A/N: Just to clear up doubts raised by those who did not read the author's note at the end of the previous chapter, 'farting' is referred to by posh people as 'blowing raspberries'. Therefore, the relevance between the farty-noises and the raspberries.

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Once again, the number of players on both teams was equal. Each team now had four members.

Both entered the arena at the same time, only to be confronted with two huge block-like things covered in cloth.

Ichigo stepped up to the center of the arena.

"All right! Today's challenge is very simple. You all like mochi, right?"

(A/N: Mochi is a popular Japanese dessert.)

A roar of agreement met his words.

"Well, today, you guys are in luck! In each of these boxes are 150 mochi boxes. You all have half an hour to eat as many as possible. The team that manages to eat more by the end of the time limit wins. Got it?"

The cloths were yanked away, to reveal to giant boxes filled with psychedelic colour.

"By the way, Inoue colour-coded the mochi according to flavour."

Whispers suddenly filled the arena.

"Inoue?"

"One of the ryoka, right?"

"Her cooking skills should be good…"

How wrong they were.

The whistle blew, signaling the start of the challenge.

Rukia snatched up a greenish-blue one.

"Wait…what did you use to colour the mochi?"

"Edible food dye."

"Should be safe, then."

She popped the ball into her mouth, whole.

Immediately, she began gagging.

"Eew! What flavour is this?"

Orihime picked up a 50 metre-long list and consulted it.

"Hmm…turquoise mochi…oh! Liver and strawberries blended together with some mayonnaise!"

Renji winced.

He cautiously picked a whitish one from the huge pile.

"Looks normal…should be safe…"

He popped it into his mouth, and chewed. Then he spat the mangled mass back out.

"Gross!"

Ishida grabbed the list and looked through.

"That was…tuna and honey."

Kuukaku bit into a pink-and-yellow one, only to spew it all out, onto the face of a certain redhead.

Ishida's eyes traveled down the list.

"Pink with yellow stripes…palm oil, brownie bits and fish paste."

In the audience, Isane winced. Fish paste scared her.

Yoruichi nibbled on the edge of a dark green one. When she didn't die after five seconds, she crammed it all into her mouth.

"Hmm…somehow, catnip suits her…"

Meanwhile, the Green Monkeys were having a bit more luck.

Ikkaku demolished a mochi ball in seconds, pleased to find that the combination of chocolate and cream overpowered the spicy taste of wasabi.

Gin had bent to pick up a neon green one with bright orange polka-dots.

"Hmm…tasty."

Chad wrestled the list away from Ishida.

"Tasty?! That was red bean, soy sauce, and bittergourd!"

Matsumoto, who had always been a huge fan of Orihime's cooking, had devoured 15 by the time Renji had made his way through his first mochi ball.

Nemu, next to her, was eating her way steadily through the sweet confections.

"I have an iron stomach," she said. "Vile tastes do not affect me. Mayuri-sama made me this way."

Half an hour later, there were six shinigamis lying on the floor, unable to eat anymore.

Renji, who had fainted halfway through his third mochi when Chad misread 'loofa' as 'pufferfish'. Pufferfish was poisonous, after all.

Rukia, who had collapsed the moment Orihime happily told her that the violently pink mochi actually held rabbit meat.

Kuukaku, lying weakly on the floor, after heaving the stomach equivalent of four-and-a-half mochi balls plus breakfast onto Renji.

Yoruichi, now suffering a stomachache after eating a mochi ball with a blend of cat food, dog food, and fish food.

Gin, finally admitting defeat after consuming 10 mochi balls, including one with sunflower seeds, jalapeno peppers, and lemon juice.

Ikkaku, who agreed that five mochi balls with wasabi included in the filling was just five too many.

Nemu and Matsumoto were happily sitting by a nearly-empty box.

Ichigo, Ishida, Chad, and Orihime calculated the total number of mochi eaten. (Half-eaten ones didn't count.

Yellow Penguins: 12 mochi.

Green Monkeys: 145 mochi.

"And…the winners are the Green Monkeys! Congratulations! You guys will be helping out in the preparations for tomorrow's punishments as a reward! As for the Yellow Penguins, tomorrow will be a very exciting day for you! The punishment will remain secret until tomorrow. Please gather at the arena at 11am sharp."

Ichigo rambled on, not noticing that the Yellow Penguins were barely conscious.

Back at the inn in Rukongai, Renji stood over the sink, heaving his insides into the little white bowl.

"Are you done, Renji? We need the sink too."

Rukia's weak voice drifted in from the other side of the closed door.

"Shaddup! Go get a paper bag or something! I'm busy!"

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Orihime waltzed around the kitchen the next morning.

"Hmm…some of this…a bit of that…"

"This too."

Gin held out a box labeled 'Scooby Snax'.

"Thanks, Ichimaru-san!"

Humming to herself, she mixed a generous portion of the brown crumbly stuff into the greenish mixture in her mixing bowl.

"Some of this," said Nemu, holding out a rusty can of sardines.

"Don't forget the pepper! Very important!" Matsumoto sang, dropping a plastic container in front of Orihime.

