ladies and gentlereaders! i have made two videos for this here fic, one is like an opening credits for all my cast so far and the other is of the immediate cast. also, i've decided i might just make this an on-going story. like, it could take a while until we reach the end. you guys gotta let me know two things, one: do ya wanna see the videos? and two: do you want this to continue on? it's up to you, if i stop it soon, i'll end with the reuniting of miranda and bianca probably. or maybe sooner. again, you guys get to choose. now on to the chapter.
Kendall pov.
He looks like he's having an internal battle. I sigh.
"Nic, if you need time..." I trail off. He looks at me and shakes his head.
"Yeah Jack. I can. I can tell you what happened there, before there, and after. Doesn't mean I'm gonna though." he says. I frown.
"Why not?" Jackson asks. I wanna know the same thing.
"Cus it don't make a difference. None of it will make a difference. He's dead alright, case closed. I think I should pay the person who did it. Hell, find out how to get a day in their honor is more like it." he says angrily. His emotions are starting to take over him and I wish he'd just let them out.
"Nic he was still your father. Not a good one but your father." Jack says gently. Nic stops pacing and twitches. I see a few looks pass over his face before he goes into a calm stance. This really can't be good.
"I'm s'posed to care?" he asks. I go to say somethin but he holds up his hand. "Nah, really, am I supposed to care? I'm ecstatic the fuckers gone. Wont have to deal with him anymore. Maybe I can actually, I don't know, live in peace." he says. He shakes his head with a empty chuckle. "Ya know, I really don't feel like tellin ya who did it. Why? Cus you'll arrest em, and they'll spend their life behind bars for something they should be rewarded for." he says.
"You don't mean that." jack tries.
"YES THE FUCK I DO!" Nic bellows.
"Nic!" I scold. He turns to me.
"That's my name, don't wear it out." he says. My eyebrows furrow.
"Is this your way of letting everything out? Because if it is, I'd like to know now." I demand. He laughs, actually amused.
"Dude! Can't a man be happy no more? Damn, you people really need a break." he says.
"You're not a man yet. You're still a kid. A kid who's dealing with a lot. Nic just...just let me help you. Please?" I beg a little. He shakes his head.
"Only thing I'm dealin with is the fact I haven't thrown a party yet." he replies. I can see his jaw clinching.
"Ni-" he stops me.
"Nah Kendall. I'm bein serious." he says.
"Dominic..." he cuts in again.
"No Kendall!" he yells.
"Dominic!" I yell back finally standing. He moves a back from me a little, as if he's afraid. I move slightly closer to him and he stands tall this time.
"Kendall, look, I'm sorry if this isn't what ya expected." he stops. "But...ya know what, this was a mistake. I didn't see who shot him." he says. I snort.
"You're a horrible liar." I say. He glares at me but it doesn't scare me much. Although it is the first time he's shot me a look other than trust.
"Whatever." he growls. I walk closer to him.
"Nic whatever you're feelin it's alright." I say. He shakes his head with a dry chuckle.
"I'm feeling fantastic!" he says cheerily. I move closer to him.
"You do-" he stops me yet again. We're are so having a talk about this cutting in thing.
"I'm happy!" he yells. I shake my head.
"Nic she's right. yo-" he cuts jack off.
"I. AM. HAPPY!" nic says but it sounds like he's trying to convince himself. I shake my head.
"No. No you aren't. I can tell..." I trail off to see if he's going to respond. "It's your eyes. They give it away. You're not happy, you're not o-"
"Yes I am."
"No you're not."
"Yes the fuck I am!"
"No the fuck you're not!" it's the first time I remember cursing around him but I'm sure I've slipped before. "And it's alright Nic! You don't have to be strong, you don't have to be happy, hell you don't have to be sad! Just don't lie about what you do feel." I say moving closer. His breathing is ragged while he tries to stare me down. I take in his face. He looks bad. Older than he is. About 17. He has bags under his eyes as if he's been without sleep for days. His skin is so pale he looks sick but the look in his eye is what gets me. He looks confused, hurt, angry, confident...lonely. He looks down then back at me. Eyes hardened then they flash. Through all those emotions again before he takes a deep breath.
