Chapter 15

The hospital picnic was happening down at the local park. All the usual food tables and tents were set up near a big Sacred Heart banner. Various doctors and their families were standing around talking, or sitting on their blankets. Over-enthusiastic as always, Elliot had insisted on decorating to make things sparkle that extra little bit.

Kim had never really cared much for the hospital picnic but having missed Sacred Heart's shindig for the past two years, she suddenly felt nostalgic as she watched from a distance. Pushing Sam in a stroller, she walked over to Elliot who was fixing up a loose streamer on one of the tents.

"Omigod Kim! How are you?" Elliot stopped what she was doing and became engrossed in the conversation already. "I haven't seen you since before you went away. So, how was England?"

"Cold, but a good experience nonetheless." Seeing that Elliot clearly wanted to hold Sam Kim took him from the stroller and handed him over. "There you go."

Elliot developed the tears in her eyes that always formed around baby related matters as she cuddled Sam to her. Snapping back to the moment, Elliot turned her attention to Kim again. "Where's JD?"

"He and Todd were coming down in his car. They should be here pretty soon." Finally near someone she could trust with her secret fears, Kim led Elliot away from people who could potentially hear them. "Look about JD and Todd-"

'Aren't they cute together?" Elliot gushed, before turning serious again. "I know I was weirded out at first too. I mean, JD was my fall back guy if I didn't get married by the time I'm forty kind of deal and now he's boning a guy. Not to mention Todd, I mean he's this surprising romantic." Unable to hide her envy and depression at being single, she sighed. "I should have accepted The Todd's offers when I had the chance."

"Okay, Elliot how long has it been?" Kim snapped her fingers, trying to get her friend's focus back. "Besides, I'm not really sure but I think they had sex in my house last night."

As though she felt her presence was needed, Carla joined the chatting blondes. "Kim I know in your experience The Todd can be annoying, a pig and frankly kind of creepy but since he's been with JD he's really changed. Believe me I used to think he was the last guy to be good with kids but I even let him and JD watch Izzy one time."

Kim's look sported slightly more hope. "Really?"

"They took Sam and Izzy to see Spongebob Squarepants at the mall, which to be honest probably excited JD more than the kids." Carla explained.

"JD fixed The Todd?" Kim looked at them in disbelief, remembering that it was guys like Todd that made her wear a wedding ring despite being divorced.

"Surprisingly, yeah. As much as to be expected without therapy. The tone down in sexual innuendo has definitely been noticeable. Most of it is directed at JD but since they're a couple that's probably okay." Elliot explained, before turning her attention back to Sam.

"The other day he actually asked me how to prove to JD it wasn't just about sex. He had this cute little sad look on his face. It was so unbelievable and sweet I almost cried." Carla gave Kim a reassuring pat on the arm. "Don't worry about it. They're good together and more importantly they're very good with Sam. He's not going to be wearing banana hammocks and leather pants."

"I guess you're right. It's just something really threw me off." Kim explained, taking back her son from Elliot. "It's weird to think of The Todd as such a huge part of Sam's life."

"I'm sure it's not that big a deal. Oh look he's going into a fantasy moment just like JD." Elliot pointed out the child's way of raising his head when he daydreamed. "That's so cute. I wonder what he's thinking."

"Yeah, well he picked up another habit too. Elliot, raise your hand." Kim held her son out towards the other blonde, watching as Sam high-fived Elliot.

"Baby five!" Todd observed as he and JD appeared beside the three women, having just arrived at the picnic. "That is the coolest thing in the world."

"Where have you guys been, you left an hour before I did." Kim covered up the fact that she had been discussing them before their arrival.

"McDonalds!" JD cried out the moment Kim finished her sentence. "It was finger lickin' good."

Carla sighed at the obvious lie. "JD that's KFC."

"I stand by my original story." JD replied, squeezing Todd's hand and silently begging him not to say anything, even though it was clear to everyone what had really gone on.

Spotting his son, JD grabbed Sam, making a bunch of funny noises to cheer him. He motioned to a blanket near the shade. "We're just set up over there. Mind if we take Sammy for a while?"

"Go ahead." Kim replied, sighing as she watched them walk away. Turning to Elliot and Carla in desperate need of reassurance, she asked "Seriously, should I be worried?"

Carla nodded towards the men and child. "See for yourself."

