Her Rising Saviour:
Chapter Sixteen – Support
Mornings began to have a new tradition. Wake up...Syaoran kiss Sakura's growing stomach, saying his good-morning to the baby – their baby boy...and then before they had their shared shower, they would stare at the ultrasound photo of the baby and grin like there was no tomorrow. Once, Sakura even picked it up and pressed her lips to it, whispering a good-morning herself.
It was now nearly a week after Rika's baby had been born. Rika had been released from the hospital only a day after Hayate had been born, and Sakura and Syaoran had made sure to stop by the house and visit nearly everyday.
The baby was quiet, much to Rika's relief, and often slept, even through the night surprisingly. But when he was awake...Sakura swore there was nothing cuter. He had the brightest set of eyes, full of joy and innocence. And his soft cheeks were always rosy. Yoshiyuki had been working less hours, wanting to spend the time with Rika and his son – yes, he saw the child as his. He was determined to raise it as so, as he loved it like his own. Syaoran had even helped Yoshiyuki move Rika into the Terada household. Chiharu, whom was over as often as the Li couple, had even brought Yamazaki over once, though Yamazaki had obviously not felt comfortable around the child. The way he held was completely awkward.
This day, however, when Sakura woke up, she wore the smallest of grimaces. An opposite to the usual happy smile she wore these days. She turned off the alarm, but didn't try and move to wake Syaoran. She simply laid there.
Today was the day she had promised to speak to Eriol. She had never gone into detail about the night with Natsuo Hamada, not even with Tomoyo and Syaoran. They both knew that she had been forced upon, and that was it. No one knew the full details. She was actually scared.
As if hearing her thoughts, she felt the arm wrapped around her waist give her a squeeze of comfort as a pair of soft lips descended on her shoulder.
"It'll be okay," Syaoran whispered tiredly against her skin. "I'll be there the whole time, Sakura."
Sakura let out a shaky breath and rolled onto her back. Syaoran immediately propped himself up onto his elbow, leaning slightly over Sakura. Sakura frowned and reached up to trace the dark purple circles under his eyes, showing his lack of sleep.
"I'm fine," he reassured her with a shrug.
"You didn't sleep," Sakura stated disapprovingly.
Syaoran sighed, his breath wavering. "No, I...I was too worried about how you were holding up."
Sakura forced a small smile, guilt flooding through her. She didn't want him to be worried, at least not that much. She didn't want him losing sleep on her account. But she knew that whatever she'd say, he would counter it. So instead, she pushed herself up and kissed him softly and sweetly. When she pulled away, laying back down, both were smiling. Not happily, but contentedly, as if reassuring one another.
And so the usual morning ritual began. Syaoran gently pulled back the blankets, then pushed up Sakura's night-wear – like usual, she was wearing one of his shirts that were much too big for her. Then he pressed his lips to her stomach; being five months along, give or take a few days, her bulge was definitely not just a little noticeable. The only way it wasn't was if she wore a baggy, flowy shirt.
"Good morning, son," Syaoran whispered against her skin, his eyes closed. "Give your mom some support today, 'kay? She's going to need it. Take care of her, like I know you will."
Sakura watched him with pure love shining in her eyes. She reached down and began running her fingers through his unruly morning hair, her fingernails gently scraping his scalp. Syaoran laid his head on her stomach, his eyes still closed. He began running his fingers along her side, then turned his head slightly and kissed her again. "I love you, Sakura. Please, if you don't want to do this..."
"I don't want to do this," she cut him off. "But I have to, Syaoran. It's something I just have to do."
He sighed, his eyebrows furrowed. Though he agreed, he was worried about her nonetheless. His eyes opened to move onto their next ritual; staring at the only photo they had of their baby for a few minutes. Through this, they kept up with their ministrations with one another; Syaoran running his fingers along her side, and Sakura running her fingers through his hair.
