Chapter 18
JD straightened himself up. Clearing his throat he tried to let the words just flow from his heart. "Todd, I know we've only been going out for two months but the truth is that I love you. I think some part of me always has and I really want to make this work with you. I love you; it just feels so good to finally say it."
He was greeted with laughter as Sam stared back at him. The young child helped himself up with the aid of the coffee table and began walking over to his dad.
"This is serious Sammy. One day you're going to have to tell that special someone that you love them. You may even have to say it to Todd, because he's going to be like a stepfather figure."
JD picked Sam up and sat down on the couch. He sat Sam down beside him and turned so he could give a man to man, father to son, talk. "You like Todd right, even though you may have a bit of resentment for him later because Mommy and Daddy aren't getting back together. Chances are he'll buy you lots of presents so you like him; like that squishy green football."
Sam went off into a little daydream. JD figured it was either about Todd bringing him presents, or winning the super bowl with a squishy green football. When Sam turned back to listen, JD wondered where all his new fantasies had come from.
"Why am I even talking about this now? I don't know if we're going to last, but I really want us too. Which is why I need to tell Todd I love him, now help me rehearse."
JD smiled before clearing his throat again. "Todd, you're just so amazing and everything about our time together has just been so amazing. Though the most amazing thing is…that I've said that word three times."
JD sighed, still not giving up on the idea of preparing some kind of speech. He wanted it to be perfect, which is why he had spent too much time planning. Hearing his stomach rumble a little, he turned to Sam and figured that he should go out and get some take-out.
Eager to take his mind off things for a moment, JD put Sam in his car seat and drove to the closest food joint he could think of, which happened to be a McDonalds. As he drove into the parking lot, an idea popped into his head. He went in the drive-through, ordered a Big Mac meal quickly and headed towards his new intended destination.
"Why didn't I think of it before?" JD asked himself, taking a quick sip of soda while at a traffic light. "Turk has told Carla that he loves her and look what happened with them. He can help me, plus who knows Todd better over the years than Chocolate Bear. Everything is coming up JD, Sammy."
He drove on excitedly until he reached his destination. Stopping out the front of Turk and Carla's apartment building, JD managed to hold Sam in his arms and the food bag in one hand. Slowly making his way up to his best friend's apartment, JD's mood brightened. Finally reaching the door, he knocked with his foot as his hands were full.
Carla answered the door, seeming surprised. "JD what are you doing here? I thought you would have been with Turk and Todd. They went to the arcade."
"Oh." JD was feeling a little disappointed, but still entered the apartment. Setting his food on the table, he placed Sam on the couch. "Where's Izzy?"
"Taking a nap." Carla fetched a plate for JD's food. "So have you told Todd you love him yet?"
"You can't rush these things." JD began picking at his fries, offering some to Carla.
"You've wanted to say it for weeks, come on JD." Carla cried out, looking a little frustrated.
JD swallowed a bite of his burger and decided to come clean. "Okay well, it's actually what I came to talk to Turk about. He said it to you and everything worked out fine. I just want it to be perfect."
"You can't plan love, you feel it and it just comes out. Seriously, stop with the big speeches. All that matters is the three words. I love you. Simple." Carla stole a couple more fries, looking satisfied with her advice.
JD put Sam on the floor, motioning towards some of Izzy's plush toys nearby. His posture and eyes turned serious after that. "I know you're right it's just the last time I said 'I love you' I had my heart ripped out."
It was then that Carla realised just what JD was referring to. She gasped at this new information, yet still maintained a sympathetic, although slightly motherly, tone "You said it to Perry didn't you?" Seeing the shocked look on JD's face, she explained. "No Turk didn't tell me, at least not until he knew that I already knew. I saw you guys kissing, but I didn't know that you-"
"Loved him?" JD completed her sentence and pushed his plate away, suddenly not hungry.
Carla's curiosity got the better of her. "JD do you still love Perry?"
"No! Of course not!" JD threw his hands up in frustration. "I don't know. It's just hard to get over someone you've wanted for years, especially when you fall in love and they hurt you so bad. The thing is Todd was there and I just forgot everything because of that. Nothing mattered as long as Todd's arms were around me."
"You should tell Todd that." Carla told him bossily.
"I actually did tell him something like that, but without the 'I love you' at the end." JD explained.
