Author's Note: Third Chapter! Okay, get ready because after two chapters of agony, you shall find why this story is called "The Hogwarts Prankwar of 1977." Read and Review! I need suggestions! For prank, LJ action and anything else. I know you all are not so easily satisfied. How can I improve my amateur writing!? Warning, there is not alot of LJ action in this chapter and I apologize. You are free to verbally beat me with a stick. REVIEW!
It had been three days since James had actually gotten to talk to Lily. Not that she hated him again or anything (the fact that she waved at him during class proved that), but he didn't understand it.
Lily no longer spent time in the Great Hall to have a mashed potato eating contest with James. She no longer did homework with him. Now, it was all about her friends, Gracie and Emma. James found himself almost resenting her best friends, even though he usually got along pretty good with them. What were they doing to his... hem hem, not his Lily?
Is it a boy issue?
Guess again Potter.
What if she found out about that zit I found on my left shoulder blade and can't get rid of?
Are you really that paranoid?
No, I just...
Love her.
I do not!
Do to!
And you would know this how?
Because I know what goes through your head every time when she walks in the room, and how you feel when she talks to or smiles at you, or when she bends over to grab her books, how you just wanna reach over and--
Enough!
Believe it or not Potter, you love her. She's all you need to keep surviving.
Rather disgruntled with his own conscience, James trotted to the common room with his friends as they discussed the diversionary tactics of Quidditch.
"Prongs, don't you think the Wronskei Feint should be banned?" Remus asked pleadingly.
"I don't want to talk about Quidditch."
"Well, what do you want to talk about James?" Asked Peter asked if his life depended on the answer.
"Lily." Whined James.
Suddenly, James looked around and noticed that his friends had left, leaving him to walk back to the Head's Dorm all by himself.
When he entered, an odd sight met his eyes. Gracie, Emma, and Lily were all lying on their stomachs around a small piece of paper. Gracie was (strangely enough) writing it, Emma was leafing through a book with no title and Lily was talking about something, but stopped when she saw him.
In an instant, they sat up, with completely calm expressions on their faces.
"What's that?" Asked James, gesturing to the paper, not noticing Gracie suddenly tensing up.
"Homework," Answered Lily coolly, handing him an Ancient Runes Essay.
"And the book?"
"A magazine." Said Emma just as cool, tossing him Witch Weekly.
"And the discussion?" He asked, rather confused.
"Well, we were discussing whether Amos Diggory or Imos Diggory has a hotter-"
"Okay!" Cut off James, "I can see, that what you're doing is very fascinating, but I have to go." He sprinted up the stairs after giving Lily a good night hug that lasted seven whole seconds (he counted).
Lily sighed happily as he walked back up the stairs to his room.
"You so love him." Gracie said airily.
"Do not. I have no clue what you mean." Lily said, concentrating on changing the invitation back to it's normal appearance.
"That was some amazing spell work Lils," said Emma, who looked at the would be "magazine" as Lily changed it back into her copy of "Pranks for Prats".
"Why thank you Emma." Lily said.
"You know you love him," persisted Gracie, "Did you notice that look she gave him, Em? Pure sweetness. By the way, I call dibs on Maid of Horror, or whatever you call it."
"It's Maid of Honor, Grace, and for your information, I'm not planning to do anything marriage wise and you know it."
"Somehow Lils, I've managed to doubt that. Just admit that you are a teensy weensy bit attracted to him. Admit it! What's not to like! He's one of the hottest guys in our year (next to Black), smart, an athlete, popular and really nice. And he's completely head over heels for you! You've got it all in front of you Lils, you've just gotta grab it." Said Gracie, looking starry eyed as she day dreamed of her best friend's future love life.
"No, Gracie. James and I are just mates. Can you imagine how awkward it would be if we went out? Besides, he's over me. And I couldn't help but notice that you said Sirius Black was hot!"
"I was kidding!" Said Gracie, though she could not bring her eyes up to meet Lily's.
"Yeah okay, whatever." Said Emma, ruffling up the notes they had been taking.
"Mission Prankwar begins tomorrow!" Squealed Gracie.
"Shh!" Said Lily, "Are you sure everything is set to go? No extra spells or cautions to take? And all parts are in place? I don't want the beginning of a legend to be a flop."
"Yes, yes," said Emma, purple eyes shining with eagerness.
"And the invitation?" Gracie said, her eyes like melted pools of chocolate as she too nearly screamed from excitement.
"Ready to go along with the rules," Confirmed Lily, "All we have to do is magically send it at exactly five point five minutes before class begins. We want them to get it when they are together and from my research, they all have first period together so they'll be able to receive it together as a group and look it over before writing a reply."
