Author's Note: I am soooooooo sorry for not updating in like forever!!!!!!!!!!!! I just got a computer that actually works so I will try to write more but I have a lot going on write now...like a portfolio due next month and I haven't even started my sixteen ACT/SAT prep hours for it! So here's another chapter of the ever requested Reality TV!
Reality TV
Ch. 5
"So...is the plan working?" Ino asked as she picked up the dead camera and knife from the ground.
"No way to know until they bang the door down wondering if we're still alive," Sakura put in.
"So...should the two of us go into the living room and start a cat fight? Or should you piss Sasori off and have a big break up?" Ino asked, slyly.
"I don't know...maybe the...wait a minute! We're not together! Dumbass," Sakura mumbled under her breath.
"You two should do the cat fight...more drama if two kunoichi's from the same village try to kill each other..." Hinata suggested. Everyone else nodded. The two girls walked in and sat on the couch.
"Oh! They're back!" Tsunade exclaimed.
"You know we've lost a camera now..." Konan pointed out.
"Yeah, so? We still can spy on them in other rooms!" Tsunade cheered. Konan shook her head, incredulously. That hokage did not know what that could mean...
"Hey, Saku-chan, what do you think of Deidara?" Ino asked.
"What do you mean?" Sakura asked, unsurely.
"Well...he is kind of hot..."
"Ino, you just tried to kill him."
"And I have an ant that plays the guitar! That doesn't mean anything!" (AN: that phrase means the same things as 'What does that have to do with the price of eggs in China?')
"It means everything, Ino! Besides...I like him. He's really good in bed," Sakura said.
"Take that back."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"N-O."
"Y-E-S."
"NO!"
"YES!"
"NO!"
"YESSSSSS!"
"Aghhhhh!"
Ino pounced on Sakura, bringing them both to the ground. Sakura soon lost her earrings. They both struggled for quite some time.
"So...um...I think we just lost two teammates..." Naruto stated, dumbified.
"Shut up, dobe. They won't kill each other."
"Do you remember the chuunin exams Sasuke-teme?!!?"
"Yes, and they didn't kill each other then either," Sasuke stated, simply.
"We should go in there and stop them before the acting gets a little too real..." Sasori stated as he and Deidara ran into the room. Deidara grabbed Ino by the waist and Sasori pulled Sakura, who was inconveniently on the bottom (but hot for Sasori and Deidara and all the guys that were watching on TV) out of Ino's fierce way.
"I'LL KILL YOU!" Ino yelled kicking and screaming in Deidara's arms.
"Guys, un! I could use a little help!" Deidara yelled to the kitchen.
Sasori helped Sakura up as Sakura glared at Ino. He guided her to the kitchen. Sakura took a dive for Ino's stomach but Sasori blocked her. He picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and continued walking towards the kitchen.
"That was uncalled for," Sakura mumbled, muffed by Sasori's shirt in her face.
"I'm sorry what?" he mocked. "Did you say you wanted to be thrown onto the counter and ravaged?" Sasori asked as he complied with her nonexistant request.
"Sasori," Sakura growled out in frustration.
"Keep it PG!" Kurenai yelled as Deidara came in with Ino.
"Itai...my ear hurts!" Sakura complained as she touched her ear. She looked at her fingertips and noticed blood...a lot of blood. "You ripped my earring out!" Sakura screeched at Ino.
"Save the fighting for the cameras, hm? That was a lovely act but now you're not being recorded," Sasori offered.
"I'm not playing...that hurt, you asshole!" Sakura yelled at Ino.
"Well you bit me!"
"That was after you pulled my earrings out!!! Ugh...I HATE YOU!" Sakura yelled, furiously.
"I HATE YOU MORE!" Ino yelled as they stormed off to their rooms.
"Well...that plan backfired," Hidan stated as everyone stared after the girls.
"I'm going to go talk to Sakura..." Sasori said.
"You're a brave man..." Tenten said, shaking her head back and forth. Sasori rolled his eyes and walked to his and Sakura's shared room.
"Sakura? Where did you go?" Sasori mumbled half under his breath.
"In the bathroom!" Sakura yelled out. Sasori stepped into the hallway and went towards the bathroom door and hesitantly opened the door because he didn't want her to weild her temper at him... "Ow...shit," Sakura mumbled.
Sasori saw that she was holded an icecube to one of her earlobes while the other one was dripping blood onto the floor.
"Sakura, darling, would you like some help? You seem to be causing a mess..."
"I can do it myself. I don't need help," Sakura mumbled darkly as she continued to accidentally hurt herself. Sasori rolled his eyes.
"Let me rephrase that...I'm going to help you and you're going to like it. Clear?" Sasori asked. Sakura nodded, knowing she would lose that battle if she fought it out.
Sasori took the quickly melting, red ice from Sakura's hand and threw it into the sink. Then he grabbed a washcloth and put some cold water on it. He gently started pressing it to her ear lobe, putting a little more force at a slow speed until he heard her hiss in pain.
