Let the Games Begin
Chapter Six
Edward's POV
I lied. I really wasn't going to take Bella home; it was much too early anyway. Instead, we went to our meadow.
We were lying down in the grass and watching the sunset. Bella was running her warm hand up and down and around, fingers walking along, going all over, then patting my well muscled chest shirt. [LOL hav u ever seen those? They're just too jokes when u see those skinny guys rip off there shirt and then they reveal a picture of a muscled body haha I crack up everytime I see them and I just imagined that happening, like where the camera is all zoomed in and u think its something and then it zooms out and its something different then you thought it was and ur like oooooooo and start laughing haha
It felt good...until I heard an "Um...Edward?" and I realized I smiling from ear to ear when I snapped my eyes open and Bella was giving me this weird look and that I was daydreaming the whole thing.
"Y-yea" I hope she doesn't think I'm weird...do I daydream talk?
"Why were you 'mmm'ing and 'oh Bella'ing?" Did I really say that? I don't remember...
"Well you see..." I paused with my hand in the air trying to figure something out, "I...was..." I spun my hand around ready for the first thing that came to mind, "you could say...um...well-"
"Oh spit it out already, fool" Did she just call me a fool?
"Noooooo. I called you a teletubby!" her voice was dripping with sarcasm. What? She can read my mind now? She's not even a vampire for god's sake! No offence God! –I held up my hands innocently and looked up at the sky...in my mind-
"No. You're talking out loud, if you didn't notice! And don't drag God into this!"
"Okay" I sighed. "The thing is-" I stopped talking when suddenly I heard something. Victoria.
What the hell was she doing here? That bitch! I'm going to rip her to shreds! And burn the—hold on a sec. I have an idea. I smiled mischievously.
She came out of the bushes and Bella's eyes nearly bulged out. Time to put my acting skills into action! Supersta!, the voice of my ego whispered in the background. [I spelled superstar wrong on purpose if u didn't know xD
"OH NO! YOU FILTHY BITCH! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TOUCH MY BELLA! DIE! GO TO HELL!" I was practically skipping to her after I stood protectively in front of Bella.
They both gave me a 'wtf? Are you shitting me?' look. [hehe I noticed a lotta ppl using that line too, now still hilarious
Victoria's POV
I came back to apologize for James' behavior and I was glad that he was gone. The guy's a total asshole. What did I even see in him? [yea I changed what she thinks in this :)
I found them in this meadow and was about to talk when the savior that killed that bastard of mate of mine...skipped to me? Okay...I take back the 'savior' part and replace it with 'Barney; my worst nightmare'
"OH NO! YOU FILTHY BITCH! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TOUCH MY BELLA! DIE! GO TO HELL!" What the fuck? Are you shitting me? What did he do, drink some human that was smoking weed or something? Seriously!
"Edward...? What the hell are you doing?" Bella asked. At least one of us was willing to ask...
"RUN BELLA! RUN LIKE THE WIND! LIKE BUGS BUNNY! LIKE HAMTARO! LIKE...LIKE DAVID BEKHAM ON THE SPORTS CHANNEL!!!" [I LOVE Hamtaro I usta watch it like everyday when I was little hehe so cute
"Um...Edward? I don't think she's-" the damn bastard cut her off. He just doesn't shut the fuck up, does he?
"GET AWAY!" he put his hand on my face pushing me away.
Now I was getting pissed! I put my arms on his shoulders ready to shove him away when he brought me forward, pretending I pushed him while he screamed "AHHH"
"GET OFF OF ME, WOMAN! DON'T EVEN TRY TO BITE HER! NO! DAMN YOU'RE STREGTH! DAMN IT TO THE FIERY PITS OF THE NEW FLAMING HOT CHEETOS!" He was pushing me forward but his body was positioned like he was actually trying to pull me back and shoved my face into the girl's neck just when I was about to yell at him. Crap. My teeth cut through her neck and blood and venom was mixing along with the poor girl's screams.
OH NOW IT'S ON, BARNEY!
I whipped my head back, spitting Bella's blood out of my mouth and brang my elbow back; right bellow the belt, as hard as I could.
He fell back and his mouth was open the size of a (human) dinner plate, like he was screaming but I'm guessing that he was in too much pain to make a sound. Good. Serves him right!
I brushed off my hands in a job well done and patted myself on the part, smiling while saying "Good job, good job"
I was doing the mica Lena (my happy dance) in my head until there was a shriek of agony and I whipped around and say the human, writhing in pain. I looked at the dude, still on the floor and not looking like he was going to get up anytime soon.
