Of Two Hearts
Chapter 17: To Love A Stranger
The bone-chilling February breeze was the first thing to greet Goku when he woke up the next morning. He was shivering when his eyes opened, and grimaced at the bright sunlight. His stiff muscles ached as he rolled away from the sunlight.
He wished these blankets were thicker. He wished he were warm fast. He knew one thing that warmed him up fast…
With a light blush decorating his cheeks, Goku remembered the tender moments he laid down next to Chi-Chi as she slept by a campfire. He had never thought he would like sleeping next to a warm body.
He had only slept with his grandfather as a kid, but sleeping next to him didn't make him feel…satisfied and complete like it did when he was with Chi-Chi.
Just remembering lying down next to Chi-Chi made a wistful sigh leave his lips. He really would like her company right about now.
Instead, he got another cold draft as the door to the apothecary's room opened.
"Are you awake, Goku?" the apothecary, Tokoro, asked. He walked into the room with a wooden tray in his hands. "I have the morning meal and your medicine. Do you need your bandages changed?"
Goku sat up and groaned softly. He wasn't very happy this morning. "Thank you," he told Tokoro as the older man placed it on the stand next to the bed.
Goku washed up in the nearby basin, and then began to eat his breakfast. He couldn't concentrate as Tokoro made small talk with him and changed his bandages after he was done eating.
So many things reminded Goku of Chi-Chi, and his mind would wander far away…
This was the very same room where Chi-Chi had visited Goku so many times. It was here where Goku's feelings for her were confirmed. Here, he was cared for by Chi-Chi, yet her care seemed somewhat better than the care of the professional apothecary.
It was here that he wanted to give Chi-Chi her first kiss for the very first time.
Goku sighed subconsciously, forgetting Tokoro was still in the room.
"What ails you?" Tokoro asked, curious. Goku shook his head. "Nothing. I'm fine." What could he say?
He couldn't let on about his feelings for Chi-Chi and the fact her father wanted to kill him...
"All right," Tokoro said, and stood up to put the medicines away. "If it is anything else, let me know. I'm going to take your dishes back to the Dining Hall."
Goku nodded, and crawled across his bed to the wall. On his knees, he lifted himself up to the window where the sun had shone so brightly. He moved the wooden shutters apart and welcomed the sunlight and breeze.
If he was going to stay in this room until he got better, and since he couldn't walk, he might as well enjoy what nature has given him.
There was something else Goku wanted to enjoy more, though…
Goku lay back down, and placed his hands behind his head as he thought. He hadn't slept very much last night because he had been thinking about himself and Chi-Chi. What was still keeping them desiring each other?
Goku remembered an old saying: you want what you can't have, and Goku knew Chi-Chi was beyond his boundaries.
Still, though, it seemed that wasn't enough. There were so many obstacles in the way of having Chi-Chi. At first, Goku thought it was his own feelings. How can he have Chi-Chi if he did not know how he felt about her?
Well, that wasn't an issue now. Goku believed he was in love with her, if not, then very close to it.
Love may and may not conquer all. Right now, the obstacles were conquering all. Besides the Ox-King's words, there were other things that kept them apart.
Chi-Chi being royalty, the rules of royalty, the upbringing of the Saiyan ape, sickness, hatred, death…
Were the gods trying to say something? Maybe Goku wasn't meant to be with Chi-Chi?
"No," Goku whispered, turning over fiercely, clutching the blanket to his chest. He would not allow himself to think that! It was promised that they would be together, and the promise was going to be extremely hard to keep, but it could be done…
Even beyond the promise, Goku knew he shared a Saiyan bond with Chi-Chi. There, it was destined too. It was destiny that Chi-Chi should be the mate of this Saiyan.
Unfortunately, the bond had been broken so many times, and the consequences had been fatal.
Goku faintly sensed Chi-Chi through his Saiyan bond. This wasn't good. It was stronger than a weak vibration yesterday. Yesterday, Goku could feel strong emotions pulsing through his mind.
Chi-Chi had been doing something yesterday that caused the bond to be strengthened. Today… nothing.
But why? Goku wondered. What happened to us?
There would have been tension in the air as Chi-Chi ate breakfast with the Ox-King. Last night and the Ox-King's words were ingredients for a rebellious attitude accompanied by a stubborn grudge. But this morning, Chi-Chi was strangely calm.
