EXPLANATIONS

BPOV

"Edward, I owe you an explanation", I began.

I looked down and began fidgeting with my shirt. Edward looked at me intensely, willing me to go on. I did.

"I'm sorry Edward. For everything. For all the pain I caused you. For breaking your trust in me. But I had a reason, and absurd as it may sound I thought at that point that I was making the right choice."

"When I left 5 years ago, it was not because I needed a change. That was an outright lie. My life was absolutely perfect, how could it not be when I had you? The night I left Forks was the night that I found out I was pregnant with your baby, Edward."

His expression was blank so I continued.

"I was scared Edward. So scared. And I felt so guilty. I had forced you into something you weren't ready for and look where it brought us! I didn't want to involve you in something that wasn't your fault."

"You had just gotten accepted into that great college. If you had ever found out I knew you would drop out and help me with the baby. How could I watch you throw away your dreams and live with myself? I…."

Edward interrupted me, his eyes burning with an emotion I couldn't recognize.

"Bella. When you left me to believe that you didn't love me I retreated into a cold hard shell. I was in a horrible condition. I couldn't eat. I couldn't think. I was miserable. You should have told me Bella, we would have worked something out."

He was getting more and more agitated with every word he spoke.

"How could you not trust me? Today I am one of the best doctors there is and that too because you. When you told me in that letter that you wanted me to succeed I took it to heart and gave medical school everything I had. I am where I am because of you. But all of this meant nothing next to what you meant to me."

He suddenly stopped talking when he realized where we were and why I was there He hoisted my leg up to the examination table. I felt my eyes becoming wet once again, not due to the pain in my leg but because of the pain I had caused Edward

I blinked back my tears as Edward gently checked my leg. He pressed an ice bag against it and wrote out a prescription. He handed me the prescription along with his card and said, "I'm sorry Bella but we can't talk any more right now because other patients are waiting to see me. Call me and we'll meet up for coffee and see where all this is going to lead us to. Take care of your leg Bella."

"Bye, Edward" I muttered.

"Goodbye" he said so softly I could barely hear him.

I walked out completely shocked and disoriented. I picked up Ethan from the play pen and went over to the car park with him, still in a daze.

"Mommy, are you okay?" asked Ethan.

"I'm fine darling. How 'bout you have a sleep over with Aubrey today?"

"Sure!"

"Kay, I'll drop you on the way, alright?"

"Mmm Hmm!"

"Good"

Ethan's best friend Aubrey was the daughter of one of Alice's models, Rosalie. Her husband Emmet and I had soon become as close as real siblings. I was sure Rose and Em wouldn't mind especially when I explained the situation to them.

Luke was waiting outside the hospital for me. He was Mr. Cullen's driver. I got into the car along with Ethan.

"How's the leg" asked Luke, casually.

"Seen better times" I replied. We had this conversation every time we met because I was inevitably injured all the time. "Do you mind pulling over outside Rose's house" I asked.

"Sure thing" he said.

We reached Em's place and I hobbled over with Ethan and rang the doorbell, while Luke stayed in the car. Rose answered and when she saw the look on my face tactfully said, "Come in. Ethan, why don't you go upstairs and play with Aubrey?

"Thanks Rose", I said once Ethan was safely out of hearing range.

"I'm having some personal problems right now and I just need to think alone. I don't want Ethan to get involved."

"Sure, I understand. If you need to talk I'm always here, honey"

"Thanks. I appreciate it. I'll head home now"

"Bye. Be safe."

I rolled my eyes at that. I stepped into the car and Luke headed off in the direction of my apartment. Alice's and mine that is. Alice had insisted that I move in with her a week after I had met her.

Flashback

Alice had come to my house to visit. When she arrived her expression turned to one of disgust. I lived in a one roomed apartment that resembled a closet more than a house.

"Bella you have to come live with me" she said. "Look at this place!"

She was right about the house, but that didn't mean I could randomly move in with her.

