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Chapter 7
Perry sat in his office, catching up on some paperwork. The week had been quite a hectic one, which had its good and bad points. He hadn't been able to get too much time off to spend with his family. Still he'd also been too distracted to over think the situation with JD.
The door to his office opened and singing filled the small room. "It's been one week since you looked at me, cocked your head to the side and said I'm angry..."
Perry looked up towards the sound, seeing JD enter his office. It was their first meeting alone since that morning at JD's apartment. Everything he had successfully blocked out with work and scotch now came back to him. What surprised him was that JD didn't seem upset or indifferent at all.
"What are you doing here, Newbie?"
JD jumped on Perry's desk, his mood cheerful. "How come we've never fooled around in here? Doesn't this seem like a much better place than the roof?"
Perry gulped, feeling JD tease his hand with his fingertips. "What's your point?"
JD grinned widely, ignoring Perry's brush-off attempts. "What I was singing. It's been one week since we've been alone together. Except with patients and that's work and stuff. I know you've been busy, but I just thought I'd see how you were Per Per."
"You know why I've avoided you JD." Perry's eyes darted downward and he pulled his hand away. "Come on, not here."
JD tilted Perry's face up and his face turned serious. "I forgive you. It's okay. I understand that it's just about sex and nothing more."
Perry let out a chuckle and shook his head. "JD, you're lying."
"No I'm not." JD replied too quickly, and darted his eyes from side to side; the number one give away that he was in fact lying. He just didn't want things to be awkward between the couple any more.
Perry stood up from his desk and paced the room. "JD I know you're lying, because I'm lying. My feelings for you are too strong."
JD watched as Perry kept walking back and forth. An awkward silence filled the room. The thoughts flowing through both men's minds made the silence seem almost deafening. Questions wanting to be asked, feelings wanting to be expressed, yet neither wanted to be the one that dared go first.
"Where do we go from here?" JD shyly spoke up, flashing his doe-eyes at Perry.
Perry walked over to his desk, standing in front of his secret lover. "I don't know, JD."
JD stood up and grabbed Perry's hands, looking at him with a smile. Trying to stop himself, Perry found that his lips were involutarily puckering. Slowly but surely, he moved his face closer until he seized JD's lips. Running his hands through JD's hair, Perry relished at feeling the smooth, silky strands through his fingers.
Breaking apart and throwing his arms up in the air, Perry cried out in frustration. "This is just insane. We can't do this again."
"Why not, it was feeling good with the kissing and that perfect amount of tongue." JD stood in the middle of the office, his eyes pleading to get back to the endearments.
"You do not understand." Perry turned around, looking at JD with absolute and intense seriousness. "You drive me absolutely insane. Crazy. Cuckoo. I can't think whenever I'm around you."
"You really do have strong feelings for me." JD blushed, wrapping his arms around Perry's waist. "I knew it."
Perry cupped JD's face, taking it in for a moment. "I can't risk hurting you again. I'm supposed to help people, especially the one's I care about. Now here I am hurting you all."
"Perry, you made me a promise." JD replied, kissing Perry's thumb as it grazed his cheek. "You promised me you'd never hurt me again. I believe you."
"It's not that easy, JD." Perry started, but JD hushed him by pressing their lips together. Just as he had always done, just as he was afraid of, Perry lost all control and gave into the kiss.
"It is that easy Per Per. Come on." JD moved Perry's hand, forcing it down the back of his scrubs pants. Flashing that cheeky and suggestive smile that he knew Perry couldn't resist.
Perry gripped JD's ass with a purpose. Grunting, he forced the younger man into a rough, yet passionate kiss. JD pulled Perry onto the huge desk, groaning as the pair of mighty hands gripped him. Perry pinned JD down hard, forcing him onto the wood.
However instead of the moan of pleasure Perry expected to hear, JD winced in pain. Worrying that he may have grabbed JD too hard, Perry removed his hands from underneath JD's clothes. Stroking his lover's face, Perry swallowed a gulp as he worried. He looked at JD questioningly, wanting to get back to playing.
"It's okay." JD whispered, lifting up his scrubs and rubbing his side slightly.
