This was originally supposed to be a disgustingly random stop motion movie. My friend Doctor Egon and I were working together. We got this partially written, and our favorite scene half filmed before we completely abandoned it. I found I the other day, and out of complete frustration with my other projects, decided to work on it--attempt to turn our half-done script into a finished narrative. You still have to imagine that you're watching it on a TV screen for a few of the jokes to work, but it works okay. So, one to the prologue...

(in order for this to work, you have to imagine the scrolly introduction at the begining of the star wars movies)777

Star Warz

Epizode 6.4973674501 (approx.), Stardate 00100

You Have Now Entered the Twilight Zone...

Finally dead Yoda iz. So to join the rebel armada, Lucaz George Sandcrawler has gone. When found then he did, waiting for him Princezz Llewellyn Organically-Grown and Hanz Duo were. Welcomed him, they did. Hiz help, they could uze. A new Death Star, the Emperor had conztructed. So a mizzion to deztroy it, being planned waz.

Wait...Yoda'z dead. Why in Hell are we still talking like him?

Annoying, it iz.

Much haz happened to our heroez. Lucaz discovered hiz parentage. Darth Valorie is hiz father. He waz devaztated. After a few yearz of sulking, he returned to hiz Jedi Mazter Yoda, who we, the directorz aren't mezzing with becauze he'z cool, and it waz too much trouble conzidering we aren't even showing him--pluz, he's scary when he'z ticked. he really iz. Didn't you see Star Warz Ep 3? The green dude iz maaajor badazz. Anyway, Yoda died--I think we covered that--and young Lucaz returned to the Rebellion, just az he waz needed. With perfect timing. Uncanny.

Trivia Question: When Han and Chewie fix the Falcon during flight in "The Empire Strikes Back", who is flying the ship?

But thiz story izn't really about the heroez, it'z about the storm trooperz, becauze you can alwayz find more heroez, but storm trooperz are in short suppy. Just walk into Toyz 'r Uz, you'll find plenty of Episode 4 Leiaz, but not one storm trooper. Do you know how hard it iz to make a movie without any storm trooperz to slaughter? So here'z a mezzage to all thoze overworked, underpaid, subject to the whimz of the sith lordz and directorz, "Stand up and fight for your rightz! Unionize! Prioritize! Strike!" ...Wait a minute, you're the onez with blazterz... "Deunionize! Unprioritize! And whatever you do, Don't Strike!"

Trivia Queztion Anzwer: Chewie'z Fleaz

But there are secret plotz afoot that are so daztardly, so evil, so subtle, so secret they may mean the end for our poor heroez. (Though az resident chaoz goddezz, I hope the heroez die.)

Now for our feature prezentation..a recitation of the fifty worzt sonnetz in human hiztory. Dot Dot Dot Dotz

777This is probably the only story I'll post before I've finished it, but i already know how it ends and have an out line so there's minimal risk of my mind throwing the story into the trash. That said...this is an unfinished work, so if anyone has any ideas or jokes they want to see written into upcoming chapters, I welcome them--even in-jokes might be included if I i like them enough.

Next scene is Endor Mission Briefing. This is one of the scenes Doctor Egon and I never finished writing, so i may be a bit before it comes out and ideas are more than welcome.

Also...there are four words in that entire prologue in which the letter "z" is used correctly. Digital brownies go to the first person who can tell them to me.

--Dragon of Dispair