Another chapter!
Which is pretty fast, considering that the previous chapter was posted like, yesterday.
Yet another friend shall be introduced here, as another co-author: SoifonSan-Kristycyw. You can find her on deviantART. Just take the name, copy it onto the URL bar, and then add the '.' bit.
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The day after the first challenge, the mood at the Green Monkeys corner was quite cheerful. Now that a useless, annoying lump of fat wasn't shrieking around the place, the atmosphere was quite boisterous.
Of course, Kuukaku wasn't exactly in the best of moods when she'd heard the news, but she would shrug off any attempts to console her, saying that "that bastard had it coming to him anyway".
At six in the evening, after a (not so) filling meal of bonito, rice, and water, the eleven shinigamis headed to the arena.
Ichigo was standing there, loudspeaker at the ready, and the audience was a little restless.
"All right! Today's challenge isn't going to be a physical challenge, so it's a chance for those of you with brains and no brawn to shine! Even though Shiba Ganjyu was voted out last night, nobody from the Yellow Penguins is sitting out."
The Green Monkeys groaned.
Ichigo grinned. It was fun, torturing these poor shinigamis.
"Also, we have a special guest coming down to help us with tonight's challenge! Please welcome him, everybody!"
In the audience, Hisagi grinned to himself as he ate another fistful of popcorn. The soutaichou had noted that the shinigamis had missed their dinner to watch the show, and had decided that snacks would be sold by random unseated shinigamis walking up and down the aisles.
Kira sighed, and shook his head, as his longtime friend and drinking buddy sprayed another mouthful of soggy popcorn crumbs all over himself, and the surrounding shinigamis.
At the far end of the arena, a lone figure in white approached. A figure in white, with goggles and horribly braided hair, as if he'd done it in the dark. (Which technically, he had.)
The figure walked into the spotlight.
Hisagi choked on his mouthful of cola, spluttering a single word:
"TAICHOU?!"
For indeed, it was Kaname Tousen, captain of the ninth division, who stood there, in the center of the arena, hand resting calmly on his sword.
Ichigo sighed. Tousen had been one of the most reluctant to give permission to help in the challenges. After Tousen had consented, he then had to face the menial task of persuading Mayuri to create a video camera that could film in the conditions required. It took a long while. In the end, Ichigo had come back, saying that Mayuri had been 'persuaded' to create the cameras.
Of course, by 'persuaded', he meant 'threatened to give him a worse fate than Ishida had'.
So now, several twelfth division tech guys were running around, wielding the new cameras. The material filmed would be projected onto the screen, for the audience to see.
"The rules of this challenge are simple. Each team will have to complete a 500-piece puzzle. The group to finish first will win. The catch? Well, look and see."
Ichigo stepped back, safely out of range.
Tousen drew his sword.
Ichigo explained some more.
"Kaname-taichou here will release his bankai. This will mean that the puzzle must be solved in pitch-darkness, with no sense of sight. The ones who finish first will give a shout to notify Kaname-taichou, who will then cease using bankai."
The contenders separated meekly to the two tables in the arena, which were clearly labeled 'Penguins' and 'Monkeys'.
At the Yellow Penguins' table, a little quarrel was being staged over who should sit where.
At the Green Monkeys' table, Nemu was sitting, alone, at the table, the rest of the team around her like bodyguards.
"Three…two…one…All clear!"
Tousen put his hand to the ring on his sword's hilt.
"Bankai."
A dark balloon thing formed, trapping Tousen, the Yellow Penguins, the Green Monkeys and the cameramen within.
Of course, chaos ensued.
Through the screens, one could see everything that was happening. And why not? The cameras had been specially modified to film under such conditions.
The Yellow Penguins were panicking. You could say that they were flapping around. Like headless chickens.
'This is terrible', Renji thought. 'It's even worse than Kuchiki-taichou's death threats.'
Yumichika, on the other end, was close to hyperventilating.
"I can't see my beautiful face! My face! This isn't pretty at all!"
"Yumichika, shut up."
For the Green Monkeys, things were running relatively smoothly. Nemu was placing each piece slowly but surely into the puzzle, while everyone else waited anxiously for her to announce: "I'm done."
An hour or two later, Nemu fitted the last piece in, and whispered the sacred two words:
"Puzzle completed."
Ikkaku heard them, and whooped with joy.
"YESSSSS! We've finished the puzzle!"
A second later, the balloon disappeared.
Ichigo walked over to inspect the completed puzzle, and confirmed that it was, indeed, complete.
A pissed Nanao slammed down the piece she had been holding.
Ichigo handed a folded piece of paper to Nemu.
"This should help you in the next challenge. Use it anytime you want."
Nemu unfolded the paper. There, in neat, flowing script, was a single sentence.
You have a secret weapon.
"As for the losers, you'll be cleaning the sewers tomorrow!"
A collective groan arose.
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The next day, Ichigo roused the Yellow Penguins bright and early to clean the sewers. After a hasty breakfast of bonito, rice, and water, they were dragged to the sewer entrance, where Yamada Hanatarou and Koetsu Isane were waiting for then with a huge mountain of cleaning supplies.
"Take your pick, please."
And before Hanatarou could start instructing them on how to use the equipment, he was dragged away by Isane, to leave the six 'prisoners' in peace.
Of course, pandemonium arose.
"What's this?"
"Eww! It's got bristles on it!"
"This one's got RAGS tied to a stick!"
"Is this soap?"
"Wow, that looks like juice! Give it to me, I'm thirsty!"
"Wait, Renji!"
"ARGH! It tastes WORSE than expired umeboshi!"
(Umeboshi = plum pickles)
"Breathe, Renji. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out."
At twelve noon, they were given a simple lunch of – you guessed it – rice, bonito and water.
At five in the evening, the sewers were sort of clean. Ichigo came to collect them for the elimination round.
"All right! Vote the name of someone you want eliminated, and drop it into this box!"
One by one, the six solemnly dropped the names in, and Ichigo read them out.
"First vote: Yumichika."
"Nanao. Yumichika. Yumichika. Yumichika. Yumichika."
"Nanao and Yumichika, come forward. Today's elimination challenge is simple. Complete the obstacle course first, and you win. Got it?"
Both nodded.
The starting whistle blew. Nanao took off at top speed. Wall. Balance beam. Piranha pool. Barbed wire. Monkey bars.
Yumichika made it all the way through, faster than Nanao, until he reached a suspiciously brown and sticky lake.
"Is this…mud?!"
"Yup!"
Upon hearing Ichigo's cheerful reply, Yumichika did what was probably the stupidest thing he had done so far on the show.
He sat at the edge of the lake of mud, and sulked.
"I am NOT going in there. It'll make me look ugly."
At the word 'ugly', he cringed.
Needless to say, Nanao won that elimination challenge, due to Yumichika's refusal to continue the obstacle course.
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Second challenge complete!
Next chapter: the 'secret weapon' is unveiled!