Chapter 4

"It's funny, when I pictured having kids. I always thought I'd be married by this point." JD stared at Sam and Izzy playing beside him and Turk.

"You imagined you'd be married to Marcia Brady and figured out the secret to floating head doctor by now." Turk replied, picking up his daughter and giving her a kiss. "I mean I didn't think I'd have kids so soon but here's Carla looking at having another one."

"So you're going to try for a boy?" JD asked, pulling Sam into his lap.

"Brother wants to conceive a little brother." Turk lay back and let Izzy rest on his stomach.

JD lay back with his best friend. "You're lucky though. You have that person with you always and you get to see Izzy everyday. I'm alone and I can only see Sam so much, you know?"

"Dude, we're not going there again okay? We have this conversation too many times and it always ends the same." Turk pushed the emotional conversation aside before remembering. "Besides from what I hear, you've been hooking up and you haven't told me."

"Where did you hear that?" JD tried to stall and turned away from Turk so his best friend couldn't read the look on his face.

"You just turned your head away so I couldn't read your face. It's totally true, isn't it?"

"No it's not." JD spoke too slowly. Even he knew Turk wouldn't be as stupid to fall for it. For a brief moment JD let his mind wander. He had barely spoken to Perry since he had bailed on their special night and didn't really know where he stood. Secrecy was hard that way.

Turk opened his mouth wide before shaking his head. "Please don't tell me you and Mole-butt are bumping uglies again."

"No Turk it's not Elliot." JD sputtered, hoping that something would happen to change the subject. Hearing a jingle in the background, he said a mental thanks to fate. "Ice-cream truck!"

"You can't ice-cream truck your way outta this one." Turk shook his head and JD obeyed the implied order.

"Okay so how did you find out?" JD asked, bouncing Sam on his lap and trying not to meet his friend's eyes.

"Todd asked me who you were hooking up with. Said you had a massive booty call bruise." Turk moved his face to meet JD's eyes, a smile on his face. "Tell me who the rough broad is."

"I promised I wouldn't tell. It's kind of a secret and I don't want to sabotage it." JD was telling the truth, though he couldn't deny that the last few days had been tense. All the feelings had been left unsaid and neither was making an effort, which in effect was probably a worse relationship wrecker.

"You sabotage every relationship you've ever been in, why is this one so different?"

"It just is, now please drop it." JD snapped, unwilling to take it any further.

"Okay calm down." Turk gave a hurt look to his best friend. "Since when have we not been able to tell each other things?"

Before JD could answer fate intervened once again. One of the playground moms came up to their spot. "Chris, hello there. I'm looking forward to dinner with you and Carla tomorrow night."

Turk became caught up in the conversation, despite efforts to protest. JD used the time to stare off into space and once again let his mind drift to Perry. The part of him that loved the sharing of a secret was fading and all he wanted was to tell people. If people knew they wouldn't have to sneak around and Perry wouldn't constantly be angry or running away. They could just be with each other, happy and comfortable like they were during their acts of love. Part of him wished that it was Perry and Jennifer Dylan with him, even though he enjoyed the company of Turk and Izzy.

Having finished the conversation with the playground mom, Turk turned his attention back to JD. "Fine, I'll drop the subject. I have a feeling that I don't want to know anyway." He looked at his watch. "I'm supposed to meet Carla for lunch. Did you want to come?"

"No I think I'm just going to head home. Spend some time with Sammy before his mommy takes him away." JD threw his back pack over his shoulders before picking up his son. "I'll see you later Chocolate Bear."

"Vanilla Bear, you know when you want to tell me about your mystery maiden I'm all ears."

"I won't be telling you about my mystery maiden anytime soon…" JD waved to Turk and walked off before whispering to his son secretly. "…because I'm falling in love with a guy."

Back at his apartment, JD was watching X-men cartoons with Sam sitting on the couch beside him. While his son drank from his bottle and bounced up and down excitedly, JD would explain everything about the show to him.

"See that's Storm. She controls the weather with her mind." JD smiled when his son smiled at him. "In the human version, she was played by a very hot chick."

Sam put down his bottle before crawling towards his dad. Grabbing JD's thigh, he leaned on it looking as though he was about to snooze off. JD lightly rubbed Sam's back for awhile, hoping that their time together would last.