Watching Todd and JD playing with Sam on their blanket calmed her inside. A small smile formed as she realised that Carla and Elliot were right. She didn't have anything to worry about. In fact one look at them almost made her want to gush like Elliot had. With one last look at the happy couple and her son, Kim was able to relax.

However, at the sight of the couple, one man was unable to enjoy himself. Perry was busy trying to calm a hyperactive Jack. He chased the kid around, catching him and his breath at the same time. Every now and then his eyes would drift back to JD and Todd. Perry thought he was being discreet, but clearly his actions had been noticed.

"Daddy, why are you staring at JD the idiot?" Jack asked, curiosity lighting up in his eyes.

"Never mind Jack-o. Just leave them be."

Of course, in the energetic mood Jack was in he was in no position to obey. The excited child ran over to JD and Todd's blanket, despite his father's protests. Perry cringed at having to walk over there; at having to see them up close.

JD spotted this almost immediately, trying to calm the awkwardness in his stomach. Plastering on a fake smile, he watched Jack approach. "Hey there Jack."

Jack nodded, a cheeky grin on his face. "Sam has two mommies."

JD forced a laugh as he noticed Perry coming towards them. "Lovely."

"Dude, Kim's a lesbian?" Todd turned to JD with confusion and extreme wonder.

Perry butted in, now being in earshot. "No dumbass, he is referring to the girl that you now share a bed with on a regular basis." Bending down towards Sam, who was using JD's knee to help himself stand, Perry looked at the tot. "My advice to you Sam is run! Run as fast as you can!"

Jack laughed and mimicked his father's actions, leaning down towards the younger child. Clearly uncomfortable with Jack in his face, Sam raised his tiny palm and hit Jack on the nose. This was of course met by a roar of approval from Todd as he stopped the unbalanced Sam from falling off his feet. Barely noticing their children, Perry and JD stared at each other with looks that could melt steel.

"Dude, Sam gave Cox junior a face five." Todd's voice snapped the former lovers out of their stare down.

"The tables have turned, haven't they Perry?" JD shot towards the older doctor with an amount of malice that no-one would ever expect from him. He picked up his son and cuddled up to Todd as he watched Perry and Jack leave.

After an hour of mingling, JD needed to get away from the crowds and festvities. He decided to walk around the park for a while by himself. Todd had tried to go with him, but JD knew he had to be alone. Breathing the fresh air, he tried his best to clear his head.

He wasn't sure why it bugged him so much that he and Perry were now so bitter towards each other. Over the years Perry had always been a jackass to him. Why it was so different this time, he couldn't fathom or at least didn't want to admit it. He was, however, secretly impressed with his ability to shoot Perry down, even if it made him feel slightly guilty afterwards.

JD's mind was a blur with all the changes that had taken place. In just a few months his life was completely upside down to what it used to be. It was a time he desperately needed to catch himself, sit down and do nothing.

Unfortunately the moment he tried to sit down on a patch of grass, JD was alerted to the fact that he was no longer alone. First he felt the eyes on his back. Then he heard the footsteps close behind him. The feeling in his gut told him that it wasn't Todd, even though he hoped it was.

"We need to talk." Perry's voice confirmed his suspicions.

JD cursed the ground, hesitating before turning to Perry. "About what? How you insult my parenting? Or when you called my boyfriend a dumbass? How about the fact that you would do anything to make sure I'm as miserable as you?"

"Actually no, JD. More about why we're so sour towards each other that we may as well break out the tequila and salt." Perry walked closer to him, only to have JD step back.

"There is nothing more to talk about Perry. Besides, aren't you worried Jordan will spot us together?" JD disappeared into the group of trees, hoping that Perry wouldn't step of the path.

No such luck, Perry followed JD so that they were mostly hidden from view of other park goers. "You know Jordan wouldn't come to these things unless they offered free botox and human souls. Her and Jennifer Dylan are doing god knows what." He managed to catch up with JD quickly as the younger doctor had never been too athletic. "Come on JD, just listen to me."

He didn't know why he surrendered, but JD leaned against a tree and gave Perry the benefit. Sighing, he confessed what he been on his mind. "Okay, I don't want us to be so hateful with each other either. But that's the way it is. You made it this way."

"I know I did and look where it's got you." Perry touched his nose and folded his arms.

With that one statement, JD remembered why they were so discontent. "You're on a roll with the insults today Perry." A frustrated JD regretted trying to be cordial and wanted to leave, but not before all the emotion inside him began to pour out. "Is that honestly all you know? How to hurt people? You don't even know Todd, but I can tell you that he's a hundred thousand times the boyfriend that you ever were. He's not ashamed of me. Todd makes me feel wanted, instead of kicking the crap out of me."

