise in their childhood, but proved so much harder later on. Through anything would they suffer, just to have this promise done.
***
Goku was walking into the village to pick up a bountiful catch of fish from the fishermen at the docks. A portion of the fish would go to the kingdom and to everyone who had worked hard and needed to eat. The crops over there were starting to whither as winter began to approach.
As Goku came close to the pier, he saw that some fishermen were still working, and children played in the streets, watching out for stagecoaches and wagons. Goku walked on the wooden planks of the pier, and sighed.
After this, he would have to go back and spend a day with the samurai. This was the one day they didn't have to train so hard, and could relax a bit. There was nothing wrong with the guys, but there was someone else Goku would rather spend his time with…
Something scuffed Goku's foot suddenly as it swished by. He looked down and saw a little girl crawling to the edge of the pier, where her cornhusk doll teetered back and forth, almost falling off.
"Hey, don't go out and get it," Goku warned the little girl. "I don't want you to fall off. Here, let me get it."
The little girl shook her head and turned around to get the doll. "I've got it, mister…"
But when she reached for the doll with both hands, she lost her balance and fell over, her arms waving wildly. But before she could hit the water below the pier, she felt something wrap around her waist, lifting her out of midair.
The girl looked up curiously at Goku, and saw he held her with no hands. Then she looked at a furry tail wrapped around her waist. She blinked, astounded, and Goku merely walked back to where it was safe and handed her the doll he saved.
The girl took it and held it close to her, and then gently tugged at Goku's tail. "Thank you. Can you put me down, mister?"
Goku set her down on the ground, and unwrapped his tail from around her waist. Then he heard something.
"That's right! You better put my baby girl down!" an angry voice called several feet from the pier.
Goku saw a furious man run towards the girl, and figured he was the father. The father examined his daughter all over, asking her questions, but the girl simply told him that Goku had saved her.
The father glared up at Goku. "This monster?! Rei, don't speak such lies! He's a beast! Look at that tail!" He growled. "Where is Wakaru when you need him? This is a report he missed!"
Though he was angry with Goku, the father picked up his daughter and ran, thinking Goku might hurt either one of them. Goku blinked, and then turned when he heard another voice.
"S-Sir Goku, here's the catch," a fisherman stuttered, handing Goku a large net. His eyes never left Goku's tail, and it was clear he was scared. Goku came close to take the net, but the man dropped it and ran back to the docks.
Goku just picked up the net and began the journey back home, ignoring all the ponderous eyes on him, and the whispering of individuals.
***
After a meal, the samurai all went to a hot spring in the farther country to relax. Today, they wouldn't have to worry about training. Just for today, they could chill out before being greeted by a strenuous session tomorrow.
The samurai had stripped themselves and sunk into the comforting water of the hot spring, talking about various things, like the old friends they were.
Goku went along for the heck of it, and just followed the samurai's examples of sprawling their clothes on the surrounding bushes and going into the water nude. He sunk in next to Wakaru and sighed.
It had only been a few minutes until peace and rowdy talk had gone away.
"H-Hey, fellows?" one samurai stuttered, pointing behind Goku. "I th-thought this spring was private. 'Cause there's an animal behind you, Goku…"
The other samurai looked at Goku, and went pale at the sight of a tail peeking above the water, like a periscope. Wakaru was the only one who wasn't surprised; instead, he seemed to have a guilty look on his face, as if he had been caught of a crime.
Goku froze instantly. He had let his guard down! The others had noticed!
"It's behind you, Goku!" a samurai cried. "Don't sit there! Move!"
Another samurai pulled Goku away from his spot, and was horrified to know that the tail only followed to wherever Goku was.
At this discovery, several samurai yelled, panicking. "YOU are the animal!! Everyone, get out!!"
Even Wakaru was quick to leave the spring and duck behind the bushes, getting dressed in a hurry.
Goku could only sit in the water, thinking of his fate unwinding. Why explain himself? The others wouldn't believe him, and would only deny his humanity. Goku could only guess what other wrong things could possibly branch off this.
Even as he heard the others run away, Goku still sat there, focusing on his hopeless case. His secret was revealed, and he was done. All he had left were the words in his head.
"YOU are the animal!"