There was a knock on his apartment door soon after. JD checked the clock in annoyance. Kim was an hour earlier than she said she would be. Sighing he picked up Sam and kissed his forehead. "Looks like you have to go because mommy decided to be a bitch and pick you up early." Then realising what he said. "Oh yeah and even though you can't talk, don't tell mommy that daddy thinks she's mean for taking you away too early."

The knock sounded again, louder this time. Finally JD stood up and went to answer it. Opening the door he prepared to give Kim a mouthful and beg her to let Sam stay another hour. He found himself stunned when he realised that it wasn't Kim at the door, but Todd.

"Hey JD, I just thought I'd come over." Todd said, trying to look confident but shuffling a little.

"Come in, I guess." JD stood aside and let Todd into his place. Though he didn't want to seem rude, he kind of regretted letting the other man in. "What brings you here?"

"I thought you might be sad because when your son goes back with his hot mommy, you always seem depressed." Todd revealed a plastic bag. Waiting until JD sat back down, he revealed the contents. "So I bought you Jagermeister and this month's issue of Hustler."

JD was a little stunned by the gifts, but still touched by Todd coming over. "Thanks Todd." He knew Todd was trying his best and part of him felt kind of flattered, especially since he had been feeling so low in the love department.

Sitting down on the couch beside the father and son, Todd looked at them curiously. "Can I hold him?"

A little reluctant, JD handed his son over. He propped Sam up on Todd's knee. "There you go. Sam, meet The Todd."

"Baby five." Todd kept one hand on Sam's back to support him and held up the other in a high five. Slowly, Sam reached out and lightly pressed his tiny palm to the much bigger one in front of him. Todd smiled, turning to JD. "You gotta admit that's cool."

JD couldn't help but laugh. "I think he likes you."

"What about his dad?" Todd's look suddenly turned serious. "Does Sam's dad like The Todd?"

JD didn't know how to respond to the question, partly because he didn't even know the answer anymore. Every time Todd was near him, the spark would flicker on and plant thoughts in his mind. Perry just seemed to fly out the window, which was easy given his recent behaviour towards JD.

Todd's eyes were making him nervous, so JD turned his attention to the television where X-men was still playing. "Sam and I were watching X-men."

"I love X-men! Awesome!" Todd exclaimed, seeming to forget what he'd just asked.

JD took Sam back from Todd. The three of them sat watching the cartoon. JD was still randomly explaining things to his son about the show. "That's Rogue. See she can't touch people because when she does she absorbs all their power."

This time, however, Todd helped out. "Who cares about that? I would still sex that red hair right off."

"Todd, not in front of Sam. Besides you couldn't have sex with Rogue, the moment she touches you, you'd pass out." JD rolled his eyes, though still had to admit it was funny.

As time went on, they sat in silence while Sam crawled around on the floor. JD stopped explaining things and just concentrated on the man next to him. It felt kind of nice, just sitting there with Todd. However the sexual tension between them could be cut with a chainsaw, making things a little less comfortable.

Their knees were touching slightly. JD knew that Todd noticed it too. In fact he was the one encouraging it. JD turned to his friend and their eyes met. Todd inched slightly closer, so their thighs were right beside each other.

"Our legs are rubbing up against each other." JD whispered, stating the obvious.

"You're not making an attempt to move away." Todd whispered back, running his hand down JD's thigh.

JD felt the tingles shoot up and down his leg. His breathing became a little heavier as Todd walked his fingers over his thigh. Slowly but surely Todd was making his way towards the gap. Up towards his crotch, where JD could feel himself getting excited. Todd's hands were actually shaking as he continued the walking motion, realising just how close he was to JD's pleasure zone.

JD grabbed Todd's hand to steady it before things could go any further. "Stop doing that!"

A knock on the door thrilled JD, despite the fact that he knew it was definitely Kim this time. Realising he was still holding Todd's hand he yelped and pulled away. Turning from the surgeon, he looked at his son. Picking him up from the floor, JD's face fell.

"You have to go now, but remember that Daddy loves you." JD hugged Sam tight before going to the door. Kim stood there, holding her arms out as JD slowly handed his son away.