The girls sat in silence.
"We could get in horrible trouble." Said Emma worriedly.
"Yes but this is our last year, and therefore, I think we should go out in style." Gracie said.
"I agree. Just promise girls that this won't mess up our friendship in any way or our homework time."
"Agreed." Her friends chorused.
"Alright, shall we get ready for a long day ahead of us?" Lily asked.
"Let's." Said Emma.
"Phase One, commence." Said Emma, nearly shaking with nervousness.
It was eight o'clock A.M. in the Great Hall. To all teachers and students, it was normal. The girls hadn't gotten any sleep like they had aimed for and had got up at an unseemly hour to go down and make sure everything was set up right. Since it was a Friday and a half-day at that, the girls were extremely happy that they were allowed to sleep right after their second class instead of their sixth. Gracie had suggested they just blow the day off, but Lily and Emma said it might make them look suspicious. Surprisingly, they had perfected their look enough so it looked like they had gotten a full night of sleep.
"The targets, said Marauders?"
"In position."
"Time."
"Eight o... nine."
"Six more minutes."
"I have to pee."
"Gracie! Why didn't you empty your damn bladder before we got in here?"
"Well I didn't have to go then!"
"Ugh, okay just... hold it, or go in your pants."
"Fine." They waited tentatively in the Entrance of the Great Hall behind the pillar.
"Three minutes." Emma whispered.
"I'm gonna throw up." Lily said.
"I'm gonna pee my pants!" Countered Gracie.
"Ugh! I'm starving!" Yawned Sirius.
"Join the club." Said James, who looked sadly at Peter who was asleep on the table.
"For once, I too am also hungry." Said Remus.
"Alright then, let's dig in!"
Sirius dumped the entire platter of eggs 'n ham on his plate, knocking the salt off the table. He bent down to pick it up from under the table. And then he sat up and began to dig in.
Where did the eggs go?
He blinked, and picked up his plate to look under it. No eggs. Where the bleeding hell did his breakfast get to?
"Whoa," Said James," Padfoot, I know you pride yourself in eating at an alarmingly fast rate, but two seconds for an entire platter? I hope you don't get sick."
"But I didn't eat my eggs!" Said Sirius, who continued to look under and around his empty plate.
"Yeah, okay." Said James as he began to eat his pancakes smothered in blueberry syrup, but there was nothing on his plate.
"Umm... guys? Did you take my food?" James said rather bewildered.
"No, in fact, I was just about to enjoy my own toast with margarine but it wasn't on my plate." Remus said just as confused as his friends.
"What about food?" Said Peter, whose drool had covered his shirt and face.
James reached forward and put a hash brown on his plate. Then it just disappeared, as if it could apparate or something.
"Sirius, pass the waffles."
"I like waffles, especially Belgium ones," said Peter sleepily.
Sirius did and just as both the hash browns had, they disappeared. Now all Marauders were wide awake and began piling their plates with food, which kept disappearing. They tried everything. Ketchup, syrup, milk, orange juice, bacon, more waffles. Nothing would stay!
Five minutes later, at least half of the food was gone off the Gryffindor table. All four boys were beside themselves. Not only would food on plates disappear, but also food on forks, spoons, knives and drinks in cups!
Suddenly, students all around the hall began to notice that a cloud was gathering over the middle table. The Marauders didn't notice it, seeing as they were trying to find out what on earth was going on. Even teachers began to notice that something was going wrong.
James noticed that the sun was going down outside and he could no longer see.
Damn the sun.
But... wait... It's morning. Why would the sun be going down?
As if they were all hit with the same thought, the Marauders all looked straight up, but none were prepared for what was about to happen.
SPLAT/SQUISH/SHLOP
The entire breakfast, every entree on the table that had been put on their plates, landed all over the four boys. Pancakes, eggs 'n ham, blueberry syrup, hash browns, juice, milk, ketchup, you name it, it landed on them. As all of the food landed on their heads, it seemed that time had stopped.
I hope Lily doesn't see me like this. Thought James.
Aw crap, this is my favorite shirt! Thought Remus miserably.
My hair! My gorgeous, beautiful hair! Mentally screamed Sirius.
I like waffles.. Thought Peter as one landed flat on his face, covered in ketchup.
The food must have continued to fall for a full ten seconds, which is saying quite a lot considering gravity and all. And the suckish things was, it only seemed to fall on them! They tried to wipe it off but it seemed to stick. Finally the food ceased falling and the entire hall was silent for a moment, and then burst into laughter. Thankfully, James' immense blush was hidden by the fact a platter of ketchup and eggs was covering most of his face. Both muggle and magical cameras started flashing and they began to hear students say "Hogwarts Yearbook: funniest moment" and "Whoever thought of this was pure genius!". Even the teachers found this rather enlightening and found themselves laughing along merrily.