"He's a beast!"
"He's not normal! He's a strange man!"
"Is he even a man?"
"He's a monster!"
Goku's eyes narrowed. I really am a monster…?
***
The news of Goku's discovery spread through the villages like wildfire. Now it was clear why Goku had seemed eccentric and his qualities were revealed. The samurai hadn't intentionally spread the word, due to the code of bushido.
However, the clear look on their faces spoke the word for them. The peasants complained to them about the fear in their hearts. They were afraid of this strange human-beast creature that had murdered mankind.
Even though they begged the samurai, the peasants weren't satisfied. They had townspeople on their side, and constantly reminded the Officials about Goku.
Quick to action, the Officials had the samurai agreeing to a plan to keep the townspeople and peasants happy. They watched Goku closely and limited his activities.
Goku was like a dog on a leash, held by an overprotective owner. He couldn't feel angry or anything. He knew hypocrisy and fear were the reason why he was tied up like this. He didn't try to escape. The truth kept him from doing it.
Every word spoken about him was true.
Right now, Goku was still in the kingdom, and helped the artisans with their crafty work. They made swords, armor, helmets, shields, and other material projects. Goku was in the dark, dusty room with a fireplace.
He sat on a small stool in front of a wheel of iron and a flame, working on sharpening his sword. He had been working all day on making, crafting, sharpening, and designing swords.
By this time, he had figured he'd sharpen his own sword too. Quietly and morosely, he worked on his sword, his back to the front of the tent, where people had sneaked up.
"Are you certain?"
One townsman looked hesitantly at his two companions, who kept staring at Goku's tail lying flat down the stool and onto the floor. Their predictions were correct. There was indeed an animal tail there… But was it real, they wondered.
"Of course, you fool," the second townsman whispered to the first. "Just pull it. This is the only way we'll know for sure if the rumor is true…"
The first townsman gulped and slowly reached for Goku's tail, but the third townsman sighed. "Make haste! There's nothing to fear! It's made of the same material of our winter coverings. It's the same fur."
The first townsman frowned, and then as sure as he was close enough, he grabbed Goku's tail and yanked hard, seeing if it was real.
Oh, it was real.
"YOW!!" Goku cried, leaping up from his seat, dropping his sword. His hands reached for his rear end, where the pain of the yank had spread. When he landed on the ground again, he saw the three townsmen back away, just as afraid as he was.
"It's real, it's real!" the first cried hysterically.
"You really are a monster!" the second accused.
"Let us go! Hastily!" the third announced.
***
Vegeta could hear the commotion from upstairs in the third turret, and ignored the protests of people as he rushed past them and downstairs outdoors. He didn't have time to listen to the people worry about his health. He had almost recovered fully anyway.
Thanks to Vegeta's secret Saiyan senses, he was able to locate Goku in his time of pain. He burst through the tent, looking around angrily. He glared at Goku. "What happened? Huh?"
Vegeta stopped as he saw several samurai surrounding Goku, as they heard the yell too. But the samurai were holding Goku down on his knees. They had automatically thought the yell came from an innocent person who was being hurt by Goku.
They had also seen three men run away from the tent, and so they assumed it.
Then Vegeta's eyes widened as he saw Goku had a tail. There's no mistake about it, he thought. He's a true Saiyan…
"Look, Prince Vegeta," one samurai said, pulling Goku's hair up so that he could see Goku's face. "I know you have heard the reports and complaints about this one, but he's a beast! Take a look at that tail. It's real!"
Vegeta nodded sharply and frowned. "I know. What happened?"
"Well?" the same samurai said, yanking Goku's hair. "Speak to your Prince when he address you."
Goku growled and slurred from the pain. "I'm telling you… I didn't do anything. I was just doing the artisans' work, and those three townsmen came up to experiment on me. They yanked on my tail. I didn't lay a finger on them…"
The other samurai all spoke harshly at once, accusing Goku of being a liar. "How couldn't we have noticed before? You're the real monster that's causing the fear in these innocent people's hearts!"
Vegeta merely sighed and walked away, leaving them to work out their own problems.
Soon, Wakaru came into the tent, hearing the other samurai's anger, and he frowned at them. "Look at you all, treating Goku like this and holding him as if he were nothing more than a piece of cloth. He's a fellow warrior! Release him at once!"
