Chapter 9

JD woke up with a start. Bringing himself to a sitting position, he grabbed his head as a hangover kicked in. As he looked around he recognised his surroundings as the bedroom of his own apartment. JD lay back down due to his headache and tried to remember how he got home.

The bathroom at the bar, he remembered being in the stall, knocked down from a combination of a few drinks and Perry's outburst. He recalled being carried away before waking up briefly in a cab. Trying to remember who was with him, JD drew a blank. All he knew was that an arm remained wrapped around his shoulder. A warm and safe arm, making sure he was protected. He drew a blank again, only getting a vague picture of someone putting him in bed and taking his shoes off before slipping a blanket over him. Whoever it was had tried to hold his hand while he whimpered, but JD had sent them away so he could despair alone.

Before he could go through a list in his mind, JD's eyes opened wide at the realisation that he had work. Wondering what else could go wrong, JD let out a frustrated cry. Turning towards his clock to see just how late he was, he simultaneously tried thinking of an excuse. However, the glowing numbers had been covered up with a small post-it note. JD grabbed it and read in curiosity.

Got your shift covered so you could hang out at home. Feel better.

At reading the note, JD realised that whoever brought him home had spent the night. Seeing he was still fully clothed he deducted that no funny business went on. It was then that he noticed one of his dining chairs sitting next to his bed. Whoever it was must have been watching over him at some point while he slept. He didn't know whether to be grateful or freaked out at this.

His head and midsection throbbing, JD decided to get some tablets in order to think better. Slowly he made his way out of bed towards his kitchen and looked for any signs of who his "rescuer" had been. Noticing a sheet and pillow on the couch, JD knew they must have fallen asleep there after making sure he was alright.

After having some asprin and water, JD ran the mental list through his mind. Automatically his first thought was Perry; really his only thought was Perry. While the rational side of his brain knew that it probably wasn't, the emotional side hoped it was. JD allowed himself to drift into the possibility.

He fantasised about Perry having second thoughts and coming back to the bathroom to say that he had told Jordan everything. Both of them realising that they couldn't live without each other. For a moment, JD almost believed that it all happened. That Perry had come back and confessed that he loved him and always had. Reality soon kicked in, however.

Staring at the couch, tears came to JD's eyes. He sauntered back to his bedroom and flopped back down on his bed. Burying his head in his pillow, JD let his tears fall. His body pained sharply from bruises having been formed from the night before. The emotional agony was worse so JD almost felt grateful for the physical pain.

Glancing at the clock a little later, he saw it was lunchtime. His stomach growled to cement that fact. He was a little better from the asprin, but still wasn't up to moving around due to depression. JD felt drowsy and was beginning to drift off to sleep again.

However, he snapped to alert when he heard the front door of his apartment open. Confused, JD wondered who was in his house at this time. Turk, Carla and Elliot were the only ones with emergency keys. Everyone he knew was working that day. JD could hear humming coming from his living room, fearing the worst.

He knew that he could never fight off a robber in his condition, particularly if they had weapons. Taking the coward's way out, JD pretended to be asleep. Hoping that the intruder would leave without taking his cable box and wondering how life could possibly get any worse.

The humming got closer and louder. JD squeezed his eyes shut as he heard his bedroom door open. A pleasant aroma of freshly baked bread filled the room. A confused half smile came to JD's face and he almost considered getting up. However, he managed to convince himself to stay still and quiet.

"JD, I've brought you some lunch. Oh, I guess you're still asleep."

JD's heart skipped a beat when he recognised the voice immediately as Todd's. He opened his eyes a fraction, seeing the surgeon place a plate holding a nice sub sandwich on the bedside table and sit down on the dining chair still in the room. Todd unwrapped a meatball sub, making a hungry face before biting into it.

"You look cute when you sleep." Todd mumbled with his mouth half full, though JD understood every word. "You're starting to look better. Not as bummed as you were last night. Dude, how much did you have to drink?"

JD wanted to speak up, but didn't know what to say. The truth was that JD had simply ignored Todd since their date. It was the easy way out of the dilemma. Out of sight, out of mind while he tried to patch things up with Perry. Feeling a lump in his throat at the mistake, JD wanted to cry again.