They hurried through their shower in silence, neither making a move on the other like usual mornings. Usually, Sakura would help Syaoran take care of his usual morning 'problem', and if they had time, he'd return the favour. Once in a while, it would turn into full-blown sex. This morning, however, was different. And apparently, the stress and worry flowing through Syaoran had stopped his morning wood from staying at all.
Syaoran held her hand all through the car ride, the ride up the elevator, and walking to Eriol's office. Once at his office, he felt her tense beside him. He knew the feeling; he was on pins and needles, but tried to keep it hidden from Sakura. He squeezed her hand, trying to let her know 'I'm here...Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere.' and knocked on Eriol's door.
The door quickly opened, revealing a nervous looking Eriol. Obviously, he knew how large of a step this was for Sakura. He offered a weak smile and opened the door wide enough for them. He pulled the two chairs in front of his desk away from the desk, then offered the seats to them. Syaoran sat Sakura, then pushed his chair so it was right beside hers, the arms touching. As he took his seat, Eriol wheeled his chair from behind the desk and sat in front of them. Each man took a hand of Sakura's, trying to offer silent support.
"Sakura," Eriol said softly, soothingly, "I understand that this is going to be difficult for you. Difficult is probably an understatement, and if at any time you feel uncomfortable or stressed..."
"I'll be fine," she cut him off.
He gave another weak smile, "I just need you to tell me, tell us, if things become too much, okay?"
She let out a long sigh, then nodded. Eriol gave her hand a quick squeeze of support, then leaned over to his desk and pressed play of a small black recorder. He took a deep breath and quickly recorded the date, then added, "Mrs. Sakura Li, born Sakura Kinomoto."
Sakura looked at her lap, her eyes straying to Syaoran and her interlaced hand. His thumb was moving soothingly over her knuckles. She could already feel her breath quivering, "Where do you want me to start?"
"Anywhere you'd like," Eriol spoke softly. When Sakura didn't continue, he suggested, "How about how you and Mr. Hamada met?"
"It was about six months after my...my boyfriend moved away, four months after I started collage. I kept to myself, and he approached me, offering to take me out for coffee," Sakura explained, her jaw already tense. She didn't expect it to be so hard, and as soon as she mentioned Syaoran moving away, she felt a squeeze of her hand from him.
"And did you take up the offer?" Eriol asked. Though he knew these parts, he needed her to speak them and for it all to be documented.
"Not at first," Sakura carefully searched through the memories she had desperately tried to forget. "My friend found me speaking to him and pulled me away. She warned me that Natsuo was, in her words, a 'man-whore'. But when he asked again the next day...I took up the offer."
"And I suspect your friend wasn't too happy?" Eriol asked, watching her carefully.
"No, not at all, everyday she'd tell me to stay away from him," Sakura sighed, wishing she had listened to Tomoyo.
"And then what happened?" He urged on.
Sakura tensed, her hand tightening around Syaoran's into a white skinned, tight grasp. He didn't complain though. In fact, he gripped her hand back. He leaned over and pressed his lips softly to her temple, pulling back only enough to whisper soothingly to her, "It's alright Sakura...you'd doing great. If you have to, you can stop."
"I-I'll be fine," she stammered. She closed her eyes and took a long breath through her nose, then let it out through her mouth. After a few more cycles of this, she opened her eyes and continued cautiously. "Natsuo and I were dating for six months. It was our six month anniversary. He said he wanted to cook something special for me, so I went to his apartment. I had been to his place before without anything happening.
"After dinner, he suggested watching a movie," Sakura continued, feeling her voice waver. She took a second to breathe again and continued once more. "We curled up in his bed to watch the movie. Not long into the movie, he...h-he...h..."
Sakura didn't even realize the tears were silently rolling down her cheeks until she felt Syaoran's lips brushed against her cheeks, gently wiping away the wet trails leading down from her eyes. She slammed her eyes shut, trying to stop the tears, but that only caused memories to erupt and flash before her.
