Chapter 8

It had been a few days since Perry had felt JD's touch on his body or his lips on his. They had been missing chances to be alone at the hospital. He had tried to work up the courage to organise a roof get together for them both, but even in the one moment of free time he had he just couldn't do it. Sure he would look at those beautiful doe-eyes knowing he was forgiven and that JD wanted him to move on, but it still plagued him. The absence had made everything much worse. He craved JD more than usual. What he wouldn't give to hear JD moan his name or place a hand anywhere on his bare skin.

He loved JD and wanted to give him the world, knowing that he would take it. At the same time Perry knew he could never provide it, or admit it for that matter. The conflict made him angry and crazy, but depressed more than anything. Even denial sex with Jordan wasn't providing the fix that it used to. The tormenting thoughts of JD and the feelings towards him would return.

Sitting on his couch, drinking scotch he watched his kids play on the floor. The two kids he had with the woman he was lying to. As he continued watching, he knew he was lying to them too. Jack hopped up from the floor and ran over to his dad. Jumping up on the couch he gave Perry a hug.

"I love you Daddy." Jack said, looking up and smiling. "Even though you drink a lot."

"That's great there kid." Perry patted his son on the head. "Let me tell you something about love though, it sucks. It will warp your mind until you can't see straight anymore and life as you know it will spiral out of control."

"Please the kid is already screwed up enough. Don't be giving him love sucks speeches. He can learn that from watching us." Jordan joined him on the couch, ushering Jack away. "Go play with your sister, Daddy and Mommy want grown up time."

"Mommy and Daddy are going to kiss" Jack made a face before running back to Jennifer Dylan and playing with the toys on the floor.

"Don't get any ideas now." Jordan saw Perry was about to kiss her. "I could use some of that scotch, though."

"Don't take that away from me Jordan, you can't possibly need it as much as I do." Perry begged, downing the last of his glass.

"I'm with you, aren't I? I haven't been out in weeks. You're always so busy and you've been getting way too handsy for my liking." Jordan explained, going to fill her own glass with a drink.

As Perry listened to Jordan go on about her week, he desperately wanted to tell her about JD. He knew it was crazy and that the words would never escape his mouth, but the part of his conscience still unaffected by alcohol was begging him to confess. Everything was all stuffed up in his head, with no way of getting out. So he decided on the next best thing: distraction.

"Let's get out of here then. We can drop the kids at that guy's place. You know the one that smells like cheese." Perry stood up, willing to do something since it was clear Jordan wasn't going to have sex so he could forget.

"Oh yeah, the guy with the cheese." Jordan replied, thinking back. "Not very good in bed, but the kids seem to like him. Okay we'll drop them off now."

On the way to the bar, Perry couldn't help but find himself excited. Even though it was pretty much just drinking away from the house, as opposed to on the couch, it was something. Plus Jordan seemed happy and with any luck would toss him an appreciation throw down later. At the very least he could still drink the night away and forget his troubles until tomorrow.

In the bar, Perry spotted a free table immediately. Jordan ran over before two blonde girls could sit down. Making a quip about them being too slow and slutty, she ordered Perry to get her a cosmopolitan. Walking up to the bar, Perry let himself get lost in the atmosphere for a moment.

"Cosmopolitan and a scotch please." Perry told the bartender. Looking around, his face turned to shock as he noticed the man drinking an appletini at the end of the bar. His eyes met JD's briefly and they just stared at each other.

"Hey Dr Cox, how's it going." From next to JD, Turk was waving. Perry was relieved to find that JD wasn't alone and that, despite his presence, temptation wouldn't rear it's ugly head.

Perry waved them off, quickly collecting his drinks so he could go back to his table. However, his enjoyment once again sunk when he spotted a random collage guy in his seat. Walking up to the table, Perry looked at Jordan for an explanation, setting her drink down next to one she already had.

"Mikey here went and got me a drink a little quicker so I'm going to sit with him." Jordan smiled wickedly at her partner. "How about you go and mingle Per?" She laughed at the thought of Perry being social before turning back to her new friend.

Defeated, Perry went to the bar and took up one of the stools. He drank his scotch, making sure not to make eye contact with JD or Jordan. He felt a presence beside him, knowing from the scent of his cologne and natural musk who it was. The scent he knew all too well, bringing up the feelings he couldn't kill.

"So help me god if you don't leave right now I'm going to lose it."

JD didn't sit down, instead he just simply whispered. "Meet me in the bathroom."

"I don't think so." Perry replied, actually turning to look at JD when he said it, hoping this action got his point across. "Not now."