"Seeing you upset made me mad. Hugging you in the cab made me happy though. We hadn't touched since our date. Actually I've barely seen you this week." Todd smiled at JD, taking a bite of his sandwich and swallowing. "I wanted to sleep with you. In the same bed, I mean. Though I have to admit, doing you crossed my mind; especially when you were getting a little handsy."

JD managed to weakly roll over so that he faced the ceiling. Another sweet moment ruined by sexual innuendo, he thought to himself. Then he heard Todd sigh and want to continue. JD gave him the benefit of listening to the rest.

"I wouldn't do that to you drunk though. I respect you too much…The Todd likes you too much. Plus you told me to get out. I understand, you didn't want to be seen all upset." Todd continued. He ran his hand through his hair, letting his guard down. "Even right now, I just want to touch you. Hold you for awhile or something, but you're asleep and I know you wanted to think about things. It's better when you're awake, then you can hold me back."

JD turned back to Todd slightly. He could hear the other man chewing away on his lunch. Still feeling Todd's eyes watching him, JD wondered how long he was going to stay. He wasn't quite sure whether he wanted the other man to leave or not, his mind was torn.

"I guess I'll be going now. I'll leave your lunch there in case you wake up." Todd said, seeming a little sad as he said it. "Oh yeah, I left your keys on the kitchen table. I took them by accident this morning."

JD felt his arm tingle. Opening his eyes a fraction once again, he could see Todd had moved to a kneeling position beside the bed. His hand was mere inches from JD's body. JD noticed the look in Todd's eyes. The surgeon wanted to touch him, stroke him, hold him but his growing respect and love wouldn't let him.

"If I can't touch you, maybe I can just air fondle you for a bit." Todd shut his eyes, allowing his hand to pass through the air above JD's arm.

JD could feel the energy and heat spreading throughout his body. His breathing became a little quivery as Todd's hands were so close; driving him nuts yet not touching him at all. JD didn't even have to see them to feel where they were. Down his arms, trailing across his thighs, over his knees to his feet. Then the buzz of feelings brought all the way back up, causing his butt to tingle like crazy as a hand appeared to linger there a little longer. A soft, shaky sigh escaped his mouth as he knew Todd was passing over his back. JD managed to control himself as Todd ventured to the region of his neck. It was insane the amount he wanted to be touched.

"Okay, I want to kiss you right now. I really, really want to kiss you." Todd cried out, standing up with his hands on his hips, letting out a frustrated groan. "Maybe one little kiss? No I better go. I may come over later, just to check up on you. Maybe then you'll be awake."

JD debated about whether or not to stop Todd and reveal that he had been awake the whole time. Deciding against it, he waited until Todd left. He let the rushes of warm tingles calm down before grabbing the sandwich from the bedside table. Looking at it, he saw that it was corned beef. A smile formed on his face.

Biting the sandwich quickly and gratefully, JD fantasised about Todd. He knew he couldn't go back and fix their date and not choose Perry but it didn't change the fact that Todd was in his mind again. Though at the same time JD couldn't help but feel that he didn't deserve Todd's kindness. The man liked him and he ignored it for his own selfish game; all because Perry was with him first.

Looking at the last of the sandwich Todd had brought him, JD put it aside. "You deserve so much better then me."

By the evening, JD had moved from his bed to the couch. The sheet which he knew Todd had slept in being held in his arms. He stroked it, smelling it to catch the scent of the man who had been so wonderful to him. It also helped to wipe away a few excess tears that had been falling down his cheeks.

With nothing to keep him occupied, all JD could do was think. He constantly went over everything, trying to make sense of it all and ultimately depressing himself. Unable to hold any more emotion in, JD let out a huge wail. He curled up on the couch, hugging his knees. Bucket loads of tears spilled from his eyes. His breathing became erratic as he sobbed and panicked. Pain shot through his abused body.

He didn't even hear it when the door opened and someone entered his apartment. All he felt was the gentle hand on his arm. Then a face came into view and Todd's voice spoke to him for the second time that day.