Feeling guilty and unable to make any remarks when it came to the subject of abuse, Perry hung his head slightly. "I'm sorry JD, you know I am."

"Not you're not." JD shook his head in disbelief. "It's taken me this long to realise it but you're never sorry. You never cared about me. Now I've found someone that really does and I can't believe I let myself actually care what you think. If you want to try and screw with us that's fine, but you're wasting your time!" He began to walk away, more willing than ever to feel Todd's arms wrapped around him.

"Do you love him?" Perry cried out, causing the younger man to stop in his tracks.

"We've only been going out just over a month." JD turned back, shocked at the ludicrous question placed in front of him. "Then again, we were fooling around before you and I broke it off."

Hiding his anger at the reminder of this fact, Perry exaggerated his response. "That answer is a clear N-O no! No-ho-oh-ho-oh!" Turning serious again, Perry was suddenly in front of JD, gripping his shoulders. "Besides, you chose me over Todd in the first place."

"Yeah and what a stupid decision that was! Get off me." JD tried to struggle, but even he knew it was no use. Seeing Perry move his face closer, he tried even harder to get free. "I'm not going to screw things up with Todd."

Perry was too close. There was no turning back now. "Maybe this will change your mind."

Perry managed to plant his lips on JD's, kissing him desperately and holding onto the other man as he protested. He needed this kiss, craved it to the point of insanity. Opening JD's mouth with his own, letting his tongue explore, Perry realised just how much he missed the feeling. He tasted JD hungrily, pouring a mountain of passion into the kiss.

JD did not respond positively and managed to pull his head away. "Fuck you Perry."

At that moment, Perry did the most unexpected thing. But he knew it had to be done. "I love you."

It stopped JD in his struggle for freedom. The shock paralysed him and his eyes went wide. "What?"

The older man continued with a serious whisper. "I know you still love me."

"No, don't say that." JD felt tears coming to his eyes. Partly from disbelief at hearing the words and partly because they were the three words he'd wanted to hear from Perry for so long.

"I can't stand seeing you with Todd." Perry confessed.

"What did you expect? That I'd just hang around waiting for you to change?" JD tried to pull away, struggling against his former lover and abuser once again with little success. "What are you going to do Perry? Beat me up until I come back to you? Are you going to hit me because I've found someone who makes me happy?"

Perry steadied JD, clearly being the stronger of the two. He cupped JD's face, looking deep into the powerful eyes. He had to make sure JD understood.

"JD, I love you."

Perry seized the younger man's lips straight after. JD knew this was wrong and was squirming slightly, trying to fight it but clearly he was being worn down. Soon his cries turned into soft moans and he stopped attempting to get away. Perry's words had broken him. For a few moments, JD stood paralysed and let the older doctor kiss and control him until he slowly began returning Perry's affections.

One hand slid upwards and gripped Perry's curls, while the other wandered up and down the older man's back, eventually settling on the back of the neck. Perry pinned JD to a nearby tree, holding him tight for fear that he would leave. The two former lovers deepened their kiss to the point their bodies were going to explode, a feeling they hadn't experienced together since that night in the bar.

The self-sabotaging part of JD's mind urged him to keep going. This was what he'd been dreaming about for years after all. Every act of love with Perry flashed through his mind like a montage. A possible future if he just kept going.

However, Todd's face soon floated into his mind. Their first kiss, their first date, their first time. Todd and him together, Todd and Sam together. It was a firm reminder, alerting him to just how strong his feelings for Todd were developing. JD's inner voice cursed him for doing such a thing. His eyes opened, at knowing everything he could lose. With a burst of strength, JD pulled away while simultaneously pushing Perry off him. He gasped for air, feeling like he was being punched from the inside.

A few tears spilled at his betrayal; the broken promise to himself and to Todd. "Are you happy now? You've officially ruined my day and my relationship." JD felt sick, unable to look at Perry anymore. "I must have some real issues if I betray what could very well be the perfect guy for me, to come back to one who wants to destroy everything I care about."

"JD-"

"No! Perry, don't." JD hadn't felt so horrible since he'd been going out with Todd. He hated the shame returning and blamed Perry. The older man knew how to manipulate him too well and JD knew it. "Just stay away from me. We're through, so leave me alone."