Carla stood up, looking down at JD for the grand finale of her advice giving. "Look JD. Todd isn't Perry. He doesn't have an ex-wife and kids. All he has is you and you know what, he loves you too. So seriously just cut all this drama out and tell him already."
While JD conversed with Carla, Todd was at the arcade with Turk. Concentrating hard on the skill crane, he eyed a yellow toy cat with a purpose. Moving his hands steadily he managed to successfully pick up the toy and retrieve it.
"How is it that you can't spell worth a damn, but you can still pick up those crane toys like a pro?" Turk asked, looking at the cat as he and Todd walked along the aisles of games. "Why the cat anyway?"
"I thought JD or Sam might like it. After all, JD calls me Angel Cat." Todd smiled, depositing money into a game for him and Turk to play.
"The one thing about your relationship, besides the man-love, that I will never be able to stomach." Turk commented as he concentrated on the game. "I'm telling you that pet name will be the death of me."
"I thought it was kind of dorky at first, but with his moves JD can call me whatever he wants."
"Dude! Come on now." Turk exclaimed, moving his game character with a purpose.
"Seriously I need your help though." Todd replied, moving the joystick and pressing buttons accordingly. "I haven't been in a relationship this long since college. Even then it was just about sex."
"None of that really shocks me, Todd." Turk told him honestly. "Dammit, come on. You're not going to beat me at this again."
"Watch your back T-dog!" Todd cried out before turning serious again. "I'm totally in love with JD."
"I kind of figured that."
Todd sighed before confessing. "I've never said it before. I mean, I only said it to get people to sleep with me." Pausing for a moment to use a special move, Todd continued. "How do you say it when it's for real?"
"You just tell him." Turk smacked the machine as Todd beat him, desperately wanting a subject change. "Well at least I can beat you in foosball."
"T-dog, come on." Todd's expression was upset, signalling to Turk that he did need some advice.
"Seriously Todd, I'm happy for you both but it's still weird talking about this." Turk sighed, trying to push his judgement aside and help not one, but both his friends. "Just find JD and tell him how you feel. Maybe get some flowers because he thinks-"
"They make a room smell like a meadow in spring time." Todd rolled his eyes slightly, but smiled. "He's interesting that way, but still cute. Plus if I buy him flowers, he might give me a little something in return."
"No! No more detail on that front." Turk blocked his ears and walked out the arcade doors. "I'm getting some lunch."
Todd followed after his friend before he realised that he nearly forgot the toy he won. Running back to the machine, he found it sitting on top and grabbed it gratefully. He tucked it under his arm and walked outside. Not seeing Turk anywhere in sight, Todd figured that now would be the best time to visit JD and say what was on his mind.
After a quick visit to the flower shop to pick up a random bunch, Todd drove as fast as he could to JD's apartment. There was nothing to stop the grin on his face when he stopped out front of the building. Todd strode confidently to his boyfriend's door. Flowers in one hand, cat in the other.
"JD!" He knocked softly, then a little harder as no-one answered. "JD?"
Shrugging, he figured he would catch JD at work the next day; leaving the toy and flowers by the door as a nice surprise.
Todd finished his shower at the hospital. He'd been waiting for JD to finish his shift with anxious excitement and impatience. While he understood that JD was more than likely going the extra mile for one of his patients and going to be late, Todd couldn't hold the words back any longer. It was finally the best opportunity to tell JD of his love, without interruptions.
Drying off, Todd began dancing and humming to himself. Pulling on one of his favourite banana hammocks, he couldn't resist high-fiving a few interns who happened to be in the locker room at that time. Running a comb through his hair and spraying some of his cologne on, Todd grinned to himself.
He grabbed some clothes from his locker before standing in front of the full-length mirror and smiling at his reflection. "Looking fresh."
Todd slipped on a pair of black leather pants, so well fitting that anyone who saw the surgeon wearing them developed a butt fetish. JD's hand rarely left his ass when Todd donned that particular pair. Posing and making his pectoral muscles dance, Todd's smile became even wider at the thoughts running through his head.
After a few minutes of boosting his self-esteem, Todd couldn't help but wonder where JD was. Slipping on a sleeveless t-shirt with the saying "Worlds Best Boyfriend" on the front he grabbed his jacket from his locker and once again returned to the mirror.