"Get off me!"... "Six fucking months"... "Just what men want" ... "To fuck you. To screw you. But never love you"... "Just open up like a good little girl..." ... "Natsuo, get off me!"... "B...But you l-l-love me..."
She whimpered, ripping her hand away from Syaoran and pressing her fists to the side of her head, her body shaking. God, it wasn't supposed to hurt this way! This took place ages ago, so why did it still hurt so badly? Why couldn't she just say what had happened? Fuck!
The next thing she knew, she was in Syaoran's lap. He had his arms wrapped tightly around her, gently rocking her back and forth. He had her head tucked beneath his, his fingers drawing soothing lines across her side and his lips were pressed to the crown of her head.
"Shhh," he soothed, "calm down, Sakura. Everything is alright...everything is fine. Stay with me, sweetheart. You're here...in my arms...no where else, understand? Calm down, it's all alright. You're safe, sweetheart, you're safe..."
Sakura slowly lowered her fists from her head and wrapped them around Syaoran instead. She turned her head and buried her face into his neck, biting her lip as her sobs turned into sniffles. Syaoran continued to soothe her with soothing words and touches.
After a moment, Eriol spoke up quietly, "Should we stop here for today?"
Syaoran was about to answer 'yes', but Sakura held him tighter and shook her head. Her voice was muffled from her face being buried, but both men heard her nonetheless, "N-No, I have to get th-through this."
She took a few calming breaths, then turned her face to face Eriol. She tried to move off of Syaoran's lap, but he tightened his grip on her. She sighed and eased back into him, grateful that he had stopped her. Something told her that she'd need him still, and the nearness was comforting. His fingers continued to run up and down along her side, his lips peppering the odd kiss into her hair.
"I-I'm sorry," she said shakily.
"Don't apologize," Eriol dismissed. "Continue when you can. Don't stress over it."
Sakura nodded. After one last calming breath, she continued, "Not long into the movie, he...he rolled on top of me, pinning me to the bed. He told me that he had every right to do anything he wished with me, since we had been together for six months. He told me that he didn't love me, and that no guy ever could. That I was only good for fucking, for screwing and for pleasuring. That the only...only reason I-I existed was for the male species to lust for me..."
She was having troubles keeping the tears at bay. They were in her eyes, blurring her vision. She closed her eyes, pushing them and the memories and visions back. Syaoran held her tighter, cooing to her softly as he continued his soothing caresses and ministrations.
"Is there anything else?" Eriol asked quietly.
Sakura shook her head vigourously, "N-No, h-h-he had his w-way with me after th-that."
"Okay," he whispered with a small nod. He turned to his tape recorder and said softly, "End session SL, recording one," then turned it off. He slipped off his seat and knelt in front of Sakura, reaching for her hands. He gave them a gentle squeeze and laid a gentle kiss on the back of both of them.
"I'm sorry," he apologized, "I'm so sorry...I know it hurts. But thank you so much for being so strong, Sakura. It means a lot to me...to all of us. And I'm sure it'll help you in the long run."
Sakura inhaled a shaky breath and nodded. She then buried her head into Syaoran's neck again, wrapped her arms around Syaoran again and held on tightly to pull herself closer to him, then cried again.
Syaoran pulled her in tighter, holding her for everything that was worth. He found himself swallowing the ball of tears building inside his throat. For the past almost two years, he had known that the bastard had raped her and had told her how worthless she was, but he hadn't expected it to be that bad. How she had told it, seeing how painful it still was to her...it was like he could see everything happening before his own eyes. It hurt him – as if tearing his heart and soul in two – to see her hurt so much.
Syaoran looked up to Eriol, their pained eyes matching, "If Nakamura asks...I've taken the day off. I'm bringing Sakura home."
"Sy – " She began to protest.
"No," he stopped her softly, "I don't have any appointments scheduled, anyway. We're going home, and you're not going to argue." He looked back to Eriol, "I'll see you tomorrow."