"JD! Your door was unlocked. Is everything okay?" His eyes showed concern and curiosity while the fact he was still in hospital attire indicated he came straight from work. "I had to come back."

JD turned away, not wanting to look into his eyes. "Just a really bad day okay, please leave me alone."

Todd sat down on the floor beside the couch, unable to leave JD alone again. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Just go Todd, please." The last thing JD needed was more guilt as well as the hurt hanging over his head. He hopped up from the couch and made his way to his bedroom, weakly slipping into bed.

"The Todd thinks he'll stay." Todd came in and lay down beside him. Soothingly he rubbed JD's shoulders, shutting his eyes at the thrill of actually touching him again.

"Let go of me. I don't deserve it." JD tried to wriggle away.

"I'm not going anywhere until you feel better. Besides, The Todd got lonely when you wanted to be alone last night." Todd pulled JD to face him, his arms wrapping around the other man protectively. It was hard not to notice the pain on JD's face when he did so. "Did I hurt you? Sorry the guns don't know their own strength. They had a good workout this morning."

"No, it's okay. I'll be okay." JD shut his eyes as Todd stroked his head. Returning Todd's hug, JD cried openly into his chest. He let out every emotion that resulted from this bizarre love triangle.

"I hate seeing you like this." Todd felt water prick the corners of his own eyes, indicating just how much he hated it. Only at very rare moments did Todd let such vulnerability show. "I care about you. Even if you are doinking someone else."

JD wiped his face on the green scrubs before meeting Todd's magnetic brown eyes. "Todd, why do you like me? Why would you want me? After taking you for granted and all the crap I've put you through. Plus I'm a mess. I don't deserve you."

"Yeah you are a mess right now." Todd put a finger to JD's lips, hushing him before he could voice his offence at Todd's bluntness. "But that doesn't matter because I like you. Every part of you. It's not even about doing you, though that would be awesome, it's about just being near you. I love looking at you. I love spending time with you…I love kissing you."

Todd moved closer, shutting his eyes in preparation. JD felt the chunks rise up in his throat. As much as he wanted to give in, JD didn't feel right about it. He was too down on himself, feeling too low to accept such affection. Turning his head, he felt Todd's kiss land on his cheek.

"Why did you turn away?" Todd whispered feeling a little rejected.

"I have to be honest." JD made himself look at Todd's face. "Todd, when you found me at the bar I was screwed up." He gulped as the night replayed in his mind. "The truth is I broke up with that person I've been with for the last few months. Actually they kind of broke it off with me."

Todd traced a finger down JD's cheek. "What an idiot. Did they even know what they were giving up?"

Smiling briefly at the compliment, JD shrugged before continuing. "My feelings for you, they kind of scare me." He let a sigh escape his mouth. "Maybe it's just my sabotaging brain at work but for all the years I've known you, well basically you've been kind of an arrogant, hyper-sexual jock. No offence." JD bit his lip at his own bluntness, wishing he hadn't said anything. Suddenly honesty didn't seem like a wise move.

Luckily, Todd wasn't one to be easily offended. "None taken." He replied and held up his hand in a high five position, trying to ease the other man. "Don't be scared five."

JD raised his hand up, feeling that he should, slapping Todd's palm in a promise. When their hands met, they kept their palms pressed together until the two sets of fingers interlaced.

"I can't hurt you. I just need some more time."

"Dude, how could you hurt me?" Todd appeared a little stunned by the statement.

JD sighed, playing with Todd's fingers. "I guess I'm just asking if we could just cool it for awhile. I know it's a lot to ask but I can't have my heart broken like that again. I don't want to screw things up with you. Let's just be friends for a bit, okay?"

"Sure. The Todd will take good care of what's in there." Todd motioned to JD's chest. "Since there's no kissing to be had, how about I order some pizza?"

"I'm not that hungry." JD told him, which was true. Apart from the sandwich Todd had brought earlier, he had not been able to eat a thing.

Seeming a little frustrated that he didn't have the answer, Todd finally decided to ask the question. "What can I do to make you feel better?"