This worried the Ox-King. Was she planning something?
He glanced at her occasionally as he ate. Chi-Chi didn't make eye contact with him once, and continued to eat as if he wasn't there.
It just wasn't right...
The Ox-King had the urge to ask Chi-Chi what was the matter, but he feared a witty retort. He sighed deeply, causing Chi-Chi to glance up at him, but their eyes did not meet once again.
Chi-Chi wrinkled her nose in confusion. It was funny how her mere presence frustrated the Ox-King.
He seems tense this morning, Chi-Chi noted to herself. If it's about last night, he doesn't have to worry. I've realized what he's said now. It's making sense…
Truth be told, Chi-Chi wasn't engaging in a battle with the Ox-King, as he had expected. She had no will to fight, and would not fight for the sake of her love for Son Goku. Or… was it because there was no love?
Chi-Chi stood up from the table, and took her dishes to the basin to be washed. She retreated to her bedchamber, and to the balcony in the back.
She sat and looked at a small trunk that was left out here. Inside it was her sketch of Goku. She studied the sketch carefully and felt confused at once.
Why did she draw a picture of this man? What did he mean to her? Did he mean anything to her at all?
Yesterday, he did. Just last night, Chi-Chi remembered speaking about and for him. She remembered speaking with him and caring for him yesterday, dressing his wounds and promising comfort and hospitality.
But why?
Chi-Chi studied the sketch closely. All she knew was that his name was Son Goku, and she was confusing her thoughts as to if she loved him or not. She could have sworn she did, but this persistent thought of loving Goku was reminding her of someone other than Vegeta.
Chi-Chi smiled subtly, thinking to herself. Even if I'm not completely sure who this is, I must admit he is better looking than my fiancé…
Another side of her seemed to disagree with that thought. Even if Goku was, in the slightest, Chi-Chi's preference, she still had no right to want him like that. She was Vegeta's. Even if he ran off and probably would never come back, Chi-Chi was still his.
He may have left, but he left her with his Saiyan bond.
Even if she wanted to love Goku, Vegeta's Saiyan bond would internally chide her.
Attempting to mate with another person, especially another Saiyan, would trigger the facts installed in Chi-Chi, and bring out shame.
You are Vegeta's bride.
You belong with no one else.
Life must be lived only with Vegeta as a husband.
These were the facts. Yet…
Denial is absurd.
It's Goku you have feelings for too, isn't it?
Originally, you planned to be Goku's bride.
These were the facts also…
Chi-Chi sighed, hanging her head. The inner battle wouldn't stop until one was chosen. Only one could have this woman's heart. The longer she stalls, the more painful it gets. How is it that she is torn between two men? She can no longer rely on her feelings to help her get out of this one…
The hours had passed by in silence and pensiveness. The minutes went by with the wind, as Goku lay in the soft bed. He turned over and sighed. Being ill or wounded was never fun, and it was no exception for Goku.
He couldn't even rise from the bed without knowing pain was to come to him. Walking was an unsuccessful attempt to master. He just fell over like a baby. A baby learns how to walk with guidance and practice when he is ready.
But for Goku, he had no guidance because his tail was pulled out. He couldn't practice because it hurt.
Yet…
Goku sat up in his bed, realizing something. He remembered training with Kuririn at Roshi's island when he was a boy. Getting the powers and great martial arts he has now required a lot of Goku, pain being one of them.
Whenever he got an injury, Roshi would tell him not to whine. Exercising the injured area would make it heal faster. Men shouldn't cry over wounds, he always told Goku…
So, Goku stood to his feet. He wobbled slightly and took some steps forward. So far it did feel weird, but it was a start. Goku experimented walking around without his tail.
After a few moments, he collapsed back on his bed. He hoped his brain would remember that he had to be mobile without his tail from now on. He had to learn how to walk straight. Not only for his own benefit, but he knew he must prove to people that he was not a quitter.
He was a strong warrior who jumped to his feet after being knocked over. He had to keep this reputation, who he was. Goku had to still be the same man everyone knew him to be. He had to be the man Chi-Chi knew him to be.
Goku smiled at the thought of Chi-Chi. He was sure he could impress her if he recovered in less than four days. All he had to do was learn how to walk correctly. Recovering from the wounds of his battles with Piccolo and Vegeta wouldn't be much of a problem.