Perry looked at the small but noticeable discolourations on JD's skin. Turning away, his breathing became heavy. It was obvious, even if JD didn't say it, that he was the one that had caused those bruises. All his previous attacks on JD came flooding back. All the seemingly harmless times he pushed JD away, then the most recent and very violent attack. What Perry had percieved as firm reminders, which had really been hurting JD more.
"Perry, what's wrong?" JD had appeared in front of Perry. "Come on baby."
"I think you should go. I'm sorry." Perry turned away again, feeling a little quesy and conflicted. "Why didn't you tell me I did that to you?"
"It's nothing, I forgive you." JD traced his fingertips down Perry's back. "They're getting better and smaller every day, we just can't get too feisty is all."
"JD I can't forgive myself right now." Perry stared out the window, not daring to look at his abused lover. "Just wait until you're better, okay. I said I wouldn't hurt you, so I'm not going to. Not even by accident."
After a few moments, he heard JD walk out the door. Perry sat back down at his desk, straightening up the rustled paperwork. The abuse at his hand that he had successfully brushed off was now the main feature of his conscious mind. No longer could he ignore the fact that he had actually hurt someone he may just be falling in love with. In annoyance, Perry aggressively sweeped the contents off his desk, causing papers to fly.
"Why me!?"
Todd was walking down the hallways, having finished his shift. Strutting towards the entrance, his mood brightened as he spotted his crush also about to exit the hospital. Figuring he'd been patient enough, Todd decided to confront the other man.
"JD, wait up!" He cried out, catching up to JD before he could leave. "You're off now too I see."
"Yeah, I'm just going home." JD felt the butterflies in his stomach go nuts as Todd continued to follow him. "How have you been Todd?" JD hoped to avoid the subject of feelings being brought up.
"Doing well, though I've been wondering." Once they were out in the parking lot, Todd grabbed JD's hand with surprising gentleness. "Have you thought about what I said?"
JD found the courage to look up in those dark brown eyes. He didn't want to tell Todd that he hadn't made a decision regarding the two of them. All he knew was that he didn't want to give up on Perry just yet. After their moment earlier that day, JD figured Perry needed him. This meant he couldn't fulfil Todd's wish to be exclusive, even though he did like the surgeon a lot. The silence said it all for him and a pang of guilt shot his chest.
"It's okay." Todd seemed surprisingly happy and calm by the news. A smile donned his face. "The Todd is going to take you on a date."
JD felt indifferent and confused by the offer. He hadn't been on a real date for awhile, as Perry would never break their secrecy in such a way. A part of his mind felt paranoid at the mere thought. "I don't know Todd."
"Come on, it will help you make your decision." Todd stated then having an idea, he grabbed JD around the waist. "We'll make it a private affair. The Todd will cook for you. My place, come on."
JD couldn't resist the smile, nor could he really argue with Todd's logic. Plus he wasn't really in the mood to cook that night. Nodding to the other man, JD agreed on the date. "Sure, why not?" His worries were soon replaced by excitement.
"Awesome!" Todd led JD over to his car by the hand. Pressing JD against the passenger side door, he whispered to him. "Come on, kiss me."
Spotting Perry stepping out of the hospital doors, JD's eyes widened. He opened the door, ducking quickly into the car and out of sight. "Wait until we get back to your place."
"Private one, are we? Nice!" Todd went over to his side, hopping in the driver's seat.
JD sat nervously as they drove out of the parking lot. He saw out the window, Perry getting into his Porsche. At that moment he couldn't help but feel his date with Todd wasn't such a good idea. His tense posture had not gone unnoticed. Soon after, he began to calm down as unnatural warmth spread throughout his body. Snapping to attention, JD realised that Todd was touching his thigh.
"Don't be so nervous. Relax." Todd squeezed JD before removing his hand for a brief moment to put on a CD.
JD recognised the music immediately, letting out an excited yelp. "You like Journey too?!" Suddenly any doubts about Todd just disappeared from his mind and he mentally decided to give the date a fair chance.
"Journey are awesome."
JD started singing along with the music, as he couldn't resist. "We sailed on together, we drifted apart, and here you are by my side..." Noticing Todd eyeing him, JD shied and mentally slapped himself for acting like such a teenage girl.
Todd pulled the car over to the side of the road. "Why did you stop?"