"Hope he wasn't too much trouble." Kim replied, kissing Sam on the forehead.

"No he was awesome." JD explained softly. "Bye Sam. Come back and visit again soon." He solemnly shut the door and sighed, shocked to find that Todd was right behind him.

"Dude, that sucks." Todd touched JD's arm. "Are you going to be okay?"

In the mood to be alone, JD pulled away. "What are you even doing here?"

"This." Todd stated simply before pulling JD to him and moving in. His lips landed perfectly on JD's and Todd firmly but tenderly kissed them. He pulled back to see the reaction. "Ever since that time on the roof I can't stop thinking about you."

"That was weeks ago." JD knew that he couldn't deny that he liked the kiss and the openness with Todd. The spark had turned into a small fire and the fantasies began to flow back.

"I know but whenever I see you now you just look so…sexy." Todd moved in again, this time cupping JD's face. "The Todd has to kiss you again."

Hearing he was sexy in someone's eyes made JD feel special. When Todd kissed him again, he found himself returning the kiss with just as much passion. Feeling Todd's mouth and tongue working with his own made JD weak at the knees. Todd's arms around him made him feel warm and comforted. JD gave in to his fire and let his hands run over Todd's incredible body. Gripping the other man tight so he couldn't get away, JD was reluctant to let the amazing and hot kiss end.

"Newbie!" JD could hear the voice in his head. No longer was Perry a distant memory. No longer was his lover forgotten. He opened his eyes and removed his mouth from Todd's. When he heard the voice again, JD realised Perry wasn't in his mind, but at the door. He stood in place with his heart pounding and his lips tingling.

"What's Cox doing here?" Todd asked, looking towards the doorway and keeping JD pressed to him.

"Who knows?" JD whispered in reply, releasing his grip and slipping away from Todd. He felt somewhat paranoid that Perry could see him through the wall.

Todd grabbed JD's hand, running his thumb over the knuckles. "Don't answer it, we can have a little fun and he never has to know you're home."

"I better get the door, it could be an emergency." JD made his way to the door once again. Once he opened it, Perry let himself in. At that moment, JD stared at the scene. There was the man he was falling in love with staring at another man who he had just kissed and was confused about.

Todd's face fell slightly. JD noticed this and felt sort of guilty. Todd looked at the time. "Hey look at that. Player almost forgot about the big date tonight. I'll see you later JD."

JD knew he was lying, but he made no attempt to stop Todd leaving, despite the small part of him that wanted to. He watched the door shut behind him. Swallowing the lump in his throat he tried to keep himself from collapsing. Feeling Todd's kiss still lingering on his lips and Perry's stare on the side of his head JD preyed for a sign of which way to go.

"I thought you might be a little depressed after Sam left. Plus I wanted to see you. I figure it's a time like this you'd understand how hard it is for me to leave my kids."

Turning to Perry, JD took his words as a sign that his feelings for Todd were nothing but disguised sabotage. Throwing his arms around the older man, JD buried his head in Perry's neck. "I was really upset when you didn't come over. Then you wouldn't even look at me."

Perry hushed him. "Don't be like that. I'm here now aren't I? Surely that proves I feel for you."

JD began unbuttoning Perry's shirt and trailing kisses down his collar bone. Perry eased him back though, shaking his head. JD felt sick at the thought of Perry pushing him away again at such a bad time. However, he felt Perry tug at the bottom of his T-shirt. JD raised his arms, allowing Perry to remove it.

"Tonight, it's all about you." Perry whispered before trailing kisses down JD's body. "I care about you so much."

Forgetting the world existed, JD surrendered to Perry. He appreciated everything Perry was offering him. Feeling the soft kisses leading towards his hips. Letting his member grow hard with pleasure. Shutting his eyes and letting out a soft moan of ecstasy, JD forgot all about Todd and his confusing feelings. There was only Perry.

NOTE: Who's up for a cup of confusion! Heck writing this is tricky because I have ways of ending the story, it's just a matter of which ending fits and who JD ends up with in that one. Anyways, glad to see the hits/reviews and people keeping track of this story. The next few chaps are looking good and getting deeper into the whole situation. So I hope you enjoy that and are liking the story so far.