Okay this is the second installment of Consequences. This examines Ash's feeling during Snakehead.

Disclaimer- I'm a thirteen year old American schoolgirl in New Jersey. Enough said, yes?

"Careful! I want this to be perfect!"

Ash just nodded, knowing better than to respond to Major Yu in this mood. He typed in the code that would start Royal Blue on its descent to the ocean floor. Yu watched him, eyes narrowed.

"Are you quite alright Ash? You haven't been acting normal lately."

"I'm fine."

Yu didn't seem to believe him. "You've been off for a while now. Ever since you found out you would be working with the Rider boy, actually. You haven't been affected by the brat have you?"

"Of course not. He's meaningless." Ash lied through his teeth. Alex had affected him. It was like seeing John again, constantly being reminded of the worst day of his life, his greatest mistake, greatest failure.

"Yes, he is." Yu agreed. "At least he is now. He can't hurt us dead."

Dead. Ash hated to think it. And it was his fault, just John and Helen's deaths had been. He'd tricked the boy from the start. Everything had been a lie. Well, not everything. The argument in the room in Chinatown had been real. He hadn't been told Alex was going alone to collect the papers. He knew of Anan Sukit. The man was cruel and he liked to play with people. It was against his better judgment that he let Alex go. And when he had come back, bruised and bloody, obviously having been in some sort of fight, Ash had been horrified. He had wanted to keep Alex out of the line of fire as much as possible. The idea that his godson had been involved in things like this before was bad enough. But for him to go through it right in front of him was killer. He had failed as a godfather the same way he had failed as a friend. To have Alex killed because of him! It was unbearable.

"Focus." Yu muttered. "This can't go wrong."

Not ten seconds later, the door burst open and Ash felt a burning pain in his back. He pitched forward onto the floor and blacked out.

He came to without the feeling of immense confusion, so he couldn't have been out long. There were voices, Major Yu's and … No, it couldn't be. He was dead. Unless…? He lifted his head. Alex Rider stood before him. He really shouldn't have been surprised. This was John's son. He whispered his name, and saw Alex stare at him in shock before understanding crossed his face, followed immediately by contempt.

"I'm sorry Alex." He was. Inexpressibly so. "I didn't want you to know." (Anthony Horowitz, Snakehead, pg.366)

Poor Alex. This would destroy every bit of innocence he had left. He wanted him to understand. He was grateful Yu gave the chance to explain. Though it probably wouldn't make any difference. Alex would hate him, and rightfully so. Still he could try. So he told him how he felt after Mdina. The situation reminded him of that fiasco. Nothing had gone right. He was badly hurt. A Rider was involved.

He stopped, but Yu, the sadistic bastard, wouldn't let him end it there. "Why don't you tell him the rest of it Ash?" (Anthony Horowitz, Snakehead, pg.369)

"No! Please.." (Anthony Horowitz, Snakehead, pg.369) He couldn't. It was too much.

But Alex was a smart kid. He had already realized. Ash couldn't bring himself to answer him. Yu did it for him, explaining that Ash had to be tested beyond a doubt.

"I didn't want to…" (Anthony Horowitz, Snakehead, pg.369) He had to understand that much. Had to understand that it had destroyed him to do it.

"Alex.." He tried one last time to talk to him, but he just didn't have the strength. He never seemed to have the strength to do what was needed.