JD was about to answer, but his look became confused. "This isn't your building."
"I know, you just looked so sexy singing along." Todd leaned over and forced a hungry kiss on his companion's mouth, which JD gladly responded too. The kiss soon deepened into an amazing and intense moment. Things started heating up between them and Todd craved more body contact. "Want to take this to the backseat?"
A part of JD wanted to, but for some reason he couldn't. He didn't want to mislead Todd, making him believe he was the only one. Managing to hide his true thoughts, JD playfully pushed Todd back. "You promised me a nice dinner. By the way, I didn't know you could cook."
"The Todd is good at many things." He started up the car again. His short attention span seeming to override his libido for the moment. Still craving contact with JD, Todd resumed the thigh stroking. In the back of his mind, he hoped he was making a good impression.
JD hadn't been to Todd's apartment too many times over the years, but it still felt familiar and safe. The atmosphere still had that sexy feel to it; fuelled by some strategic mood lighting Todd had set up via a dimmer switch. JD was relieved that Todd wasn't insisting on him "hammocking-up" this time, which seemed to be the only noticeable change about the bachelor pad. As the date was getting started, with him mainly talking to Todd through the kitchen door while he prepared their meal, JD relaxed even more. The smell wafting through the air made him even more willing to really get the date underway.
"Here we go, Honey Soy Chicken a la Todd." Todd placed the plate down in front of JD before refilling his companion's wine glass. "Hope I didn't take to long. You like the wine?"
"Yeah, it's good." JD replied, sipping his second glass with a playful smile. "Are you trying to get me drunk?"
Todd sat down with him. "Why, will I need to?" He grinned back, trailing his fingers down JD's arm.
"Well I do get a little handsy after a few, so beware."
Todd leaned in close, placing his hand over JD's. He whispered softly, so JD had to move closer to hear. "Then maybe getting you drunk is a good idea."
JD looked at the appetising dinner in front of him. Just the smell of it was begging him to taste the meal. Gingerly he cut the chicken and took a bite. His pallet hadn't tasted such flavour in a long time.
"Looks like you're enjoying my masterpiece." Todd admired his date, feeling flattered that he had scored points with the food.
"This is really great." JD explained after swallowing another mouthful of chicken. "Where did you learn to do all this?"
"Quickest way to a person's heart and occasionally a person's pants. It's not like I had too much choice." Todd replied, leaning over and pecking JD on the lips. "Besides, it appears to be impressing you so far."
Their eye contact remained for a little bit. The mood became even more romantic purely from that moment. JD blushed as Todd stared at him in such a way. He always felt sexy when it happened. Todd seemed to have a unique way of looking at people.
Deciding to get some conversation flowing, JD thought back. "If I remember correctly, you're a fan of Harry Potter."
Todd seemed a little embarrassed, as his mucho façade was breaking down. Though he found that when he looked at JD, none of it mattered. "Dude, Harry Potter is brilliant. When the new movie comes out, we should totally go together."
"Only if we can dress up in wizard costumes!" JD couldn't help but compliment himself mentally. "So what else are you into?"
The conversation flowed freely as the two finished their dinner. JD found out about Todd's secret love of musical theatre, plus how he wanted to go to theatre camp but his dad wouldn't let him. JD confessed a bunch of his secret likes, which Todd laughed off in understanding rather than mocking. Over time, both of them just grew so comfortable with each other talking of work and memories. Laughter was shared across the table as both confessed that they loved to dance around to 80's music in their living rooms, or in Todd's case wherever it played.
Todd poured himself the last of the wine. "You seem to be enjoying yourself then." He scooted his chair, closer to JD's. Placing his hand lightly on the other man's shoulder, Todd smiled. "I'm really glad you came tonight."
"So am I." JD felt Todd pull him up from the table. He went along with it, standing up and surrendering into a nice embrace.
"You're not too cold are you? You appear to be shivering." Todd observed, pressing his forehead to JD's.
"No I'm fine." JD slid his arms tighter around Todd. "It happens sometimes when you touch me." He tried to control his tingling and quivering, but with the few glasses of wine and the feelings that were buzzing around vigorously, his body didn't want to co-operate.
"Good to know The Todd has that effect on you."