"I- I don't know what I feel." he whispers. "Neither of em were the best parents, not like Jack or even Erica, but they were my parents ya know? Mommy and daddy." he says with a crack in his voice. "They...at first I didn't know him. But when I did meet him, he was a cool guy. But then...then I got slapped and cried and I made him ashamed. Cus I wasn't a big boy and I cried when I wasn't s'posed to." he says holding back his own tears now. I step closer to him laying a hand on his shoulder.
"Well it is alright to cry. You've done it before." I say and regret it.
"I know I've been weak! Do you really need to remind me?" he asks jerking away. I let my hand drop to my side.
"Nic, crying doesn't make you weak." jackson tries. "I cry." he says but it doesn't do anything. "Reggie cries." good move jack. Nic really looks up to Reggie. He's like a hero to him. That male figure that he can relate to yet respect.
"Yeah right." nic scoffs. Jack shrugs.
"I can call him if you want. He'll talk to you." jack says.
"I don't need him to talk to me." nic says.
"And why not?" I ask.
"Cus, nothin is wrong." he says simply. I shake my head.
"Jack go get Reggie." I say.
"Alright." he replies.
"You're just wastin your time." nic says to jack's retreating form. I turn and stare directly in his eyes.
"Sit down." I say. He scoffs.
"I'm s'posed to listen to you?" he asks walking towards the door.
"Don't you dare walk away while I'm talking to you. Sit." I command in a tight voice.
"I'm not a dog." he says.
"Sit down!" I yell. He sighs but turns to sit anyway. "Feet off the furniture." he removes his feet he had just propped up. I sit down in front of him on the small table in here in the lounge. I stare at him for a few seconds. Before sighing and speaking in a calmer voice. "Nic, just...talk to Reggie. If not for you do it for me? Please?" I ask. He sighs and nods still not making eye contact. "I'm gonna go get you a juice or something." I say patting his leg. I make my way out and I'm greeted by anxious faces. "He's gonna talk to Reggie." I say. Greenlee offers me a small smile before hugging me quickly. I savor the feeling of that moment but snap back to reality when the elevator doors open. That was quick. Reggie sees my look and flashes a smile.
"I was already on my way here." he says. He moves toward the lounge but turns back to me. "C'mon." he says. I walk in behind him and see Nic leaning with his feet up on the table. Again.
"Dominic..." I warn. He moves his feet and looks at Reggie.
"Sup?" he says. Reggie stands and looks at him for a moment.
"What's goin on?" he asks. Nic shrugs.
"Some reason Kendall thinks I need to talk to somebody. I don't." he says bluntly. Reggie nods.
"So you mean to tell me that you're cool with bein an orphan? Both ya parents dead, don't got nowhere to go. You're the only one who saw Michael get shot and you're bein blamed for ya mom's murder. Damn, that's a lot to be cool with." Reggie says with a long whistle. See, this is why we need him. He's blunt and he'll tell you like it is. Also, he'll set you straight when you need it.
"Look Reggie, I'ma tell ya like I told them, I'm. Fine. Happy even." he says.
"What you happy bout? Could be on your way to 25 to life. Don't seem like a reason to throw a party to me." Reggie says. Nic chuckles.
"Yeah that could ruin the mood but, my worst enemy is dead. I can't help but be happy!" nic says a little too happily.
"But here's another problem. That worst enemy of yours was also ya pops, and I can see that you aint happy." Reggie says to him. He's going to pull something outta nic if he has to be here all day.
"Well ya must be seein things cus I feel good." nic says getting up. "Loved the chat. Feel better. Gotta go, Erica's waiting." he says.