"Son of a bitch!" I whined, stomping my foot like a five year old.
I sighed and picked up the girl and looked at...what's his face. Riiiight. I guess Bella wouldn't like it if I left him here. I sighed once more and grabbed him by the back of his collar and started running; dragging his body might I add, cause there was no way I was going to carry him and not let him get scraped (or as scraped as a vampire could be, meaning his precious designer clothes would be shredded and dirty mwahaha-ok I'm scaring myself) and headed to his car, that I saw earlier.
Every time we hit a dumb, rock, or ditch, there would be an occasional "ow!" or "watch it" and some "my hair! I'm going to look ugly! Nooo! What if Bella leaves me for another guy with sleek hair!?!" and then start whimpering like a little girl. Man, this guy has problems!
When I got to the car, I dug my hands into what's his face's pocket while he was in a fetal position, rocking back and forth because there was dirt and moss in his balding hair. I actually felt sorry for him...no, I'm just joking with ya, the guy's a creep. I think the whole high school charade is starting to catch up to him...
I found the keys and jammed it into the ignition. After I was speeding down the path at 150, I racked my brain, trying to remember where the coven's house was again.
When I pulled up, I stepped out of the car and almost gagged...if I could've. Those mutts and Barney's family came rushing out.
One tried swiping at me to grab my collar but I backed off and yelled, "HEY! Paws off!"
"We're going to rip you into shreds, bloodsucker!" one of the dogs shouted.
"Are you really all that blind? Seriously? MY EYES ARE FUCKING GOLD! JEEZ!" I said, using one hand to make my eye bigger while pointing at it with the other.
Everyone stared at me in shock.
"The boy's got some serious low self-esteem issues and horrible acting skills and literally shoved my teeth on the girl like he was milking a rattlesnake! And I was just gaining my self-control! What is he, trying to ruin me?" I growled at them.
"Erm..."
"Uh..."
"I LIKE EGGS!" Everyone looked at the big brawny vampire.
"Riiiiight..." I looked at my watch and sighed, "Are you going to help the poor girl out, or are you just going to let her transform in a car, with her...boyfriend in a fetal position?"
"RIGHT!" realization just dawned on them and they all rushed to the car and grabbed both of them. Why did I become a vegetarian again?
Before I realized it, I was being dragged into their house and sat on a couch by that pixie-like vampire. She was jumping up and down in a flashing blind speed and I was getting a little scared.
"OH.MY.GOD!YouhavetotellusallaboutwhathappenedtoyouandwhathappenedtoEdwardandBellabutyoucanjustignoreEdward,he'salittleweirdbutdon'ttellhimthatorhe'llkillmeandohmygod!Ijustloveyouroutfit!Wheredoyoulive?Causeifyoudon'thaveanywheretostay,we'llbemorethenhappytoletyoustayhere!" Wow...that girl can talk. I ended up sitting there for a few seconds, replaying what she just said to me in slow motion...which would be like talking normally...for vampires.
I sighed for the millionth time this past hour and replied, "Sure, I can use a place to stay but can I explain when everyone is here? I REALLY don't want to answer ALL that more then once" The...Oompa-loompa frowned for a fraction of a second before just saying,
"Sure. Follow me, I'll show you your room" and skipped up the stairs, dragging me along like a rag doll. Does she take steroids or does she have some secret bulging muscle hidden under that miniskirt and tank-top that nobody knows about?
She sat me on a bed in, what I guess is my room. Then she sat next to me and turned to face me, smiling, like her mouth was stitched by some freak plastic surgeon, at me.
Boy, this is gonna be a hell of a three days.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx s2 xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
After the three days, I was dressed like a Barbie doll...hooker.
When the Oompa-loompa—I mean Alice (I learned her name after about the second day) left me to wax her husband's eyebrows, I threw the clothes off and literally jumped into the shower.
I changed quickly, into something from my suitcase that I retrieved from the hotel I was staying at. Just as I finished brushing my hair, the screaming from Bella stopped and I no longer heard her heartbeat. Finally.
I busted into the room and realized that her mate grew his hair back [I'm just gonna say that's a vampire healing thing cuz if they heal to look good so they can 'attract' humans, why not grow your hair back quickly too? and was gaping at Bella.