JD moved in for a kiss but to his surprise, his date moved back. JD was a little confused until he felt Todd stroke his cheek. He realised that Todd was taking him in, admiring his features and savouring their time. All Todd wanted was just to look at him at that moment. After a fleeting moment of surprise, JD felt his heart melt slightly and everything else faded away. He drifted off in his mind, to thoughts of him and Todd. The possible future they could have together.
"Todd. Todd. Todd." JD whispered to himself.
"Off in your little fantasy world again." Todd rolled his eyes, before grinning. "You know it would be annoying if you didn't look so cute."
"Why can't you be like this all the time?" JD felt a blush creep onto his cheeks and the corners of his mouth curl up in a smile as they stood there. "It's just nice to see you like this."
"Player has a reputation to protect." Todd replied, leaning even closer to JD so he could whisper. "But I suppose The Todd could give it all up for you."
Finally, he allowed JD to kiss him. A deep and passionate kiss, in which time seemed to stand still. Absorbed in each other, the two moved themselves to the comfortable couch. Continuing to kiss, caress and live in the moment. JD slowly pressed against Todd, hinting for him to lie down. Todd obliged, pulling the other man on top of him.
JD gritted a little, due to slight pressure on his bruises but soon relaxed into Todd's arms. "I like being on top."
"You really do get handsy after a few. Nice!"
JD grabbed Todd's t-shirt, pulled it over his head and threw it aside. Moving down, he inhaled the scent of Todd's cologne. Admiring as his body appeared to glisten slightly. Trailing kisses up the chiselled physique until he met Todd's mouth again.
Todd pulled back with a suggestive look and smile. "I think it's easy to see who the better choice is now, huh JD." Todd raised his eyebrows as something else began to rise. "The things I'm going to do to you." He tugged at the bottom of JD's shirt, trying to remove it.
JD pulled back from Todd in slight shock. Partly because he didn't want Todd discovering his bruises and asking questions, but also because that one sentence had thrown him off. He had managed to forget about Perry the whole date, but suddenly as JD felt Todd's shirtless body, guilt filled him. He remembered Perry confessing strong feelings that afternoon, unable to bring himself out of the memory and back into the moment.
"JD, what's going on?" Todd rubbed JD's back softly, trying to coax him back down on the couch.
Shuffling away from Todd, JD sighed regretfully. "Look I don't think I can do this tonight."
"We were having such a great time." Todd appeared more confused than usual. "Was it something I said?"
JD shook his head, though his mind was screaming the opposite. "No it's nothing you said, I'm just not in the mood. I have an early shift tomorrow, I better go."
Todd tilted JD's face to meet his. "By the look of your penis, you're more than in the mood." He slid his hand towards JD's crotch, attempting to sneak it in his pants.
Standing up, JD snapped. "Todd, stop it!" He felt like he was cheating, even though it was a ridiculous thought. "I have to go, thanks for dinner." He walked towards the door, not counting on the fact that Todd was faster.
"Come on, JD." Todd blocked him from leaving. "You know we should totally be having sex right now. We like each other."
"Is it just about sex with you Todd? Is that all you want from me?" JD asked him seriously, his voice louder than intended. "I know you said you like me, but I have to know." He knew the answer to the question, but a part of him hoped that Todd just wanted sex like he always implied. The confusion and feelings were getting too much for him. JD didn't want to be a cheater, misleading either of his partners about feelings. He had to pick just one, for his own sanity.
"JD, you know I care about you." Todd hugged JD, pressing their bodies together gently so their two hearts beat against each other. "Come on and stay. We can talk, watch a DVD and listen to some music. Maybe kiss some more."
As hugs always weakened him, JD returned the affection. Still, he couldn't be near Todd anymore with such temptation in the air. He knew he had to clear his mind and make a firm decision before anything happened between them. "Listen, I have to think about things." He managed to get passed Todd and slip out the door.
Todd leaned against the door trying to fathom what happened. He couldn't understand why he couldn't just laugh it off like the other times. He didn't know why JD went back to someone else, when he offered something romantic, protective yet kinky. Still able to smell JD on himself, Todd had never felt so tortured with another person. Feelings were rising in him, much bigger than the simple crush he thought he had.
