Wrightweiler was very accommodating, as Alex knew he would be once he found out what was going on with Bobby. His examination was thorough and he expressed genuine concern, not only for Bobby's physical health but for his state of mind.

The doctor's level of concern for Bobby's knee and head injuries concerned Alex. As much as Bobby had downplayed the severity of both injuries, Wrightweiler insisted they were serious. He gave strict instructions for him to stay off his knee and rest as much as possible. She was not surprised when Bobby balked at the orders, insisting that the doctor had cleared him for desk work. They reached a compromise when she promised to bring work home for him. The deal was sealed when the doctor pointed out that he would be able to spend more time with his children. Alex was impressed with the doctor's negotiating skills; he knew Bobby better than she thought he did.

Wrightweiler also insisted that Bobby use a cane when he walked, since crutches were unmanageable with his arm in a cast and he would not even consider the use of a wheelchair. The cane was the most he would consent to, and that was under protest.

After the appointment was over, they returned to the car. Alex stopped to fill the prescriptions Wrightweiler had handed to her while Bobby remained in the car. When they got home, she dropped him off in front of the apartment. "Go inside and stay put, for God's sake," she told him. "I'll be back later."

He looked at her, frowning. "Where are you going?"

"Well, I'm not going to Syracuse. Just go inside."

He got out of the car without further comment and slammed the door. She watched him until he was in the building, then she drove off.

Mike was seated in the recliner with Tommy in his lap, reading to him and Maggie. He looked up when the door opened. Tommy jumped off his lap. "Dada!"

He hit his father's leg at full speed and Bobby staggered back a few steps into the closed door. "Hey, buddy," he said quietly.

Maggie watched him from the couch, where she sat with her injured leg up on a pillow and her favorite blanket wrapped around her. "Daddy?"

He looked toward her as Tommy trotted off to the toy box on the far side of the room. Maggie leaned forward to pat the couch by her leg. "Come sit with me. Where's Mommy?"

"She had something to do," he answered as he limped slowly across the room and dropped onto the couch by his daughter.

Maggie moved her blanket and swung herself around to climb into his lap. He helped her, gathering her close and wrapping his arms around her. She asked, "When do I hafta go to the doctor about my leg?"

"Tomorrow."

"Will you come with me?"

"Of course."

She rubbed his arm, then noticed the sutures. She sat up a little straighter so she could lean over to look at it. "When did you get this?" she asked.

Tommy came over to see what Daddy had. When he saw the injury, he frowned. "Gamma do't."

Bobby's eyes slid closed. Gramma was now responsible for all the bad things in Tommy's mind, and he had no idea how he could ever erase that. He knew that time had not erased it from his mind. Opening his eyes, he looked at the toddler who ran a gentle hand over the wound in his arm. "No, Tom. Gramma didn't do that."

"Did the tree do it, Daddy?" Maggie asked.

She didn't blame him for hitting the tree. She blamed the tree for hitting them. "Yes, I got it in the accident."

"Lunchtime," Mike announced.

Tom ran to him right away, and Mike set him in his high chair. Then he returned to the couch and put his arms out to Maggie. Reluctantly, she let him lift her from Bobby's lap and carry her to the table. Once she was comfortable, he set a plate of spaghetti in front of each of them. Then he grabbed a glass from the counter and went back to the living room, tossing a prescription bottle at Bobby as he approached the couch. "You look like you need these."

Bobby caught the bottle against his chest and took the glass. "Thanks."

Mike sat beside him, keeping his voice low when he spoke. "So, what happened? Did Alex blow up about Denise?"

"She didn't blow up about anything. She's simmering."

"That'll still burn you."

"You think I don't know that? I have no idea where I am with her right now, and she's not talking to me. One minute she seems worried, the next, she looks like she wants to shoot me. She keeps running hot and cold and it's driving me nuts."

"Maybe that's the point, to keep you from reading her, from being reassured. You scared the hell out of her. Now she's going to punish you for it."

"I imagine she was worried."

Mike barked out a short laugh. "Worried? Call that the understatement of the year. She called me at two in the morning. She hadn't heard from you since you left for Carmel Ridge, and the folks out there said you left at eight. Carolyn and I came over right away, so we were here when you called. The only thing she said before she told me to get my coat was 'I am going to kill him.' I have no idea what she said to Carolyn. That wasn't meant for my ears. But the longer we drove, the madder she got. Buddy, she was talking to herself. I know she wasn't talking to me, because the one time I answered her, she told me to shut up. I thought it was in my best interest to listen."

"I'm sorry you got dragged into this."

"Hey, I'm not in it as deep as you this time. I'm on the outside looking in and it's a better place to be. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No. She has to decide what it is she wants. I have no idea. At least she let me back in the apartment."

"Did she let you back in the bedroom?"

Bobby shook his head. "But that was my choice. I annoy her enough when I'm awake. She needs her sleep."

"She has a six week old kid. What sleep?"

Bobby let out a deep sigh. "Yeah...that's just something else for her to resent. I...slept through Molly's cries last night. I usually get up so she won't have to. I've been falling down on the job the past few days. She's going back to work, so I've got to take care of Molly."