Yea...she changed a lot. And it didn't help when his sister, Alice, changed her into short-shorts that were practically hanging on her hips for life, and a tight, and when I say tight, I mean TIGHT, t-shirt. His eyes the size of saucers, mouth hanging out with flies going in and drool coming out, and all that jazz; the whole package. Which was REALLY funny, you had to be there to know what I'm talking about.
Bella looked over at me, after observing her surroundings with her new senses. I was down on the ground in hysterics. Then she looked over at what I was laughing at. She smiled, realizing what was so funny, and helped the poor guy close his mouth but she couldn't do anything about his globe size eyes.
When I finally stopped laughing, all three of us were being tugged downstairs into the living room, by Alice.
"Now start from the beginning" she instructed.
I was about to say something when some dog interrupted me.
"Why the hell, are you letting the human drinker in here? She killed on our land!" one sneered. Jackass...
"Yeah! I saw me rip her to shreds now!"
"I haven't drunken any people on your land; that was Laurent" I pointed to my eyes once more in a 'hellooooo? Blind much?' way.
"You were still on our lands! We all saw you here!" another was shaking.
"Well sorry, Santa! I didn't even know about the treaty or boarder line till last week!" I dragged out the sorry in a sarcastic tone.
"Wait. You're not going to kill me?" Bella asked before another could interject. Thank god. What? Where the hell did she get that?
"What? Where the hell did you get that?" I narrowed my eyebrows in confusion.
"Laurent said that you were going to torture me to death, the second you found me" she looked down. What? Ooooooohhhhh.
"What? Oooooooohhhhh-" I was cut off her diarrhea colored hair vampire. He stopped laughing after that thought. He was panicking now and you could practically hear his mind screaming 'WHAT?!?! MY HAIR'S DIARREAH COLOR?!?! HOW COME NOBODY TOLD ME THIS!?!? I NEED TO STOP MY A HAIR SALON!! AND FAST!!' I was laughing like crazy in my mind but my face didn't show it, and I just continued.
"You didn't notice he was lying? He just said that so you would let him eat you easier" I waved it off like it was nothing and everyone glared. Oh right.
"Okay, well you see...after you guys killed James, Laurent and I went to Alaska and we met the Denali coven and switched diets. I've been following ever since because...well I just flat out hate James and didn't want to be or do anything like him. Laurent was fine for a while but then gave up because 'It's too hard! I don't wanna anymore'" I quoted his exact words to me.
"Wait—you hate James? Then why were you his mate?" The blond chick asked.
"Hell yea I hated him! Being his bloody slave! And for the whole 'being his mate thing' was because...iunno" I shrugged. They gaped at me like I just threw a baby out the window.
"Anyways...he was just an asshole and I'm glad you killed him. That was an eternity of a useless relationship off my back, and I just wanted to thank Bella cause...well it was basically her getting him murdered" Then I remembered what happened at the meadow.
"AND I WOULD'VE IF THAT BITCH OF AN ASSHOLE OVER THERE" I pointed at what's his face, "DIDN'T SHOVE MY TEETH IN THE GIRL'S NECK!" They all stared at me...then Barney...then me...Barney...Dora...me...and him once again.
"Oh and by the way—what the hell is with your acting skills? That was HORRIBLE! Brittany Spears could've done a better job!" [no offence if you like her cuz I just really hate her and she doesn't really act. I've seen the episode or Will and Grace that she was in and it was pretty bad...and I put Dora in there on purpose if you're like 'wtf? Where the hell did that come from?' xD
"What? I can't act?!?! Since when?!?" he started hyperventilating...or as much of hyperventilation you can get, being a vampire and all.
Everyone—including the mutts—was laughing.
"I think Jane screwed u up pretty bad, the last time she made you squirm like a worm" Alice choked out and they all laughed harder.
Five minutes later...
I looked at my watch and was getting impatient.
"-cough-SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP-cough-" I patted my chest for effect.
They stopped immediately. About time you hyenas!
"You done?" I crossed my arms and tapped my foot.
"-cough-Yeah-cough-" they looked away.
"Okay" I explained the whole...'acting' (if you can call it that) scene to the ones who didn't know and they glared at Edward. SO THAT'S HIS NAME! I knew, I knew it!
He looked away in shame.
"You still broke the treaty by biting a human" I assumed he was the Alpha.
"How? I didn't bite her. I was trying to talk when he" I pointed to Barney (meh. Fits him better), "sliced my teeth into her skin!"