McGonnagal had walked down to the breakfast table right where they were standing and (taking care not to dirty her shoes) said, "I'm not sure if this is your doing or someone else's, but I want you four completely clean before your first class. Ugh! The immaturity of it! And if you are not spic and span by your next class, you will be dragged into your next class no matter how little clothing you have on... Now go!" She shouted as the Marauders scampered off waving to the hysterical crowd and she vanished all of the mess.
Twenty Minutes Later, all Marauders were clean and dry and ready to go to their next class, but their books and parchment were soaked through and Remus said they would have to reorder.
"Hey, James you got a quill that's not using syrup as ink?" Said Sirius, who was already writing his note to Flourish and Blotts.
James reached into his pocket and instead of a quill, pulled out a small note written in blueberry syrup.
Courtesy of the Marauderesses
Ten minutes before charms started, the four friends sat around James' desk, staring fixedly at the scrap of paper.
"I hate it when people steal our own idea." Pouted Sirius.
"They could just be crazed girls who are madly in love with us." James said cockily.
"Yeah but why bother writing the note in blueberry syrup?" Remus asked.
"Because they did the prank." Said Peter, making them all look at him in wonder.
"Peter that... makes sense for once," Said James, "but how do we know for sure it's them?"
"Only time can tell the truth, mates. Let's just wait."
So they waited for five minutes. The air was so tense it was hard to breath.
"I CAN'T STAND IT ANY LONGER!" Screamed Sirius, who unearthed a piece of scrambled egg from his shirt.
As if on cue, a letter popped up on James' desk. All Marauders dove forward and tore it open. Hesitantly, as if it were a howler, they began to read it.
Dear Marauders,
Congratulations on surviving our first test. Obviously your intelligence level is low enough to the point where you would actually let the food fall on you without trying to immobilize it.
Questions? Yes, we did prank you. Yes, it was hard though simple work. And yes we believe that you guys are Ego-maniacal Idiots who are about to get proven wrong. You say you are the greatest prankers Hogwarts has ever seen. You're not. Which is where we come in.
After years of research on the Art of Pranking, we have concluded that you are only the best because no one has tried to outdo you.
We are here to do that.
We the Marauderesses hereby invite said "Marauders" to compete against us in a full-on prank war. This prankwar will last into late May just two weeks before exams, seeing as we like to be Outstanding Students. If you chicken out, we wreak havoc and prove openly that we are better Prankers, if you accept, write a reply in about 24 hours time and in return you will receive the rules and regulations to the prank war. Were sure that the Mr. Moony (the smarter one of your group) will be able to some up with a reasonable answer. Thankfully for you, we are patient with creatures with such low brain activity.
Farewell Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. We wish you a lovely day.
sincerely,
Midnight, Freckles and Frown
A.K.A. The Marauderesses
They finished reading and sat in both shock and excitement.
"A prank war." Said Sirius, sounding faint.
"Against... girls." Said Peter.
"Whose up for it?" Asked James eagerly.
"Wait." Said Remus, "there are a lot of things to consider and we don't even know who we are dealing with."
"C'mon Moony. Lighten up. What are we going to lose against a bunch of girls?" Sirius said, taking out some parchment.
"Our dignity? Our sanity? Our minds?" He huffed, irritated.
"No we'll be don't seem too bright anyway." Said James.
Oh, how very wrong he was.
Lily, Gracie and Emma were down in the kitchens. I had certainly been a day worth celebrating.
Nothing went wrong, they pranked successfully and they managed to shut the Marauders gloating up for a day or so.
After school, they decided to party and that's what they did. A sundae buffet was laid out on the counter and Lily and her friends were digging into enormous bowls of ice cream.
"We are so immature." Said Lily, taking a huge bite.
"Sometimes in life, being immature is what it takes to win." Said Emma wisely.
"Yeah, but a prank war? Don't get me wrong, I nearly died from laughter at the looks on their faces, but what if we get caught?"
"We won't get caught. Were the Marauderesses!" Said Gracie.
"I can't believe we came up with those nick names. Midnight Freckles and Frown." Said Lily laughing.
"They work though!" Began Emma, "I'm midnight because of my dark black hair, you Lils, are freckles because you've got them all over your cheeks, and Gracie is always frowning. It fits perfectly!"
"Okay. Whatever. I just wanna eat my ice cream." Said Lily, digging into her peppermint scoop.
"When do you think the reply will come?"