The other samurai slowly obeyed, though they were still argumentative inside. "H-Hai, Tachihama-san…"
Wakaru then walked over to Goku and picked him up off the floor. He dusted his clothes off and then glared at the other samurai. "You all should be filled with shame. Nevermind his condition. Now return to your duties."
Wakaru walked away, leaving the other samurai to think about what they've done. They spoke only when Goku had followed Wakaru out of the tent.
One samurai crossed his arms. "Hmph. I don't care if he is our captain. Wakaru has no right to speak to us that way. He ran along with us, away from Goku, when we were at the hot spring."
Another nodded. "I'm tired of hearing everyone complain about one man-beast. There must be a way to get rid of him. He's causing everyone too much pain."
Wakaru hadn't noticed that Goku had followed him back to his quarter. He turned around once he was at his door and then looked at Goku, confused. "What are you doing? I thought you were sharpening your sword." Goku nodded. "I'm done now, and I'd like to rest."
Wakaru frowned and looked hesitant. He opened the door and stepped inside his quarter, closing the door behind him. Lost, Goku put his foot in the door's way. He caught Wakaru's look when their eyes met.
"What are you doing?" he asked him.
Wakaru gently continued to close the door, and when Goku's foot was almost nearly crushed, he looked up at him. "I only did that to spare you, Goku. But this is too far. Everyone is afraid of you, Goku. I can't share my room with an animal… In addition, I do not wish to anger you."
He closed the door, and Goku turned away.
***
With a broken heart, Goku retreated to the tallest tree by the second turret of the palace. He sat on the second highest branch, where he thought no one could find him. He looked like a tiny dot to the people on the ground, and his clothing blended him in with the tree's branches.
It was here in this tree that Goku thought about everything that had happened to him so far.
All of this started when he had agreed to marry Chi-Chi and that he'd go with her to get married. What was marriage anyway, he wondered. And then, he doesn't know how or why, but he's not allowed to marry her.
That didn't bother him too much, he guessed, but it did feel lonely when he was taken away from Chi-Chi.
She was the only person he knew, and had grown to have strange, unspoken feelings for. But he hardly had time to see her, but he knew that every meeting they had was special to him.
Goku worked hard as a slave, under cruel conditions, but slowly worked his way up as a vassal to a samurai. He was treated better until he fell ill. Then all the trouble started.
All the name-calling, accusations, threats of death, rumors and lies… And his tail had grown back too.
How? Why? These were the questions he wondered.
And then to add onto the pain, he couldn't be let off of the people who were angry and/or afraid of him. Of course, it was to be expected after he transformed into a Saiyan ape. He wished he hadn't seen the full moon that night.
Kami, why did there have to be a full moon that night…?
What hurt the most was the pile-up he had stored away deep inside him.
First, he was taken away from his friends to go marry this girl. Would he never see them again? Even then, when he had learned to have certain feelings for this girl, he's not allowed to be with her.
Then, he went through all this pain and merely stood there as people slandered him. They maligned his name and what he stood for.
It was insult added to injury, and it hurt. No one liked him. Everyone wanted to stay away from him. Except Chi-Chi…
Goku turned over in his tree, and curled up into a ball. Why couldn't he just go home? It's obvious I'm not wanted here… I should go, but I can't. I wouldn't even know where to go. I know I'm only hurting myself if I stay away from Chi-Chi, too…
He thought, and then sighed.
It felt like his heart had dropped ten feet, dripping the tears he refused to have on his face, and the blood he refused to shed from his pain.
Deserted, weak, alone, hated…
Goku closed his eyes, wishing he could just have one rush of wisdom. What should he do? How can he make amends?
How can he go on?
"Goku?"
His inspiration came right then.
***
Goku turned over in the tree at the sound of that beautiful voice. Goku faced the opposite side of the branch near the turret. The large cutaway from the turret served as a window, where Chi-Chi stood.
She seemed puzzled to see Goku in a tree. "What are you doing there? Shouldn't you be out with the samurai?"
Goku sighed. "They hate me. Everyone hates me. They're angry or afraid."
He looked away, seeming upset himself. "Why aren't you?"