"You're right. We should kill him instead" they started advancing on him when Bella stood in front of him.
"Don't you dare touch him" she snared. And I thought she was all 'innocent' and 'I wouldn't hurt a fly'.
They looked at each other and then started advancing on him again when the weirdest thing happened.
-POOF-
"OH GOD!" everyone in the coven—including me—covered our noses, while the wolves stared at each other, wide-eyed. They took another step.
-POOF-
"GAH! WHAT THE HELL!" they shouted, totally confused.
"Um...uh...I told you not to touch him!" Bella was shaking her finger at them, looking quite confused herself.
"Uh...Bella?" Carlisle asked.
"Y-yea?" she was freaked out as much as the rest of us.
"I think that's you power..." he wasn't quite sure what to make of it either.
"WHAT?!?" We all yelled; Bella being the loudest.
"I think you power is to make people fart...I think"
"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME!" she started panicking. Well who wouldn't? that's just plain...gay. I mean, what kind of power is that? Obviously no one—sane—on the face of the earth—human or mythical creature—would want that.
"Shh. It's not...that...bad" Diarrhea head was trying to sooth her. Some boyfriend, I thought and he glared at me while I looked down at my nails, whistling, pretending not to notice.
"Yeah! Think of all the people you can embarrass! That would be so cool!" Emmett started laughing. The freaky thing is he sounded like he meant it.
Bella started fuming in so much anguish; you would've thought she was making tea, if you didn't know she didn't drink tea! Then something happened.
-SLAP-
Something hilarious happened; Emmett just slapped himself! And it must've been pretty damn hard because he went flying to the floor...face first...legs up high.
Silence.
Okay well not really, considering it lasted for two whole seconds before we all burst into laughter.
"OMG...HAHA...THAT...HAHA...WAS...HAHA...SO...HAHA...FUNNY!" One of the...oh hell I'm just gonna call that one Goofy. [Paul's gonna be Goofy, Jacob - Blue (from Blue's clues), Sam –Lassie, Jared – Tinkerbell (Paris Hilton's dog), Embry – Buddy (I love those movies! They're so cute )
"OKAY...HAHA...WAS...HAHA...WRONG...HAHA...I THINK...HAHA...YOUR POWER...HAHA...IS...HAHA...MIND CONTROL!!" Carlisle was down on the ground by the end of his sentence.
"WOW...HAHA...I'VE...HAHA...NEVER...HAHA...SEEN...HAHA...CARLISLE...HAHA...STRUGGLE FOR...HAHA...WORDS!" Alice choked out.
-POOF-
We froze. Did we all just fart?
Everyone looked at Bella. She rolled her eyes and looked down 'innocently' and then looked away like someone was calling her. Pssh yea right.
"So...you done laughing?" she turned back to us, still with that 'innocent' look while we glared at her.
"Okay...well I'm just going to go now..." this place is just too weird for me.
"WAIT!" Alice yelled. I sighed and turned to her.
"Why are you leaving so soon?" her eyes got all big and her eyebrows went down at the ends.
"Because I'm going back to Alaska; you guys are too weird"
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SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATE SOONER!...again . well I'm not going to tell you all what I was doing cuz there's just too much to write and I'm lazy but I tried to make this as long as possible and that was hella hard cuz its like I lost my imagination (weird eh?). I also got my hair done :D its so wicked cool (well to me) I'll post it but first I need someone to tell me how to post pictures on my profile hehe yea I barely know how to do anything on fanfic except post stories and reviews...and yea that's about it lol. Pathetic right? Oh yea, and if anyone knows how to post links but make it shorter. If you don't know what I'm talking bout (yea I wouldn't get me either if I was someone else) like when people have 'Bella' and then you click the name and then it opens up a link. If someone can help me, I'll post another chapter by tomorrow and if I'm busy during the day, I'll stay up all night and that's a bad idea since Tuesday is my first day of school but ah well, I'll get over it.
PS: sorry if the chapter sucks, I didn't really have time to think of a better idea and when I DID have time, I couldn't think of anything -.-" so yea this is kinda like 'where the hell did this come from' lol well anyways imma start writing the next one since I might not have time when school starts and not because of homework cuz last year, my friends from high school didn't get any for like a week at least (YES –happy dance-), but because I getta see all my friends again ;D yea I haven't seen some of them for a while hehe okay I'm gonna stop talking now, I'm going to the mall soon.
Buh-bye