Running as fast as he could, JD managed to get away. As far as he was concerned, the day couldn't possibly get any worse. He secretly hoped that meant it could get better if he just went back to the picnic and mingled; to cuddle with Todd until the last ten minutes of his life evaporated. Calming down as best he could and wiping his eyes he slowly but surely made his way back towards the Sacred Heart area.

He could see Todd in the distance, interacting with all their friends and co-workers. People seemed less awkward around him then they used to be, which was particularly surprising as he was one half of a gay couple. JD figured that it was probably because Todd wasn't hitting on everything that moved any more, which made him much easier to get along with. Todd looked so genuinely happy and laid back, not trying so hard anymore. JD couldn't help but see how much their relationship had subtly affected others.

A shot in the pit of his stomach made him feel queasy. JD couldn't bare their relationship being based on secrets and lies just as his and Perry's had been. He couldn't keep such a secret from someone who'd been so good to him, especially after Todd had confessed some of his own less than mucho secrets. To maintain such trust, JD figured he would to talk to Todd about his indiscretion, wondering how he could possibly beg for forgiveness. He owed his boyfriend that much.

However as he was planning what to say, JD was stopped in his tracks. He almost ran into the tall man who had blocked his path, but managed to stop himself.

"Hello Janitor, what do you want?"

"Just enjoying the food and fun." Janitor looked towards all their co-workers, slapping JD on the back. "Looking at your boyfriend over there. You know I had to kick him out of the Brain Trust when he got involved with you."

Not in the mood to be harassed anymore, JD tried to reassure his tormentor. "Don't worry, Todd didn't tell me anything that went on in your little gang."

"Yeah, I made sure of that." Janitor stated, gripping JD's shoulder tightly. "Still, I don't like you messing with my Brain Trust. Why would you do that? Why must you make me do ruin your life?"

"Just invite Todd back into your group or whatever." JD snapped as though it was the most obvious solution. He was sick of being blamed for everything. More than that he was just plain tired of the day.

"Nah, he drove me crazy. But you're going to pay for it." Janitor looked up at the sky and sighed before turning back to JD. "You think you'd have learned that by now." He walked backwards away from his prey, making the motions to imply that he was watching.

It was the straw that broke the camel's back. JD wasn't going to take any more crap from anybody. Marching towards the tents and Elliot's creative decorating scheme, JD's posture and walk became an angry and confident stride. No longer did he want to sabotage himself. No longer was his life going to be messed with. He took Janitor's interuption as a sign from fate not to mess with his good thing. No longer would he take the abuse and lose everything, but take control.

Walking right up to Todd, JD didn't listen to those around who were greeting him or asking where he'd disappeared to. He didn't care about them; he just needed to hang on to Todd. He wasn't going to lose this time.

"Todd, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me." JD stated the moment he was in front of his boyfriend. He made sure that at least one other person could hear him so the whole hospital would find out. "My life is so much better with you in it and frankly, I want to keep it that way because you make me so happy. My only wish is that I knew that you could be like this much sooner."

"Awesome." Noticing a look in JD's eyes, his face brimmed with confusion. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. I just need you."

Todd pulled his boyfriend into a hug, not suspecting that this impromtu burst of feelings was fuelled by a mistake. "You know The Todd feels the same way about you. Now how about I show you some love?"

Then for all the picnic to see, JD gave Todd the kiss to end all kisses. A kiss that sent a message to Perry, Janitor and anyone else uncomfortable with them together. People gushed, others gasped, while some just sat silently watching them. Neither JD nor Todd could hear or see their reactions and murmurs, nor did they care. As far as they were concerned nothing else existed outside of them at that moment. They were back in their own love bubble, wrapped in a kiss that set off fireworks in both of them.

Breaking from the kiss and just meeting Todd's eyes for a moment, JD smiled. He felt reassured that he was in the right place, with the right person. His day had once again picked up. Walking back to their blanket, he felt the overwhelming confidence washing over him. JD wrapped his arm around Todd in what could only be described as pure happiness. He was with Todd, nothing else mattered but that fact and no-one was going to take that away.

NOTE: Oh my! JD tempted fate and screwed up pretty badly :-o Damn those three powerful words from Perry. But it's okay as long as Todd doesn't know everyone is happy, right? It was just a little mistake, how bad can it be? Assume nothing, expect anything. Hope your enjoying the lovely little developments and I hope to see some lovely reviews :-)