Chi-Chi blinked, never seeing Goku so down before. She didn't like the way he was looking either. The essence of pain and sorrow shone in his eyes.
"Well, first of all, I don't feel the way they do," Chi-Chi answered, leaning against the cutaway on her elbows, her hands cupping her face. "I already told you how I felt about you. I'm not afraid anymore, and I never was angry with you."
"But you were surprised to see my tail," Goku said.
"I know," Chi-Chi responded, and reached for the tree branch. She swung herself on it and sat next to Goku. Goku had been leaning in the opposite direction, only his free hand laying on the thick branch to his left.
Chi-Chi reached for his hand, and when she held it, she received a soft, childish look from Goku that made her smile. "I told you this too. I love you," she said. "I don't love you any less than when I found out you had your tail again."
Goku seemed to soften. He still didn't know what Chi-Chi meant exactly, but all he knew was that it felt nice. Lately it seemed she was the only one to bring him a little bit of happiness.
"Thank you," Goku said, and then looked at her curiously. "How did you know I was here?"
Chi-Chi giggled. "Goku, don't be silly. You were right by this window, which is down the hall from my bedchamber. I walk here all the time. Of course I'd see you."
"Oh," Goku said, and then gave her a worried look. "But aren't you supposed to be somewhere away from me? I don't want you to get caught. Besides, I don't think elegant princesses should climb trees just to see a scruffy, lowly subject."
A mixed look of determination, thoughtfulness, and sincerity crossed Chi-Chi's face. She looked away, scoffing. "Who cares? That's what I hate, Goku. Everyone expects me to be perfect, like a goddess, just because of who I am. Believe me, I'm proud to be who I am. I like being a princess. I just don't like everything that comes with it."
She sighed. "They think I'm supposed to do everything perfectly with a smile on my face, no questions asked, regardless of how I feel. But I do feel. I'm a human with feelings. What's the point of trying to become this great person if you can't feel anything?"
She grew quiet now, and her cheeks tinted a rosy color. "But with you… I feel a lot of things. I felt something strong with you, Goku, even on the first day we met. I… I don't know how to explain it exactly, but I just felt a strong vibe, and that's why I'm stuck on you."
It was then that Chi-Chi realized she and Goku were still holding hands. She looked up at Goku, lost in his adorable, understanding eyes. She wanted to throw her arms around him and…and… That was a stupid thought.
Goku gently slipped his hand out of Chi-Chi's and turned away. "You should go now. Pretty soon, they're going to start looking for you."
He helped Chi-Chi climb safely back inside the turret, and smiled slightly. Chi-Chi was worried about his fake smile, and a certain look in his eyes. "I know things aren't easy for you, Goku, but please… Whatever you decide to do, remember me."
Her eyes cast down now. "I know the logical thing to do is to escape pain, and if you do leave, I don't mind. I want you to be happy, and I know you aren't happy here. I mean, if you stayed here, that would be the best thing for me. But that's not right. Even if I'll never see you again, at least you would be safe and happy…"
Chi-Chi's eyes fluttered closed when she felt Goku's warm hand cup her cheek. "Don't worry," he said gently. "I'm not going to run away. I wasn't taught to run from my problems. I'm going to stay here, and keep on being here whenever you want to see me."
He felt like leaning in and touching her lips with his, just like she had done to him twice before. Now he finally understood the urge to give her a kiss at the right time. But this time, it wasn't permitted.
"I promise," he assured her, stroking her cheek. "I'll be here."
***
Later that night, Goku awoke from his slumber in the tree. He had stayed in the tree, still thinking about his circumstance, until he had fallen asleep. It was now very dark outside, and the crickets were chirping.
Goku yawned and climbed down from the tree. He had to find a real place to sleep. Thoughts of his soft bed at Wakaru's quarter kept appearing in his mind, but he shook it off.
Wakaru refused to accept him.
Goku set his feet on the ground, and looked around to make sure he was safe. When he felt he was, he began to walk forward in the leafy mass, until he heard a bush rustle.
Ignoring it, he walked forward, but suddenly felt the ground was uneven. There was a hole there. Probably to trap an animal, Goku figured and walked around it.