"I'm not sure," said Emma also digging into her rocky road, "I heard them talking to each other and they have already started working on their reply. The rules are ready to send off, we just need their reply."
They continued eating in silence for a moment.
"We are so immature." Said Gracie, shaking her head.
"How so?"
"We are about to wage a prank war against the hottest, most popular boys in school without them knowing its us. We have to master pranking in about a week. On top of all this, we are trying to prove to the world that men are evolutions failure. Is there anything more childish?"
Lily burst out laughing at the hypocrisy of it. All her life she hated people who broke the rules, but now, she was joining them.
"Okay so," said Emma, once she had finished helping Lily off the floor, "Now that we are well into the year, I think we should discuss our crushes, because you know you've got one."
"None." Said Gracie a little too quickly.
"Who is it?" Asked Lily, her green eyes lighting up at the source of gossip.
"I don't have a crush! Especially not on Sirius Bloody Black!"
"Who said anything about Black?" Said Lily mischievously, making Grace flush and mutter into her ice cream, "I don't know."
"I don't! I swear!" Yelled Gracie as her friends high fived, "There's nothing to like! He bugs the bleeding hell out of me and you know it. What about you and James, Lily?"
"Just friends." Answered Lily breezily, despite the weird flip her stomach performed upon hearing the word "James".
"And you Emma?" Said Gracie, grinning evilly as Emma's eyes widened in mock fear.
"No one." She said, though they didn't miss the light blush on her cheeks.
"Oh My God, you have a crush! Who?" Screamed Lily.
"No one." Repeated Emma, her purple eyes flashing in irritation.
"Is it Remus?" Asked Lily.
Emma's face was all they needed to know the answer.
"YES!" Gracie shouted, "Oh this is so adorable! Lily how did you guess?!"
"Well, I saw her blush the other day when he walked past her, so I just figured."
"No I don't like Remus," said Emma, more to herself than anyone else.
"Okay fine whatever." Gracie said disbelievingly.
Emma was about to open her mouth to shoot back a comment when a letter popped up on Lily's lap, making her shout through a mouthful of ice cream.
"It's here! The reply is here!" Gracie cried, her ponytail bouncing as she jumped and down excitedly.
Lily opened it and they all began to read it over her shoulder.
Dear Marauderesses,
We accept your invitation to join the prankwar. Though we warn you, we are highly skilled prankers and wish to tell you that the outcome of this prankwar will be in our favor no doubt. We would also like to point out that we are clearly not as un-intelligent as you think because we managed to get this letter to you without use of an owl.
You obviously know who we are but we are wondering, who are you? You're obviously semi-smart, talented with magic and have got terrible handwriting (we could barely read your letter). We have a few guesses as to who you might be but would you please tell us? Mr. Padfoot would like to add that you are the ones with the egos.
So once you have finished deciding whether or not you are going to chicken out, let us know and send the rules. But know this: when we find out ho you are, we will get revenge on what you did this morning and (though Mr. Moony admits regretfully that it was a brilliant idea) make sure you never dare to threaten us again.
Till we prank again,
The Marauders
A.K.A. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs
P.S.
Mr. Moony would like to suggest politely that you reconsider because he hates fighting.
Mr. Wormtail would like to ask if you girls like waffles.
Mr. Padfoot would like to say bring it on and that he looks forward to kicking some wimpy, girly butt.
Mr. Prongs would like to say that girls shouldn't try to do something they were never good at in the first place.
"The nerve of them! My writing is legible!" Shouted Gracie, digging furiously into her ice cream, finishing it in one bite.
"Well, they don't know who we are. Should we tell them?" Said Emma looking unsure.
"No Em. We can't," said Lily her green eyes narrowing, "If we told them, they would prank us every chance they got. They want revenge, but were not going to let them get it."
"AMEN!" Shouted Gracie.
"I think this calls for another round of ice cream ladies. Peppermint or chocolate?" Said Lily happily, opening the fridge.
"Both!" Shouted her friends, not even caring that it was way past their bedtime.
Lily filled the bowls and they all sat down, their knees touching.
"To the Marauderesses and a kick ass prankwar!" Gracie shouted, her brown eyes glistening.
"To the Marauderesses!"
A/N/: This was a rather hard chapter for me to write and I rather resent it. I'm not sure if Emma and Remus will ever get together because it doesn't justify my belief that Tonks was the only girl Remus ever had a relationship with. Please please please Review! For those of you that have been reviewing, I thank you very much. I'll try to get another chapter posted up in about two weeks. It's really hard to update now because I'm in a college prep school with total idiots for classmates, minus the occasional best friend. Okay I rambling. Review and ask question if you need to. THANKS! AND PLEASE REVIEW!