"Sit down boy, I aint done talkin to ya yet." Reggie says grabbing Nic's shirt and pulling him down. "Jack said you don't wanna cry." Reggie starts. Nic shrugs.
"It's for weak people. Men don't cry." he replies.
"You aint a man."
"I'm getting there."
"So what? You just gonna go the rest of ya life not cryin, pretendin that when a crisis hits everything is alright. You cried just fine before." Reggie points out.
"I know that. I was weak but I'm doin a helluva lot better now."
"No Nic, you aint. You're doin worse. Let ya family help ya through this, yell, scream, punch a wall! Don't matter how but ya gotta let it out. It'll just build up if ya don't." Reggie says gently.
"All I got is a sister and she got enough on her plate right now." nic says.
"You got more than just a sister and ya know it." Reggie says seeming offended. Well I am too.
"Look you guys are cool, but ya aint family. Sorry." he says. Reggie scoffs.
"We're ya family whether you acknowledge it or not. We know ya feel the same way so why don't ya just admit it?" Reggie persists.
"I need to get going. I have homework." nic says standing. Reggie hardens his features.
"Aite so you wanna be a man? Fine then." Reggie says pushing Nic in the chest. I want to stop him, but I have a really strong feeling nic needs this. Reggie knows how much to push, I trust him.
"What are you doin?" Nic asks stepping back a little.
"Well ya wanna be a man, we aint family, so lets duke it out." Reggie says.
"I'm not gonna fight you for no reason." nic says stepping around Reggie.
"Scared?" Reggie asks. Nic turns back to him.
"I'm not scared of nothin." nic lies. Reggie scoffs at him.
"That's right. I forgot, you're 'emotionless boy'." Reggie mocks. I can see Nic start to get angry.
"Whatever." nic says turning away.
"That's right. Runaway like the scared little boy you are." Reggie continues to taunt him. "Scared to feel somethin, scared to fight, you really aren't a man." Reggie just lays it on.
"Men deal and move on." nic says.
"No, they let their families help em."
"You're not my fucking family!"
"Watch your language." I say.
"Fuck you." he spits back at me. I look at him shocked.
"Sit down." Reggie says to him. He stands there. "Can't hear? I said sit." Reggie says again.
"I'm not a dog." nic growls out.
"Quit actin like a bitch." Reggie says coolly.
"Ya know what, I'm not gonna stay here and take this." nic says turnin away.
"Keep goin in the direction you're goin, you're gonna be just like him." Reggie says. This stops nic right in his step. He lowers his foot but still doesn't face us. He just stands there, back tense. "You're dad messed with your head. Lied to ya." Reggie says.
"I embarrassed him." Nic whispers after a few minutes.
"He embarrassed his self. Don't believe that." Reggie says to him.
"He said I'm not s'posed to cry." nic adds.
"I say you can."
"I don't think I want to." nic says but I can hear the tears in his eyes.
"Do what'll make you feel better." Reggie says walking behind him putting a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry Kendall. I shouldn't'a said that." he says.
"That what make you feel better?" Reggie asks.
"A little. I'm also sorry for what I said. A-about you guys n-not bein my fa-" he breaks off into sobs. I rush to him and pull him to me. Reggie hugs him on his other side.
"It's alright sweetie. You just let it all out." I say.
"That's right little man. We got you're back...even men gotta cry sometime." Reggie says. This usually non-crier is almost crying. I guess he feels comfortable since nic and I are both crying. We hold him and rock him until he falls asleep. Reggie long stopped crying and I cried up until I checked nic. He's fast asleep, hugging my shirt for dear life. Reggie smooths a little of his hair back and sighs standing up.
"I don't like him cryin." he says. I nod in understanding. "Makes somethin else in me hurt." he says. I nod.
"Breaks my heart." I say. I look up at Reggie who nods in understanding.
"Guess it comes with bein an...cousin? Uncle?" he asks.
"And a mother." I say.