"Then when?" JD moved closer. So close to his ear, that Perry could smell the apples on JD's breath as he spoke softly. "Please, come on Perry. It's fate that we're both here tonight. I just want to kiss you right here. I'm tipsy enough that I just might"

Swallowing his anger in order to prevent himself from smacking sense into JD, Perry growled. "Jordan is right over there. Do not do this now JD. Just leave this alone."

"You have to pee sometime." JD grinned, brushing Perry's thigh ever so slowly and gently with his fingertips.

Perry tried to control his composure and not let JD know how that one single action sent a flurry of jolts through his system. It didn't matter, because by the look on his face JD could see right through him. Giving a wink, JD continued sipping his appletini and slinked away.

Perry spent the next hour alone. The last fifteen minutes of that was spent trying desperately hard not to pee. He knew he would have to get up and that the moment he did JD would pounce on the opportunity. Heck, it was taking every ounce of strength for him not to pin JD down on the pool table and take him right there. If he let his bladder win, they would meet up in the bathroom and both would not even try to resist.

Briefly glancing at Jordan's table, only to catch her showing off for his benefit, he shook his head. He hated that she was doing that. Jordan's flirtatious and teasing behaviour just made him more frustrated than ever. If he sat with her then JD would never have dared put the idea in his head. Unfortunately, there was nothing and no-one to distract him now that it was. Looking around he couldn't see JD or Turk anywhere and figured they must have left. Relieved and desperate for the toilet, Perry escaped to the men's room.

"What did I tell you?" JD waltzed in a few seconds after him.

"Please just go." Perry groaned and went into one of the stalls to avoid JD. "Remember what happened last time you tried to sneak a kiss in the bathroom."

JD stood outside waiting. "Come on, just one little kiss." He looked around making sure no-one was in the bathroom to hear it. "I've missed you. Been a little confused these last few days, but I choose you." Tapping on the stall, JD smiled. "I chose you, Perry because I know you need me."

Perry had no idea what JD meant, nor did he care. All that mattered was getting out without giving in. When Perry finished and opened his stall door, JD used the opportunity to slip in before he could exit. Without wasting a moment, a reasonably drunk JD kissed Perry's face. Due to Perry trying to avoid his lips he missed a few times before hitting his target.

"Jordan is right outside, not to mention Gandhi. Neither of which has any trouble walking in to a men's bathroom. JD, stop this right now." Perry told him sternly, gripping his shoulders, though the look on his face said he clearly wanted nothing more than to surrender.

"Or what?" JD asked, leaning closer. "You promised you wouldn't hurt me any more."

"You're right, but I won't hurt Jordan either." Perry could smell the apples again, feeling the motion in his boxers. "Don't make this harder than it already is. You know how out of control I get when I'm around you. I don't want to hurt you. Tomorrow, okay?"

JD moved even closer, tracing the waist of Perry's jeans. "Nobody has to know. Nobody will ever know. I promise."

Perry could feel the brushing against his bare skin. "Please, JD." He shuddered as he felt the hand smoothly slide to his lower back and rest there warmly.

"I've missed you." JD pulled Perry into a passionate and hungry kiss, which was returned straight away as Perry let go of his control.

Perry pinned JD to the stall wall, causing his shirt to ride up and reveal his body. The skin was that perfectly pale colour, all healed and soft as ever. Now with nothing holding him back, Perry smiled. "JD you drive me crazy. You're a manipulative one I'll give you that."

"Shut up and kiss me." JD said with his drunken bossy tone, continuing to make out with Perry.

"JD. JD. JD" Perry growled as he allowed his hands to venture inside JD's pants. He felt the cock against his fingertips before fisting it desperately.

"Perry. Perry. Perry." JD moaned as Perry favoured his goods with a skilful hand.

Their bodies pressed against each other, bumping the walls and the door of the stall. Making out so passionately and hungrily like they were going to devour each other. Oblivious to the fact that someone could hear them, yet excited at the prospect of being caught. Making up for the lost time and the time they would never have together. Perry's fist pumping JD's cock so rhythmically. Making the younger man quiver and grunt in pleasure as his thumb teased the dick head.

JD came with a force so hard, he nearly passed out. Perry held him up, stroking his face and making sure he was okay. They pressed their foreheads together, taking in each other's scents, eyes and the general feeling of such a moment. Wrapping his arms around JD, Perry pulled him right up to his body. They held each other, savouring the contact until they knew they had to let go. One last kiss was shared between them.

"I knew I'd end up with you." JD sighed into Perry's shoulder, relishing the rewards of his decision.

"We better go, they'll suspect something." Perry listened out for anyone. "I don't think anyone's there but just in case wait a few minutes before following me out." Perry opened the stall door slowly and slipped out only to be shocked when he realised they weren't alone after all.

"JD, come out of the stall." Turk said, still looking at Perry with a somewhat angry look on his face.