"Come on, Alice! There is no way you can expect me to just drop everything and live with you." I reasoned.

"Pshh. Why not? This place you stay in is so small. And dingy. And plain ugly. What are you going to do when the baby is born?"

"Are you done with the criticism? Anyway I can barely afford the rent for this place, where am I going to find someplace better." I said

"That's why you're moving to my house. And who said anything about rent? I own the apartment"

"I'm not staying for free"

"Of course you are and that's final."

Alice had one that argument like every other one we had had.

End Flashback

However to ease my guilty conscience for freeloading off Alice I insisted upon cooking every meal and doing the dishes every day as well as straightening out the apartment once a week to save Alice the cost of a cook and a maid.

She agreed because that was the only way I agreed to stay with her. I smiled at the memory but sobered up when I realized why I was in that pathetic position in the first place. Why I was in New York in the first place. Killjoy.

I reached the apartment and waved goodbye to Luke. I pulled out my keys. Stuffing them into the lock I pushed the door open. I was hoping to reach before Alice so I would have some time to straighten out my thoughts before I saw her.

I was in no such luck. I could hear Alice in her room singing along, in her beautiful soprano voice to the radio. "Alice", I called out. "I'm home!"

"Hey Bella!" she yelled over the blaring music. "I'll be there in a sec."

Alice bounced (yes Alice doesn't walk, she bounces) over but stopped when she saw my expression. "What's the matter, Bella?" she asked. "And where's Ethan?

"Sit down and I'll explain everything"

I composed myself, while Alice sat on the couch. She was just twitching with anticipation. Unable to contain herself any longer she asked "So…what happened?"

I smiled at her excitement and then said, "Well, after you left me in the hospital it was time for my appointment so I went in. My doctor was Dr. Masen. I knew him from before. Guess how?"

"Don't keep me in suspense. Spill"

"He is Edward. The Edward. Ethan's father", I half whispered.

Alice understood at once. I had told her all about Edward. "Oh Bella! I'm so sorry you had to handle that on your own. I wish I was there." She exclaimed

"No, this is not your fault. It's time I stopped running away from my problems. But I don't know what to do." I said sadly

"What do you think I'm here for, huh? Tell me what happened."

"He more or less said that I shouldn't have hurt him the way I did. He knows now that he is Ethan's father. I feel like such a horrible person, Alice. I hurt him so much." She put her arm round my shoulder, comforting me.

"He gave me his card and said that we should talk this out over coffee."

"I think you should go as soon as possible. How 'bout tomorrow after work? And do you need me to be there? And where's Ethan?" she said, asking multiple questions at once.

"You're right. I'll go right after work tomorrow and no, I'll be fine on my own. Ethan is in Rose and Em's place. I didn't want him to get involved." I replied.

"You're right. Neither Ethan nor Edward are ready to be pushed together right now."

My life was such a mess. I realized that I had better get to bed, if I wanted to get up on time for work tomorrow. After that a one week break! I loved it when Mr. Cullen traveled for this one reason. When he wasn't there I got off!

Alice must have realized that it was getting late too, because she said "Bella, I think you should go to sleep now. You'll feel better."

Generally I played the role of the adult in this house. Seeing Alice spring into baby sitter mode was amusing and frankly quite touching.

However I couldn't resist a 'Goodnight mother!"

Alice mock glared at me and I fled to my room. I got into a pair of old, comfy pajamas before falling onto the bed. I pulled my blanket over my frame engulfing myself in it

I found it hard to sleep. I kept thinking about Edward and how much I had hurt him.

And how amazing he looked in that doctor's coat. Though, I knew for a fact that he looked better without it. Much, much better. I tried to clear my mind of inappropriate images of Edward.

When I finally managed to sleep it was well past 2 am.

That night all I dreamt about was Edward Masen.

All of you who read this story the first time round would have realized that Ethan's best friend is not Kevin but Aubrey.

I just thought it would be more interesting for him to have a girl best friend *winks*

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