Besides, when he is free at last, he had plans to make the Ox-King see something. He wasn't a monster or a bad person. True, he loves his daughter and that upset the Ox-King, but he never planned to hurt her.
He wanted to take care of her. How could he make the Ox-King see that?
Goku knew that Chi-Chi was also fighting for their love. He had seen her in the battlefield so many times. He decided to see how she was.
"Chi-Chi?" he spoke in her mind.
A moment of silence. A few more moments… A minute passed. Silence.
Goku tried to contact her again, but it did not work. Goku was confused at this. He should be able to talk to her, and she should be able to hear him and respond back. Unless…
Unless there is no Saiyan bond, but that's impossible, Goku thought. I know we bonded, even if our bond had been broken quite a few times. It's still there. I don't understand how we can't communicate.
He thought hard about this. The Saiyan bond was established, but Vegeta had broken it many times. Vegeta had somehow messed with Chi-Chi's bond, and it was affecting her relationship with Goku.
She still loved Goku, but he died. The bond was broken again.
During this time, something happened… Something that made Chi-Chi's bond with Goku whither to just a feeling, and a thought in the back of her mind. The bond wasn't completely wiped out, because yesterday, she knew whom Goku was and had feelings for him.
Yet before, she was totally clueless as to whom Goku was. She didn't even know his name.
Why was this happening?
Goku growled as he clenched his fist, suddenly. There was an explanation for this. I thought something was wrong when Vegeta left suddenly without saying anything, he thought. He left happily, knowing he marked Chi-Chi.
That was the reason. Vegeta's Saiyan bond overwrote Goku's, and it was more effective through his methods. Goku's Saiyan bond with Chi-Chi was established through an emotional connection and the Saiyan senses were distributed from his tail.
Now that he had no tail, the bond was no longer strong. The emotional connection was overwritten by Vegeta, who made an even deeper connection by entering Chi-Chi's dreams and speaking to her.
Vegeta had approached this very carefully, but he also did something else.
Goku's heart skipped a beat as he realized something. The Saiyan bond could only have so many changes. Too many changes lead to a fatal result, which was exactly what happened to Goku. His bond with Chi-Chi had been messed with for so long that it destroyed him.
And he was a Saiyan. How much longer could a human last?
Goku had a problem.
He also had a solution.
He needed to establish a true, efficient bond with Chi-Chi before she suffers the same painful fate as he. But how could he do that when he was stuck in bed, wounded, with absolutely no connections to her?
Two days had passed since that problem had been confirmed. Goku had been working hard to recover quickly, so he could get to Chi-Chi as fast as he could. But he didn't know that Chi-Chi was already suffering from a few complications…
There was a soft knock at Chi-Chi's door that morning. That was a reprieving gesture, considering the punishment she was on. Someone was in a good mood today. Chi-Chi's faint voice gave permission of intrusion to the knocker.
Chi-Chi turned from sitting up in bed to see her father approaching her, a tray with her breakfast in his hands.
"Good morning. Mind if I sit down?" the Ox-King asked, gesturing toward her bed.
"No," Chi-Chi replied, taking the tray from him and scooting over on the bed. She waved away the steam from her hot breakfast foods and reached for the napkin to place in her lap.
"Thank you," she said quietly, and began to eat. Silence filled the room as Chi-Chi quietly ate, and the Ox-King stared away, thinking.
He interrupted the silence suddenly as he asked, cautiously, "How are you feeling, Chi-Chi?"
Chi-Chi looked up from eating rice, confused. Why would he ask that? "I'm fine," she replied, glancing at her father for a hint. But his face only appeared blank.
"Why?"
The Ox-King looked at her, still cautious. "Well, I was just wondering. Today is the day that you were supposed to marry Vegeta, and now that he isn't here, I was wondering how you felt."
Chi-Chi's face ran blank this time. "I never cared about him," she said simply. "I told you that."
"And," the Ox-King continued. "I know the way I spoke to you several nights ago. However, I don't regret it. I'm telling you this is for your well being. I will find you a husband, even if I must have all the princes from other lands be tested for your hand."
Please don't, Chi-Chi felt like objecting, but instead sighed. She looked up at the Ox-King, pleadingly. "I wish you would forget about that," she whispered, before averting the Ox-King's probably surprised gaze.