Knowing they'd been caught, JD nervously came out of the stall. Seeing his best friend staring at him with accusing eyes, JD's mind screamed. "Oh shit. How much did you hear?"

"I heard you moaning each other's names. I didn't want to know the rest but my imagination filled me in. Lucky no-one else caught you. By the way Dr Cox, Jordan is still out there waiting for you by herself. Don't worry I'm not going to tell her" Turk threw his arms up in the air in frustration. "I just can't believe this."

"I told you, we couldn't tell anyone." JD walked over to his best friend, touching his shoulder in compassion. "You know I wanted to."

"See JD it's not even about you not telling me." Turk explained, eyeing the reflections of the two lovers in the mirror. "It's not about you liking guys. It's not about any of that."

Feeling a little angry himself, JD shot back. "Then why don't you tell me what it is about then?"

Turk shook his head. "You just don't get it do you. Maybe you should take a look out by the pool table." He left the bathroom before JD could say anything more.

Perry's mind went black and his temprature rose back up. However, not in the way it had minutes before. "Shit. Holy shit!" Perry shouted, bashing the sink and gripping it until his knuckles turned white. Nothing was certain any more, which scared and angered Perry more than anything ever could. It was all JD's fault!

"He said he wouldn't tell Jordan. It's okay, baby." JD held Perry gently from behind, rubbing circles into his back. "It's going to be okay my Perry."

"Get off me!" Perry threw JD to the floor. "Gandhi is right. You don't fucking get it at all do you?"

"Perry, don't." JD cowered, closing his eyes and hoping Perry didn't hit him,

"You're not even worth it anymore JD." Perry replied in a tone so harsh it shot through JD's heart. "No more of this. Whatever you call our sick little get togethers, it's done. We are through."

A powerful shock came over JD. So powerful he could have sworn he died for a few seconds. "No, please don't say that." Tears came to JD's eyes as he stood up. "We just had such a good time. It doesn't have to end. Don't break us, please." In a last desperate attempt, JD fell onto Perry and brushed his lips against the older man's.

Perry roughly shoved him back. JD hit one of the sinks and cried out in pain. Too angry to feel even remotely guilty, Perry glared at him "Stay away from me. From now on, if I'm in a room you're nowhere near it."

The tears were falling down JD's face now. "Perry, please. Ouch my side. I swear I'll control it. Roof or nothing, okay just like we said. Don't go, please don't go." JD held his side, while stopping Perry walking out the door by grabbing him around the waist. "I love you."

"JD, GET OFF!" Perry snapped, unable to stop himself. He watched as his companion fell to the ground again, due to his violent hand. "You've ruined my life!" He dived on JD and held him down, punching whatever he could hit. "If you ever touch me again..." He stood up and aimed a few hard kicks at JD until some part of his conscience managed to stop him.

"Perry..." JD managed to choke out weakly, looking up with pleading eyes.

Bending down, Perry looked JD firmly in the eyes. "You're never to tell anyone of this, understand?" Walking out of the bathroom, Perry hoped that he could just go home.

JD managed to crawl to the wall of the bathroom and prop himself up. Reaching up and grabbing some paper hand towels, he wiped his eyes. A pointless task as more tears just kept coming anyway. His best friend was mad at him. The man he loved broke his promise before leaving for good. Searing pain was ripping through his body. Feeling lost, JD knew that he had no-one to turn to. He had never felt so alone.

The walls of the bathroom began to close around him. JD found himself unable to breathe. Crawling towards a stall, he began to hyperventilate as the reality gripped him. Realising that he had entered the stall where just minutes ago he and Perry were in a passionate embrace, JD threw up. As he grabbed some toilet paper in order to wipe his eyes and mouth, JD felt himself become groggy.

He heard someone enter the bathroom. Turning from his stall door, he hoped they wouldn't notice him. His eyes grew heavy to the point where he just couldn't keep them open anymore. Coughing and groaning, JD leaned his head on the toilet should the need to be sick arise again.

"JD? JD are you okay?" He could hear the person calling to him, but he couldn't see them.

JD managed to weakly swat the air in front of him, knowing that he looked a mess for whoever it was. The voice kept talking to him, but JD could only make out a little of what was being said. He felt an arm around his shoulders.

"It's okay. Come on."

JD didn't have the strength to protest. A part of him didn't really want to. Either the person was there to help him or kill him. He didn't care which one because in his low state he knew that either was a favourable option. Feeling himself being carried off, JD passed out and awaited whatever was to happen.

NOTE: Awwww. He made a decision, but things still didn't go his way. What will happen next? Only I know for now, but you'll know very soon. Thanks for the alerts/reviews/poll votes, they're all much appreciated. I mean, knowing that you like the story encourages me to keep writing it. *hands out tissues to emotional readers* until next time.