The Green Monkeys were helping Orihime prepare for that afternoon's punishment. All but Ikkaku, who was currently lounging on the sofa, refusing to do 'sissy stuff'.

Soon, noon time rolled around. The Yellow Penguins entered the arena reluctantly, to be confronted by a long table covered in a red cloth.

Ichigo stepped out.

"All right guys, I'm really sure you just loved the mochi from yesterday, right?"

The sarcasm in Ichigo's voice was hard to miss.

"Well, the chef was so pleased tat you loved her mochi so much, that she decided to make you lucky guys a three-course meal!"

A chorus of groans met this.

"Not only that, but the Green Monkeys helped out too! So…without further ado, please welcome…Inoue!"

Orihime bounced in, dragging behind her a trolley filled with dishes.

"Hi everyone! Lunch is here~"

She bent down, and set three covered plates in front of each shinigami.

"For appetizer, I made beansprout salad with natto, whipped cream, and spinach dressing, and Scooby Snax crumbled on top."

(Natto is Japanese fermented bean…I think. It's very sticky and stinky.)

"Scooby…Snax…?"

"Yup! It's high-quality dog biscuits I saw on a show! Even the humans ate it!"

"…"

"And the main course is sardines, in a black pepper sauce, with mashed yam and vanilla pods!"

Matsumoto grinned. Thank goodness Orihime hadn't forgotten the pepper.

"Dessert is mochi. Judging by the leftovers, the most popular flavour was spinach and sour gummies blended with curry leaves, so I made that. There's also a drink, chocolate and mayonnaise milkshake with curry powder sprinkled on top."

Renji stared forlornly at the three shiny plates and one glass in front of him.

Ichigo took back the mike.

"And…no one is to leave here until they finish everything they've been served! On your marks…get set…go!"

Nine sets of plate covers were whipped off. Putrid steam arose from the plates, colouring the air above the four diners purple, orange, green, and pink. A distinct whiff of rotten eggs was in the air.

Rukia poked sullenly at her salad. Popping a brownish crumb into her mouth, she decided that it wasn't that bad, and proceeded to carefully extract all brown bits from her salad. Thankfully, she loved natto almost as much as she loved Chappy, so she made her way relatively fast through the salad.

Renji picked up a lettuce leaf, looked at it suspiciously, sniffed it, and then crammed it into his mouth. The gross-sounding salad dressing actually tasted a little like porridge if one closed his eyes, he discovered. Unfortunately, while attempting to polish off the salad with his eyes closed, he ended up dropping a cream-encrusted leaf onto Yoruichi's face.

Kuukaku had decided to begin with the main course. She stabbed the sardines, and began to eat. She immediately gagged, sending sardine bits flying into Renji and Rukia, sitting opposite her.

"Inoue, how much pepper did you put?!"

"Pepper…I think…about the whole bottle, maybe?"

Kuukaku choked, and took a long, good swig from the milkshake glass. Coughing, she expelled the mouthful out and onto Renji's sardines.

Renji looked mournfully at the small lump of goop on his sardines. Slowly, it began to melt, diluting the pepper sauce.

Yoruichi decided to employ an old trick Urahara had taught her. Hold your breath, cram in a lot of food, swallow, and then release your breath. Apparently, it was supposed to lessen the nastiness of the food.

Amazingly, it sort of worked.

After four hours, they finally finished all the food. They dragged themselves back to the inn for a mere hour of puking and rest, before the elimination round began.

They headed to the arena once again.

Ichigo grinned, as he looked at the four slips of paper that the contestants had just given him.

"Hmm…let's see…First vote: Renji."

"Kuukaku. Renji. Kuukaku. Renji and Kuukaku, please come up."

"Today's elimination round is relatively simple to grasp the concept of. Run around this arena. The one who collapses first loses. Ready?"

The shinigamis who had gathered to watch cheered.

"Go!"

They began to run. And run. And run.

An hour ticked by. Neither one showed any signs of stopping.

Two hours.

Three.

Finally, it was midnight. Kira's face was nodding very dangerously into his umpteenth barrel of tea. Beside him, Hisagi's hand was very close to tipping the contents of the almost-full soda bottle (his twentieth) into his fifteenth bucket of popcorn.

Kuukaku groaned.

"Darn."

She collapsed, face-first, onto the track.

Renji whooped. Or tried to, anyway. After all, he had been running for seven hours straight. No one could blame him for not having enough energy.

"Thank you taichou! I'll never complain again when you chase me around Seireitei with you pink fluffy sissy zanpakutou!"

Byakuya's face twisted into a scowl. He rested his elegant hand on the hilt of his noble sword.

He was about to draw it, and slice Renji into ribbons, when…

"Bakudou number 99! Kin!"

Black bands bound Byakuya's arms together. On the other side of the ring, Tessai, former captain of the Kido forces and Urahara's shop helper, stood up. Ukitake, next to Byakuya, attempted to calm the enraged taichou down.

Ichigo lifted the mike blearily.

"And…the winner is Renji. Next person to be kicked off the show, Kuukaku. Good night!"

With that, he collapsed on the podium. He was snoring before he even hit the ground.

Ishida shook his head resignedly.

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Next chapter: Finally something physical at last!

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