"We have been doing this the day I was born," she stated, and then feigned a smile. "Can you imagine that? Betrothed at less than three years of age? It gets restless, watching every suitor come and go, and preparing hard to appear perfect for presentations…"
"What are you hinting at, Chi-Chi?" the Ox-King said with a frown. He could see the thoughtfulness on Chi-Chi's face, and her memories dancing in her eyes. He wanted to find the underlying cause of what his daughter was thinking.
Chi-Chi looked up at him. "I'm saying I'm really tired of this. I'm tired of being twisted and bent to make this kingdom and this family look good. I'm really tired of not being able to make my own decisions, to be happy…"
The Ox-King groaned. "We have been through this a thousand times. You know your marriage is a very important step to unity and trade to other kingdoms. We will find you a good husband, Chi-Chi. I promised you that."
"Just like you promised me Goku?"
The Ox-King raised an eyebrow. "That's what this is… You still have not gotten over him. Do not reflect over lost love. Keep your chin up and look toward the future. It is not wise to pine over a dream."
He stood up and patted her head before leaving. Chi-Chi looked away the whole time, burning with anger deep inside.
No matter how she voiced her feelings, it didn't matter to the Ox-King. All he cared about was forming alliances with other kingdoms, making the Gyuu-Mao name sound good, her marriage to a worthy prince, and the child they would make together…
Where was Goku supposed to be in all of this?
Chi-Chi looked down at her breakfast, and then pushed it away. She leaned back into her pillow tiredly. She had been feeling exhausted lately... She closed her eyes slowly, trying to remember this Goku.
But the picture she painted of him in her head just seemed to fade away, just like Vegeta's. Everything just seemed to fade away…
Her thoughts went back to her exhaustion.
The source of this fatigue was unknown. Chi-Chi just felt it suddenly. Sometimes, she would feel strangely calm, and would dream frequently. Sometimes, the dreams made no sense. Some of them were just plain odd. Why would she dream of death?
Sometimes, she would imagine just laying where she was now, and she would look up at the ceiling, peacefully thinking. Only thinking for a few moments, and then her eyes would close slowly, and she would slip into the arms of serenity as she left this world…
The perpetual thoughts of an eternal sleep haunt this innocent mind, as love seems farther and farther away…
The moon was glowing in the dark sky when Goku got a visit for the first time in a long time from someone who wasn't the apothecary. He was expected to be the one to see Goku frequently, but this visit was mysterious.
There was a knock at the apothecary's door, as Goku lay down in his bed, ready for sleep. He had spent his day in a busy manner and was ready to catch up on rest as he was going to go to sleep for the night.
Goku rose in his bed and looked around the room suspiciously. Who would visit him at this hour? It appeared to be late. "Who goes there?" he called aloud.
"My lady's messenger girl, Talim," came a feminine, childish voice.
Talim?
Goku thought hard, as his eyebrows drew together in concentration. Talim… That name seemed familiar. Goku snapped his fingers as he discovered the answer. A smile came on his face.
It was that cute, little girl that always hung out with Chi-Chi. Goku only recognized her because she was Wakaru's little sister.
"Come in," he told Talim, and he heard the door swing open. The child's shadow appeared in the pathway of moonlight from the outside. Talim closed the door behind her and walked toward Goku, attempting to embrace herself with one arm, as she held a bright paper lantern that would guide her with the other.
"It's so cold and scary in here," she said, her teeth chattering as her nervous eyes looked around. "Aren't you cold or afraid?"
Goku shook his head and then looked at her curiously. "What are you even doing here? It's late."
Talim's face changed expressions at his question. She set down the paper lantern on the wooden stand, and reached for a scroll protruding from a goatskin pouch at her waist. She took it out and handed it to Goku.
"It's from His Majesty."
Goku frowned as he accepted the scroll. What could the Ox-King possibly want now? He untied the ribbon around the scroll and opened it.
Boy,
I recommend that you leave this kingdom quickly. You have always been an eyesore to me, but I'm telling you to leave for a different reason. My daughter is ill. She is always dazing or dreaming. She lacks energy and can hardly concentrate on anything. She rejects her studies and duties. Fatigue is always evident, and she spends most of her time sleeping. This all happened after she had contact with you.