"Breathe, Sakura..."
"I am breathing!" Sakura snapped, bitterly.
"Are you PMSing or something?" he asked, calmly. She scoffed.
"No," she said, snottily.
"Then stop acting like a bitch. I'm trying to help you and for the record I did not do this to you so don't take it out on me," Sasori lectured.
"Yes, sir," Sakura mumbled as she felt another bolt of pain. "But do you have to press so hard?!!? It hurts!" Sakura whined.
"I want to stop the bleeding," Sasori responded.
"Can you at least talk to me? Get my mind off of this flaming pain?" Sakura asked.
"It's not that bad but I guess we can talk..." Sasori had no idea what he was getting himself into.
Sakura talked for hours even after he had stopped the bleeding on both ears and given her bandaids she insisted on talked so he sat down on the toilet seat with his head in his hands wondering if he strangled her, would it shut her up? It probably wouldn't...she'd just yell at him once she got free....if she got free...
"...so I was stuck on a major choice. The red skirt or the black skirt?"
"And you went with the black?" Sasori asked, hoping she'd end the conversation.
"No, I decided to go with blue jeans, silly," Sakura said from her spot, Indian-style in front of Sasori.
"Sakura," Sasori said but she kept going on about some guy at her school who is always hitting on her. Mental note to beat the shit out of him when they get out of the stupid "vacation" "Sakura."
Nothing.
"Sakura, darling."
Still nothing. She just keeps talking....
He took a deep breath.
"SAKURA!" She jumped at the sound of his voice.
"What?" she asked, shocked that he had yelled at her.
"Shut up and lay down on the bed," Sasori instructed. Sakura looked thrilled so she ran to their bedroom and awaited Sasori. He strode in slowly, causing Sakura great pain.
"Come on! Come on! Come on!" Sakura complained, like an impatient child wanting to go to Chuck E. Cheese.
Sasori got on top of her and pinned her arms to her sides.
"Patience, Sakura, and you'll get what you crave," Sasori whispered into her ear as he slowly took off her shirt to reveal black lingerie. Something glittered in his eyes. Sakura had a gut feeling to be nervous about that but passed it off.
"Is something on your mind?" she asked as he attacked her neck with his tongue.
"Hm..." he mumbled as he gently bit into her neck, leaving a huge hickey.
"Oh-Oh! St-Stop that!" Sakura whispered in ectasy. He chuckled and released her neck to look at her. She gave a disappointed groan.
"Your words deceive your actions, Sakura," Sasori said to her.
"Then don't listen to me. I'm a stupid naive girl who knows nothing about sex...so show me!" Sakura said as she pulled him down towards her chest.
Oh-Oh! St-Stop that!
"Stupid slut...." Ino mumbled, holding her legs to her chest on her bed.
"Who's a stupid slut, un?" Deidara asked as he entered their bedroom..
"Sakura, whos' getting fucked by her not 'boyfriend,'" Ino said, sracastically.
"She's your best friend, un. You shouldn't be mean to her like that...or stab her in the back," Deidara consoled. Ino looked at him like he was crazy.
"And you, an S-class criminal, are telling me this? Can anyone say 'hypocrite'?" Ino asked. Deidara rolled his eyes.
"Ha-Ha. Very funny," Deidara said. As he was about to say something else he heard-
-Oh, Sasori! Harder! Oh Yes!
"Well, I guess your friend is more of a screamer than I thought she was..." Deidara said, with a sweatdrop.
"You had a foursome with her and you're just now figuring out that she's a screamer?" Ino asked.
"Shut up," he said, playfully hitting her. "...but I would like to found out what ytou are..." He smirked as he slowly rolled ontop of her shocked form. She wasn't protesting though, far from it. She laid down as if robotically as he kissed her mouth with such force it knocked the breath out of her.
"Yes! Ino-chan is going to have sex with him!!!!" Tsunade cheered. Konan rolled her eyes as Pein gave Tsunade twenty dollars while mumbling curses under his breath.
"You two are immature...sex is a natural thing..." Konan stated.
"Not for those two..." Pein stated, shaking his head. This day couldn't get any worse. First, Sasori then Deidara. What next?
"So...do you think I should be worried about Ino and Sakura's relationship?" Tsunade asked them both.
"Yes."
"No."
They said at the same time then stared at each other.
"Yes, because when girls fight they hold grudges and want to rip the other girl to shreads..." Konan said.
"No, because it was just a fight. Guys fight all the time and can still stay friends afterwards," Pein said. Konan looked at him, dumbly.
"I think I'm going to go with Konan on this one..." Tsunade stated, wide eyed as she watch the two partners glare daggers at each other.
Author's Note: OK! I hope that will cure your hunger for now and again I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN A WHILE!!!! I'M TRYING! I JUST GOT A NEW COMPUTER!
I love you all!
DeiDeikunsgirl