Eriol nodded, his eyes sadly glued onto Sakura, "Yeah, thanks."
Syaoran gave one slight nod, then tightened his hold on Sakura and stood. He gently set her on her feet and wrapped his arm around her waist, supporting her weight. He kissed the top of her head gently, then held her as close as possible and trudged out of the office.
b.K.d
Once at home, Syaoran sat a sniffling Sakura on the bed. He began looking around for comfort clothes, and quickly found a pair of worn-in track pants and one of his university sweaters. He grabbed her slippers and a clean towel from the hallway closet, then began a hot bath for Sakura. As the water ran, steaming up the bathroom, he rifled through the cupboard and came across 'soothing bath salts: to calm your soul'. He poured some into the water and immediately he was struck with the soothing scent of lavender and vanilla.
When the tub was full and he could turn it off, he went back to the bedroom. Sakura was laying on her side, her eyes staring at the photo of their baby. He smiled sadly, then went to her and scooped her up in his arms. In the bathroom, he helped her undress, then lifted her into the bath. He knelt down beside the tub and began running the back of his fingers along the contours of her face.
"Are you alright?" He asked softly, his voice and eyes laced with concern.
She turned to him, and his heart broke. Though she was no longer crying, her eyes were puffy and strained from the tears. Her face was blotched with red and dried trails of tears stained her cheeks.
"I'm fine," she whispered hoarsely.
He continued to soothe her, the softest of smiles playing across his face, "I'm very proud of you, sweetheart. That took a lot of courage, but you did it. I am so, so, proud."
She frowned slightly, "I didn't do much, though. It's silly to be proud of that."
"Don't be ridicu – "
"No," she cut him off, looking away. "Syaoran, this was years ago. I should be able to speak about it. And yet, it still hurt – stung – like he had only done it hours before." She lowered her voice, her bangs sweeping in front of her eyes, "I...I hate feeling so weak."
"Sakura," Syaoran said sternly. He took her face into his hands and forced her to look at him, "You are not weak. If you were weak, you never would have overcome your fears of speaking about that bastard. You would have kept it all locked away. For the first time in years, you told people what happened that night. That, my dear, takes a lot of courage and strength. You," he looked at her sternly, his eyes blazing, "are far from weak."
When he leaned in to brush his lips to her forehead, Sakura felt a small smile tug at her lips. He pulled away, his thumb brushing the contour below her eye. She gave a soft, genuine smile, and whispered, "Thank you."
"There's no need," he told her softly. He kissed her forehead once more, then stood. "I'm going to go make you some camomile tea. It'll help you relax and hopefully take a nap. You definitely need one. You look worn out, and the tea doesn't have any caffeine."
He turned to leave, but a wet hand grabbed his wrist to stop him. He turned back to see Sakura pleading with him using her eyes.
"Join me?" She asked simply, softly.
The look of a torn expression spread across his face, "I'm not sure...that tea would really help you, Sakura."
"I only want you," she whispered, begging. "Please, I only need you."
He held her gaze for a moment longer, really wanting her to have some of the tea. He knew how much she liked it and how much it'd help her rest. But the look in her eyes...He couldn't deny her. So he sighed softly and nodded, giving in. He removed his clothes and tossed them into the wicker hamper in the corner. Sakura scooted over to make room for him in the large tub.
Syaoran slid into the water and laid back against the back of it as Sakura nestled between his legs, pressing her back to his chest. He sighed and closed his eyes in comfort, resting his chin onto Sakura's shoulder as the comforting scents of lavender and vanilla flowed through him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and interlaced their fingers together.
"Syaoran?" Sakura whispered, breaking the calming silence.
"Hm?" He answered, not moving his head.
"I..." she strained, and immediately Syaoran stiffened. His eyes opened and he turned his head slightly to look at her face. She was looking down at the water, to their fingers. She bit her lower lip, obviously nervous. "Syaoran, I...I want to speak to my father and Toya, about Natsuo and...and what happened afterwards."