"Just hold me." JD pulled his source of comfort slightly closer, feeling a little too needy. Despite everything he didn't want Todd to leave. "I just can't be alone tonight."

Todd complied and just kept his arms around the troubled doctor. He still kept fighting off his natural urges to ask more questions and take things a step further. But Todd knew that he had to be careful. The last thing he wanted was for JD to cut off such an intimate moment. He nuzzled the top of JD's head, squeezing his desire tighter as the smell of sweet shampoo filled him.

"Ouch ouch." JD cried out, pulling away and grabbing his side.

"JD, what happened?" Without even waiting for permission, Todd lifted JD's shirt to reveal his body. Seeing the bruises, he couldn't help but feel taken aback.

JD pulled his shirt down and turned away. He wanted to lie but trying to force the words out of his mouth was a pointless task. He couldn't lie to Todd, it had become impossible. Instead he just stared at the wall, feeling vulnerable.

Todd's face flashed anger. "Dude, those aren't just sex bruises. If someone's been hurting you The Todd will take care of them. I will make them look very silly."

"No Todd, don't. Leave it okay."

"Nobody disses you like that." Todd sat up, looking prepared for a fight. He touched JD's arm. "How can you let them get away with that?"

Turning back JD grabbed Todd's muscular bicep. "It's over now. Completely over." At saying the word over, JD choked up again.

Todd's main concern was back on the person beside him. The urge to punch was instantly replaced with the instinct to comfort. "Hey hey hey, don't be sad."

Tracing the tattoo on Todd's arm, JD stared into his eyes. "You really care about me don't you? I'm sorry I led you on and I'm sorry it's taken me this long to see how great and amazing you are. I'm so sorry, Todd."

"Dude there's no need to apologize. Just come here." Todd ran a hand into JD's hair, pulling him back into a warm, gentle embrace. He was extra careful not to press too hard on JD's injuries. "You feel so good."

JD felt cared for and protected. Resting his head on Todd's shoulder, he snuggled up closer to the warmth. He was glad to experience something other than hurt, at least something that dulled it that little bit. It was reassuring to know that someone was still on his side.

For a while the two continued to lie on JD's bed, caressing each other. No words were said, although a thousand thoughts were running through each man's head. Todd tilted JD's face up, making their eyes meet again. He smiled, hoping he could get JD feel better. However, the action filled the upset man with a rush of emotions, causing him to hide his face once more.

"It hurts so much." JD whispered into Todd's chest. "Why am I such shit?"

"You're not. Don't say that." Todd couldn't believe JD was hurting so bad and acting in such a way.

"I am. I'm pathetic and everything I touch just turns to crap." JD continued with his quiet tone and shut his eyes, wanting to lose himself. "I can never let myself be happy. I always end up getting hurt somehow. I must be a masochist or something."

"I have no idea what that is, but I'm sure it's not true." Todd felt bad knowing that he couldn't kiss it better like he wanted to do more than anything. "If it helps, you know The Todd will never hurt you."

JD didn't know if that comment made him feel better or guiltier than ever. Still he replied "I know."

Todd snuck a hand up JD's shirt ot feel the bare skin on his back."Would you like a back rub?" He whispered in JD's ear. "The Todd is famous for them."

"Actually I'm really tired." JD mumbled, trying to open his eyes but not able to do so. "You feel so warm."

Todd let out a happy sigh as JD rested against him. Soon enough JD's sniffles stopped and his breathing evened out with sleep. Todd figured he should go and let JD rest, but the slightest movement caused JD to grab his scrubs tightly so he couldn't go anywhere. Todd couldn't help but smile. It wasn't making out, but it was something.

Seeing a sheet within arms reach, Todd grabbed it and covered him and JD with it. He shut his eyes and savoured the moment, before falling asleep curled up with JD in his arms.

NOTE: Nice lot of comfort after that last chapter. So cute even if it's sorta angsty :-) Anyways, thanks for all your support. The next chapter will be up ASAP. In the meantime, hope this mushy stuff coaxes a chorus of "Awww's" hehe. Enjoy! And review because I like reviews LOL. Oh and I think I'll close the poll after chapter 10, if you haven't put your vote in or are waiting for the results.