"Jacket, or no jacket?" He asked, comparing how he looked with the two. "JD likes the guns, but if it gets cold The Todd can offer him this. Then again, if it gets a little chilly, there's an excuse to get a bit closer." Putting the jacket back in his locker he was satisfied with his decision. "No jacket it is."
Todd was startled when he heard some clapping behind him. Winking at a picture of JD before shutting his locker he then turned around. Seeing the locker room was now empty, except for him and the Janitor. The large man with the tool belt being the source of the clapping.
"What's up?" Todd gave Janitor a nod of acknowledgment.
"Well you're looking awfully happy today." Janitor motioned for Todd to have a seat on one of the benches. "Sit down, tell me all about it."
Todd slid onto the nearest bench and sat up with happiness. "I'm going to tell JD that I love him tonight. Awesome, huh? I tried to say it before, but I kept getting nervous."
"Oh there's nothing like two people in love. I should know since I've been engaged five times." Janitor lied, but in his own mind it seemed to fit. "Do you think he loves you back? Nothing worse than saying it when they don't love you back."
"Dude, come on. Of course he loves me back." Todd tried to look confident but a small part of him stirred with uncertainty.
"Oh really." Janitor pulled some photos from his pocket and began flipping through them, whistling and making awkward faces.
"What are those?" Todd pointed, standing up and trying to get a look at the objects in Janitor's hands.
Janitor hid them from view. "I don't know if I should show you these. After all, you left the Brain Trust, so I don't know where your loyalties are." Plastering a mock friendly grin on his face, he wrapped an arm around Todd. "Though seeing as I'm such a nice guy. Maybe I can trust you to have a look at these things. Just because you chose your boyfriend over our friendship, doesn't mean we can't be buddies."
"Cool." Todd grabbed the pictures and began looking through them. At first he nodded, but then his smile faded. His look turned from confusion to hurt as he scanned through picture after picture. "What are these?"
"That's Chief Angry Doctor and your boyfriend having a kiss at the hospital picnic." Janitor pulled the pictures back. "Look, if you turn them really fast it's like a flip book. Watch!" Janitor showed what he meant, making sound effects as he did so.
Rogue tears were pricking the corners of Todd's eyes. He tried to cover up his emotions by laughing them off. "JD wouldn't do that. He's my boyfriend. Officially and exclusively my man candy. He said so himself." As he said it, a part of him believed it, despite the evidence he'd just seen. No way could JD have betrayed him like that.
"Okay, fair enough. The pictures are worth a thousand words, but I guess you don't even know that many words." Janitor flipped the pictures again. "Look at the boss go, he's really into your boyfriend. Woah."
Todd was about to punch Janitor when someone entered the locker room. JD appeared and smiled as soon as he saw Todd. Oblivious to Janitor leaning against the lockers, JD walked over to Todd with his arms outstretched.
"I've been waiting to see you all day. There is something I have to tell you." JD squeezed Todd tight, but then realised Todd wasn't hugging him back. "What's wrong? Hard day?"
Before Todd could say anything, Janitor's voice rang out through the locker room. "Prone to dumb moments. Pretty harsh thing to say about your boyfriend."
JD turned around only to have photos thrown into his face. As they fluttered to the ground, his eyes widened in horror. His gaze followed the still forms of him and Perry embracing until they hit the floor. Turning to Todd, JD tried to explain before getting interrupted again.
"Never had a serious relationship and probably couldn't handle it. Always making immature sex jokes." Janitor read from the book in his hands. "Guess he thinks you're not up to the challenge."
"That's my journal!" Unwisely, JD tried to swipe it. Janitor turned and pulled it from reach.
"Who's he talking about?" Todd asked, gulping back any indication that he was upset.
"Where did you get those pictures?" JD turned to Janitor, motioning to the floor.
"What I see here is more disrespect. Your boyfriend asked you a question, stupid." Janitor glanced over a few more pages, dramatically gasping at some of the contents he read.
When JD tried to grab it again, Todd managed to get to the book first. Janitor stepped back to watch it all unfold. Todd began reading through a few of the pages as silence filled the locker room.
"What's this about, JD?" Todd asked, holding up the page dated three days before JD and Perry's night at the bar. The day that JD had made his decision and chosen Perry over Todd.
Shaking his head in mock disgust, though secretly relishing in his triumph, Janitor answered. "That page says that while you may have chosen this idiot here, he sure as heck didn't choose you."
"Todd, I can explain." JD reached out and touched Todd's arm, only to have his boyfriend jerk away.