Syaoran felt himself stiffen. He knew that would be even more painful for her than when she had spoken to Eriol. Simply because she had always said she knew, or at least as though, they'd be disappointed in her and hate her. He knew if she did speak to them, it'd be a huge step for her. And that it'd hurt her more than today.
"Are you sure?" He asked cautiously.
"Yes," she nodded, though she seemed uncertain. "I...They have to know. I know that they'll be angry, especially Toya, but Syaoran," she turned to face him, her eyes pleading with him to understand, "I need their support through this. Eriol has my testimony, but I still need to get up there as a witness. And...And I want my family's support as I do it."
Syaoran gave her an encouraging smile and leaned over to press his lips to hers softly. "I understand, sweetheart."
Weak my ass, he scoffed mentally.
b.K.d
That evening, Sakura called her brother and father and asked for them to come visit. They both were worried by the sudden call, but both agreed and decided to come the following evening.
So now, Sakura's shaking hands were working on cutting up carrots for dinner. Syaoran was frying the chicken, but watching her closely, watching her distress. She was cutting her third carrot when she let out a yelp and dropped the knife. Syaoran dropped what he was doing and jumped over to her, grabbing the hand she had up to her mouth, the hurt finger between her fingers. He looked to see that she had cut herself, though only slightly, at the tip of her finger. He sighed and brought the finger to his lips, gently kissing it.
"Please be careful," he asked her softly. He reached over for a papertowel and pressed it to her cut, the blood quickly seeping through the white disposable cloth. He looked up at her with worried eyes, "Let me take care of dinner. You're a bundle of nerves right now. Please just go sit and rest."
She shook her head, "I need to be doing something."
"You're not being safe though," he scolded softly. When she didn't seem to want to back down, he sighed angrily and placed his hands onto her hips. With one swift movement, he lifted her onto the counter and gently squeezed her hips, silently asking her to stay put. He met her gaze with his own pleading eyes, "Please, for me? I'm worried about you. Just stay here and I'll finish dinner."
With a soft sigh, Sakura nodded in agreement and allowed Syaoran to finish making dinner.
Half an hour later, dinner was being placed into the oven as a knock on the door alerted them to their guests arrival. Sakura tensed a she heard the knock and it took everything Syaoran had to not try and convince her to back down and not tell them anything. Instead, he helped her down from the counter and held her hand as they went to the door.
Toya came storming in, the look of confusion and little-patience in his eyes. He immediately went to his sister and crossed his arms sternly in front of him, his harsh gaze set on her. Beside her, Syaoran stiffened and glared at him as Sakura shift uncomfortably. Asshole! Syaoran thought angrily, feeling how
"Okay, spill," Toya growled to his baby sister. "There is no reason why you'd just suddenly call us both out, and want to see us so soon. So spill...what's going on? Did the bastard here hurt you? If so," he smirked smugly, "you're more than welcome to come home. My apartment has an extra room you can stay in – "
"I didn't do anything, Kinomoto," Syaoran growled.
Toya's head snapped toward Syaoran, his eyes narrowing murderously, "Look, boy, just because we are siblings by law now...that doesn't mean I would kill you any less. If anything, I'll make sure it's bloodier now. So shut the hell up. I want to hear that from Sakura, not you."
Syaoran's hand tightened on Sakura as he opened his mouth to retaliate, but Fujitaka stepped in between his son and son-in-law, stopping that from happening.
"Calm down, Toya," he ordered softly. "You can't just barge in here and demand answers like that." Toya grunted, but didn't argue and looked away angrily, mumbling under his breath. Fujitaka sighed and turned to Syaoran with a small smile, "I apologize for his rash behaviour. He's honestly just worried for Sakura."