I am sending you to go out and retrieve some herbs or anything you can find to make my daughter better. You owe it to her. I am giving you seven moons from now to return with a cure for her. Perhaps your people know of the reason why she is behaving this way. If you fail to bring Chi-Chi a cure within the next seven moons, I will have your head. I had better not find you in Tokoro's chamber at dawn. You should be on your way venturing for the cure.
Remember… seven moons…
Signed,
His Lordship, Gyuu-Mao
"Goku?"
Talim frowned as she looked at Goku's face. There was a hint of worry on his face, as well as disbelief. He didn't answer when Talim called his name, and he only clutched the scroll close to him. "Chi-Chi," he whispered. The affects of the bond are already happening to her,he thought.
"What about the princess?" Talim asked, confused. "Did the letter say somethin' about Chi-Chi?"
Goku looked at her and shook his head quickly. "Just forget about it. Thank you for giving me the letter. You can go on back now."
Talim rubbed the back of her head shyly as she looked up at him. "Oh, I was supposed to ask if you needed anything. You know, I'm also learnin' how to take care of people, like a nurse. I'm eight years old now, so I'm pretty good…"
Goku smiled. "Good for you, but I don't need anything right now. Thank you for asking. Do you mind if I ask you a question?"
Talim nodded, and then looked confused just like Goku did. "I mean, no!" she said, shaking her head of mahogany hair quickly.
"All right," Goku said, smiling again. He seemed thoughtful now as he looked away.
"Um, how is Chi-Chi exactly?" he asked quietly. "Have you seen her lately or anything? Or, uh, has she mentioned me at all?"
"Hmm," Talim mused, tilting her head. "She doesn't seem excited about anything anymore, not even training. She just looks tired and thoughtful all day long. She was confused when it came to you. She hardly talks about you."
Leaning closer, her huge brown eyes were curious. "Why?"
"Oh, nothing," Goku said quickly. "I was only wondering. That's all. Thank you for coming to bring the scroll to me. I'm fine. You can go back now."
"All right," Talim sighed, sounding a little disappointed.
When Goku was alone again, he laid back in his bed to think. According to the Ox-King's letter and Talim's report, Chi-Chi wasn't doing well. If her condition worsened, she could die. The Ox-King was obviously concerned, but no medicine could cure Chi-Chi.
This was a matter of the heart…
Goku had all the information now.
Problem: Chi-Chi is nearing death, due to the unmet restoration of her Saiyan bond.
Solution: Her true mate must renew a Saiyan bond permanently.
How does he do this?
Goku blushed profusely. It was good to have just an emotional connection, but the Saiyan bond could be fulfilled completely if there was also a connection of body, mind, and spirit. The ultimate and most intimate connection had to be done.
However, what would it look like if Goku walked to the Ox-King the next morning?
"Why, good morning, Sire," he would say. "I've found the problem with your daughter. Did you know she's going to die because she had some crazy thing going on with an alien? Now don't flip. You want to know the solution? Hey, just let me make love to her."
Goku sighed. What was he going to do?
In addition, he knew such a thing would never happen without these three things: Chi-Chi's remembrance of him, the Ox-King's permission to give her away, and her marriage to him.
So far, the attempts to have these three things were unsuccessful. Each approach wasn't cutting it. If there was some way…somehow…
In the morning, the Ox-King sent Wakaru to go see if Goku was in the apothecary's room. Wakaru had questioned this command, saying Goku was still injured, so of course he would be there. The Ox-King merely mentioned that Goku knows what he means and that Wakaru should go now.
The captain of the guards rubbed his sleepy, brown eyes as he flew up the stairs, the metal sheath of his word clinging against the armor for his legs. He reached the closed door of the apothecary's room.
Wakaru ran a hand through his mussed, black hair before leaning close to the apothecary's door. His ear was pressed against the wood, as he listened for water running for the morning wash.
However, there was silence.
Wakaru knocked on the door. "Tokoro? Goku? Are any of you in there?"
There was still no sound.
Wakaru opened the door slowly and looked around the room. Bright sunlight poured in all over the room from the window, but the room was empty. It was tidy and clean, but empty.
Confusion was written on Wakaru's face. "Well, I suppose this is what the Ox-King wanted. Goku isn't here…"
He shrugged and turned to walk away, closing the door behind him.
To be continued…
Chapter Eighteen: The Estrangement