"Oh tough break Scooter!" Janitor laughed out loud.
"Will you shut up?!" JD shouted at the custodial worker, kicking the photos on the ground.
"Why don't you shut up?" Todd snapped; his face more angry than JD had ever seen it. "Thought you could spin The Todd a whole bunch of crap, did you?"
"It wasn't crap, it was never crap. Yes, Doctor Cox and I were sort of together but now I'm with you." JD couldn't control the fear overtaking his body. He didn't want to believe any of it was happening. "He kissed me, I swear. I just made a mistake Todd and I'm sorry."
Todd blinked back the water in his eyes and managed some laughter. "Why didn't you tell me this was just about sex?"
"What are you talking about? Todd you know that it was more than that with you. You are the best thing that's happened to me. I'm so sorry. Todd I don't want to lose you. You mean so much to me."
"Come on." Todd was desperately trying to hold back what he really felt. His face twisted into a weird expression and a few laughs escaped his mouth. He hated feeling like such an idiot, so low. In order to hide his feelings, Todd ventured to the familiar "It was always just about bumping uglies. So did you get what you wanted? I know I did. Now you know the proper way to sixty-nine. When you show Doctor Cox, remember to credit me."
"Stop it. You're being ridiculous!" JD pulled Todd to him, looking into his eyes. "You're lying and I know it."
"The Todd is free to appreciate hotness once again." Todd nodded, biting his lip until blood trickled into his mouth. His eyes were watering worse than ever as they stared into JD's but he still managed not to cry. He threw the journal against some lockers, causing a bang to echo through the room.
"You're not free, you're my boyfriend." JD wrapped his arms around Todd's neck. "We belong together, we're happier that way. I can't go through this again."
Todd shook JD's arms off. "Dude, I don't need you anymore." He raised one hand and grabbed JD's wrist with the other, trying to pretend that he could just brush their relationship off. "Break up five!" He forced the two hands to meet, despite JD trying to protest.
Todd headed for the exit, unable to look at his now ex-boyfriend any longer. JD stood in shock for a moment as he watched Todd leave. He thought about following after when he heard some sarcastic sniffling behind him. Suddenly JD remembered he wasn't alone. Shaking violently, he slowly turned himself to Janitor.
"Better luck next time." Janitor laughed sadistically as he saw the look on JD's face.
"Why the hell would you do that?" JD whispered quietly, wondering why he was surprised that his tormentor had stooped to this level.
"Well I was going to paste them up all over the hospital, but I thought this worked much better."
JD stormed up to the taller man and shook his head. "You think its funny spying on people? Breaking someone's heart like that?" Before Janitor could reply with a smart remark a maniacal smile appeared on JD's face. "You always torture me. Fuck with my life for no reason except for the fact, well I don't know why you do it. You know what, you win." Through watery eyes, JD looked at Janitor with a purpose. "Is this what you want, Janitor? Is this what gets you off?"
Having never seen JD in such a crazy state before, Janitor didn't know how to react. He wasn't sure why his chest hurt a little. Why after all these years did it not seem like fun anymore? He watched as JD swiftly pulled the knife-wrench from his belt. For a moment, Janitor feared the doctor would stab him until he felt his hand being forced open and the weapon clutched in his fist.
JD grabbed the Janitor's hand, pointing the weapon to his chest. "Go ahead. Why don't we get this over with? I clearly annoy you so much to the point where you had to do this to me."
Janitor tried to choke out some words as he watched the tears finally spill from JD's swollen red eyes. A lump caught in his throat, it appeared that his small conscience was alerting him to just how far he'd gone. His hand shook as the knife end of his knife-wrench was still pointed at JD. There was a little part of him tempted to take the opportunity, but even he wasn't that evil.
"I'd rather be dead than feel like this again. So, Janitor, what are you waiting for?" JD didn't know what he was doing, but he was too upset to care.
Putting the tool back in his belt, Janitor straightened himself up. Finally he managed some words from his mouth. "Don't be so dramatic, Nancy boy."
NOTE: Awww :-( Poor JD and Todd. Angsty chapter *once again hands out tissues to sensitive readers* Silly fear stopped them from saying "I love you" when they had the chance. Now what will happen as a result of this? Who will be affected? Do you want me to update so JD can find out where his heart lies? Keep reading and reviewing, there's more to come soon.