"Understandable," Syaoran reassured him, truly understanding where the brother was coming from. However, no matter how much he understood, the guy still irritated Syaoran to no end. He gripped Sakura's hand and forced a smile to her father, "Please, come in and take a seat. I think Sakura wants to speak to you two before dinner. It's in the oven as we speak."
Syaoran led the Kinomoto men to the living room, silently asking them to take a seat on the sofa. They sat, and Syaoran felt Sakura shift from foot to foot uncomfortably. He led her to the chair off to the side of the sofa and gently sat her down, then took a seat on the arm of the chair. She immediately leaned into him, and he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, gently rubbing circles up and down her arm.
Sakura took a deep breath, then opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She quickly shut her mouth and looked down nervously, fidgeting with her fingers.
"Deep breaths, Sakura," Syaoran leaned in and whispered to her. "Start when you're ready. We have all night, sweetheart."
She nodded against him, feeling the piercing gaze of her brother and the confused gaze of her father on her, making her more nervous. Finally, after a fair amount of time passed, Fujitaka cleared his throat.
"Sakura, pumpkin," he began softly, worry laced through his voice. "Is something wrong? Are you in trouble?"
Sakura let out a shaky breath and shook her head, "No...not anymore..."
"When you're ready," Syaoran repeated softly, kissing the top of her head.
After another few minutes, she inhaled through her nose and exhaled through her mouth; her calming ritual. "Toya, Dad...I...I have something to confess...B-But I'm scared."
"Scared?" Fujitaka frowned, wanting to go over and hug his daughter, comfort her. But something told him to stay put, that it'd only make it worse. "Scared of what?"
"That you'll hate me," she whispered softly, almost too softly for her family to hear.
"We could never hate you, Sakura," Fujitaka reassured her.
"I'm not too sure," she let out a shaky, nervous chuckle.
"Sakura, please look at me," Fujitaka pled. When her green eyes looked up at him, he could see the pure stress straining in them. The sight broke his heart. He looked deep into her eyes, making sure she understood completely, "I am your father, Sakura. And Toya is your brother. No matter what has happened...we'll never love you less. And we could most certainly never hate you."
Sakura nodded, tears brimming her eyes. She looked back down, feeling Syaoran's lips in her hair again. With one last calming breath-ritual, she began her story. "When I went to collage, a lot of things happened, and I met a man named Natsuo Hamada..."
It took nearly an hour for her to explain the whole story, from start to finish. She began, ashamed, with telling them how she shut down when Syaoran left and how she thought Syaoran simply didn't love her which caused her to go into a shell. How she spent the first four months at collage in isolation. How she had met Natsuo Hamada and he somehow reminded her of Syaoran. How he told her he loved her. How he forced himself on her and the lies he fed her.
And that had been the easiest part. Even though she hadn't been able to look up from her lap to her father the whole time, even though she had tears silently rolling down her cheeks, it was the easier part to tell her family. The second half of the story took her the majority of the hour, as she had had to stop many times to recompose herself.
With each break-down she had, Syaoran would hold her tighter and closer. He would whisper soothing words into her ear, reassuring her that she could take her time. He would rub small circles along her arm, hip or side and pepper kisses on the crown of her head. He was there for her, even when he could feel the heated, hated glare of Toya. And every time Toya would begin yelling, either interrupting the story to scream at Syaoran or interrupt Sakura's recomposing silence, Syaoran would yell back at him to sit the hell down and shut up.
She continued to tell them the harder part of the story. She told them how she took Natsuo's words to heart and got a job at a strip club. How Tomoyo tried to convince her to change and go back to school, but she couldn't. How Tomoyo and Eriol tried to get her to bring Natsuo to justice, but saw no reason to. And finally...how Syaoran had found her and saved her.
She finished, sobbing and choking on her words as Toya jumped up, begin to scream at Syaoran again, "D-D-Don't be ma-mad at Sy-Syaoran. He...He r-really did s-s-s-save me..."