The rustling in the bushes happened again, and Goku stepped to the side, so he could face the bush. However, he didn't get a good look. In the blink of an eye, he felt himself being lifted up, the wind pressing into his face as he involuntarily curled into a ball.
Muffling, squirming, and trying to escape the darkness, Goku felt the rope material of a net around him as he hung upside down from a tree limb.
He had been caught like an animal.
"Well, now, what do we have ourselves here, boys?"
The rustling in the bushes happened once again as two men stepped out from behind it and walked to the man that had spoken. He was standing in front of the net, and held a lit lantern up to study Goku in the net.
"It's the ape-man! We've caught the ape-man!" one man cheered.
The second man eyed Goku and scoffed. He faced the third man in front and took the lantern from him. "You sure this is what you want, Koto?"
From inside the net, Goku squirmed violently, fidgeting, and burning with anger and fear. What happened? Why couldn't he escape? Who were these strange voices in the darkness? The only lights were the stars shining dimly. The man nearest the net was dirty, a little old, and rugged.
He chuckled as he leaned close to Goku's face, and Goku could smell alcohol on the man's breath.
"It sure is what I want, Saku," he answered the second man. He chuckled again and yanked hard at Goku's tail sticking out from the net. He heard a groan of agony from Goku, and then balled his bare fist to strike the back of his head.
Another groan, and then Goku's head rolled backwards.
Koto was satisfied to know Goku had passed out.
"I've got you now, beast."
To be continued…
Chapter Nine: A Fateful Test
A/N:
(1) Introducing the newest jerks, Koto, Saku, and the third mystery man (who will be revealed in the next chapter). The names are funky, huh? Koto is a Japanese stringed instrument; Saku is a cutoff of the name Sakura, which means, "pink cherry blossoms". (This is a girl's name, by the way)
Candy the Duck: Here you go.
Caryl Mc: It's always good to see new reviewers, and I thank you. Yay! Another G/CC fan. There are so few of us. I'm glad you like my fanfic. Heh, look at it this way. G/CC aren't exactly a couple in my fanfic, but you know they are in real life.
Lady Athena X: Thanks. I tried to create an effect like that. I feel your pain of school stuff. But senior year will soon be over for us! Yes, angst rules! I think that's the strongest point of my writing. I knew I disguised Shi Lu's evilness, but not this well. After all, she was watching him and she did help trigger the growth of his tail. The feelings between G/CC are somewhat at stake, but we still know love will be in the air. Chi-Chi will learn to feel comfortable around Goku.
Lady Thundera: Yep. Vegeta's ultimate torture. He knows he can't kill Goku in his ape form, but he wants to try nonetheless. I'm glad you liked the G/CC moment. I had other plans, but I'll stick to keeping the crowd happy. The biting part of the Saiyan bond and stuff could've happened, but I like this version too. But withdrawing blood is kinda creepy.
Noname: Oh yes. It's even worse now that Vegeta knows Goku is a Saiyan. Hey, what a great idea! That's funny! Goku-eo and ChiChi-et? Do you really think this will be something like Romeo and Juliet? Well, there's already a forbidden romance and some heavy drama unfolding…
Lady Kouga: Thank you.
Moon girl 16: Chi-Chi understands in a sense. She still doesn't know what a Saiyan is, their history, that Goku is one, or what a Saiyan ape is exactly. All she has is her love for Goku. Whee, pretty deep. LOL. Vegeta's not about to step out now. He wants his bride, and it's NOT just because of the wedding night.
Carrie2sky: Thanks! I wanted to make Goku emotional. I kinda like it. I also like this version of the Saiyan bond. Also, I didn't mind the whole biting-mate's-neck-to-have-her-blood deal. It was kinda creepy, but oh well. Actually, my original plan was for Chi-Chi to feel kinda distant from Goku and he would have to win her love, but I changed my mind. Hmm, I'll be sure to check out your fic.
Gogirl: Yeah. Chi-Chi still loves Goku after all this. But things have gotten worse now, as usual. Yay! Those are some of my favorite movies too. The plan for G/CC to be together now is even more complicated now. You're right. Running off isn't such a good idea, even if that does seem to be the evitable thing to do. Yay, update! ::goes to read fic::