Mike looked at Bobby's knee and then at the cane. "I want to see that trick."

"How do I keep fucking things up like this?"

"It's a gift."

Bobby held his cane and spun it in his hands. "I thought..." He trailed off. "I thought wrong."

"You do that a lot, but what did you think wrong this time?"

Idly, Bobby watched the cane twirl in his fingers, matching the spinning in his head. When it spun out of his grasp, it mimicked his life, spinning beyond his control yet again. "I thought...if I had her...I would finally be happy...but...everything is falling apart...and I can't stop it. I don't know what to do."

Mike was surprised. "You think this isn't fixable?"

"I don't know what I think any more."

Mike felt a surge of panic. "Bobby, look. You aren't really in a place where you should make any decisions. I wouldn't trust you to pick out a movie right now. Your mom just died and you got messed up in an accident. You're an emotional wreck. You're upset because Alex is pissed and that doesn't help matters any at all. I'd take you to my place to give you a break, but I don't think that's the right move. You need to be here, and more than anything else, you need to talk to her, really talk, not the half-assed shit you usually do. If she wants to know something, fucking tell her. It's time to own up to your life, past and present, or the future is just gonna fall apart."

Bobby didn't look away from the cane where it had come to rest on the floor. "Suppose it's too late?"

That was a scenario Mike didn't want to consider, but apparently, Bobby felt the need to address it. Mike knew he wanted honesty; Bobby relied on him for that. "Then you think about your kids and you move on."

"Move on? I couldn't do that seven years ago. What makes you think I could do it now?"

"You couldn't do it because you wouldn't let yourself do it. You could never let her go, even when you should have. If the bottom falls out of your marriage, then it's finally time. You can't hold onto an illusion forever. If you can't do it for yourself, you do it for the kids. They've been the focus of your life. Keep them there."

"Unna My! Joos peez!"

Mike patted Bobby's knee. "Talk to her."

He got up and went to get Tommy a cup of juice. Talk to her. But suppose she didn't like what he had to say? He felt trapped with no way out, and it was beginning to smother him.

Alex drove around for awhile, thinking. She hated how she was feeling. One minute she was fine, the next, she was furious, and she knew Bobby was suffering for it. She also knew he was beating himself up over what had happened and he really didn't need any help from her.

Finding herself near headquarters, she called the squadroom and asked Carolyn to meet her at the diner a few blocks away for lunch. She had been seated long enough to get a cup of coffee when Carolyn arrived, and a fresh cup of coffee was at the place across from her. Carolyn smiled as she slid into the booth. "How are Maggie and Bobby today? What did Dr. Wrightweiler say?"

"Nothing good. Bobby's injuries are more serious than they thought they were in the emergency room. But he did give me the name of a doctor to take Maggie to, and I made an appointment for her tomorrow afternoon."

"Is she feeling all right?"

Alex nodded. "She feels fine. She wanted to go to school this morning."

Carolyn studied her friend with an eye that read people well. "You're still angry."

"Yes. I try not to take it out on him, but I'm afraid I just make it worse when I don't talk to him."

"He can read your anger. You know that. He knows you haven't forgiven him." The waitress showed up to take their order. Once she was gone, Carolyn took a sip of hot coffee and said, "You need to think hard about what you're doing. Mike said something yesterday and I think he was right on the money."

"Mike is always on his side."

"Alex, you should be on his side. Mike said the last thing Bobby needs right now is for you to be a hardass with him. Think about it. His mother attacked the kids, and he feels guilty about that because he feels he let it happen. Then, she died. That had to have hit him very hard. So he shut down, got distracted, whatever and ended up outside Syracuse. He should have called you. You know that and he does, too, but under duress, we don't always do the things we should. On top of everything else, Maggie was hurt when he wrecked his car. That's got to be especially hard for him. And consider the amount of pain he's in. The way you treat him now is going to make or break him. Do you really want to break him?"

"No. Of course not. But I won't let him off easy."

"How do you figure he's got it easy? Do you honestly think that anything you say or do is going to be any worse than the beating he's giving himself?"

Their meals arrived and they waited for the waitress to leave again. Alex drew in a deep breath. "He brings it on himself."

"In many ways, yes, he does. And he always regrets it."

"Exactly. He never learns."

"Do you think he intended for any of this to happen?"

"Of course not."

Carolyn leaned forward. "Alex, you have to forgive him and let this go. You have to let him know that you still love him because he's going to be doubting that now."

Alex closed her eyes. Let go...that wasn't easy to do. Forcing her eyes open, she looked at her friend. "What do you suggest I do about Denise?"

"Not a thing. Leave him alone about her. Show him that you trust him that much. Do you honestly think he would ever be unfaithful to you?"

"No."

"All right, then. Trust him to manage his friendship with her. He's not going to jeopardize his marriage. If he was sneaking around with her, do you think for a moment he would have the kids along? Give him some credit. He waited a long time for you. If he wanted her, then he wouldn't be with you now. Alex, don't drive him away. There are no winners in that scenario."