"And he put you in the fucking position in the first place!" Toya yelled, finally able to let his rage blow. His face was purple with rage. "If he hadn't fucking well left you – "
"No, Toya," Sakura's red, puffy eyes shot up to her brother, fire growing in her vibrant green eyes. "If I hadn't taken it so badly and let myself fall for the first guy who told me he loved me, even with my friends warnings. I didn't ask you to come here to blame Syaoran, because none of this is his fault." She paused and turned to Syaoran's sorrowful, regretful eyes and forced a smile. She kissed his jaw and whispered, "It's not your fault."
Syaoran sighed loudly and leaned down, letting his forehead rest against hers.
Sakura closed her eyes, enjoying his closeness. "Toya...I didn't call you here to beat up Syaoran, or to blame Syaoran, or to let you hatred for my husband grow. I called you...and Dad...here today, to...to relieve myself of this guilt I feel. I need your support. Please...please lend my your support."
Sakura didn't even hear Toya get off the sofa, but he did, and he took a seat on the other armrest of her chair. He reached for her hand and waited until Sakura turned to him before he spoke. His eyes were no longer angry, but instead filled with sorrow and confusion and pain for her. His voice came out strained, barely a whisper, "How? How do I support you?"
"My friend, Rika Sasaki, was also tricked my Natsuo," Sakura told him softly. "But he has no record of abuse or...or rape. I'm going to be used as a witness to his violent behaviour. I...I want you and Dad to support me, be there for me."
Sakura had never seen her big brother cry before. So you can imagine her shock when his eyes began to cloud over with water and the tears began to roll down his cheeks. He closed his eyes tightly, clenching his jaw. Sakura gently pulled away from Syaoran slightly and reached a hand up to cradle her brother's face in her hands, using her thumbs to wipe away his tears. She leaned up and kissed his forehead gently. Her eyes were stung too much from the amount of tears she had cried for her to shed anymore tears at the moment.
"Please don't cry, Toya," she pled. "I'm fine now, really."
"The fact that something like this even happened to you to begin with," he choked. "God, Sakura, I never knew...I never..."
"I know," she kissed his forehead again. "But Syaoran saved me, Toya. I'm fine now."
"I couldn't even protect you," he sobbed. "I'm a pathetic excuse of a brother."
"That's enough," she scolded angrily. "Don't say that. You can't protect me all the time. I have to take care of myself. Unfortunately, I was a stupid girl and fell for his lies."
He continued to sob as he let her hold his face in her small hands. Behind her, Syaoran was watching them with a small, sad smile as he gently rubbed Sakura's back soothingly. He knew exactly how Toya felt – as if he could have prevented this, could have protected her, and failed.
After getting his sobs out, he turned his head and kissed one of her palms. He opened his eyes and looked to Syaoran. Though, for once, it wasn't a glare. Instead, it was the look of a broken man. It actually scared Syaoran. Syaoran was never afraid of the man's glare...but this look, this broken, guilty look, definitely scared him. It was so...vulnerable.
"I hate you," Toya growled. And before Sakura could scold him, his lips twitched into a grateful smile. "But...thank you."
Syaoran let his lips lift into a small smile, "I love her. That's the only answer I can give you."
"I..." Toya sighed angrily, his jaw tensing again. "Yes, I see that."
"Daddy?"
All three pairs of eyes turned to the sofa to Fujitaka Kinomoto. His head was in his hands, his elbow on his thigh. His body was shaking with silent sobs, breaking everyone's heart. Sakura gently pulled away from the men on either side of her and went to her father, taking a seat beside him. She reached a hand toward him, but stopped and pulled it away. She made tight fists on her lap and looked down nervously.
"I'm sorry I've disappointed you, Dad," she whispered. "And please don't hate me. I...I just, really wanted you to know..."
She was engulfed in his arms for a tight embrace. He began to cry on her shoulder as he stroked her hair, holding her close. Shocked, Sakura hesitantly wrapped her arms around him and patted his backs soothingly.