"Do you think I could drive him away?"

"I think there is only so much he can handle. Don't test his limits."

Alex took her advice to heart and when she left the diner, she went home.

When she entered the apartment, she was surprised not to hear a greeting of any sort. The lights were dimmed, and she could make out Bobby, sleeping on the couch. Then she heard voices drifting down the hall. She found Mike sitting on the floor in Tommy's room with Maggie on his lap. Tommy sat halfway across the room and they were playing catch with an orange foam ball about the size of a grapefruit. Every time Maggie threw the ball and it bounced off Tommy's head or his face, they would both giggle.

Tommy noticed her first, scrambling to his feet and hurtling himself across the room into her arms. "Mama!" After hugging her, he leaned back and put his hand over his mouth. "Shhh. Dada seep."

"I saw him." She looked at Maggie. "How do you feel, Maggie?"

"I'm good, Mommy."

Mike kissed Maggie's head and said, "Stay here and play with Tom. I have to talk to Mommy."

"Okay, Uncle Mike."

He set her gently on the floor as Alex put Tommy down. He scrambled back to the ball and sat down to continue the game with Maggie.

Mike stepped into the hall with Alex and they walked to the living room. "Alex, you have to do something about Bobby. He's not doing well at all. He thinks he really blew it this time, and he's expecting you to toss him out." He leaned against the wall. "He's used to things in his life not working out, and that's where he thinks you're headed. So if you want to save your marriage, you'd better set this right."

She frowned. "I am not the one in the wrong here, Logan."

"Right or wrong, what does it matter? Do you want to lose him?"

Irritation overwhelmed her. "Why? Is he talking about going back to Denise?"

Mike ran a hand over his hair and groaned in frustration. "No. He's not. He's looking for any indication that you want him to stick around and he can't find one. Talk to him. You're either going to work it out or you're going to lose him. The ball's in your court now. He's done fighting."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean he'll do whatever you want him to do. If you want him to leave, then he'll go. It's all about you, Alex. Just like it's always been."

He started back down the hall but she grabbed his arm. "What the hell does that mean?"

He looked at her, anger sharp in his eyes. "It means just what I said. It's all about you. It's always been all about you. The guy lives and dies by your command. Give him a break. His world revolves around you and those kids. Don't destroy it."

He pulled away from her and continued down the hall. "Mike."

He stopped but didn't turn. "What?"

"What did he tell you?"

"He's afraid, Alex. He doesn't know how to fix it, and I'm afraid he's giving up. You have to make this right or everything's over. He doesn't have much left to give."

"Would you please stay? Keep Maggie and Tom in there so I can talk to him."

"Yeah, sure."

"How long has he been sleeping?"

"A couple of hours. I gave him his medicine while the kids had lunch and he was asleep by the time they were done. They were disappointed, but Maggie seems to understand he needs to rest."

"Maggie always understands him. I wish I did."

"You do, when you let yourself."

She watched him turn into Tom's room and she listened to the happy laughter that spilled into the hall. She turned back to the living room, watching the sleeping form of her husband on the couch. She wondered how everything had gotten turned around, making her the one in the wrong. She didn't like that one bit. She crossed the room and sat on the edge of the couch, watching Bobby sleep. Reaching out, she combed her fingers through his hair, and he stirred.

It took a few minutes for him to fully rouse himself. Blinking hard, he struggled to clear his mind. "Alex? When did you get home?"

"About fifteen minutes ago. I had lunch with Carolyn."

"Oh." He looked around. "Where's Mike?"

"He's playing with the kids in Tom's room. I need to talk to you."

He forced himself to sit up, which moved him away from her. He scrubbed his left hand over his face, chasing away the last vestiges of sleep from his mind. The pain that radiated sharply from his knee and hip helped to chase away the rest of the fog. "I, uhm, I need to go to the funeral home in the morning. I...I'll just take the train...but I'll be back...for Maggie's appointment..."

He planned to deal with his mother's funeral arrangements, with her death, on his own, as he always did with everything that concerned her. He had always told her that his mother was his responsibility, and his alone, to bear. It had never been a burden he was willing to share, with her or anyone else, not even his brother, had Frank ever been willing to be involved. Unable to drive, he never thought to ask for her help. He was going to manage it alone.

She should have been angry, but her anger was spent and she didn't have it in her to summon more. She had taken out the bulk of her rage on him, and she wasn't sure he'd weathered the storm very well. If she believed Mike, which she was inclined to do, Bobby's ship had wrecked in the storm. She wanted to reach out and comfort him, which was something he desperately needed, but suddenly, everything came crashing down on her. She covered her mouth with her hand and turned away from him.

He watched her until he saw her shoulders shake and she stifled a sob. Reaching out, he touched her tentatively. She turned suddenly and fell against him. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her as she cried, and he had no idea what to make of it. He felt lost, floundering alone at sea with no land in sight and no way to know which direction to go in order to find it.

A/N: Up next--the talk which has been so long in coming. Everything will come out once and for all, and it's going to save or shatter this relationship.