"Sakura," he cried softly, "I could never ever hate you. And disappointed? No...the only thing close to that is my regret that you felt as though you couldn't come to me for help. That you couldn't turn to me when he violated you like that."
"I...I didn't want to...disappoint you..." she explained, shocked by his words.
He pulled away, "Sakura, you'll always be my little girl. And I'll always want to protect you. The fact that I couldn't..." he shook his head and sighed. "I will admit, I am angry at myself that I couldn't protect you, but it's the past and I can't change the past. The important thing is the here and now. The important thing is that you are now safe, even though I would do anything – give my life – to take away all those years of pain."
"So you'll come to the hearing?" Sakura asked in a timid voice.
He gave her a soft, comforting smile, then leaned in and pressed his lips to her forehead in a fatherly-kiss. "Of course I'll be there. I wouldn't be a good father if I said I wouldn't be there to support you in such a tough time."
Sakura swallowed her tears; her eyes still stung and she didn't want to risk crying again and hurting her eyes more. "Thank you."
Toya and Syaoran got up from their seats and joined the father and daughter on the couch. Syaoran gently lifted Sakura and sat, then let her sit in his lap so he could hold her. Toya sat on one side, holding one hand while he rested his head on her shoulder while Fujitaka sat on the other and held her other hand, gently caressing it.
The dinner was forgotten in the oven, though no one was in the mood to eat anyway.
They simply sat there for the next hour in silence, all trying to push away the horrible image of Sakura hurt over the years and trying to bring forth the glorious images of her happy, here and now.
It was in that next hour that the small miracle took place. Sakura was nearly asleep, her head on Syaoran's chest, when she felt the small movement. She stiffened, holding her breath as her heartbeat accelerated. Then, she felt it again. She jolted up, sitting up properly, alerting and panicking the three men. She didn't seem to care though, her eyes glued to her stomach. She waited...and waited...and then it was there again. She jumped up to stand in front of Syaoran, her hands on her stomach, her eyes wide and amazed.
"Sakura?" Syaoran asked, worried. "Sakura, baby, what's wrong?"
She grabbed his hand, pulling him forward into a slightly uncomfortable position, and placed his palm on her stomach. Syaoran frowned in confusion, about to ask her what was wrong again, when he felt it. The slight movement. His eyes widened, his gaze shooting down to her stomach. He literally shot up from the couch and placed both of his hands on her stomach, a slow grin coming across his face.
The baby had kicked.
It was as if the baby had listened to Syaoran's words the previous morning – "Give your mom some support today, 'kay? She's going to need it. Take care of her, like I know you will." As if he had listened, he kicked, giving the soon-to-be parents joy and comfort.
It was almost as if he were saying "I'm here."
Author's Note: Quick apology to Shadow-chan...sorry sweetie, I was dying to get this up and I don't know if I'll be able to get on this weekend.
DOUBLE THE LENGTH CHAPTER!!! WHOO!
Okay...quick note to everyone!!! PLEASE READ!! --- 'Tomoyo'-chan has posted a new story and it's FREAKIN AWESOME! Please look up the author 'YamiNoTomoyo' and check out her new story "The Most Succulent Apple"...it's Eriol/Tomoyo, but my GOD...it's freakin bloody amazing. And I promise amazing things to come! It's...gonna...be...AWESOME! PLEEEEEEASE go check it out and remember to review :D
THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED!!!! You guys are amazing!! Thanks so much!!
Lastly, I've created a LiveJournal and I've posted the link on my profile. Whether you have LJ or not, please check it out. I have some ideas posted on there...along with the co-authored ones I'm working on; one with YamiNoTomoyo and the other with swallowingtears. Also, check out the poll on my profile...it's an idea I'm musing over...
Please leave a review :) Pweeeze?
xox, Riva
Next Chappie...! I think we need some fluff and some lighter stuff...So how about time to prepare for the baby?